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Thread: D&D Snippets

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    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Machuchang's Avatar

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    Quote Originally Posted by Quincunx View Post
    Valentine's Day
    [SIZE="1"]originally posted here
    Oh man...

    That was glorious! Short, but filled with impact, and incredibly hilarious. I love the narrator's attitude, naughty, witty, and slightly sardonic. I'm also amazed at how much detail you were able to evoke with just a few carefully placed details, without ever being explicit, and I just can't help but wonder what happened afterwards. Besides that, I derived a whole lot of schadenfreude from that poor paladin's position, and now I feel I little bad. Fantastic work.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lady Moreta View Post
    How Lyra Met Ket'Thull
    from Lyra's point of view
    Thank you!

    That one was excellent! I really loved being able to see things even more from Lyra's perspective, and I just loved how prominent her spunky personality was. You also did an excellent job with her hiding things from the reader, whether successfully or not, which added another dimension to the story for me. This one also met the 'awwww...' bar quite nicely, with her actions towards the children. But now you've got me wondering what happened to Garret and why Lyra is afraid of paladins! Lyra is really a fascinating character, and I just love getting into her head. Keep up the good work.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lady Moreta View Post
    Baby Fix
    Now if How Lyra Met Ket'Thull from Lyra's point of view met the 'awwww...' bar, this story broke the bar, then kept rising until it went back around to hit the bar again. And yes, I do realize that is not physically possible, and probably not theoretically possible either, but oh well. Great job! I really admired how you managed to tie in the mystery of Silver's daughter all the way back with Why Girls Shouldn't Kiss, and I just keep getting more and more sucked in by Silver's past and the world she lives in.

    I am curious who the mother of Tella is though, and I couldn't help but wonder if the Terryn that Silver knew happened to be the same Terryn that Lyra mentioned in her snippet...


    And I've got another snippet. I tried to write the set up for it, but it just didn't flow well and it fell into too many of the issues I had with Defiance. But basically what happened is that Varen fought a half-orange dragon gargantuan amphibious aboleth that was living in the magic lake, fell for some illusions, got slammed into the floor, slapped, scratched, exploded, lit on fire, crippled, slammed into the floor again, eaten, and shredded before cutting his way out of the aboleth's throat, killing it. Then Natalia drank from the magical lake...

    Old Scars Never Heal
    Spoiler
    Show
    The first thing I saw was Varen.

    He was covered in grime, slime, ash, sweat and blood. He could barely stand at all, and he was leaning heavily on his longsword. His armor appeared to have been torn off by some sort of explosion, revealing his torso and arms. I was shocked and dismayed at what I saw.

    Countless fresh slashes, bruises, and burns were spread all over his body, and blood was flowing freely from his mouth. I could even see pieces of shrapnel from his armor embedded in his flesh. But beneath all of that, there was so much worse.

    Scars. Hideous scars that could only have been from torture. Lash marks, stab wounds, flensed skin, rope burns, he had them all. And they were everywhere. From what I could see, only his face had been left untouched.


    Those were Crownbreaker methods.


    I found myself overwhelmed by a flood of emotions. Shock, rage, and frustration fogged my mind. I felt horrible.

    And then he smiled.

    I couldn’t stand it. How could he still smile after all of that? After the aboleth, after the torture, after everything? I just couldn’t stand it!

    I hit him.

    I slammed my fist into his cheek. Probably not the smartest move given his current condition, but I wasn’t thinking straight. He hit the ground and stared at up me, a stunned expression on his face. He didn’t even have any idea that something was wrong. Even though I knew that he couldn’t have known, at that moment, it didn’t matter.

    “GODS DAMN YOU!” I screamed at him. “GODS DAMN YOU, VAREN!”

    “Tali?” he sounded concerned. Concerned for me still. I had just hit him, and he was still worrying about me! “Is everything all right?”

    “NO!” How could he not understand? “LOOK AT YOURSELF! LOOK AT YOUR WOUNDS! LOOK AT THOSE DAMN SCARS! IS THAT WHAT HAS BEEN HAPPENING TO YOU? HAS ALL OF THAT BEEN FOR ME?”

    “Yes,” he said as he struggled back to his feet. And he said it so simply too. As though everything that had been done to him didn’t matter in the slightest. That just made me angrier.

    “WHY?!” my voice echoed throughout the cavern. “Gods, Varen… Why? Why did you let that happen because of me? Why didn’t you just give up?” Why was I starting to cry now? Gods damn him…

    Varen gently grasped my hand and stared me straight in the eyes. .

    “Why?” he was so weak that he had to lean against me just to remain upright. “Because through it all, through all the pain, through all the fear, I kept telling myself that I would be there for you. That I had to be there. And when compared to that, all of that pain and that fear didn’t mean anything to me anymore, because I knew that nothing would stop me from getting to you,”

    I was crying harder now.

    “If you keep this up, you’re going to die you idiot! Then what? I don’t want you getting hurt over me!” I tried to choke back my sobs. “I don’t want you getting hurt ever!


    "Dammit Varen, I love you!”



    Quote Originally Posted by Lady Moreta View Post
    Viol then. Or Byzantine lyra (I am going to keep guessing until I get it right... perhaps you should just tell us).
    I don't think I'll reveal the Blue Bard's instrument just yet. I'm positive someone will figure it out soon...

    Though I'll give another hint. It's not bowed.
    Last edited by Machuchang; 2011-04-17 at 12:34 PM.