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Thread: Scary Things to Say
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2009-03-29, 01:00 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2007
Scary Things to Say
Diplomacy has failed against the sly, snaked-tongued advisor of the corrupted king. The bard is too drunk to talk his way out of this tavern fight. That paladin has waaay too high of a Sense Motive for a good Bluff check.
What do you, the scary guy in the party, do in such situations? Why, Intimidate, of course! However, instead of just saying, "I roll an Intimidate check," why not put some zazz into it?
Example: Give us the plans or I'll...
"...rip your still-living flesh off."
"...feed you your own entrails."
"...make you wish you'd never been converted to the new edition."
What are some scary things to say during an Intimidate check? Keep to the forum rules, naturally, but it by no means has to be tame
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2009-03-29, 01:18 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2007
- Location
- U.S.A.
- Gender
Re: Scary Things to Say
Give me the plans or...
"...I will rip out your eyeballs a skull-f*** you."
"...you will be anally raped with this cactus." (cactus being on fire is optional)
"...you will be beaten to within an inch of your life, and then, as you lay in the hospital, only barely able to drink your meals through a straw, your family, your friends, your home, your f***ing DOG, will be destroyed. One by one, they will burn and suffer, while you live on in undignified anguish, lying unloved in your bed, encrusted in your own FILTH. And once that is done, once everything you have ever held dear is gone in a blaze of glory, I will find you again, and I will end your life, inflicting upon you such horrible pain mere words cannot describe it. Slowly, ever so slowly, your vision will fade as the blood loss finally overtakes you, and the sweet release of death will reach out to embrace you as you begin the long decent into the fiery Abyss. And as you fall into that hellish nightmare after-life, your soul shall forevermore be haunted by the sound of my hideous laughter, echoing forever in your final moments."Avatar by Veera
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2009-03-29, 01:19 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jun 2008
- Gender
Re: Scary Things to Say
"Tell me what I want to know, and I'll give back the fingers I'm about to pull off."
Bombastic founder of the "That guy with a Halberd" Fanclub
Wanna see this guy return? Click here for more information
Avatar by Trazoi
Check out my Spaceatar by Geiger Counter here
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2009-03-29, 01:25 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2008
Re: Scary Things to Say
*Sets a dildo wrapped in barbed wire on the table and silently stares*
- Chameleon Base Class [3.5]/[PF]: A versatile, morphic class that mimics one basic party role (warrior, caster, sneak, etc) at a time. If you find yourself getting bored of any class you play too long, the Chameleon is for you!
- Warlock Power Sources [3.5]: Making Hellfire Warlock part of the base class and providing other similar options for Warlocks whose powers don't come from devils.
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2009-03-29, 01:33 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2008
- Location
- Montreal
- Gender
Re: Scary Things to Say
"Tell me what I want to know or I'll shove a fireball down your throat!"
Alternately, this.
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2009-03-29, 01:40 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2008
- Location
- Elyria, Ohio
- Gender
Re: Scary Things to Say
I've been watching a lot of Blackadder recently. Here are some gems from that delightful show.
"Believe me, eternity in the company of Beelzebub and all his hellish instruments of death will be a picnic compared to five minutes with me and this pencil"
"Why does it have to end like this? With me slicing you into thin strips and telling your loved ones that you walked over a very sharp cattle grid wearing a very heavy hat?"
"They do say that verbal insults hurt more than physical pain. They are, of course, wrong, as you will soon discover when I stick this toasting fork into your head."
"Sometimes I think about having you executed just to see the expression on your face..."
"The booted bony thing with five toes at the end of my leg will soon connect sharply with the soft dangly collection of objects in your trousers"
"Is there any particular area you'd like us to go for? We can aim anywhere..."How to Play Rogues Properly:
SpoilerLike this:
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2009-03-29, 01:43 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2007
- Location
- Houston, TX
- Gender
Re: Scary Things to Say
1) We have two options here. Either I kill everyone in this room while looking for the plans...
or you give me the plans, and I kill everyone in the room except you.
2) I want the plans. I don't know how fast your guards are, but I doubt they're fast enough to stop a crossbow bolt.
3) I want the plans. If you don't give them to me now, you will die swiftly, far too swiftly for the guards outside to stop. Tell me sir... Are you a Martyr, or a Survivor?
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2009-03-29, 01:48 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2005
- Location
- PA these days
- Gender
Re: Scary Things to Say
Don't say anything. Just smile.
Life is a gamble, roll the dice. If your life is like cards, rig the deck.
"Boy, sure would be nice if we had some grenades, don'tchya think?" -Jayne
Greatest number of kills In Valhalla Round 1 with Hsams Goht
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2009-03-29, 01:48 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2007
- Location
- Chicago, IL
- Gender
Re: Scary Things to Say
Rorschach is great for "Bad Cop" quotes.
A good all-purpose one:
Originally Posted by Rorschach
Of course, I'm of the opinion that it matters less what you say than how you say it. I had a Rogue who had the habit of Quick-Drawing a hidden knife while settling down to interrogate a fellow - just to trim his nails, you understandLead Designer for Oracle Hunter GamesToday a Blog, Tomorrow a Business!
~ Awesome Avatar by the phantastic Phase ~Spoiler
Elflad
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2009-03-29, 01:51 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2007
Re: Scary Things to Say
Looks like my bunny slippers are running for cover.
Get mean! Get angry! Do I look like I'm trembling in my boots? Do I look like I'm wetting myself in fear? Until I'm too terrified to go outside, lest I dare to blow upon the white-hot embers of your eternally burning wraths, it's not scary enough!
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2009-03-29, 02:01 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2008
- Location
- the abyss (aka NJ)
- Gender
Re: Scary Things to Say
To quote Watchmen (or at least paraphrase):
"A living body and a dead body both contain the same number of particles. Structurally, there's no difference." I then whip out a random severed body part from one of my victims* and hurl it at the guy (or at least drop it at their footsteps).
*If you're the scary guy in the group you should have AT LEAST one remnant from a dead person/creature per HD you have.
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2009-03-29, 02:05 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
- Gender
Re: Scary Things to Say
It's not what you say, exactly, it's what you're doing when you say it. Start by cutting off one of his hands, and then smack him in the face with it. You have a couple options at this point.
"We can do this the easy way, or the hard way. The easy way means you get out of this with no more limbs missing. You don't want to find out about the hard way."
"If you cooperate, we'll let you decide what we do with your hand. If you don't, I can't make any promises..."
Both work without cutting the hand off, but I think it adds something. But my personal favorite is:
"I'm going to count to ten. At ten, if I don't have what I want, you lose another limb. We'll continue like that until you're out of limbs."
If your not down for the actual cutting, then just imply it heavily.
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2009-03-29, 02:14 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2007
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2009-03-29, 02:20 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2007
- Location
- Chicago, IL
- Gender
Re: Scary Things to Say
Lead Designer for Oracle Hunter GamesToday a Blog, Tomorrow a Business!
~ Awesome Avatar by the phantastic Phase ~Spoiler
Elflad
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2009-03-29, 02:26 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
- Gender
Re: Scary Things to Say
Last edited by HeavySleeper; 2009-03-29 at 02:27 AM.
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2009-03-29, 02:29 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2008
- Location
- Oneonta Alabama
- Gender
Re: Scary Things to Say
When i intimidate with my LG Halfling paladin i usually politely say things such as:
"Listen up you sorry son of a give me the plans or I'll rip your ing head off and shove my ing orc double axe down your throat and sell your body to Drow prostitutes" and then I smile
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2009-03-29, 02:32 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jun 2007
- Location
- Under the Iron Gauntlet
- Gender
Re: Scary Things to Say
Start off by looping a fishhook with some silk rope, tying an arrow to the opposite end, and using your finger to poke around the inside of their cheek. After securing the hook, state the following:
"I like to learn. Today I could learn what information you have that I would find desirable. I could also learn about physics and the biology of your species. Much like how that fishhook is being removed from your cheek, the choice is yours."
As an alternative, channel the Captain of a certain 12th Squad from Bleach.Half-Orc Scout by Magioth
Founder of the Therkla Fanclub
My Exalted Characters
Spoiler
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2009-03-29, 02:35 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2007
- Location
- Chicago, IL
- Gender
Re: Scary Things to Say
Yeah, but then you have to worry about blood loss, passing out from shock, and any number of other things. By that point, the fun starts to sound tedious, and we wouldn't want that.
Now, if you're going to do big limb removal, I'd suggest The Bloody Mary MethodLead Designer for Oracle Hunter GamesToday a Blog, Tomorrow a Business!
~ Awesome Avatar by the phantastic Phase ~Spoiler
Elflad
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2009-03-29, 02:36 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2007
Re: Scary Things to Say
"You. You will regret what you have done this day. I will make you regret ever being born. You're going to wish you never left your mother's womb, where it was warm ... and safe ... and wet! I'm going to show you pain you never knew existed! You're going to see a whole new spectrum of pain .... LIKE A RAINBOW!"
Last edited by FoE; 2009-03-29 at 02:38 AM.
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2009-03-29, 02:38 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jun 2007
- Location
- Under the Iron Gauntlet
- Gender
Re: Scary Things to Say
Half-Orc Scout by Magioth
Founder of the Therkla Fanclub
My Exalted Characters
Spoiler
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2009-03-29, 02:39 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
- Gender
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2009-03-29, 03:34 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Apr 2008
- Gender
Re: Scary Things to Say
Imitate the DM's voice: "Are you sure you want to do that?"
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2009-03-29, 03:50 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2005
Re: Scary Things to Say
Thanks to Veera for the avatar.
I keep my stories in a blog. You should read them.
5E Sorcerous Origin: Arcanist
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2009-03-29, 03:54 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2007
- Location
- Chicago, IL
- Gender
Re: Scary Things to Say
Last edited by Oracle_Hunter; 2009-03-29 at 03:55 AM.
Lead Designer for Oracle Hunter GamesToday a Blog, Tomorrow a Business!
~ Awesome Avatar by the phantastic Phase ~Spoiler
Elflad
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2009-03-29, 03:57 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2005
Thanks to Veera for the avatar.
I keep my stories in a blog. You should read them.
5E Sorcerous Origin: Arcanist
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2009-03-29, 04:03 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2007
- Location
- Chicago, IL
- Gender
Re: Scary Things to Say
Number 9 on TopWebComics which, although I never use, is the one voting site all of the comics that ask for voteys seem to use. Who can really tell?
Lead Designer for Oracle Hunter GamesToday a Blog, Tomorrow a Business!
~ Awesome Avatar by the phantastic Phase ~Spoiler
Elflad
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2009-03-29, 04:05 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2007
- Gender
Re: Scary Things to Say
OOC:
Fighter: I cut my arm lenghtwise with a dagger to show the others I mean business.
DM: Ok, you take 20 HP damage. And make a save VS tethanos from the rusty dagger.
Fighter: *shrug*
IC: Ok, I cut my own arm. See the blood ? Yes, it is real. Now if you dont want to bleed out like I am right now, tell me where I find the damn sword !**** Photobucket ; RIP avatars
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2009-03-29, 04:14 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2007
Re: Scary Things to Say
Alot of these are terrible ways to intimidate someone. You rarely ever want to threaten someone directly...that just gives them cause for action...whether it be calling the guards, hiring assassins, leaving town etc.
I suppose they could be useful if all you're looking for is information, but if you want someone to do something for you without having to be there to make sure they do it, you really need to tone it down a bit.
Threaten to drive them out of business, threaten to have your bard compose a ballad detailing their sordid extra-marital affairs (no actual affairs required). Threaten to turn their child's favourite pet into a zombie. Do things that are going to get them to do what you want...without putting them in a corner. Blackmail and such are much better forms of intimidation in many instances.
E.g.
If you threaten to kill me if I don't go grocery shopping tomorrow, when you leave, I'm calling the police
If you threaten to tell my wife I'm going behind her back with her best friend if I don't go grocery shopping tomorrow....I'm not going to tell anyone...and I'm going grocery shopping tomorrow.
Granted...you may still get assassins if they're rich enough
Violence is such an overused form of intimidation. And if all you're using intimidation for is to extract information...you might want to look at the BoVD and rules for extrating info via torture. Good times...good times.Last edited by Theodoriph; 2009-03-29 at 04:25 AM.
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2009-03-29, 05:43 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jun 2007
- Location
- Non Sequitoria
- Gender
Re: Scary Things to Say
Taking one from Kill Bill...
"I'm going to ask you some questions. Every time you lie to me, I'll remove parts of you. And believe me, they will be things you will miss." (I don't remember the exact words. Sorry.)
"Give me the information. You don't want to find out what happens otherwise."
"Do you know how much blood is in the human body? Oh sure I do, but if you don't? Well let's just say you're about to find out."
"You know, it just struck me. All of you people have really nice skin. I'd really like to have it."
On a similar theme...
"I like your skin. Makes me want to get inside you."
"You people have a lot of guts. It's clear I'm not going hungry for awhile."
Why no! I haven't thought about this sort of thing at all!Last edited by Xuincherguixe; 2009-03-29 at 05:46 AM.
Spoiler
Rizban: You could be all, "Today's Destruction is brought to you by the color green.... I HATE GREEN!" then fly off mumbling to yourself "Seven... seven bats... mwa ha ha ha..."
Don't mind me. I'm just going to have some post traumatic flashbacks in the corner here and sob uncontrollably.
Millenium Earl by Shmee
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2009-03-29, 05:52 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Apr 2008
- Gender
Re: Scary Things to Say
Tell us what we want to know, or we'll make you watch BoBoBo-BoBoBoBo, Evangelion, Puni-Puni Poemi, The Smurfs and The Disney channel, all at the same time.
Even if they dont give you the information theyll go insane.