The Order of the Stick: Utterly Dwarfed
The Order of the Stick: Utterly Dwarfed - Coming in December and available for pre-order now
Page 1 of 8 12345678 LastLast
Results 1 to 30 of 236
  1. - Top - End - #1
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    BlackDragon

    Join Date
    Aug 2008

    Default Implausible and idiotic D&D weapons

    So this thread is for pointing out any weapns which simply dont make sense

    I call Orc Double Axe and Dire Mace both for very similar reasons.
    In order to strike with an axe or a mace effectively you need strenght in your strike. It is only achievable by wide movement. You cannot thrust with it so you simply cannot generate the energy of movement without decapitating yourself mid-strike. Dire Mace has much the same problems. Any more desing brainfarts that no-one would actually use?
    Frog in the playground.

    My homebrewer's extended signature.

    I have Str 5!

    Quote Originally Posted by BobVosh View Post
    Wall of text attacks! CRITS!

  2. - Top - End - #2
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Whiplord's Avatar

    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Land of Frostbite

    Default Re: Implausible and idiotic D&D weapons

    Dire Flail.
    Avatar by rtg0922! <3

    Eclipse, Servant of the Dark God. Servants of the Fallen
    Necrosis
    , True Necromancer, Unbound
    Xxzyx
    , Impure Prince, Seas of Change, Winds of Fate
    Quintillius, Paladin of the Red Knight, Run to the North

  3. - Top - End - #3
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    BlackDragon

    Join Date
    Aug 2008

    Default Re: Implausible and idiotic D&D weapons

    Yeah that's even worse than my examples.
    Frog in the playground.

    My homebrewer's extended signature.

    I have Str 5!

    Quote Originally Posted by BobVosh View Post
    Wall of text attacks! CRITS!

  4. - Top - End - #4
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Raging Gene Ray's Avatar

    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    The Blessed Geometry
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Implausible and idiotic D&D weapons

    Throwing glass bottles of Holy Water/Acid/Alchemist's Fire like grenades. It just seems like they wouldn't always break or splash as much as the rules say. Shouldn't they be dealing slashing/piercing damage from the shattered glass, anyhow?

  5. - Top - End - #5
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Starbuck_II's Avatar

    Join Date
    May 2004
    Location
    Enterprise, Alabama
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Implausible and idiotic D&D weapons

    In D&D, the Sai. A weapon designed for disarming but worse than every other weapon that a Monk can use.

    Really, who makes a disarming light weapon that only grants +4 bonus? It will only negate the -4 for being light.

    Might as well use a Quarterstaff (+4 for being 2 handed and no penalty).

  6. - Top - End - #6
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    Spiryt's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Poland
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Implausible and idiotic D&D weapons

    Your description is very vague, as there are many more important reasons why dire mace or axe don't make sense - like the fact that the very soil of mace or axe is mass concentrated on the end... Not on both ends.

    Anyway, warhammer and greataxe don't have any sense drawn as in Players Handbook.
    Avatar by Kwarkpudding
    The subtle tongue, the sophist guile, they fail when the broadswords sing;
    Rush in and die, dogs—I was a man before I was a king.

    Whoever makes shoddy beer, shall be thrown into manure - town law from Gdańsk, XIth century.

  7. - Top - End - #7

    Default Re: Implausible and idiotic D&D weapons

    Spiked chain and any double ended weapons. Aside from staves. The others are just absurd. Oh and the sling being a simple weapon. Slings are anything but simple to use.

    TS

  8. - Top - End - #8
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Siosilvar's Avatar

    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    USA
    Gender
    Intersex

    Default Re: Implausible and idiotic D&D weapons

    Quote Originally Posted by Tequila Sunrise View Post
    Spiked chain
    Has a better picture in the back of Complete Warrior, but still is ridiculous.
    ze/zir | she/her

    Omnia Vincit Amor

  9. - Top - End - #9
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Tengu_temp's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    Poland
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Implausible and idiotic D&D weapons

    Braid blade.

    Siela Tempo by the talented Kasanip. Tengu by myself.
    Spoiler
    Show





  10. - Top - End - #10
    Firbolg in the Playground
    Join Date
    Mar 2007

    Default Re: Implausible and idiotic D&D weapons

    Its not in fact. There are several very similar chain weapons. Such as the Surujin (Not spiked per say) or the chain whip.
    My Current Works


    Quote Originally Posted by Serpentine View Post
    Also I'm pretty sure you're GLaDoS now.

  11. - Top - End - #11
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    Another_Poet's Avatar

    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    New Orleans and abroad
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Implausible and idiotic D&D weapons

    Most of the swords are ridiculous to use if you go by their weight in the PHB.
    I just published my first novella, Lúnasa Days, a modern fantasy with a subtle, uncertain magic.

    You can grab it on Kindle or paperback.

    Proud to GM two Warhammer Adventures:


    Plays as Ulrich, Student of Law

  12. - Top - End - #12
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Istari's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Implausible and idiotic D&D weapons

    Quote Originally Posted by Tequila Sunrise View Post
    Spiked chain and any double ended weapons. Aside from staves. The others are just absurd. Oh and the sling being a simple weapon. Slings are anything but simple to use.
    TS
    Double bladed swords aren't too bad but the other ones are
    Last edited by Istari; 2008-12-31 at 04:44 PM.

  13. - Top - End - #13
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    Spiryt's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Poland
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Implausible and idiotic D&D weapons

    Quote Originally Posted by Another_Poet View Post
    Most of the swords are ridiculous to use if you go by their weight in the PHB.
    No, I won't say ridiculous. 4 pounds is very heavy for one handed sword, but there are many modern replicas that work fairly OK being that weight. The one handed sword like that wouldn't be very good, unless very well thought and crafted, but it would be passable. Not ridiculous.

    Same for other swords, hell some bihanders actually were 8 pounds.

    Some other weapons weight, like 8 pound mace indeed is ridiculous though.
    Avatar by Kwarkpudding
    The subtle tongue, the sophist guile, they fail when the broadswords sing;
    Rush in and die, dogs—I was a man before I was a king.

    Whoever makes shoddy beer, shall be thrown into manure - town law from Gdańsk, XIth century.

  14. - Top - End - #14
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    JackMage666's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Central Texas
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Implausible and idiotic D&D weapons

    Any bludgeoning weapon made mithral, since you lose half the weight and should do a bit less damage.
    If there's a rule, there's someone out there trying to figure out how to get around it just to piss off his DM.

    Spoiler
    Show
    - The Jack-signal. Thanks Jokes!

    Avatar created by Yeril, who made it look awesome.

  15. - Top - End - #15
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    monty's Avatar

    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    Fresno (yes, THAT Fresno)
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Implausible and idiotic D&D weapons

    Most idiotic weapon in D&D? A gnome.

    Hey, if I have Really Throw Anything, it's technically sort of a weapon.
    My characters:
    Spoiler
    Show
    Sarah, human gestalt druid/totemist
    Adrian, human rogue
    Calypso, half-nymph human gestalt druid/miscellaneous


  16. - Top - End - #16
    Banned
     
    RedWizardGuy

    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Koth
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Implausible and idiotic D&D weapons

    Quote Originally Posted by Istari View Post
    Double edged swords aren't too bad but the other ones are
    I'd hope double-edged swords aren't that bad, yeah, considering the vast majority of European ones are that.

    Double-bladed swords, however, are ridiculous.

  17. - Top - End - #17
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    BlackDragon

    Join Date
    Aug 2008

    Default Re: Implausible and idiotic D&D weapons

    Double bladed ones are actually not nearly as bad thought still bad desing. You can plausibly thrust with them putting your weight behind a blow without cleaving yourself in half.
    Frog in the playground.

    My homebrewer's extended signature.

    I have Str 5!

    Quote Originally Posted by BobVosh View Post
    Wall of text attacks! CRITS!

  18. - Top - End - #18
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Collin152's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Phoenix Metro Area, Az
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Implausible and idiotic D&D weapons

    Quote Originally Posted by Frog Dragon View Post
    Double bladed ones are actually not nearly as bad thought still bad desing. You can plausibly thrust with them putting your weight behind a blow without cleaving yourself in half.
    It still results with a blade by your torso, the slightest twist of which could result in your person being cleft in twain.

  19. - Top - End - #19
    Troll in the Playground
     
    RTGoodman's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Eastern NC
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Implausible and idiotic D&D weapons

    I think THIS THREAD is appropriate. And THIS post in particular.
    The Playgrounder Formerly Known as rtg0922

    Homebrew:
    "Themes of Ansalon" - A 4E Dragonlance Supplement
    Homebrew Compendium

  20. - Top - End - #20
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    Spiryt's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Poland
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Implausible and idiotic D&D weapons

    Quote Originally Posted by JackMage666 View Post
    Any bludgeoning weapon made mithral, since you lose half the weight and should do a bit less damage.
    Well, that won't be such problem, just use more mithrall than you would use steel and balance definetly. I suppose that if mithral is so super material, much is possible with it.

    Here are real hits:

    Heavy weapons, such as those from from gold or platmum, are unwieldy but inflict additional damage
    Yes, sword made out of gold, and even heavier. Wonderful idea * snark *

    Only weapons made entirely or largely of metal (such as swords or axes) are affected; other weapons (such as spears) are not.
    Why axe is made largely out of metal while spear is not?

    Both taken from here, not sure in what source they appeared in.
    Avatar by Kwarkpudding
    The subtle tongue, the sophist guile, they fail when the broadswords sing;
    Rush in and die, dogs—I was a man before I was a king.

    Whoever makes shoddy beer, shall be thrown into manure - town law from Gdańsk, XIth century.

  21. - Top - End - #21
    Ogre in the Playground
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    NC

    Default Re: Implausible and idiotic D&D weapons

    Quote Originally Posted by Frog Dragon View Post
    So this thread is for pointing out any weapns which simply dont make sense
    A list of weapons which do make sense would be shorter. Most of D&D's weapons stats are built for 'game' purposes rather than simulation. If you're comparing to real weapons I doubt a single one got everything correct.

    But some of the more foolish weapons would include all double weapons other than a staff, the spiked chain, and the maul (depending on the supplement it was listed as up to 20 lbs if I remember correctly).
    -
    I laugh at myself first, before anyone else can.
    -- Paraphrased from Elsa Maxwell
    -
    The more labels you have for yourself, the dumber they make you.
    -- Paul Graham in Keep Your Identity Small

  22. - Top - End - #22
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Voidhawk's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Oxford, England
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Implausible and idiotic D&D weapons

    Sai doing slashing damage, as if they're a type of sword.
    They are actually held down the side of the forearm and are completely blunt, with a blunt tip, and would do bludgeoning damage as you punch with the 'pommel'.
    Looking back on sanity from the other side, and laughing really loudly

    "In the whole of oWOD, there are only five normal people not somehow tied to the great supernatural conspiracy, and three of them were Elvis."
    Quote Originally Posted by The Tygre View Post
    If Ravenloft has taught me anything, darkness only makes the stars shine brighter.
    Bowl of Petunias avatar by Rincewind

  23. - Top - End - #23
    Firbolg in the Playground
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Implausible and idiotic D&D weapons

    Any weapon made from gold. Since it's a soft metal, it'd break on impact.
    I am trying out LPing. Check out my channel here: Triaxx2

  24. - Top - End - #24
    Titan in the Playground
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    Broken Damaged Worthless

    Default Re: Implausible and idiotic D&D weapons

    The Gyrspike. If you don't know what I'm talking about, open up the Arms and Equipment Guide to the new weapons... and just weep.

    All that I say applies only to myself. You author your own actions and choices. I cannot and will not be responsible for you, nor are you for me, regardless of situation or circumstance.

  25. - Top - End - #25
    Bugbear in the Playground
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Soviet Canuckistan

    Default Re: Implausible and idiotic D&D weapons

    Heavy Crossbows dealing minimal damage.

    The Lynxpaw

  26. - Top - End - #26
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Dr Bwaa's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Boulder, CO
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Implausible and idiotic D&D weapons

    spiked chain
    regular spiked chains and the like are crazy, but would be possible to use with exotic weapon proficiency (similar weapons exist, as was pointed out earlier). However, the large spiked chains that certain fighters are so fond of.... now that's just ridiculous. Most people aren't tall enough to warrant their usage, and even if you could use it somehow, what are you going to do with it when you're not using it? Store it in your backpack? I think not. Tie it somewhere? I think not. Carry it? Not without tripping over it or taking horrible movement penalties. In fact you should only move at half speed anyway to avoid destroying yourself, even in combat.

    some of these complaints work for a lot of other oversized weapons, too.


    EDIT: the siangham. Goes in with the lot of monk weapons that just plain suck. (also: requires exotic weapon proficiency for what is effectively a chopstick)
    Last edited by Dr Bwaa; 2008-12-31 at 05:49 PM.
    For people who enjoy reading or writing.

    Spoiler
    Show

    Awesome banner/avatar by El_Frenchie!

    Play chess? Look me up! (bwaa)


    Formerly known as lordhenry4000

  27. - Top - End - #27
    Orc in the Playground
     
    Tadanori Oyama's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    Everett, WA
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Implausible and idiotic D&D weapons

    Whip dagger.

    Not as insane as some but putting a knife on the end of a bull whip? Seems like a good way to hurt yourself.
    "Buddy, if I bothered to think like that would I be standing here today with an octopus-god larva growing out of my neck?"
    Suh'Zahne, Cultist of Ur

    "Since things can't possibly get any worse, Red Mage, we turn to you."
    "Prepare to be proved wrong!"

  28. - Top - End - #28
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    NecromancerGuy

    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    The shadows
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Implausible and idiotic D&D weapons

    While the weapon itself is not implausible, I always thought that it was ridiculous that a bastard sword required the exotic weapons proficiency.

    So, let's see, a one-handed sword can be wielded using the martial weapons profiency. And a two-handed sword can be wielded using the martial weapons profiency. But a sword that can be wielded either one- or two-handed requires an additional proficiency?!

  29. - Top - End - #29
    Barbarian in the Playground
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Implausible and idiotic D&D weapons

    The double axe is feasible, with incredible strength, but you certainly shouldn't be able to apply 1 and 1/2 strength bonus to it or wield it in two hands for power attack bonuses.

    The dire-flail is just inane.

  30. - Top - End - #30
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    KIDS's Avatar

    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    Croatia
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Implausible and idiotic D&D weapons

    Quote Originally Posted by rtg0922 View Post
    I think THIS THREAD is appropriate. And THIS post in particular.
    Oh my God. Thanks so much for linking those, I had such an insane fit of laughter that will carry me through the whole 2009 now :D
    There is no good and evil. There is only more and less.
    - Khorn'Tal
    -----------------------------------------
    Kalar Eshanti

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •