Phase's Phully Phormed, Phalangeal, and Phantasmagorical Random Banter #112

[Kaelaroth]

I am envious of people who can sing. Why can't I? Everyone else I know can at least manage a fair belting of karaoke.
Now, Zero, that's the darnedalamalam conspiracy.

[Kneenibble]

The ultimate defense weapon:

Sharks! With lazers on their foreheads.

Oh my God! The shark-mounted homeless will destroy us all!

[Player_Zero]

I am envious of people who can sing. Why can't I? Everyone else I know can at least manage a fair belting of karaoke.
Now, Zero, that's the darnedalamalam conspiracy.

That's... Not a word...

[Thufir]

That's... Not a word...

It is now!

[Lyesmith]

Oh my God! The shark-mounted homeless will destroy us all!

...I'll get the U-boat!

[Sneak]

I am envious of people who can sing. Why can't I? Everyone else I know can at least manage a fair belting of karaoke.
Now, Zero, that's the darnedalamalam conspiracy.

Yeah, sometimes I wish I could sing. Then I just do it anyway and I feel better.

Seriously, though. I think if you have the courage to go out there and sing even when you have no talent whatsoever, people either respect you enough or feel bad for you enough to not comment on it.

[Kaelaroth]

That's... Not a word...

Dude, when I say something, of course it's a word!
Damnalamalamaling, my Zero, I am a WORDSMITH!

[Player_Zero]

Dude, when I say something, of course it's a word!
Damnalamalamaling, my Zero, I am a WORDSMITH!

I am a great wizard.

[Dr. Bath]

*comes back with Garlic Chicken*
Wow, its slow today, only a few threads have had a post since I left.

You could come and ask me some mo' questions. Ay? Ay? *nudge nudge* So... does she, er, like shameless plugs, ay? Ay?

Singing badly is what I was born to do. And what I have made it obligatory to do in my common room for certain songs.

[CurlyKitGirl]

You could come and ask me some mo' questions. Ay? Ay? *nudge nudge* So... does she, er, like shameless plugs, ay? Ay?

I intend to!

Singing badly is what I was born to do.

Ditto. Mum says when I sing it's like a cat being strangled down a drain pipe. Can't hold a tune for toffee.

[UncleWolf]

You could come and ask me some mo' questions. Ay? Ay? *nudge nudge* So... does she, er, like shameless plugs, ay? Ay?

Singing badly is what I was born to do. And what I have made it obligatory to do in my common room for certain songs.

Your wish is now granted.

[Player_Zero]

This bottle of listerine mouthwash is clear itself but the liquid inside is coloured green. Not an opaque green like the sky, but rather a clear neon green which hints that drinking it would be bad but also open up to you a fantasy world involving one-horned horses and flying squirrels of great velocity and viciously attached to their own personal disillusions.

[Dr. Bath]

This bottle of listerine mouthwash is clear itself but the liquid inside is coloured green. Not an opaque green like the sky, but rather a clear neon green which hints that drinking it would be bad but also open up to you a fantasy world involving one-horned horses and flying squirrels of great velocity and viciously attached to their own personal disillusions.

Listerine cleans boats. At least this is what I have been led to believe. Quite how it does so, I don't know. Maybe it shoots acid from its liquidy eyes? Like Tizer.

[Player_Zero]

I'm eating this crumpet you see, and now I notice that one of the keys on my keyboard has gotten a drop of tea splashed upon it. So I take my towel and wipe the key. But this causes it to press down just enough to press itself and so I end up typing '3' several times in a row.

I am not. No, not.

[Rutskarn]

I'm eating this crumpet you see, and now I notice that one of the keys on my keyboard has gotten a drop of tea splashed upon it. So I take my towel and wipe the key. But this causes it to press down just enough to press itself and so I end up typing '3' several times in a row.

This is completely acceptable. There are many advantages to having an orange peel in a grocery cart lit on fire. However, the odor of mercury, tabasco, and sulfur can occasionally grate the sensibilities of the average jaguar. This can be overlooked when when provides enough gunpowder and raw tea leaves to choke a wombat.

[Player_Zero]

Random noun random adverb random verb the noun every time on noun, this is because noun verb noun-noun-noun, you see noun is the noun. Verb is overrated but that is because noun is a noun.

Noun noun noun noun is the noun.
Noun noun noun noun is the noun.
Noun noun noun noun is the noun.

Spoiler

Show

HOOAAAAAAA!!

Denied it categorically.

[Eldpollard]

I'm eating this crumpet you see, and now I notice that one of the keys on my keyboard has gotten a drop of tea splashed upon it. So I take my towel and wipe the key. But this causes it to press down just enough to press itself and so I end up typing '3' several times in a row.

I am not. No, not.

But of course anything can be excused when in conjunction with crumpets. And the addition of tea makes it all the better. It's the British cliché defence.

[Player_Zero]

But of course anything can be excused when in conjunction with crumpets. And the addition of tea makes it all the better. It's the British cliché defence.

What about genoicde? If I poisoned several million crumpets and handed from out to a starving people would it still be so funny? I think not.

It's just too spoony.

[Rawhide]

This bottle of listerine mouthwash is clear itself but the liquid inside is coloured green. Not an opaque green like the sky, but rather a clear neon green which hints that drinking it would be bad but also open up to you a fantasy world involving one-horned horses and flying squirrels of great velocity and viciously attached to their own personal disillusions.

It's also 22% ethyl alcohol.

[Dragonrider]

Mouthwash is made of ew-some.

[Kaelaroth]

Mouthwash is made of ew-some.

As are flight socks, the fact that my mother left her muddy boots on my floor, and that stupid purple dinosaur.

[CurlyKitGirl]

DEEREE!
*hugs*
I've missed you! Where've you been? Lurkin'? 'Cause you know that's mean to everyone here.

*blinks*

Now I really have to get to bed; it's 2 am sharp and my sleepy pills are kicking in very hard now.
Also hungry as I ate at four and then forgot dinner.
Oh well.
Sleepy.

Also; us Britlanders are men'al at this time of night if this page has anything to say about it.
Well, now that my mission (welcome huggin DeeRee) is accomplished I bid thee adieu.

[Kneenibble]

A lot of the homeless people who haunt this city downtown have such wonderfully fresh, minty breath. Believe me, their fantasy worlds have nothing so pleasant as unicorns or squirrels.

[Recaiden]

Goodnight Curly. I don't really mind mouthwash.

[Player_Zero]

Intriguing... But why would the colour lie to me? I bought it crackers and mature orange cheddar which clashes with it ever so nicely even if it doesn't have the fresh minty smell. I suppose it could be upset that I didn't choose a nice blue... But then where would I find some blue cheese? That seems out of the realms of possibility to me, afterall blue cheese isn't actually blue and I doubt that if it was then it would be what it is which is not neon blue.

I am thirsty.

[Kneenibble]

I'd suggest an appropriate drink, but I suspect you've already had at least a sample.

[Player_Zero]

You would suppose wrong. Or perhaps wrongly. Or both. Or neither. Or both neither and both at the same time causing a contradiction in logic which therefore proves that I am Gandalf the Grey, since any logical contradiction can form a logically valid argument which can prove the absurd.

But I do believe that a sliver- ...There's a word for that... Cut... Pieces... Strand... Thorn... This calls for a thesaurus.

...Having consulted Mr. Thesaurus who lives in Norwich with a family of five and a dog affectionately named after the character Pongo from 101 Dalmations despite not actually being a dalmation but rather an abomination not meant for this world and which will one day go to town with a butterknife to all of his adoring fans and sensibilities, I have come to the conclusion that I've bloody well forgotten what word I just looked up having written that last paragraph.

Slice? It will do. Anyway, I've lost a slice of something or other apparently and I don't know where I put it.

[Uncle Festy]

@Festy: little blue hermit crab is sad isn't it?

…
Huh?
I mean, in general, yeah, but was there a part in particular that you were talking about?

@'zira: there are seven words with which to prove the badassery of Granny Weatherwax: "I ain't been vampired; you've been Weatherwaxed." - Carpe Jugulum.

YES.

[Rutskarn]

I submit to my good Zero of Player that a bolt of lightning, if properly seasoned, would make a delectable commercial break for any occasion. The skeleton in my toilet tank thinks so too, but I wouldn't listen to him.

He's quite mad, you know.

[UncleWolf]

Well, I have a monster headache and it's time for me to go to bed.

Good night and hunt well.