Yet another annoying floor. The final stretch of the game sure can be taxing.

Let's Play Labyrinth of Touhou - Chapter 24

Ugh...I was wondering which poor sap was going to get stuck narrating with you.

Oh now, don't be like that! After all we've been through, don't you think we've grown so much closer than the others?

What do you mean by that?

Remember that time years ago, when I intruded upon your home in Makai, committed mass genocide, and stole the ultimate power? Those were the days...

I have no idea what you're talking about. Is this another one of your lies?

Of course not~

Whatever. Let's just get this over with so we don't have to spend any more time together than we have to.

What an interesting name for a floor.

Yes, it's absolutely ripe for obvious references. Why am I not surprised?

The last floor was an utter nightmare to navigate. What are the chances that this one would be just as bad?

Oh, I'm positive that this floor shall be much easier to solve.


Of course not, dear.

Right, I have to remember to always assume the opposite of what you say...

So what's the implement of our torment this time? Winding mazes? Switch puzzles? Even more teleporters?

Looks like one-way corridors.

A lot of one-way corridors.

Oh, fantastic! So this time not only do I get to walk down narrow passages with a psychopathic youkai casually following behind me, but I get to accidentally backtrack a few dozen times as well? What could be better?

Why, I'm so glad you asked! Personally, my favorite part of visiting new places is discovering new creatures to play with.

Really? If I were a monster, I think I'd rather play with Flandre than with you. That would give me a slightly lower chance of dismemberment.

You know, I could use a pet guard dog or something. I haven't seen my old gatekeeper in ages...

Huh? You used to have one?

What do you think of this fellow? Very high defenses, and can hit harder than a truck, assuming Gensokyo residents know what a truck is.

Or what about these little guys? Not only do they have immense stamina, but they can level entire hills with their playful romps.

How can you be so cheerful describing how our enemies plan on destroying us?

Oh, but I haven't even gotten to my favorite ones yet! Big beefy guard dogs may be passable, but the best pets of all are those that make any intruder's skin crawl with horror. For example, do you know "The Black Ram of The Forest With A Thousand Ewe"?

Huh, and here I thought "Wonderful Shrine Maiden of Paradise" was a mouthful.

It's the ancient abomination of Shub-Niggurath, a grotesque embodiment of evil. An old acquaintance of mine, if I recall correctly.

Do you honestly expect me to believe that?

Do you?


The unholy spawn of Shub-Niggurath would make such amazing pets! Just imagine! A hideous mass of writhing tentacles protruding from a giant sac of eyeballs, reaching out and consuming your body and soul, sucking you into its dark and terrible abyss...

OK, can we PLEASE change the subject? You're making me even more uncomfortable than I ever thought you could.

And you call yourself a youkai mage? What kind of coward are you?

Look, there's a suspicious-looking teleporter. With any luck, it'll lead us to the exit. So can we just shut up and end this already?

Yeah...I think deep down, even I knew it was too good to be true.

Looks like we still have the pleasure of enjoying each other's company for a little while longer.

Someone please kill me now.

Maybe as we stroll through this familiar-looking corridor for the 17th time, we ought to consider what our inevitable and fast-approaching confrontation with the arrogant shopkeeper would mean?

As bizarre as that sounded, I think that's the closest you've gotten today to a normal conversation.

We now know that he plans to isolate Gensokyo even further with the Sealed Chamber spell after this is all over, but how is he planning to resolve this incident in the first place? Defeating Yukari didn't change a thing, so she can't be the one sustaining this place, no?

He may know something we don't about this incident, perhaps something about the humans from the outside world. Although, given his power trip, I don't think it'd be wise to let him deal with the humans alone.

Why not? I don't see why we can't let him resolve the incident for us.

I'm just afraid he'd be less merciful to the culprit than we would. Not all of us are bloodthirsty monsters like you, you know. At any rate, we still need to stop him from casting the Sealed Chamber spell.

We do?

Of course! Now quit freaking me out and help me decide where to go!

Actually, I was just considering how convenient it would be for Rinnosuke to complete the spell.

Huh? You're serious?

Imagine a Gensokyo free from conflict with the Lunar capital, with no more interruptions from Makai, and no further intruding mansions and shrines from the outside world. No more upstart newcomers to disturb my garden! Would that not be desirable?

You're...lying, right?

Hmm, maybe I should "accidentally" mis-aim Master Spark when we confront him...

Maybe you should just stay back at the mansion...

Oh, you actually believed me there?

Not saying I did, but...

How amusing! Well, I'll let you decide what was truth and what wasn't.

Reimu! Here, take the completed map! Now just let me go already! I can't stand this anymore!

Aww...and here I thought we were becoming such good friends.

~ Yuka Kazami

~ Alice Margatroid