I give you.....

the first installment of gohk and grok

its REALLY long so heads up

*slight note: Grok is not a typical DnD ogre, he, and his clerical counterpart Torg, are drawn almost exclusively from Warhammer Fantasy fluff, as such, Grok stands slightly taller, and MUCH MUCH heavier, than the typical ogre
also, he worships "the great maw" an ogre diety of hunger who is worshipped by killing and eating.


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The first installment, of gohk and grok

Gohk and grok… are an odd pair to say the least. Gohk is a gnome paladin, a paladin who’s quite full of himself in fact, he swaggers about wherever he goes. (this may have been what caused him to land his current and ongoing assignment) that assignment being ‘babysitting’ the city’s resident Ogre, grok. Grok, is unique amongst the ogres, he was found in the woods as a child by a grey render, and was raised/protected by it. From the grey render, Grok learned protective behavior and the ability to latch onto someone in a (mostly) beneficial way. Many years ago, a wizard of the city encountered the grey render, it had been wounded and grok, still rather young at the time, was picked up by the wizard and led back to the city, the wizard felt that grok’s protective and slightly un ogrery nature could be cultivated and put to use for the city… several years have passed since this time.

Since being brought to the city, grok has become a … if not ‘loved’, at least ‘usually likeable’ fact of life for the towns people, he has been trained not to eat the average citizen (at least not without permission) and has also learned (sorta) to keep the amount of collateral damage down, however, whenever he becomes excited, he still has a tendency to knock over buildings.

The leadership of the city has put grok to use in several official functions, including as a method of public execution against those guilty of treason, or monsters that attempted to attack/invade the city. He also makes an excellent detterent against invasion from other cities/nations. As he is turned into a living warmachine during times of war, often carrying a ballista and a great mattock capable of tearing down the mightiest of fortresses, however, it is expensive to maintain Grok’s wartime equipment, so he usually only travels with a great Morningstar and a battle axe. Grok is fanaticaly loyal to his ‘friendly little talky men’ and the city as a whole, it is his home. It also fulfills the habit he picked up from his surrogate grey render parent, he has something to protect, and will violently maim, kill and eat (not necessarily in that order) anything that threatens it..

All this being said, Grok isn’t an ‘evil’ person, or creature, he simply follows his natural inclinations to worship his chosen diety, and to assuage his eternal hunger. He’s not even that dangerous to have around…. Provided of course, that he’s pointed safely at enemy lines. (all those banners and colors confuse grok sometimes, and he doesn’t recognize every soldier in the city on sight)

Our narrative picks up with gohk and grok being summoned by the ruler of the city, to follow up on rumors he has heard about an approaching orc army…..


THUMP THUMP THUMP!!! THUMP THUMP THUMP!!!
Gohk groaned and rolled over, trying to blot out the noise, Grok, as usual, snored on, ignoring the discomfort. THUMP THUMP THUMP!!! A man standing outside the door yells “Ghok!, the count wants to see you and Grok Immiedietly!!! THUMP THUMP THUMP. Groaning in complaint, ghok rolls off the bed and, for the 30th time, forgets he has the top bunk, and crashes to the ground, after bouncing of Grok’s belly, finally wakening him. Grok struggles to his feet, demolishing the bed in doing so (after having this happen the 5th time, the royal carpenter/masons came up with a bed designed to break in sections, so that it could easily be repaired, and yet sturdy enough to hold the emmense ogre). After struggling from his undignified heap on the floor, Gohk looks up at Grok and says “well com’on then Grok, mister big man in charge wants to see us.” With a rumbling voice like boulders down a mountain top, grok replies “fancy talky man need grok?” scratching his huge gut absently. “yes grok, Fancy talky man needs to see us”. Gohk then turns on his heel and swaggers from the room, followed by the thundering footsteps of his half ton companion.

After arriving at the “Head Talky Man”s court, Rosenthal, informs them of the rumours his scouts and rangers have been bringing him, an orc army may be on the move in this direction, but he needs confirmation, and gohk and grok are just the two people that can get close enough to the hoarde to confirm this, whilst still escaping with their lives. ‘before you leave’ Rosenthal says, ‘I need you to fetch me noble Richards, he and I- Rosenthal is cut off by Grok standing up straighter and bellowing “GROK FETCH TALKY MAN” and bolting from the room, causing a resounding BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! Throughout the castle. – grok no wait! The entire court cries

But it is far to late, grok is very enthusiastic and already out of range of their cries, with an exasperated sigh, Gohk begins to swagger as quickly as possible after his companion, but realizing Grok will be back before he makes it to the front gates, he comes to a stop and gives the king an apologetic shrug.

Meanwhile, out in the city streets
BOOM BOOM BOOM, everybody in this section of town is familiar with the signs of an impending enthusicastic ogre, and quickly scurry out of the way. Grok thunders through the merchant quarter and into the nobles quarter, where he quickly locates the Richards household… and begins the process of retrieving noble Richard… by promptly smashing down a good segment of the first floor wall. he finds Noble Richard in his living room, (which was thankfully, just next to the room demolished by Grok)
Grok informs Noble Richards (and most of the surrounding countryside) “FANCY TALKY MAN WANT TO TALK TO TALKY MAN, TALKY MAN COME WITH GROK” so saying he (VERY GENTLY) picks up noble Richards, and begins his thundering path back to the king’s court….

BOOM BOOM BOOM!!!
Grok thunders through the castle, making his way back to the throne room. Upon his arrival grok sets down noble Richards very gently and announces to the court, in a voice like rumbling thunder “grok fetch little talky man!” and then moves off to the back of the room, and begins adjusting the straps holding the giant metal plate over his gut. With a rather chagrined look, Rosenthal asks noble Richards “how much this time?” with a rather bemused expression upon his face, Richards replies “not much milord, only the front wall this time, a major improvement if I say so myself”.
The talky men then began to discuss matters of state, and Grok quickly stopped paying attention, only devoting enough of his mind to recognize hearing his name, and otherwise thinking about how hungry he is.

After a few moments, Gohk appears in the door way and beckons grok to come with him… they proceed back to their room, where Gohk instructs Grok to grab all his “worshiping things” and come with him. They have orcs to kill…..



next time, I'll cover the 2nd half of this installment, the fight with the orcs. or "gnomes with lances make excellent guided javelins"