Incredible OotS Index Version 2

Change Log:
  • Fixed/replaced broken " tags.
  • Split into collapsable groupings of 25 with spoiler tags.
  • Updated to new non-CGI URLs. (Old ones still work for now.)

1) Conversion to 3.5, featuring "weapon shrinkage"
2) Picking teams to split up (Elan is last)
3) Attack of the ninjas! ("I think I just failed a Spot check")
4) Elan's magical songs, and a stupid ogre
5) Everyone rejoins, and kicks ogre @$$
6) Aftermath and healing ("I found all these free swords. They were in my spleen.")
7) Durkon uses ThorPrayer (tm) ("You have selected 'Colon Tumor'.")
8) Haley gives Elan a healing potion; Belkar is missing a healing potion. ("I'm a rogue, so I must have stolen your potion.")
9) Vaarsuvius Identifies the belt of masculinity/femininity.
10) Vaarsuvius uses a spell of great power to overcome goblins with sleep. ("But...I did not cast my spell yet.")
11) OotS confronts a goblin spellcaster who utilizes Unholy Blight--successful on all but Belkar. ("Best not to dwell on it.")
12) The great "up a level"/"down a level" debate.
13) Elan uses "Summon Plot Exposition" to fill in backstory. ("And treasure!")
14) The group needs to camp for the night. Roy considers possible watch assignments.
15) Roy's dead father visits him in the night with the cryptic foreshadowing, "When the goat turns red strikes true."
16) Roy consults with Vaarsuvius about his ghostly visit, while Durkon insists on turning undead. ("Sweet merciful gods, my poor, useless eyes!")
17) Haley, Elan, and Belkar debate the merits of a rapier and fail their Hide and Spot checks. ("I could Sunder that by speaking too loudly.")
18) Confronted by the chimera Trigak, Haley makes use of Sneak Attack, twice.
19) Haley, Belkar, and Elan must flee the chimera. Elan tries a cunning illusion, but Trigak ain't a "playa." ("Never say 'playa' again.")
20) Vaarsuvius eagerly unleashes freshly prepared spells on the chimera. ("Evan's Spiked Tentacles of Forced Intrusion!!!")
21) Haley scolds Belkar for killing off the chimera ("He was obviously supposed to be a recurring villain") while Roy and Vaarsuvius debate whether the prophecy has been fulfilled.
22) Roy attempts to get Belkar to track the chimera back to Xykon. ("The chimera made fun of how short you are.")
23) Xykon consults with Redcloak about discount mercenaries and refuses to let the Thing in the Shadows reveal itself.
24) Durkon's clanking metal armor alerts monsters, to Roy's chagrin. ("The heroes are here!")
25) Elan and Durkon discuss the armor check penalty, and Elan draws a scary conclusion. ("Please cast blindness on me.")

26) Roy attempts to get Elan clothed again before Haley returns from scouting. ("Wanna help me practice my tumbling skill?")
27) Roy convinces Elan to accept "Cat's Grace" from Durkon and put his clothes back on. ("It's a touch spell.")
28) Haley returns from scouting and talks about "Elan's blade." (" see what his 18 Charisma is worth 'under the hood'.")
29) Roy is skeptical that Haley found nothing but a rapier in the room she "scouted," but has no answer for "feminine products."
30) Vaarsuvius finds a secret door, and Elan finds a "squid thingy."
31) We get to see the Mind Flayer's thoughts and why it chooses Roy instead of Vaarsuvius.
32) Two lawyers show up with a "spooooky" Cease and Desist order and cart the (trademarked monster name) away.
33) OotS mail call, featuring Vaarsuvius explaining doilies.
34) Fighting goblins, Durkon keeps forgetting to add in his bonuses. ("He'd be a pretty good fighter if he had a better head for numbers.")
35) Haley searches for traps, to the delight of the men in the group. ("Can't be too safe.")
36) Roy and Haley discuss the distinction between "There are no traps" and "I didn't find any traps." ("I have a lot of hit points. How bad could it be?")
37) Xykon deals with ogres who want higher wages. His solution: Zombie ogres.
38) Roy, poisoned by the trap, is immobilized and becomes a victim of practical jokes by Belkar and Elan. ("Think of the fun at parties!")
39) Roy's ghostly dad returns to renew the warning. ("You brought a DATE to come warn me of mortal danger?")
40) Thor's battle with Surtur is interrupted by an "emergency" call from Durkon to request spells.
41) Surrounded in a battle with still more goblins, Vaarsuvius uses Cone of Cold to great effect. ("Too bad you froze Elan by accident.")
42) Belkar gets to scout by himself, makes a Spot check, defeats a ninja, and wishes he had an audience.
43) Roy decides to skip opening another door, but Elan can't resist the mystery. Beyond the door: a group of doubles!?!
44) Meeting the Linear Guild. Introductions all around.
45) OotS debates the wisdom of joining forces with the Linear Guild. ("Haley, you know, treasure isn't that important.")
46) OotS agrees to help the Linear Guild find the Talisman of Dorukan, and Nale gets an Internal Monologue.
47) The combined teams split up to reach the three elemental sigils, and Xykon and his minions watch on the crystal ball. ("Picture in picture!")
48) The kobold keeps stabbing Belkar whenever he leaves his "threatened area." Roy accepts it. ("Yay! Thog happy talky-man is happy.")
49) Vaarsuvius unsuccessfully attempts to barter with the dark elf Zz'dtri for a Fly spell. ("Crap! Another Feather Fall? This totally sucks!")
50) "The Semi-Secret Origin of Elan and Nale" explains the separated twins. ("And that never struck you as needlessly complicated?" "Not until this moment, no.")

51) Roy and Thog go for the earth sigil "thog would be a good puppy daddy"
52) the clerics and "bards" for the fire sigil, "higa just needs some "alone-time""
53) the elfs and the lady's find the air-sigil "maybe mom is right. I should quit this job before-"
54) activating the sigils "rumbleworthy"
55) introduction to the 2ed monster-pit by Nale
56) Nale takes the talisman and strikes down Elan "Allow me to shed light on an alternate hypothesis"
57) Nale reveals his true plans and captures the order "Attack my outdated legions"
58) V uses an owls wisom to enable Belkar to use a healing scroll "i'm all for looting the corpses of my fallen allies, but shouldnt we wait for a better time?"
59) Haley destroys the talisman
60) Roy reveals the true meaning of the prophesy "wow, thats a lot more planning then i though this strip had"
61) Nale and Elan fight "deny the psychopatic egomaniac"
62) Haley is puzzled by her lineair-twin's nature "eat obscure alchemical metal"
63) Belkar kills the kobold and ends up with a new hat
64) Thog and Nale switch opponents "Thog reluctantly forced to agree"
65) the elfs battle and zz'drizt(sp?) is carried off to see the Wizard
66) Elans makes Thog surrender "stay away! Thog not want girl cooties!"
67) Elan persues Nale who nearly falls in the pit "Karma-riffic!"
68) Elan has the classic angel vs devil internal debate "so much for law and chaos"
69) Party rejoines and finds stoned(sorry) fey "who's that looking good with his swanky new hat"
70) Thog tells the Order about the scroll and the fey is returned "for a thousand years"
71) the fey explaines about her job and Xykon moving in "so, do yoy have any actual experience in controlling the elemental forces of the wind?
72) the party uses the employee exit and "I have this nagging feeling we're all forgetting something"
73) Durkon thinks about WWTD "Then i return to Asgard to woo godesses and drink an oceans worth of ale"
74) Helge meets up with Durkon and they by jumping on the Flumphs
75) Order finds out Durkon is missing "I am so dissapointed in you, Roy"

76) Durkon and Helga travel through dark dungeon, "maybe we should hold hands in case the floor gives way"
77) "go team cleric"
78) Roy's dad comes round and complains about Roy being a fighter "maybe you could stick him in the eye. Oh right, skeleton"
79) Loki and Thor find out something about their clerics "and now we're in the dark toghether, alone"
80) "Behold, BANJO the CLOWN, god of puppets"
81) The Church of Banjo grows to include Belkar (orthodox) and Haley (reformed) but not Vaarsuvius ("Does it do espresso?")
82) Redcloak finds the Thing in the Shadows watching dwarf sex on the crystal ball. *("It's entertaining, AND educational!!!")
83) Basking in the afterglow, Hilga tells a shocked Durkon her backstory.
84) The painful breakup of Durkon and Hilga ("What the heck does happiness have ta do wit' bein' a dwarf?")
85) Durkon returns, and the Church of Banjo collapses, setting the stage for "the call of Banjulhu!"
86) Belkar's in trouble...until they find the restrooms.
87) Elan enlightens everyone about Vaarsuvius being "half-camel" while Haley waits in line.
88) Vaarsuvius suggests using a "less robust" version of Invisibility Sphere to bypass monsters. *("Who's groping me??")
89) The difficulties of navigating while invisible. *("Bite my 50% miss chance.")
90) The invisible group has to make Move Silently checks to avoid goblins, with one little problem. *("I got a 4!")
91) The pursuing goblins are dealt with by "Fruit Pie the Sorcerer" ("You're trying to kill me, you fruit-filled bastard!")
92) Still fleeing the goblins, the group takes help from unseen allies below a trap door, and V leaves Explosive Runes behind. *("It's a dungeon, V, there's always a secret door.")
93) The hidden allies prove to be goblin teenagers. *("Listen to me, young man, you will drink the blood of the innocent and you will LIKE IT.")
94) As the goblin teens lead OotS past interestingly-named dungeon geography, Belkar, Roy, and Durkon devise a plan to defeat Xykon.
95) Xykon needs Redcloak to stop killing demon roaches and Speak with Dead. *("My question is this: do you know where my keys are?")
96) Redcloak tries to convince Xykon to attempt to open the gate with less "zapping." *("I've never heard of any gate.")
97) Xykon explains that he knows how to open the gate, if OotS will ever get down there. *("Sir, aren't you going to join us in a hearty evil villain laugh?")
98) Emerging from the Corridor that Takes Three Strips To Walk Through, the group triggers a trap that sprays barbeque sauce ("Wait--Halfling senses activated!")
99) V Fireballs the monster, but Haley gets dragged off by one of the goblin teens ("The fireball seals in the deep roasted flavor!")
100) Haley easily defeats her captor with Bluffing and Head Butt Sneak Attack, and is disappointed to find nothing special for episode #100

101) When intimidation fails, Elan succeeds in questioning a threatening to cry. *("You guys go ahead, I'm just going to harvest his kidneys and I'll catch up.")
102) Roy uses Great Cleave against zombies, to the delight of Elan and Belkar ("Roy has boobies.")
103) Xykon and the Thing in the Shadows practice for the "big reveal." *("Order of the Stick! I will bathe in your blood with lavender bath gel and a good loofa!")
104) OotS, and the bad guys, make their preparations for battle. *("Demihumans, start your castings.")
105) Splash panel shows "considerably more resistance than [V] was expecting," but Roy orders "Charge." *(Belkar: "This is the happiest moment of my life.")
106) As the battle rages, Xykon makes a Bluff check, and Roy sends Elan to try to touch the gate. *("See? Never bet against the gullibility of the good guys, Redcloak.")
107) Belkar opts to leave his post guarding the spellcasters to take out an enemy. *("Pointy-eared, purple-haired, ambiguously-gendered pain in my ass.")
108) Haley arrives, takes in the battle scene, and makes a courageous leap. *("Tumble skill, don't fail me now.")
109) Haley manages to stop Elan by tackling him, then lingers a bit too long ("I guess the goblins are still confused by all the Attack of Opportunity rules.")
110) Roy makes a less-than-dramatic revelation of his identity to Xykon, who has trouble remembering dear old dad. *("You killed more than one guy named Fyron in Cliffport?")
111) Durkon makes good use of Thor's Might to put an end to goblins, and to Belkar's fun
112) Xykon, forewarned by the traitorous goblin teen, agrees to duel Roy and shatters the enchanted sword. *("You, sir, have a serious problem with overreaction.")
113) As the battle goes poorly, Roy remembers the history of the now-shattered sword ("Turn undead!" "Bolster undead!" *"Stab undead!")
114) Xykon tries to do the big reveal, only to be "moderately inconvenienced" by Roy ("You broke my sword!")
115) Xykon explodes, and the fight is over for everyone but Belkar ("Run, my pretty little chunks of XP, run!")
116) With the battle over, Haley organizes the search for loot, using a still-paralyzed V as a divining rod
117) Redcloak and Xykon (not dead yet--surprise!) explain to the Thing in the Shadows why he still can't be revealed. *("It's his soul-hidey-place.")
118) "Nothing left to do but activate the castle self-destruct rune and leave!"
119) The group flees, with Elan and Roy delaying long enough for a dramatic leap with the explosion right behind them. *("Seriously, Belkar, put some ranks in Spot already.")
120) End of story arc--Elan sums up, and the group poses for the end of the trade paperback.
121) The return of mail call- 12 siders and Ninja vs. Pirate ("Pirate, definatley pirate")
122) Preparations of a small town for big adventurers. ("I love small towns!")
123) Getting rooms and getting settled for the night. The one about the globes. ("I'm surprised you don't have your own set V.")
124) Everyone, well almost, goes up a level. Elan is a big chunk of XP. ("Help! Help, I don't want to be a hat!")
125) Roleplaying XP at it's finest, Belkar knows how to work the system with a sob story about his past. ("Actually I was expecting to have to kill Belakar, I could have used the XP for scribing scrolls.")

126) Rules joke about multiclassing and retroactive inferences. V's mad at the rules.("Hey nobody forced you to study hard and make something of yourself")
127) Elanicus' debut. V loses hir temper and chews Elan out. ("If I don't look directly at it, it can't kill my brain")
128) Appoligies are issued, feelings are patched up, hugs are given. ("*sniff* I love you guys!")
129) LOOT! It's time to divy up the spoils and Haley manages to get more than everyone else with 5 valueless rocks. ("I guess I'll just have to accept getting twice as much gold as the rest of you")
130) Magical loot! Everyone picks one magic item from the pile, Roy gets stuck with a bag of tricks. ("...AND lets me reach stuff on the top shelf. DONE")
131) Haley's letter. Here we find out that Haley's father is being held prisioner and can be let out with large amounts of cash. ("Yup, that me. Greedy to the end, teehee")
132) Belkar goes to the brb. guild. He gets a pamphlet, talks to Gortok, and a review of the health benifits. ("Tiny man violating Gortok's personal space!")
133) Entrance exam, the answer was "D all of the above!" Belkar had to fight one of 3 low level barbarians in the cerimonial arena.
134) Side quest ahoy! Roy visits the blacksmith to get his sword reforged, and finds out that he needs starmetal, which can be found in the middle of the wooden forest. ("Goddamn it, I hate sidequests!)
135) V buys potions. A poke at discount stores. V attempts to give an economics lesson to Larry and Eve, who then put everything on sale, therefore making even less money. ("My conscience is now appeased")
136) An extra long strip where Roy tries to buy a weapon. A parody of the cheese shop sketch.
137) Teh gewd gods. Elan tries to get Banjo into the Asguardian pantheon, the cleric of Freya isn't so keen on the idea. Odin likes puppets.
138) Durkon tries to find quieter armor. First mention of druids with pointy sticks. Also half blind muskrat with 17 cymbals attached to him.
139) Contracts are up! Belkar and Haley need to be convinced to go on the sidequest. Roy manges to convince both of them with a story of king giants guarding the starmetal.
140) Roy and Belkar go to buy horses. Belkar wants a riding dog insead of a pony, gets a wiener dog. "Careful examination will reveal that I am an adult male"
141) Elan teaches everyone how to ride. Because Roy took goat herding. We find out how fragile Roy's perception of reality is.
142) The linear guild plots. Sabine is relealed to be the blacksmith and Nale states that they are going to cliffport. Mr. Real blacksmith is being held captive by Thog.
143) Random road encounter! Two trolls (or somethings) sneak up on the party, and they frogot to make checks for their mounts. They try again. ("Darn it, Whisper!")
144) Roy has a choice between a broken sword hilt and a bag of tricks. He chooses poorly.
145) V finishes the random encounter and explains encounter math to Elan. ("And knowing is half the battle!")
146) Roy gets chewed out by Belkar for being unreliable. ("Identify with the proverbial pot much?")
147) Xkyon, Redcloak, and Thing in the Dark (TitD) get out of the tunnels and into daylight. Redcloak grows a spine, TitD gets a hello kitty umbrella. ("Maybe I just got hit with a piece of yours sir")
148) Xykon's valley is overrun with hobgoblins. Redcloak tries to get him to not recruit them, does a bad job at it. ("It's offical, orange is the new green.")
149) Redcloak takes over the hobgoblins, the supreme leader is a litte chicken.
150) Durkon is scared of trees.

151) Start of the bandit storyline. An ambush by some second level "kids." Haley gives some good advice.
152) The kid's back up steps in to help, Elan is kidnapped. ("Hey, where'd the sun go?")
153) Haley gets most of the rest of the team to help her go rescue Elan. Roy thinks adventuring with Elan is more of an obstacle than it's worth.
154) V's familiar gets named, and gets shot at while scouting. ("I don't see why you bothered, I haven't named any of my other class features.")
155) Haley wants to be sneaky, and manipulates time.
156) Elan starts to sneak out, but gets distracted and comes back with flowers for bandit queen Sam.
157) Haley starts enacting one of her cunning rescue operations, but gets foiled when Belkar lights a tent on fire.
158) Economics discussion of large scale banditry.
159) "Plotus Interptus" Back story of the bandit clan, Elan and Sam get walked in on.
160) Haley challanges Sam to solo combat, and loses.
161) V knows, Belkar knows, Elan still has no clue. Durkon gets spooked and runs.
162) Roy camps by himself, has a discussion with his dad, goes to rescue the entire rest of the party.
163) The bag of tricks comes in handy. Rest of the party is about to be hung.
164) Big dramatic sword hilt throwing. Everyone but Belkar gets cut down.
165) Hanging doesn't work on halflings. Preparations for the big bandit battle ensue.
166) Vaarsuvius counterspells the bandit sorceress to set up the "Tetherball Special"
167) Roy faces off with the older bandit and is forced to once more use the bag of tricks, which backfires.
168) The battle continues, and the sorceress proves too much for our heroes, but not enough to beat her dad again
169) The new bandit king deals with the aftermath, including freeing Durkon to "protect" him from the dangerous trees. Durkon becomes the bandit king.
170) Durkon demonstrates his wisdom as bandit king, then disbands the bandits and prepares to enjoy his beer.
171) The group debates what to do with the former bandit leaders. Roy decides to leave them to deal with each other, to Belkar's delight. ("Your approval fills me with shame.")
172) Elan asks why Roy did not immediately come to his rescue, and Haley covers. ("If you want to live to see your next Age Category, drop it.")
173) The group reclaims their animals from "mount parking," but Vaarsuvius seems to have lost the claim ticket. ("Your horse, sir or madam.")
174) The Mysterious Cloaked Avenger interviews those who have encountered OotS, including a weasel with ambitions. ("Even if I have to endure a hundred montage sequences, they shall taste my blades.")
175) Getting close to the starmetal, OotS debates the merits of hexes, on maps and otherwise.

176) Fighting the green hag (or "possibly an annis"), Belkar uses a halfling rage jumping attack to achieve "Flawless Victory!" (although V disagrees)
177) The group debates whether the purple lizard is actually Vaarsuvius, and Belkar fails to learn anything by examining lizard anatomy ("Hey, it's making little lizardy noises!")
178) V the lizard reluctantly prepares the only non-somantic spells available, and Haley summons V's familiar, sending the lizard fleeing
179) Roy attempts to come clean with Belkar about there not being any giants guarding the starmetal, but it doesn't go as planned. ("I'm sorry, Roy, I just don't trust you enough to believe that you lied.")
180) The group climbs down into the starmetal meteor pit, aided by Elan's bard song and a timely (but overlooked) Feather Fall from V
181) OotS encounters magical darkness, and when she reaches the edge of it, Haley finds a black dragon waiting ("Walk, walk, walk through the slightly damp corridor!")
182) The dragon is easily prevailing in the fight when V discovers it can understand lizard speech. V's attempts to use "suggestion" repeatedly get interrupted by a dragon bite.
183) Haley's shot saves V from being dragon lunch, so she becomes the next victim. V's suggestion finally works. ("Vomit. Now. Aim for the halfling.")
184) After her close encounter with death, Haley decides to admit to Elan how she feels...until Durkon casts a healing spell. ("I'm in love with ukeleles.")
185) Held prisoner by the dragon, Elan tries to play "I spy" with Roy. ("Wow, Roy, you're not just psychic--you're a FUTURE psychic!")
186) Durkon dispels the spell on V, who finds the dragon no longer accepts commands. V uses Disintegrate instead, to impressive effect. ("Fascinating. I cannot help but notice that the disintegrated remains of a dragon are indistinguishable from those of a human, or a halfling, or a dwarf.")
187) Haley stumbles on an underwater passage that leads to the dragon's hoard. ("No talk! Ruining the moment.")
188) With Haley "indisposed," V and Durkon explain where the starmetal is. Roy goes to collect it, and is predictably disappointed.
189) Mysterious Cloaked Avenger finds the former bandit leaders and frees them, offering to partner with them to get OotS. Bandit leaders prove less cooperative, and suffer the consequences. ("The tragedy here is that this could have been avoided if I had just made a Gather Information check instead.")
190) Redcloak and Xykon the skull need to get through the Perilous Path of Crushing Doom. Redcloak decides to let the Hobgoblins scout ahead. ("*Sniff* My little Redcloak is all grown up.")
191) Xykon explains that the tower they are heading for will need to be cleared of monsters, which frightens the Thing in the Shadows. Xykon reassures him they will prevail. ("Hey, look. I just regenerated a finger. Guess which one.")
192) As predicted, the bad guys find a monster guarding the tower, but they figure out how the hobgoblins can solve the problem for them, with a little help from crackers. ("Sacrificing minions: is there any problem it CAN'T solve?")
193) Xykon is confronted by one of the "forces of Light" who asks him to change his ways. Instead, he changes her. ("Flying zombies! I can't believe I never thought of it before!")
194) The bad guys continue to clear out the tower, with the Thing in the Shadows scaring off the light archons by begging to be lit up. (With side Green Lantern reference)
195) Xykon and Redcloak recover the book that is the key to their overarching plotline--a diary of a halfling who knew someone important. ("Please! In the grand scheme of things, this book makes the "Tome of Clear Thoughts" look like "Dianetics.")
196) Xykon explains that the diary contains (in code) the location of the gates that are key to taking over the world, maybe the multiverse. ("What 'gate' do you guys keep talking about?")
197) Xykon and Redcloak discover exactly how many hobgoblins we're talking about. ("I think I just had an evilgasm.")
198) After weeks of delay (sprained wrist joke), OotS emerges from the pit with treasure and upgraded artwork. Elan takes up the kazoo.
199) Elan and Roy debate whether thunder is a dramatic cue or just a meteorological phenomenon. Roy is wrong.
200) The mysterious Blue Guy attacks! Durkon surrenders, V gets slimed, Haley smooches Elan, the Blue Guy is revealed to be the Blue Gal, and Roy gets smited.

201) The Sapphire Guard Girl's smite on Roy fails, Durkon explains Thor's message. ("Trust me, he's better off not knowing the truth")
202) Durkon and Roy have to explain to SGG why Roy showed up as evil, she scans the rest of the party ("Stop suppressing my culture, you ethnocentric bitch!")
203) More of the story is uncovered to SGG, queries of Elan's twin's crimes answered, queries of crimes against existance lead to the valley of Roy being really pissed... ("ELAN!!!!")
204) Roy and the rest of the party get into an argument about their next course of action, with V, Haley and belkar are on the side of attacking the samurai, who is now known as Miko. The word Bone is now used as a verb
205) Haley is upset due to Roys actions, Durkon convinces her otherwise by using the word "free"
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