Quote Originally Posted by DataNinja View Post
See, that's another fault I have. Taking things too often at face value, and not reading textual tone. (It's why I tend to use far more emoji/smilies than I really should, compared to everyone else. Because I always fear being misunderstood as not joking/light of tone when that's my intention. ...of course, then my English courses kick in, and are all "don't you dare end two back-to-back lines with the same one!")
*shrug* Same. Some days are better than others for reasons I cannot discern.

I'll be honest, for a lot of the time for family hugs, especially now, it definitely ends up feeling more like because of obligation than anything else.
(...which comes down to another problem of mine. I am fairly certain that I've never directly said 'no' to my family, at least in any significant capacity - unless there was another obligation I'd already made that conflicted. Even now, as an adult.)
I feel the same way, honestly. I don't enjoy the hugs, but I do go through with them and sometimes even offer them myself. The hug isn't really the point; I just like these people and want to let them know that.

Quote Originally Posted by LaZodiac View Post
You can do it HT! Crush the antisocial ****heel that was Past HT underneath your boots!

One of the most important lessons I've learned growing up is that sometimes you need to kill the you you left behind. It's a simple, though quite complex, thing. The gist of it is that I'm pretty sure the younger version of me would mostly hate my current self for all the good, positive reasons you can be hated by someone.
Past me wasn't a ****heel. He just had no confidante, no confidence and cared too much what his Dad thought.

I don't think I ever really became my own person, even the HalfPerson that I feel like I am now, until the day it really sunk in that being afraid of Dad would accomplish nothing. He'd still be angry at everything I did, and there was no fixing our relationship. Things only really got better for us when I stopped caring what he wanted or what he thought as my father and started thinking of it in terms of a business transaction. He's a self-made man who knows what he's doing, and I can learn a lot from the guy. So long as I'm willing to be the butt monkey for a little while longer. And hey, he's barely home anymore anyway, so that's a plus.

I spent most of my high school years curled into a ball, crying and certain that I was going to die in a ditch somewhere, cold and alone, an abject failure that did nothing but drain and burden others. Still not sure that I won't end up there, honestly. But I'm hopeful that I won't, and I know I help people. That's a start.