Quote Originally Posted by Good Call
Dear Sirs,

I send this email to congratulate you on your wise decision regarding a recent attempted donation of over $17, 000 to your charity. I understand you refused this money, on the basis that it had been partly raised through actions related to Dungeons & Dragons. Although $17, 000 is not an inconsiderable sum, I feel the need to reassure you that your decision was the right one - as I am sure the starving children the money was meant for will agree.

Some of the so-called "gamers" who helped raise that money will likely protest, pointing out that this decision illustrates the moral ineptitude that seems to riddle the entirety of religion these days. You must not bow to this pressure! These people are, as we all know (courtesy of Jack Chick) devil worshipers and members of suicide cults. I allowed my teenaged son to pretend to be an elf with his for just a few hours, and when he returned he informed me that he had sold his soul to Satan. Just like heavy metal music, video games of any kind, and comic books, Dungeons & Dragons is a cancer of our society, and I am glad to see that this charity, at least, is upholding the moral standards of America.

The children who need that money? They'll understand. The moment elves got involved, that donation became dirtier than mob-money. The money was tainted with the stink of the devil, and I for one am glad you resisted the temptation to help others with it. Was it not Jesus who said "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."?

I understand another charity has since accepted the money with the goal of 'helping people' - a nauseating display of capitulation. Stay away from nerd-money, sirs. Our morals are just too precious to compromise by setting aside ridiculous prejudices in order to help people.

Yours respectfully,
Charles Raspin
Self-righteous jackasses.