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    Jan 2007

    Default Re: Being nobody: Aquillion's guide to Commoners.

    Quote Originally Posted by douglas View Post
    No, no, no. Live chickens are the best commoner weapon. The build in that thread will need considerable improvement to take full advantage of the commoner's power, but the Chicken Infested "flaw" is an excellent advantage and no other class is allowed to take it.
    Oh, my. I can't believe I didn't know about that flaw... it really should be in the guide.

    For those who don't want to bother reading that thread, it's a Dragon Magazine flaw, available to commoners only, that works as follows:
    Chicken Infested: Whenever you draw a weapon or pull an item out of a countainer, you have a 50% chance of drawing a live chicken instead. No, we don't know where the chickens come from; it's your character.
    Now, open up the SRD and note the following. First, preparing spell materials -- which would involve drawing them from a spell component pouch -- is a free action:
    Unless these materials are elaborate preparing these materials is a free action. For material components and focuses whose costs are not listed, you can assume that you have them if you have your spell component pouch.
    And spell component pouches never run out of components. You don't actually need to be a caster; you can buy one cheap, even with your starting gold. Oh, and dropping an item is also a free action.

    You can see where this is going. A chicken-infested commoner with a spell component pouch can, therefore, produce an arbitrary number of chickens as a free action. Yeah, sure, unlimited gold by selling them, impressive party tricks... who cares.

    Now imagine your party is standing outside a dungeon, worried about what's inside. Before anyone can react, you've produced enough chickens to fill it to the bursting, until there's not enough room for anyone in there to breathe. Party being chased? Block off a hallway with chickens. Need battlefield alteration? Meet the new 'spell' my commoner can produce as a free action, which I call 'Wall of Chickens'.

    Need to cross a ravine or pit? Fill it with chickens. Need to check for traps? There aren't very many traps that won't go off when ten thousand chickens are stampeded over them.

    Team up with your wizard. The wizard uses Disintegrate to drop the BBEG in a pit, and you... bury them in chickens. Instantly.

    Set up a Teleportation Circle into the BBEG's base. Stand over it. Produce chickens until their base literally explodes.

    If you're ever in a situation where you can't survive, go for the broke and fill all of creation with chickens. Just imagine the reaction of people halfway around the world when every square inch of space in their world is suddenly and completely full of chickens.

    It hardly needs to be said, but your party never needs to worry about starving again.
    Last edited by Aquillion; 2008-05-21 at 01:43 AM.