WAR GAMES! an oots style webcomic.

[Kaytara]

Guys... With the leg movement, to be fair, Rich doesn't use all that many running pose variations either. Look at the last comic. Panels 1-4 all show Belkar with the exact same leg positions.
Somehow, though, Rich makes it less obvious. A tip: if you make other things different, like the positions of heads and arms and the way they hold their weapons, you'll probably get it right too.

I like the character designs. :) Although the dark-skinned guy's design is perhaps generally a bit too dark, I like the details, especially the skull with those things dangling from it. :)

I like that you began the scene in media res, without us having any idea of what's going on. :)

As others have said, watch out for spelling. It's not that much trouble to run things through a spellchecker first. Like this one: http://www.spellcheck.net/

[CrimsonAngel]

Praise the spell check!

[The Gremlin]

Personally, I think that you should always just stick to one comic. If you wanna do stuff about this, you should just add it into your original comic. That's what I do...
...or what I would do if I wasn't working on learning to use Inkscape.

[DoomITP]

I'm liking it.

[CrimsonAngel]

Personally, I think that you should always just stick to one comic. If you wanna do stuff about this, you should just add it into your original comic. That's what I do...
...or what I would do if I wasn't working on learning to use Inkscape.

I quit the old comic because it was hard thinking of stuff for the next comic + the art sucked. This time I made a comic about stuff I do all the time with my legos. So now I just have to play to think of new stuff.

[DoomITP]

I'd better be a uber hero in this... I saved yer abr career. Kpenguin and Q too.



Just kidding

[CrimsonAngel]

New comic!!!

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EDIT: by the way, I don't mind if you break the three post rule. As long as you don't double post.

EDIT EDIT: The rock is from an upcoming ogre.

[The Gremlin]

New comic!!!

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EDIT: by the way, I don't mind if you break the three post rule. As long as you don't double post.

Well, CA, you really are improving. I apologize for that flak I gave you in ABR, it was unjustified.
Good work.
....
...but the grammar issue is still important.

[DoomITP]

I place crimson under mah protection.

[Kaytara]

Some of those blue motion lines would go well with the rock to show it being hurled into the wall. I didn't realize it was a rock until I read your comment.

Logic-wise, this is where you lose me, though. If those characters are high level enough to cast Meteor Swarm, why were they running from the goblins in the first place? (And in case they were running from something ELSE, why waste that uberpowerful spell on goblins?)

[Ninja Chocobo]

legos

No. This word does not exist. It's Lego. Saying Legos is like saying breads, or porks, or Exalteds.

EDIT: by the way, I don't mind if you break the three post rule. As long as you don't double post.

Rule only applies in SMBG, why doesn't anyone understand this?

[CrimsonAngel]

Some of those blue motion lines would go well with the rock to show it being hurled into the wall. I didn't realize it was a rock until I read your comment.

Logic-wise, this is where you lose me, though. If those characters are high level enough to cast Meteor Swarm, why were they running from the goblins in the first place? (And in case they were running from something ELSE, why waste that uberpowerful spell on goblins?)

Because I've never played DnD and all I have to go by is oots.

[BRC]

Because I've never played DnD and all I have to go by is oots.

Fair enough.

Here, do what I did. Establish right away that your comic, though it is a fantasy comic, is not in a universe that runs by the DnD ruleset. All the DnD ruleset lets you do is make rules jokes, and we have enough of those. In the meantime, it can limit things, so throw it out the window and do what you want.

[Kaytara]

Because I've never played DnD and all I have to go by is oots.

Ah, that explains it. (Although, the only instance of Meteor Swarm in the comic comes from an EPIC-level Lich sorcerer, which sounds like a big deal even if you don't know DnD... while the obviously less powerful elf wizard has never been shown to cast it, so conclusions may be drawn there...)

It's a risky idea to make a DnD-based comic if you don't know DnD, though. Have you considered just disregarding the rules part and making up your own spells?

[The Gremlin]

No. This word does not exist. It's Lego. Saying Legos is like saying breads, or porks, or Exalteds.


Rule only applies in SMBG, why doesn't anyone understand this?

There's no need to be so mad about it! He does need to improve his grammar, but it's not such a big deal!
And the three-post thing is still discouraged, even outside of 'SMBG'. Now calm down.

[Szilard]

Technically, LEGO wants you to call it the LEGO system, but Lego and Legos are fine. (Unless of course Legos shows up as a misspelled word on most spell checkers... which it probably does.)

[Ninja Chocobo]

There's no need to be so mad about it! He does need to improve his grammar, but it's not such a big deal!

I've sworn a personal vendetta against that particular 'word'.

And the three-post thing is still discouraged, even outside of 'SMBG'.

Objection!
On the latest page of the ABR discussion thread you have made three posts, with an average gap between them of one and two-thirds posts.
There is a clear contradiction here!

If it was truly as discouraged as you say it would have been added to the Forum Rules, in the same category as double posting. It has not, it remains solely in the "The Rules of the Game" thread in SMBG, detailing the regulations specific to that subforum.

Now calm down.

Now I'm even more pissed off.

(Unless of course Legos shows up as a misspelled word on most spell checkers... which it probably does.)

It does. It's a brand name. One does not say "D&Ds" when referring to one or more D&D books.

[CrimsonAngel]

I've sworn a personal vendetta against that particular 'word'.

Objection!
On the latest page of the ABR discussion thread you have made three posts, with an average gap between them of one and two-thirds posts.
There is a clear contradiction here!

If it was truly as discouraged as you say it would have been added to the Forum Rules, in the same category as double posting. It has not, it remains solely in the "The Rules of the Game" thread in SMBG, detailing the regulations specific to that subforum.

Now I'm even more pissed off.

Why do you love finding things wrong with stuff I make.

[DoomITP]

no fighting in my apprentice's thread!

[The Gremlin]

I've sworn a personal vendetta against that particular 'word'.

Objection!
On the latest page of the ABR discussion thread you have made three posts, with an average gap between them of one and two-thirds posts.
There is a clear contradiction here!

If it was truly as discouraged as you say it would have been added to the Forum Rules, in the same category as double posting. It has not, it remains solely in the "The Rules of the Game" thread in SMBG, detailing the regulations specific to that subforum.

Now I'm even more pissed off.

On the first and second points, fair enough.

[Ninja Chocobo]

Why do you love finding things wrong with stuff I make.

I have not criticised your work in this thread.

[CrimsonAngel]

For some reason I like making splash pages. So I think I'll make big scenes most of the time. (unless I realy need to make a comic.) So anyway, new comic.

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EDIT: new comic. Last today.

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[Bayar]

The ogre looks like he is taking a dump...

[The Gremlin]

The ogre looks like he is taking a dump...

What do you mean? He looks normal to me.

[chriky]

For some reason I like making splash pages. So I think I'll make big scenes most of the time. (unless I realy need to make a comic.) So anyway, new comic.

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EDIT: new comic. Last today.

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One tiny little thing, in the first comic where they are holding spears and staffs by the end it sort of looks wierd. I'd recommend you make them hold the weapons further down.
But apart from that this comic looks good.

[Wreckingrocc]

The lego-legos criticism was not of your work. It was of what you said in a post.

As for constructive criticism, in the 3rd comic, the human lady with the sword and bandanna is standing next to a giant hole, so you can't actually tell where her right arm is. It's not actually necessary to be able to read the comic, but it's just one of my petpeeves. Consider adding color for the fill instead of black. Maybe use the shape to carve out of the tower, and place a wall and floor in a layer behind, so it actually looks like it broke a wall for a tower, rather than a cartoon set where everything you see is everything there is, and a hole to a tower leads to nowhere due to the fact that no one will ever enter the tower.

Adding a slight blur to the smoke would also add quite a bit of coolness-effect. Just remember to be very zoomed out when you do it and to do it only right before exporting, and to undo it right after exporting, since it will very likely crash your computer if you are zoomed in... The blurring tools in inkscape suck.

[Scott Fearnley]

It looks alright I would just work abit on the mouths as they all look very simalar. (most evident in comic 2).

[CrimsonAngel]

The comic is too long for image. http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e3...ris/g29060.png

[Mad Mask]

Constructive criticism
I disagree with your use of "splash panel" comics. While it is great once in a while, when used over and over again it seems like your comic has no story and is just about people fighting. Plus, it makes the action drag forever, since there is only one panel. I think that it's not a good idea and that you should get back to multi-panel comics.

I also disagree with your use of "only one main character, the rest are cameos". Cameos do not allow for much character development, since their appearance is often brief and forgotten. You should know that character development is critical, lest the cast will look like hollow robots with a name slapped on them. Unless, of course, your fancomic is about hollow robots fighting each other for no apparent reason.

The art is acceptable for a beginner, although you should be wary of repetitive backgrounds and identical poses in each panel. In my opinion, characters should look alive (even stick figures) and move around in different positions.

Finally, I think that your script is not excellent. There is not much happening, we know nothing about the characters, and there is no story at all. You might say the first OotS were just about characters in a dungeon, but they had humour, which WAR GAMES! seems to lack. And stuff actually seemed to happen in the first 5 strips: the characters explored, fought, moved around, and bumped into each other; in WAR GAMES!, the characters just battled with monsters.

[DoomITP]

* looks at comic * YaY :D

Your scripting could use a little work. What I do is when I draw a comic I think about what I kinda want to say and then i do the art. Once done a come up with a way to convey my wanted thought into something that takes at least five words. That way people don't complain too much and I can get away with being a bad scripter

edit: Not saying you are, im noting that I am