Gazebo Jones
Warforged Monk 2/Fighter 4/Thrall of Jubilex 4/Drunken Master 10
SHARN
DOWNTOWN
12:46 PM
The Captain of the Guard looked up with a grimace as one of his junior investigators joined him on the muddy streets of Sharn's most crowded intersection. The investigator stopped at the doorway of the carriage, his jaw open in shock. 'Newbies,' the chief thought with disgust.
"What's the matter, Malone? Never seen a crime scene before?" he asked, taking a puff from his cigar as he shielded it with one hand. The rain continued to pour down in an unending torrent. It was going to be a long night.
"What happened here, captain? It looks like my last stag party gone horribly, horribly wrong!" The captain winced, but Malone was pretty damn close to the mark. The inside of the carriage was covered in blood and filled with unrecognizable gore - presumably from D.A. Thompson, last seen entering the carriage only twenty minutes ago. Mixed in with the gore was broken glass and the pervasive smell of strong alcohol.
"Not sure. Thompson got into the carriage, then the curtains closed and witnesses heard a scream. Driver was over at the tavern, taking a leak. Nobody seen entering or exiting, and no teleportation or invisibility in the area. Carriage has some magic on it - probably standard weather-proofing."
Malone walked over to the carriage and hopped inside, ignoring the mess.
"Hey captain, there's something in this cup - it's -it's.." His face poked out of the carriage a moment later, a look of confusion evident.
"It's a jello shot!"
The captain's face turned ashen gray.
"Malone! Malone, for Shaavarath's sake get out of there! Now!"
Malone dropped the cup in panic.
"What? Is it poisoned? Or..." Before he could finish the sentence, the door of the carriage slammed itself shut! An inhuman scream came from inside, and blood came flying out the windows. The carriage lurched two of its wheels into the air and sped into the alleyway, careening past a grocer's stall.
"Damn it!" The captain fumbled with his crossbow, cursing the rain for tightening the strings. His shot went wide, barely clipping the edge of the carriage. The carriage turned at a near-impossible 90 degree angle, and then sped right at him! The collision lifted the captain straight into the air and into the wall.
"i'm so sorry captain. did i hurt you? it was all part of my little game with the d.a. hey, what's that in your pocket?" The voice was childlike, hollow and mechanical, as if a wind-up doll were speaking from inside a deep cave.
In front of the captain's eyes, the carriage began to transform - wheels folding in on themselves and the insides collapsing. Within moments, the carriage was replaced by a large girl's closet, resplendent in baby pink and complete with a clawed pseudodragon-motiff latch. He saw it come closer and felt the clawed latch briefly tug at his vest.
"ooh, brandy. you always had good taste captain. sluuuuuurp. well, until next time...up, up..." As he watched, the closet shifted once more, growing taller and taller and thinner. Within moments, the cabinet had been replaced by a fireman's ladder, swaying tipsily in the wind.
"and away!" came the last taunt from the childlike voice, as the bottom of the ladder receded, quickly disappearing up the side of the building. The other members of the City Watch came running up to the captain.
"Captain! Are you all right?"
"Get the mayor on the line, now! We've got trouble...Gazebo Jones has broken out of Statesville Prison and is on the loose!"
PRISONER PROFILE: UNIT 87147, alias GAZEBO JONES
SECRET///NOFORN
DECLASS: 2456
DESC: Thin warforged, coloration green from self-inflicted rust. Secretes strange slimy substance - possible result of an internal mechanism breakdown? Creation date unknown.
TESTIMONY: Prisoner stated that he was once a non-sentient battle-bot at the King's Citadel. He fell into disrepair and was deemed hopeless, then abandoned at a slag heap. After this point the prisoner's testimony became incoherent or delusional. The prisoner claims that "highly alcoholic radioactive slime" dripped on him, giving him sentience and strange powers that require constant inebriation to maintain. The prisoner repeatedly thanked "Saint Jubilex" for its powers and stated that it could not have learned its new abilities without the aid of Saint Jubilex and its drinking buddies, who 'inducted' him into their secret society in a combination of bar-hopping and unholy rituals. The prisoner stated that since gaining sentience it has sought to explore every pleasurable experience it could, and listed bar fights and inebriation as its chief two pleasures...after murder.
CRIMES: Murder, Attempted Murder, Murder in the Second Degree, Assault, Driving While Under the Influence of Alcohol, Public Inebriation. Convicted and sentenced following the murder of seventeen persons at the Boorish Owlbear Alehouse.
SENTENCE: 200 years without parole
WARNING: Prisoner has the ability to transform at will into any object between the size of a briefcase and a gazebo. Do not enter prisoner's cell alone!
Gazebo Jones
Warforged Monk 2/Fighter 4/Thrall of Jubilex 4/Drunken Master 10
Q: Who is Gazebo Jones?
A: He is a monk/drunken master who can transform into any small to large-sized object and then kill people as that object. Ever wanted to beat people to death as a hat-rack? Now you can.
Q: How does he do that??
A:
1. Thrall of Jubilex 4 grants Alter Self into 4HD forms at will.
2. As a warforged, Gazebo can use Alter Self to transform into other constructs, including animated objects up to Large size.
3. Drunken Master gains +1d4/1d8/1d12 damage when using improvised weapons. According to C. Warrior (Pg. 158), common tools can be used to do awesome stunts - a ladder can be used to trip people ala Jackie Chan, while a tapestry can trip - these are physical properties of the items that provide these bonuses. Alter Self gives you the basic physical properties of whatever you transform into. A monk is proficient with his body as both a natural and a manufactured weapon.
4. Combine all of the above, and you have a drunken pogo stick hopping on the body of its latest victim.
5. Because no drunken master build would be complete without a wide repertoire of combat options, Gazebo has Improved Overrun, Improved Bull Rush, Improved Grapple, Improved Sunder, Shock Trooper, and Combat Brute, along with a high BAB and natural strength
Q: Do improvised weapons REALLY work that way?
A: Well, we have 2+ pages arguing over the poorly written improvised weapons rules, including that drunken masters apparently still suffer -4 to attacks with them and that they provide opponents with a bonus to their disarm attempts. At this point I think there is only one rule that matters for a Drunken Master, and that is the
rule of cool. Is it awesome to turn into a chair and disarm somebody with yourself? Is it something a drunken master would do? Do the rules appear to support it? I think the answer to all 3 is yes.
Character roles: Tank, Assassin, Crowd Control. Gazebo has superb saving throws and decent HP, so he can take hits for a party. Assassin: Nobody ever suspected their sock drawer of jumping up and stabbing them in the gut. Finally, like any self-respecting melee fighter, he has a variety of combat options to lock down opponents.
Sources: 3
Eberron CS (Warforged)
Complete Warrior (Drunken Master, Warshaper, Shock Trooper, Combat Brute, improvised weapons)
Book of Vile Darkness (Thrall of Jubilex, Thrall to Demon, Willing Deformity)
Gazebo Jones
Warforged Monk 2/Fighter 4/Thrall of Jubilex 4/Drunken Master 10
BAB +16, 8d10/12d8 HD
Base Attributes (32 PB):
Str: 16
Dex: 12
Con: 16
Int: 10
Wis: 14
Cha: 8
*Raise Str/Con with levels
Level progression chart:
Spoiler
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NAME OF ENTRY
{table=head]
Level|
Class|
Base Attack<br>Bonus|
Fort Save|
Ref Save|
Will Save|
Skills|
Feats|
Class Features
1st|Monk 1|
+0
|
+2
|
+2
|
+2
|4R: Escape Artist, 4R: Tumble, 4R: Any 2 other skills|Willing Deformity, Improved Grapple [Monk 1], Improved Unarmed Strike [Monk 1]|Flurry of Blows, AC bonus
2nd|Monk 2|
+1
|
+3
|
+3
|
+3
|+1R: Escape Artist, Tumble, Any 2 other skills|Deflect Arrows [Monk 2]|Evasion
3rd|Monk 2/Fighter 1|
+2
|
+5
|
+3
|
+3
|+1R cross-class: Tumble|Dodge [Ftr 3], Thrall to Demon|Bonus Feat
4th|Monk 2/Fighter 2|
+3
|
+6
|
+3
|
+3
|+1R cross-class: Tumble|Power Attack| Bonus Feat
5th|Monk 2/Fighter 2/Thrall 1|
+4
|
+8
|
+5
|
+5
|+1R cross-class: Tumble|-|Sickening Slime
6th|Monk 2/Fighter 2/Thrall 2|
+5
|
+9
|
+6
|
+6
|+2R: Any 2 skills|Great Fortitude|Corrosive Touch
7th|Monk 2/Fighter 2/Thrall 3 |
+6
|
+9
|
+6
|
+6
|+2R: Any 2 skills|-|Summon Ooze
8th|Monk 2/Fighter 2/Thrall 4 |
+7
|
+10
|
+7
|
+7
|+2R: Any 2 skills|-|Alter Self at will, Contagion 1/day
9th|Monk 2/Fighter 2/Thrall 4/Drunken Master 1|
+7
|
+12
|
+9
|
+7
|Any 4 class skills|Improved Bull Rush|Drink, improvised weapons
10th|Monk 2/Fighter 2/Thrall 4/Drunken Master 2|
+8
|
+13
|
+10
|
+7
|Any 4 class skills|-|Stagger
11th|Monk 2/Fighter 2/Thrall 4/Drunken Master 3|
+9
|
+13
|
+10
|
+8
|Any 4 class skills|-|Swaying Waist
12th|Monk 2/Fighter 2/Thrall 4/Drunken Master 4|
+9
|
+14
|
+11
|
+8
|Any 4 class skills|Improved Sunder|Improved improv. weapons
13th|Monk 2/Fighter 2/Thrall 4/Drunken Master 5|
+10
|
+14
|
+11
|
+8
|Any 4 class skills|-|Greater improvised weapons
14th|Monk 2/Fighter 2/Thrall 4/Drunken Master 6|
+11
|
+15
|
+12
|
+9
|Any 4 class skills|Improved Feint [B]|Bonus Feat
15th|Monk 2/Fighter 2/Thrall 4/Drunken Master 7|
+12
|
+15
|
+12
|
+9
|Any 4 class skills|Combat Brute, Improved Grapple [B]| Bonus Feat
16th|Monk 2/Fighter 2/Thrall 4/Drunken Master 8|
+12
|
+16
|
+13
|
+9
|Any 4 class skills|-|For Medicinal Purposes
17th|Monk 2/Fighter 2/Thrall 4/Drunken Master 9|
+13
|
+16
|
+13
|
+10
|Any 4 class skills|-|AC +2, Corkscrew Rush, superior improv. weapons
18th|Monk 2/Fighter 2/Thrall 4/Drunken Master 10|
+14
|
+17
|
+14
|
+10
|Any 4 class skills|Shock Trooper|Breath of Flame
19th|Monk 2/Fighter 3/Thrall 4/Drunken Master 10|
+15
|
+17
|
+15
|
+11
|Any 2 class skills|-|
20th|Monk 2/Fighter 4/Thrall 4/Drunken Master 10|
+16
|
+17
|
+15
|
+11
|Any 2 class skills|Improved Overrun|Bonus Feat[/table]
Spoiler
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Combat benefits from improvised weapons:
+1d12 damage to your unarmed attacks [any improvised weapons]
+4 to AC if somebody uses you as a tower shield {table, chest]
+2 to disarm attempts with things that catch weapons [chair, wagon wheel]
+2 to to bullrush attempts [chariot, carriage, wheeled table]
2x natural reach [ladder, flagpole]
Entangle opponents (as with Tanglebag) [Carpet, tapestry]
Mobility options with Alter Self:
Land speed: 70ft movement speed as a go-cart or other small or medium wheeled object
Flight: Up to 40ft as a kite or similar sheet-like
Swim: Up to 40ft as a wooden object like a raft or wheelboat
Climb: Up to 20ft as a chain ladder or similar object
Combat options:
1. Charge. With swagger you can change directions and make an easy tumble check not to provoke AOO's. You can reduce your AC for power attack (Shock Trooper), and gain a free bull rush at the end of the charge (Drunken Master 9). You can direct this bull rush in diagonal directions (Shock Trooper) and knock opponents into other opponents for free trip attempts (Shock Trooper). The following round, your power attack adds more damage (Combat Brute), and you gain +1 Attack/Damage for every square you pushed opponents (Combat Brute). These are all common melee optimization tricks, but quite fun in practice.
2. Full attack routine: BAB of +16/+11/+6/+1 and +11 Slam. Any of these can be substituted with a grapple check or sunder attempt.
3. Sunder. An animated object can be of any non-magical material, so you could be a giant adamantine saw if you wanted. Aim for spell components and holy symbols. If you sunder a shield or weapon, however, you can then cleave into a person with Combat Brute.
4. Grapple. The staple of monk builds everywhere - use it to lock down a single dangerous foe.
5. Improved Overrun. Turn into a carriage and send opponents running for their lives!
6. Poisons! You're a construct, poison doesn't hurt you. Feel free to slather some onto your fists or spikes or whatever. Ability damage is snazzy!
7. Summon oozes! Weird, but true - you can summon ochre jelly, gelatinous cubes, gray ooze, and green slimes at-will for 4 rounds per summon. You could just sit in the middle of the bar, pretending to be a normal chair, while green slimes and gelatinous cubes randomly spawn within a 30ft radius. Hilarity ensues!
8. Weird stuff. You can breathe fire from Drunken Master 10, spread Contagion 1/day, add 2d6 acid damage on your fists 3/day, and heal yourself 3/day. Whenever you suspect a fight is about to begin, then break out the jello shots and start slurping them down to "buff up" with +2 Str/Con per move action.
Core suggested equipment: Spoiler
Show
You can't use most equipment as an animated object (I guess a hat-rack could wear a hat...), however you retain your base ability scores, so the various tomes are of great value to you. Otherwise common monk items are recommended, plus lots of room to hold your liquor.
Tomes of stat boosts, Necklace +5, Monk's Belt, Cloak of Displacement, Vest of Resistance, All Stat Boost items, Helm of Teleportation, Handy Haversack, Decanter of Endless Water (make an ale version if possible), Ring of Freedom of Movement
Non-core additions that would be cool to have:
Everful Mug (MIC), Necklace of Natural Attacks (SS), That Ring From Dragon Magic (DM), Monk's Tattoo (FR), Warfist (EBCS), Belt of Magnificence (CMinis), Sparring Dummy of the Master (A&EG)
Spoiler
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Warforged Monk 2/Psywarr 5/Thrall of Jubilex 4/Drunken Master 9 - with Tashlatora, trades fighter BAB for more monk damage and some great powers like Expansion
Warforged Monk 2/Fighter 2/Thrall of Jubilex 4/Drunken Master 9/Warshaper 3 - doesn't qualify for Warshaper by RAW, but I think most DMs would allow it
Warforged Monk 2/Fighter 2/Thrall of Jubilex 4/Drunken Master 9/Crusader or Warblade 2 - A slightly cheesier "capstone" choice than continuing fighter, you can pick up some solid maneuvers this way
Warforged Monk 2/Fighter 2/Thrall of Jubilex 4/Drunken Master 9/Lion Totem Barbarian 2 - Gets pounce and rage, both nice "capstones" to any melee build
Alternative feats: Snap Kick, Superior Unarmed Strike, Improved Natural Attack - options to build for damage rather than versatility
With skill tricks: grab the two that let you stand from prone to recover from failed bull rush attempts, Twisted Charge for a possible second turn on a charge attack
Originally Posted by Gazebo Jones
Gazebo Jones
Re: Iron Chef Optimization Challenge XV
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