Horrors from Strongbadia!

[The Vorpal Tribble]

Wave 'o Babies



Tiny Humanoid (swarm)
Hit Dice: 7d8-7 (25 hp)
Initiative: +2
Speed: 20 ft. (4 squares)
AC: 10 (-2 dex, +2 size), touch 10, flat-footed 12
BAB/Grapple: 5/-
Attack: Swarm (1d6+3)
Full attack: Swarm (1d6+3)
Space/Reach: 10 ft./0 ft.
Special Attacks: Crushing wave, odor of the unchanged
Special Qualities: --
Saves: Fort +4, Ref +0, Will +0
Abilities: Str 17, Dex 7, Con 8, Int 10, Wis 6, Cha 15
Skills: Listen +8, Move Silently +2, Spot +8
Feats: Improved Initiative, Improved Overrun, Power Attack
Environment: Any land
Organization: Swarm, Family (2 swarms), Nursery (5+ swarms)
CR: 3
Treasure: None
Alignment: Always neutral
Advancement: --
Level Adjustment: --

Waves 'o babies are bewildering mound of generally human infants who for some reason or other have come together as a single being, determined to bury the world beneath their collective bulk. They possess surprising agility and strength, able to continuously be climbing and falling forward like land-bound surf without any obvious harm.

Some say they came hail from far over the sea from the Land of Looseleaf, but none have proven such claims.

Combat:
A wave 'o babies are stealthy in their attacks, creeping low upon the ground until they come upon their unwary victim. They then rise up and dash down, crushing the disbelieving opposition beneath their chubby forms.

Crushing Wave (Ex): This special attack allows the babies to rear up and land on opponents as a standard action, using their whole bodies to crush them. Crush attacks are effective only against opponents of medium size or smaller.

A crush attack affects as many creatures as can fit under the swarm's collective body. Creatures in the affected area must succeed on a Reflex save (DC 16) or be pinned, automatically taking bludgeoning damage during the next round unless the swarm moves off them. If the swarm chooses to maintain the pin, the opponent must attempt an opposed strength check. Pinned opponents take damage from the crush each round if they don’t escape.

A crushing wave attack deals 1d6+4 damage.

Odor of the Unchanged (Ex):
Few have ever managed to stay alive long enough to change a wave 'o babies and so any whom come within 20 feet must make a DC 11 will save or become nauseated for as long as they remain in range. Even if the save is made the victims remain sickened. Those who make the save cannot be nauseated for the rest of the day. Save DC is constitution based.

Skills: A wave'o babies gain a +4 bonus to move silently checks.

-=-=-=-=-=-

If you have no idea where in the world this comes from...
http://www.homestarrunner.com/tgs6.html

:o

[Prince_Azar]

That's pretty sick, and I don't mean it in a positive way...

[Colin_Archibald]

wow that's cool! ;D

hey ever think to right up the Strongs as D&D characters? has that been done? if so, link?

[thatguy]

It should be noted that in one of the last Buffy episodes (if not the last) they're playing D&D and encounter Trogdor the Burninator...so don't think it hasn't been thought up before.

I could totally see some CN baddie randomly going around with his longbow, yelling "ARROWED!" at people while he shoots them, though.

[The Vorpal Tribble]

That's pretty sick, and I don't mean it in a positive way...

Dumb maybe, but sick? They ain't undead babies or anything...

hey ever think to right up the Strongs as D&D characters? has that been done? if so, link?

I've written and posted scripts of them 'playing' D&D, but not actually stated them as themselves.

Strongbad would probably be fighter with improved unarmed strike, Strongmad is a barbarian with same. Strongsad... commoner?

It should be noted that in one of the last Buffy episodes (if not the last) they're playing D&D and encounter Trogdor the Burninator...so don't think it hasn't been thought up before.

LOL, didn't know Strong Bad had spread to shows that make Teen Girl Squad look classy...

[Prince_Azar]

No dude, they're babies, period. In D&D I generally never or don't want to kill babies, humanoid or otherwise.

[The Vorpal Tribble]

I didn't really believe anyone would use them... it was a spoof post ::)


1. Nonsense; tomfoolery.
2. A hoax.
3. A gentle satirical imitation; a light parody.


:P

[Prince_Azar]

Probably generally, but you never know... :o

[Alchemistmerlin]

I'm using them now, just to piss off prudish people who might be listening.

[The Vorpal Tribble]

*glances at Merlin's signature and blanches*

[Alchemistmerlin]

*glances at Merlin's signature and blanches*

He WAS an alien! I described this in a different thread...my dwarf almost got the death penalty because of that god damn little shape shifter. Good thing I escaped.

[The_ChronoCatfish]

THE TEEN GIRL SQUAD GAME

For 4 people and a a lot of looseleaf

Seat 4 players in a circle, each one with a stack of looseleaf paper. The player who suggested the game will go first, introducing the game on the first piece of looseleaf. Then, going around in a circle, each player introduces their character.

Voices are mandatory.

After that, just continue creating the story by drawing and speaking the parts until a state of 'It's over!' is declared. 'It's over' can only be declared by a player whose character has already been killed; once you are confirmed dead you can no longer contribute anything else.

Points will be awarded as you go as follows:

+10 for an entertaining death for your character
+2 Using an established running joke
+5 Creating a running joke (ie the first time someone uses something you came up with)
+1 for every time after that that someone uses your running joke
+5 for every fit of uncontrollable laughter caused
+10 for being the last one killed
+20 for surviving at the end
+5 for declaring "It's over!"
+1 for ending a word in 'd!

I haven't playtested this yet, but it poppoed into my head once I started considering the feasibility of a TGS D&D game. If anyone can think of anything to add, I would be grateful.

[Pyritefoolsgold]

Hoo-boy... Lets dive into this...
Note: I only have 3rd ed rulebooks.

Strongbad: Level 10 CN Fighter
Abilities:
STR: 15
DEX: 9
CON: 16
INT: 10
WIS: 7
CHA: 16

110 Hitpoints
+10/+5 BAB
Skills
Climb: 11
Handle Animal: 6
Jump: 8
Swim: 6
Knowledge (Strongbadia): 4
Profession (Email Answerer) 4
Profession (Film Director) 2

Feats
Endurance
Improved Bull Rush
Improved Critical (Unarmed Strike)
Improved Unarmed Strike
Power Attack
Cleave
Great Cleave
Run
Weapon Focus (Unarmed Strike)
Weapon Specialization (Unarmed Strike)
Type with boxing gloves on

There, anyone can go off with that, cause I don't feel like doing it anymore.
But in the characters/classes debate, IMHO The Cheat would be a Rogue, Strongmad would be a Barbarian, Marzipan would be a Druid, Strongsad would be a Bard, Homsar would be a cleric of the concept of insanity (With a Wis score of -2) Bubs would be an Expert, Coach Z would be a Monk, PomPom would be a Ranger, The King of Town would be an aristocrat, The Poopsmith would be an Expert (Craft (Poop) or Profession (Poopsmith)), and Homestar Himself would be an epic level commoner.

[The Vorpal Tribble]

PomPom would be the monk, you seen his moves and when he's training in martial arts, right?

[iNSOMN14]

I was bored. But after looking at this and then watching the Strong Bad Emails or the HR Cartoons, it all starts to makes sense...

The Cheat

Type: Small Magical Beast
Hit Dice: 2d10 (15 hp)
Initiative: +1
Speed: 20 ft.
Armor Class 12 (+1 size, +1 Dex), 11 ff, 12 touch
Base Attack/Grapple: +2/-4
Attack: Slam +3 (1d4 - 2)
Space/Reach: 5 ft./5 ft.
Special Qualities: Charm Person, Darkvision 60 ft.
Saves: Fort +3, Ref +4, Will +0
Abilities: Str 6, Dex 13, Con 10, Int 12, Wis 10, Cha 16
Skills: Bluff +8, Diplomacy +8, Hide +9, Move Silently +5, Sleight of Hand +5
Feats: Persuasive, Weapon Finesse
Enviroments: Strongbadia
Organization: Solitary, the Strongbadiest (1 the Cheat, 1 Strong Bad, & 1 Strong Mad)
Challenge Rating: ???
Treasure: Depends
Alignment: Always Chaotic Neutral
Advancement: By class

Charm Person (Sp): As a standard action, the Cheat may Charm Person as the spell, DC 18. The save is Charisma-based and includes a +2 racial bonus.

[The Vorpal Tribble]

Corn Is No Place For A Mighty Warrior



Dimunitive Humanoid
Hit Dice: 1d8+2 (6 hp)
Initiative: +3
Speed: 10 ft. (2 squares), climb 10 ft.
AC: 23 (+3 dex, +4 size, +6 splint mail), touch 17, flat footed 20
BAB/Grapple: +0/-14
Attack: +4 Naginata +11 melee (1d2+4/x3/slashing)
Full attack: +4 Naginata +11 melee (1d2+4/x3/slashing)
Space/Reach: 0 ft./0 ft.
Special Attacks: --
Special Qualities: Stout of heart, unburdened
Saves: Fort +3, Ref +3, Will +2
Abilities: Str 6, Dex 17, Con 12, Int 10, Wis 14, Cha 11
Skills: Balance +11, Climb +8, Hide +15, Listen +2, Jump +4, Move Silently +8, Spot +2
Feats: Weapon Finesse
Environment: Any land
Organization: Solitary, Scouts (2-3), Troop (12-24), Formation (25-100), Army (100+)
CR: 2
Treasure: Standard
Alignment: Usually lawful neutral
Advancement: 2-3 HD (Dimunitive), 4-17 HD (Tiny)
Level Adjustment: +4

Far to the east there was once a farmer who in his youth had been drafted into the samurai army. He served his time, and was honorably released for it was a peaceful time. He then became a farmer and spent his whole life plowing the fields and sewing fields of corn. Then a barbarian hoarde came when he was old and slew his family and burned his crops to the ground. In his anguish he cursed the barbarians and as they came upon him he prayed for the gods to hear his words and allow his spirit to protect the others once it had fled his body. After the barbarians left his body slowly enriched the ground of that field and a single stalk of corn grew. But it was such a stalk as would become legend, for upon it grew twenty ears, and ears so large and sweet smelling that they knew it must be a gift from the gods. None ate of the corn, but instead planted it later that year. Every grain that came of that one stalk never quite approached the size or richness of the first, but were still beautiful and filling.

From that time however, whenever an enemy would storm this village, the stalks would burst and out come tiny warriors that are said to possess a fraction of the samurai spirit of the farmer who died long ago. These samurai would even come forth from foods made of the corn, but wherever they hailed they sprung forth with the fierce words, 'Corn is no place for a mighty warrior!'. And so would march out to face the enemy they did, and slew the ranks of marauders.

A mighty warrior speaks the language of those he protects (usually common). He stands about 6 inches high and weighs 2 lbs.

Combat: A mighty warrior uses stealth and his size to come upon his enemies unawares. He attacks with precious little mercy, slashing the legs of his comparatively giant opponent until he falls, and then finishing him off where he lies.

Stout of Heart (Ex):
A mighty warrior laughs in the face of danger and adversity and gains a +6 bonus to checks to resist fear or despair effects.

Unburdened (Ex):
A mighty warrior takes no armor check penalty from the armor he wears.

Skills: A mightyy warrior has a +4 racial bonus on Climb and Move Silently checks and a +8 racial bonus on Balance checks. They use their Dexterity modifier instead of their Strength modifier for Climb and Jump checks.
*In areas of tall grass or heavy undergrowth, the Hide bonus rises to +8.

[WhiteMonkey]

He he... Wave 'o babies...
That's quite a modest proposal!

Get it?

A Modest Proposal!



See, that's funny. You know... 'cause of the book...
...by Jonathan Swift.

no?







Well, I think it's funny.

[Starbuck_II]

Dude that is as bad as burning bums for fuel instead of gas. ;)

(Which ironically is a very efficient idea)

[Ojoxsofeta]

He he... Wave 'o babies...
That's quite a modest proposal!

Get it?

A Modest Proposal!



See, that's funny. You know... 'cause of the book...
...by Jonathan Swift.

no?







Well, I think it's funny.

It made me giggle like the schoolgirl I'm not.

[The Vorpal Tribble]

I neither understand nor comprehend WhiteMonkey or Starbucks...

[Starbuck_II]

Well a Modest Proposal is about starving poor.
It is an essay that explains a perfectly smart, yet abnormal and sick policy that will help be poor no longer be starving.

The Poor should eat soylent green of their own family : of course to put in less coded words: eat their children.

This was two fold:
first, the poor would no longer be starving.
Second, the less cost the family would have since no longer must care for children should help be less poor

At least that is basics ;D.

I am talking about a different essay: I found on NationStates General forum:
Premise 1: fuel is measured on calories.
Prtemise 2: Human fat has many calories.
Premise 3: Burning Human fat would produce more calories than fossil fuels.

Thus humans are more efficient than fossil fuels. We should burn bums.

Totally wrong and immoral, but true. ;)
I'd claim it as my own, but I'm too honest 8)

BTW, Vorpal I love the Corn warrior dude lol.

[Devils_Advocate]

Heck, you don't even need to kill people to use bodies as a power source. In the long term, the population is going to produce dead bodies at a rate of 1 corpse/birth.

I rather like the idea of a crematorium-powered state. Or maybe it would be more efficient if the "original material" were refined into some sort of oil or something?

Soylent Fuel is people! :o

[The_Werebear]

Yeah, you could have the government not charge any taxes on your estate if you agree to have your corpse burned for fuel.

[WhiteMonkey]

I neither understand nor comprehend WhiteMonkey or Starbucks...

http://www.english.upenn.edu/~jlynch...ts/modest.html

So what I did was cleverly allude to Swifts work; which also provided an unusual use for infant children...

See that was funny! Get it?
It's funny right?


No?





Well, I still think so.
*cough

[The_Werebear]

You are never coming over to my house. Ever. Under any circumstance.

[Hermes]

WhiteMonkey, I thought it was very clever. Don't let them get you down for wanting to eat babies... not that you do... and neither do I... no, really... I don't want to eat babies... I swear.....



Okay... maybe I do....











Not really, though.

[The_ChronoCatfish]

WhiteMonkey, I thought it was very clever. Don't let them get you down for wanting to eat babies... not that you do... and neither do I... no, really... I don't want to eat babies... I swear.....



Okay... maybe I do....











Not really, though.

Well, mayble a lil'.

If it makes you feel any better, I kept on trying to think of a way to insert it into conversation. There wasn't really an opening, but if someone had mentioned a Wave o' Babies I would have totally stolen your idea.

[WhiteMonkey]

Indeed, it's amazing how rarely the opportunity arises to make fun of consuming children...





You'd think it'd come up more often. ;D






and for the record, I don't seriously find eating babies to be a good idea.
Though I'd have hoped that'd go without saying. And also for the record neither did Swift. It's a satirical piece...

again this should really go without saying, but you never know who's got a stick up their bottom.

[The Vorpal Tribble]

How in the glass eye of Vecna did this become a discussion on canabilism of infants?

[thatguy]

How do you make a baby float?

One scoop of ice cream, one scoop of baby.