Elthan stares down at the floor once more, dazed by the flurry of all too similar judgments. Why could they not see what he was doing? Why were they so focused on the minor consequences of his actions without seeing the entire picture? Certainly, there is a risk that losing a man on the front line of the fight might not be made up by what advancements in study he makes, but could they not see he was doing it for them?
"Khazrael," he says with his face still down, "I have no intention of excusing myself, or believe I can make you trust me for the short period you have traveled with us, but were we not heading to none other than a king? Did you believe that there could be no other positive attribute to rendering our message and aid to him than only stopping Sethra's front, that we could ask no favor?" Elthan looks up, clearly focused in question. He needs to make his point quick and clear.
"Comrades, I accept all the consequences because I know I can make the positive outweigh the negative. All that I have done I take only onto my shoulders so that you may receive the benefits. I want to see us stop Sethra at all cost of my own. There is no method I see not valid in achieving this goal, providing I continue to do my best not to allow any more of you to be further affected by my actions. I will gladly sacrifice any part of myself to bring this to an end.
"I cannot do much to reassure your trust in me, but if you look in my pack, you will find three books. In those is everything I have learned of the Shadow Weave. I have not changed by choosing this path, as those books will show. There is nothing but facts within."
Elthan points outside, to where his pack has been left in the snow. It is not too much of a stretch to suppose there is some arcane tome within.
(OOC: Plain black was getting hard to distinguish, so I picked a text. Also, I will post those books in the PC thread for those who decide to read them)