We All Scream

[Eldan]

The first step in convincing an ICM is to tell him that you are not in it for the flavour, but for the texture. Telling him a lenghty tale about the history of your Mascarpone will take you far in convincing him that you can handle it wihtout making it too cheesy.

[horseboy]

My god, what blatant strawmanning!

The sheer amount of fallacies engendered in these statements is staggering - particularly the fallacy that chocolate is delicious. I am unsurprised to see these tired old strawman arguments being trotted out by the strawmanning classes that favor cocoa-based ice-creams instead of being willing to try the deeper and more complex flavors that you can find in sherbet.

Strawman.

Exactly, the rules don't even accommodate the amount of detail needed for the complexity of dreamsickle.

Strawberry? Never. I'm allergic to it anyway, and chocolate is better in a cone.

Still no takers on the frozen custard possibility? Come on, even the ice cream makers realized what a great idea it was. The entire Soft Serve system was set up to cash in on FC's success. While Soft Serve does appeal to many, it's a pale imitation of the real thing.

Uh, no. Soft Serve was created because an ice cream delivery guy's truck broke down on the side of the road and he was selling his ice cream off cheap rather than having to throw it all away. It came out quite earlier than FC, which is just plain nasty. I swear kids today have no respect for what it was like in Gygaxian ice cream stores.

[chiasaur11]

Exactly, the rules don't even accommodate the amount of detail needed for the complexity of dreamsickle.

Uh, no. Soft Serve was created because an ice cream delivery guy's truck broke down on the side of the road and he was selling his ice cream off cheap rather than having to throw it all away. It came out quite earlier than FC, which is just plain nasty. I swear kids today have no respect for what it was like in Gygaxian ice cream stores.

Yeah. I mean, didn't one out of four cones back in the day contain laxatives?

I mean, they made them nasty in that era.

[lesser_minion]

OK, first point: this thread rocks. The 'flame' earlier just makes everything even sweeter. (Nooooooooo! You'll melt the ice cream!)

I'm still trying to remember what level you had to reach before your ICM teaches you real Ice-Cream-Craft. I mean, that would be awesome.

[Eldan]

It depends: actually, one of the reasons the englightened think that strawberry is still limited is because the ICM teaches you fruitcraft at level 6, while you learn real choclomancy only at level 10.

[Starbuck_II]

Hey, any one ever homebrew?
My brother got that Ice Cream maker toy when he was younger (way back then) and we could make our own ice cream.
We made a couple different ones too.

I found I liked Ice Cream much more when we made it... except Strawberry, that one still wins for me.

[Ascension]

I'm still trying to remember what level you had to reach before your ICM teaches you real Ice-Cream-Craft. I mean, that would be awesome.

Holy Pelor! Real Ice-Cream-Craft?!? Weren't you paying attention when your local cleric warned you of the dangers of making ice cream? May Ehlonna forgive you for such perversion of nature! Milk is meant to remain in its natural state, you pagan!

Chick preserve us! I think all Ice Cream-related books should be burned before this corruption spreads! Who's with me?!?

[Eldan]

Oh, please. Next thing you'll be talking about those "ice-cream related" suicidies back in the eighties.
You crazy Polytheists blame something else every few years. I mean, back then it was ice cream, tomorrow it's probably something else that's completely natural and normal, like soup. I mean, I saw those propaganda movies from the fifties when they went wild about salad.

[BRC]

Can I just say that while I find standard Ice cream plenty enjoyable, I prefer alternate forms of Ice cream, like milkshakes, or floats, or frozen custard.

[OOTS_Rules 2]

I have discovered a well-known sourcebook for Vanilla, the Book of Nine Cookies. The Vanilla alternatives are absurdly tasty, ESPECIALLY Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough and Cookies and Cream.

[lesser_minion]

I never thought vanilla was really in that much need of fixing though. Strawberry definitely needed work, especially after the Doughnut Manuals II and III came out - before that, the worst a strawberry could turn into was a jam doughnut, which wasn't really too dangerous. The ones that turned into doner kebabs were pretty scary though.

[Eldan]

I always said the same thing to my players: no Döner Kebap in my Icecream, please.

[lesser_minion]

Then there is the choice of settings - which published one does everyone prefer? Cake, Fruit Salad, Cup, Chewy Cone, Wafflecone, chocolate cone or coffee? Or did you homebrew your own settings?

[Khatoblepas]

Then there is the choice of settings - which published one does everyone prefer? Cake, Fruit Salad, Cup, Chewy Cone, Wafflecone, chocolate cone or coffee? Or did you homebrew your own settings?

You know, I always liked the more obscure settings. The worldspanning Ice Cream Parlor was my favourite. Unfortunately, the updated setting removed Baked Alaska and Yorkshire Pudding from the possible arrangements, which really made me sad. I love icecream filled yorkshires.

But then there was the Colourings they added, too. You could have the same icecream, but make it look like chocolate or strawberry, or even bubblegum! It made icecream look more exciting, but really it was the same flavour underneath.

I would like to try other systems of dessert, too. Custom Holistic Original Creation Ice Cream Enjoyment is one, but I've found it way too complicated, especially when youtry to do any kind of delicately timed thing like Alaska. It seems better to avoid it altogether, even in the Light version.

Not to mention the other one, RIPPLE I think it was. Totally unbalanced, it makes Raspberry Choc Chip Mega Sundae Floats from an obscure recipebook the best one, I hear.

[Totally Guy]

Who still supports the Local Friendly Neighbourhood Ice Cream Vans?

They're too expensive round here.

I get my soft ice cream cones ordered online so I receive them through the post now.

[horseboy]

Yeah. I mean, didn't one out of four cones back in the day contain laxatives?

I mean, they made them nasty in that era.

Oh man, ever have an ICM that actually used the "Unhygienic worker" rules, rather than skip over them like "nice" ICMs. I mean really, sure it's a little more realistic, but why would I want to have to deal with finding a used band aid in my imaginary ice cream? What's fun about that? Good Humor doesn't make me worry about finding random blood splatter on their frozen desserts. Heck, they've even got a more "realistic" system, complete with dreamcycles and ice cream headaches.

But no, the real worst was the ICM who made extensive use of Cursed Creams. Oh man I hated that who scene. You'd get something labeled Snozberry. It looked like snozberry. Smelled like snozberry. You take a bite and what do you get?

Beaver anus!

Oh ha ha. I'm stuck with beaver anus flavored ice cream. Is there a reason for beaver anus flavored ice cream other than just to make the ICM cackle like a deranged howler monkey? No? I mean, why did someone even make it? Back then ice cream was a huge investment of time and resources that few people ever would make. Not like now a days, where they're just custom blend it right up for you. Someone had to purposefully set out to waste a portion of their life making something incredibly nasty. Oh, they were crazy? Isn't that what you said about the fish wang flavor last week? And that's another thing, why does it have to be something so sophomoric? Couldn't it be something like brains flavor? I'd not want to eat brains flavor, have no use for it, but at least I'd understand why it was around. Somebody got the fever for the flavor of human brains Maybe some necromancer wanting to treat his minions who were good all week. Get them a frozen treat. Except Toothy, he didn't finish his adventurer.
That's why I became an ICM. I made a pact with my Paying Customers that if it said chocolate, looked like chocolate and smelled like chocolate it would be some kind of chocolate. And there was much rejoicing.
Now, of course, it's come full circle and people are all "Presentation doesn't matter, only flavor", "Kool-Aid doesn't restrict itself to the same old WYSIWYG of color/flavor combination, why should we?" Why? because with that attitude you're only half a step away from a big old hearty helping of beaver anus flavor.
It's no wonder prior editions of ice cream left such a bad taste in my mouth.

[Lycar]

I have discovered a well-known sourcebook for Vanilla, the Book of Nine Cookies. The Vanilla alternatives are absurdly tasty, ESPECIALLY Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough and Cookies and Cream.

See ? See ? And that is just the problem! Chocolate! They couldn't leave vanilla well alone, oh no, they had to cave in to the demands of the chocolate-fanboys.

Mark my words: This is just the beginning! Sure, at first you think 'Hey, a few chocolate chips add nicely to the flavour, where's the harm?'. But that, my friend, is a slippery slope! Soon you will feel the temptation to add even more chocolate chips to the mix. Or even, ugh, fudge!.

And one day, you will find that you are staring at nothing but chocolate and wonder where your vanilla went...

Cookies and Cream is pretty tasty though.

Lycar

[ericgrau]

I have discovered a well-known sourcebook for Vanilla, the Book of Nine Cookies. The Vanilla alternatives are absurdly tasty, ESPECIALLY Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough and Cookies and Cream.

But now you're just introducing chocolate into vanilla, which seems to say that you can't truly eat vanilla at all and still enjoy it. I beg to differ, as some of us actually like vanilla and would prefer to see it improved. There is, for example, french vanilla which does a wonderful job of this. Some say it's still worthless when compared side to side with chocolate, but I like it. And come on, chocolate in vanilla? That's so unrealistic.