Crack Pairings V - We Revel in Infamy

[ShinyDelusion]

Yay! New thread! So.

I was half asleep earlier today and was thinking about this thread and Coffee's comic (I don't know when I started thinking/dreaming about the Crack Pairing thread in bed, and I'd rather not contemplate the implications...) and I remembered someone asking why Matt wanted to stay out of Maximum Security (or whatever it was called if I'm remembering that wrong) aside from the fact it was Maximum Security. (Before I forget, speaking of Coffee's comic, I literally lol'd at your fan comic, Discord.) Then for some reason I imagined a Maximum Security that every criminal avoids at all costs, for its only occupant is a mass murderer halfling who has been alone so long (having quickly stabbed and beheaded any cell mates) that he's snapped and begun talking to the aforementioned severed heads, even affectionately petting one and calling it "Mr. Scruffy". Matt was thrown into Maximum Security for an hour once. First the halfling began ranting about what an obvious disguise "you androgynous twit" was wearing just to come in and gloat over him but then things got far more alarming when he started coming at him grinning maniacally and saying something along the lines of, "You know what happens to pretty, purple-haired, elves is prison?"

I'll admit, I did consider keeping this thought to myself, but, then I thought about how I would feel if something I'd written had inspired a zany, slightly disturbing, crossover crack pairing, so I figured Coffee wouldn't mind.

If only I could figure out how Belkar ended up there in the first place, I could almost write the fic...

Lass, ye need to respect yet body.
Julia: Teach me, you Dwarf!

Yes. This simply must be written.