Relationship Woes and Advice, The Seventh Saga

[xPANCAKEx]

wasn't planning on proposing for a few years anyway I was just mentioning that I was already thinking of ways to do it.

welcome to world of puppy love.... enjoy it while it last

its going to be mental
it will probably hurt
you'll probably look back in a few years time and say "what on earth?"

but you wont regret it :)

[Felixaar]

Ona, blargh! Well, at least you learned from it - come on man, you can do it!

Dave, ah, that's okay then. I think about stuff like that all the time, just cause it's how my mind works.

Pancake jeez, what kind of regret-less puppy romance did you have? I think you got lucky there

[Dragonrider]

welcome to world of puppy love.... enjoy it while it last

its going to be mental
it will probably hurt
you'll probably look back in a few years time and say "what on earth?"

but you wont regret it :)

With you all the way on that one.

[Felixaar]

You too? I guess I learned from it all which makes it worth it, but I wish I could've learned faster.

[xPANCAKEx]

Pancake jeez, what kind of regret-less puppy romance did you have? I think you got lucky there

oh believe me i regretted it BIG time for a few years afterwards - but then i chilled out a bit, then a few years back fell head over heels for a girl. I think puppy love made me appreciate it that much more as, despite it being a painful experiance (first big heartbreak and that jazz), it did allow me to strip away a few false expectations, and put in place new ones which i still hold now

sure there was things i would love to have done differently about it, but regret never seems like the right word anymore - puppy love is just about growing up

for all its highs and emotional lows, relish it

You too? I guess I learned from it all which makes it worth it, but I wish I could've learned faster.

im fully with you there - there some things i learnt in my early 20s that i think "damn if only id known that 8 years ago"

[Coidzor]

i get as much enjoyment out of seeing my girlfriend as i do seeing any of my close friends and family but she's over the moon every time we hangout. There's nothing 'wrong' with her, i love her company, but i just don't get any special feelings of happiness when i'm with her that i don't get with hanging out with my little brother or my best friend, and i even kind of resent the way she gets upset if i have to cancel plans.

If you don't feel any differently about or around a lover, then they're just a friend who you may or may not have sexual designs upon.

[Felixaar]

Good point/s, pancake. And Coidzor is also making sense.

[evil-frosty]

Reading all of this i have come up with a question. What is the difference between obsession, puppy love and then real love? Actually knowing this would help a lot so that i dont get hurt again like i did.

[Felixaar]

Sorry evil-frosty, but I don't think that's a question with an answer that can be expressed in words. I think however, that when you're in love, you know.

[snoopy13a]

Reading all of this i have come up with a question. What is the difference between obsession, puppy love and then real love? Actually knowing this would help a lot so that i dont get hurt again like i did.

Probably in the context we're using, obsession would be when one is extremely attracted to another but hasn't done anything yet. They'll spend a significant amount of time thinking and/or fantasing about them without actually making a move. Obsessions differ from "crushes" in their intensity. While crushes are considered normal, obsessions are seen as unhealthy due to the extreme attraction and significant time spent thinking about a relative stranger.

Puppy love occurs during the beginning of a relationship, usually in people who are young. Essentially, the person becomes very excited, thinks about the other constantly, and wants the relationship to move along quickly. Puppy love is normally temporary and fades as the relationship continues.

Real love takes a long time to develop. It is when one geniunely cares about the other's well being and one is willing to sacrifice for the other's behalf without expecting anything in return. It goes deeper then physical attraction.

[onasuma]

So, more news on the X front. Apparently, she doesnt really want anything until this period of exams has past (not her speaking, but a close friend of hers). Thats 8 weeks away! I cant wait that long!

[The Rose Dragon]

So, more news on the X front. Apparently, she doesnt really want anything until this period of exams has past (not her speaking, but a close friend of hers). Thats 8 weeks away! I cant wait that long!

You really want first-hand information. Really.

If I had to count every time I missed an opportunity because I was misled... well, I'd be here for an hour. So not that many. But still, first-hand information is your friend.

[onasuma]

Your telling me I do... Still, its shaken me a bit, even if it isnt true.

[The Rose Dragon]

Your telling me I do... Still, its shaken me a bit, even if it isnt true.

Kid, let's face it. We're teenagers (or so I assume). We're prone to overreacting to everything. Of course you're shaken about the possibility that the cutest girl in the world may not be interested in dating you. It's perfectly natural.

But don't lose hope until you see her making out with someone else in front of you or something.

[onasuma]

I shall try my best.

[Jimp]

Dear RWaA, here is a blurb of info:

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Things with the lecturers daughter are over and not going anywhere. We had a few long talks and she wants to just stay friends so I'm going to respect that. I don't want to go into the details much more than that as I would be repeating a lot of what was said in the last post about her, just in different times and places with slightly different wordings. She did however say she would always be there if I needed someone to talk to.
I was pretty bummed about the whole thing, but to be honest I'm happier this way. The whole 'liking eachother but not wanting to have affair' thing was wrecking my head and climaxed at a day where I had tequila for breakfast and ended up curled up in a ball on a friends couch. I liked her, but I didn't want to do the whole affair thing and wasn't really comfortable trying to split them up, she knows how I felt and respects that and I in turn respect her standpoint. We're staying friends and it's alright

And now, a positive note

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Out of freaking nowhere, I met a girl. A geeky girl. A nerdy girl.
I was hanging out with my friend after he finished classes, we were bored, spotted an Apple info desk and decided to get some laughs and banter out of the girl working on it. We commence taking the piss, she counter takes the piss. Two hours of fun later she has to go home. She wanted to keep in contact with us so we exchange emails. I email her, she emails me, today we got to chatting through a messaging program. Things are going well.
The best part? If we end up dating, then fantastic, but if not then I still have a really fun friend.
But yeah, she's fun and single and a cutie. Going to see how things go with her.

To surmise,

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Lecturer's daughter: staying friends, I'm happy with that.
Geeky girl: getting on well, going to take it easy and see what happens.
Overall, after a few roughish weeks in terms of relationship confusion, I've somehow managed to end this week feeling pretty happy on a whole, which I've really needed. I guess the best things aren't forced, they just happen naturally. Hooray

[CrimsonAngel]

But don't lose hope until you see her making out with someone else in front of you or something.

Don't you just hate that?

[Felixaar]

Ona, don't get discouraged! Check my talking to girls link again and read the parts about confidence and how you have to believe in your self - trust me, if you go on thinking "I've got no hope," well, no, you don't. But if you go in thinking "Im perfect and she'd be mad not to love me!" you just might have a chance.

Don't say that outloud, though.

Jimp, well, I suppose such is for the best. I'm glad things are going along well. Best of luck, and remember to give us updates on this geeky girl regularly

[SilentNight]

Ona: I'm gonna echo TRD here. It's natural to be paranoid and impatient but as hard as it may seem to do, wait it out. From the sound of it this girl is legitimately swamped. My advice is to wait but keep the interest there. If you try to force it you'll have no time for yourself which will add unnecessary complications to the sparse relationship. You need to be able to give time to one another.

[onasuma]

My plans have changed. Yeah, I chickened out of asking her out, but really, ive been told by so (SO) many people she isnt looking for anything til exams are over, I think its for the best.

However, I am going to ask her to our prom. A very loosely disguised team building exercise on a boat in about 9 weeks once all the exams are over. Then, well, ill play by ear.

[Dallas-Dakota]

Or you know, if she tells you that she's secretly with somebody else.

Happend to me.

Or maybe I'm just that ugly, asocial and dumb to make her use that as excuse.

[onasuma]

That is one thing I know that isnt happening.

EDIT: Actually, you know, the whole above post is inaccurate.

[Dallas-Dakota]

Yeah, I hope so for you Ona!

[Felixaar]

Or you know, if she tells you that she's secretly with somebody else.

Happend to me.

Or maybe I'm just that ugly, asocial and dumb to make her use that as excuse.

People don't come up with excuses that easily, Dallas and if they do, they're normally pretty lame. Like my classic line, "I... have to go... do some... stuff. With some people."

Ona, sounds like a good plan, but chicken out this time and we'll eat you for dinner

[CrimsonAngel]

Or you know, if she tells you that she's secretly with somebody else.

Happend to me.

Or maybe I'm just that ugly, asocial and dumb to make her use that as excuse.

You're a zombie cookie monster.

[The Rose Dragon]

Quick, I need advice on how to hit on a clown!

She's a very cute clown!

EDIT: Damn you people and your slow responses!

That question can still be answered though. I have a feeling she is there every Sunday.

Meanwhile, another question: how do you get someone to try to be friends with you?

[xPANCAKEx]

Quick, I need advice on how to hit on a clown!

She's a very cute clown!

EDIT: Damn you people and your slow responses!

That question can still be answered though. I have a feeling she is there every Sunday.

Meanwhile, another question: how do you get someone to try to be friends with you?

a we talking an actual clown - or just someone who jokes around

and being friends varies from person to person. I know what some people like in ther friends would piss me off to the back teeth. You're not going to get on with everyone in life, so dont stress out about it, but if you've got common ground then its a good start

[The Rose Dragon]

An actual clown. Silly makeup, hideous outfit, all that good stuff.

We do have common ground. I just cannot seem to utilize them to be friends with the person.

[averagejoe]

You could try telling them that you'd like to be friends, or something to that effect.

[The Rose Dragon]

You could try telling them that you'd like to be friends, or something to that effect.

I did, to little effect.