Quote Originally Posted by Slayer Draco View Post
I tend to pop in here from time to time to vent. This is another one of those times.

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My life has become more stressful now that I'm home. Most of it seems to revolve around my father. For a very long time now (we're talking years), the most conversation I've ever gotten out of him is him lecturing me on this and that. "Keep your grades up" was the big one during high school. "College is important" popped up every now and then. Dunno why, because I actually looked forward to college, partly as an escape.

These days, it's "Get a job" and "Why aren't you going to church at school". The job one is worse. He hates that I'm being choosy. I admit, you really can't be too choosy in today's job market, but I want to have a job that I will enjoy to some extent. Working full time is unnecessary at the moment (he acts like I'm paying off my loans now, when this won't happen until I'm done with school. Saving is a good idea, and I plan to. But even if I work a full-time job, saving money after using it for other expenses won't amount to enough to pay off a couple years of school), and tends to drain me mentally. 20 hours a week seems fine to me, but to him I should be working close to 40. Work work work. It's all he really seems to care about.

The biggest reason why I don't want to work full time at this moment is because I don't want to end up like him in the future. He's always so concerned about work, and when I look at him, he never seems happy. I... don't want to be like that when I'm an adult. I want to enjoy life, not just worry about it all the time.

Another problem I have with him is that he never really seems concerned about me personally. Based on what he's said to me most of my life, he seems to care more about my success than me. Just take this past week for example. I've been ill since Saturday (if you haven't seen the tread asking for medical advice on the forums). Based on his actions, attitude, and what he's said, his response was "Suck it up". On Monday night, I woke up at 2 AM with abdominal pain and stomach upset so bad that I couldn't even sleep. That morning, due to the symptoms and the lack of sleep, I could barely get around the house. I called in to my work and left a message saying I was sick, and set up an appointment with my doctor. My dad was suspecting that I would do this, so he called that morning around the time that I would be at work. At that time, no one would be home, so I would give it away by answering it. I did the adult thing and picked up the phone. The very first words that came out of his mouth were "Why aren't you at work".

They say that parents nag and push you for success out of love, but I'm starting to have my doubts. In my opinion, he's driving me to be successful because I might possibly be the only one who will be. My brother has been struggling with grades, is rude to a lot of people (including my parents), and is generally a spoiled brat. One time, my mom and I were talking (don't remember what) and she finished one sentence with "if your brother goes to college." I inquired her about it, and she said that she had doubts whether or not my brother would be accepted anywhere. It's like they now consider him a lost cause, and now every ounce of responsibility is on me. I know it comes with being the eldest, but this seems overboard.

I dunno... I've been wanting to seek therapy for a while now, but my dad would probably get angry about that somehow too, saying that "I don't need it" or something. Even if he did let me go, he would want the "give it a name and a medication" treatment. I'll have to do it in secret if I want it at all.

*sigh* Though I had problems with college, it wasn't as bad as this. I miss it.


I thank anyone who took the time to read that. It's always nice when someone sits down and actually listens to someone else.

Your dad... Sounds exactly like my mum. Lol.

Bad-luck. I know how you feel.