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    Default [Template] How fragile we are...

    Broken

    A broken is the remains of a creature horribly warped and twisted by instruments of torture. Tossed into a corner, their bodies and minds brutalized, they straddled the line between life and death. Upon this threshold most accept and even wish for death, but others, filled with a lust for a revenge against those that hurt them or those with stille wholesome bodies, allowed the unwholesome energies of undeath to claim them and give them strength. Utterly insane, filled with pain and malice, they haunt the deep dungeons, awaiting living creatures to come within to twist into likenesses of themselves.

    A broken creature appears much as it did in life, though its back has been snapped and it moves about on all fours while bent over backwards. Its neck is twisted completely out of shape so that despite its posture its head faces rightside up.


    -=-=-=-=-=-

    Sample Broken

    A hideous sort of screech runs through the dark room filled with rusted and broken equipment whoes sole purpose it is to exact misery. A woman suddenly rushes down the stone stairs while bent over backwards upon twisted fingertips...

    Broken Human Fighter 1

    Medium Undead
    Hit Dice: 1d12 (6 hp)
    Initiative: +2
    Speed: 30 ft. (6 squares)
    Armor Class: 12 (+2 dex), touch 12, flat-footed 10
    Base Attack/Grapple: +1/+7
    Attack: Slam +3 melee (1d6+2 plus 1d6 non-lethal)
    Full Attack: Slam +3 melee (1d6+2 plus 1d6 non-lethal)
    Space/Reach: 5 ft./5 ft.
    Special Attacks: Agonizing strike, cry of agony, death grip, improved grab, marrow wring
    Special Qualities: Crackdown, damage reduction 5/slashing, darkvision 60 ft., resistance to cold 10 and electricity 10, reconfigure, undead traits
    Saves: Fort +2, Ref +2, Will +0
    Abilities: Str 14, Dex 14, Con -, Int 10, Wis 10, Cha 10
    Skills: Escape Artist +32, Jump +6, Intimidate +12
    Feats: Dodge, Improved Grapple
    Environment: Underground
    Organization: Solitary, pair, or inquisition (4-20)
    Challenge Rating: 3
    Treasure: Standard
    Alignment: Always Chaotic Evil
    Advancement: By character class
    Level Adjustment: -

    Combat
    A broken fighter rushes at living creatures while releasing a horrible scream of pain. It then snatches out with a bloodied hand to grab its victim and twists with the merciless force of a thumbscrew.

    Agonizing Strike (Ex): A broken's natural weapons cause horrible pain that deals an extra 1d6 points of nonlethal damage to its victim.

    Crackdown (Ex): A Broken can pulverize its own bones to fit through tight spaces down to half the size of its head without a reduction to speed. This grants it a +30 bonus to Escape Artist checks.

    Cry of Agony (Su): A broken creature may release an inhuman shriek of such piercing agony that those within 60 feet that hear it must succeed on a Will save (DC 10), or be shaken for the duration of the encounter. Those whom make the save are immune to the broken creature's cry of agony for 24 hours. This is a sonic, mind-affecting fear affect.

    Death Grip (Ex): If a Broken pins its its opponent while grappling and maintains the pin for 3 consecutive rounds, opponent must make a Fortitude save (DC 12), at the end of the third round or die as its neck and spine are twisted to the breaking point. This ability only affects living creatures with a fixed skeletal system.

    Improved Grab (Ex): To use this ability, an Broken must hit with one of its natural attacks. It can then attempt to start a grapple as a free action without provoking an attack of opportunity.

    Marrow Wring (Ex): A broken attacks by grabbing and twisting. Upon a critical hit a Broken snaps the bone and twists the limb. There is a 50% chance the limb is a leg and a 50% chance it is an arm. If a leg or arm is broken it is rendered useless and the victim takes the appropriate penalties. The pain caused by this attack is such that the victim must succeed on a Fortitude save (DC 12) or be nauseated for 1 round for every 4 points of damage dealt.
    Once the damage dealt to break the limb is healed, the limb can be used again, though if healed naturally a DC 15 heal check must be made to set the limb straight again or the victim's land speed is reduced by 10 feet (to a minimum speed of 5 feet).

    Reconfigure (Ex): A broken takes only half damage from bludgeoning, for whenever its bones are cracked it simply reforms its shape to adapt.

    -=-=-=-=-=-=-

    Creating a Broken Creature


    "Broken" is an acquired template that can be added to any corporeal, human-shaped fey, giant, humanoid, or monsterous humanoid with an internal skeleton, hereafter referred to as the base creature. A Broken uses all the base creatureís statistics and special abilities except as noted here.

    Size and Type: The creature's type changes to undead. Do not recalculate base attack bonus, saves, or skill points. Size is unchanged.
    Hit Dice: Increase all current and future Hit Dice to d12s.
    Speed: If the base creature can fly, its maneuverability rating drops to clumsy.
    Attack: A Broken retains all the natural, non-supernatural attacks of the base creature and also gains a slam attack if it didnít already have one. If the base creature can use weapons, the Broken loses this ability. A creature with natural weapons retains those natural weapons.
    Full Attack: A Broken fights without weapons, using either its slam attack (see above) or its natural weapons (if it has any).
    Damage: Broken have slam attacks. If the base creature does not have this attack form, use the appropriate damage value from the table below according to the Brokenís size. Creatures that have other kinds of natural weapons retain their old damage values or use the appropriate value from the table below, whichever is better.

    Code:
    Size            Damage
    Fine            1
    Diminutive      1d2
    Tiny            1d3
    Small           1d4
    Medium          1d6
    Large           1d8
    Huge            2d6
    Gargantuan      2d8
    Colossal        4d6
    Special Attacks: A broken creature retains all the extraordinary attacks of the base creature and also gains the following attacks.

    Agonizing Strike (Ex): A broken's natural weapons cause horrible pain that deals an extra 1d6 points of nonlethal damage to its victim.
    Cry of Agony (Su): Once per round as a free action a broken creature may release an inhuman shriek of such piercing agony that those within 60 feet that hear it must succeed on a Will save (DC 10 + half Broken's HD + the Broken's Cha modifier), or be shaken for the duration of the encounter. Those whom make the save are immune to the broken creature's cry of agony for 24 hours. This is a sonic, mind-affecting fear affect.
    Death Grip (Ex): If a Broken pins its opponent while grappling and maintains the pin for 3 consecutive rounds, the opponent must make a Fortitude save (DC 10 + half Broken's HD + the Broken's Str modifier) at the end of the third round or die as its neck and spine are snapped and twisted. This ability only affects living creatures with a fixed skeletal system.
    Improved Grab (Ex): To use this ability, an Broken must hit with one of its natural attacks. It can then attempt to start a grapple as a free action without provoking an attack of opportunity.
    Marrow Wring (Ex): A broken attacks by grabbing and twisting. Upon a critical hit a Broken snaps the bone and twists the limb. There is a 50% chance the limb is a leg and a 50% chance it is an arm. If a leg or arm is broken it is rendered useless and the victim takes the appropriate penalties. The pain caused by this attack is such that the victim must succeed on a Fortitude save (DC 10 + half Broken's HD + Str mod) or be nauseated for 1 round for every 4 points of damage dealt.
    Once the damage dealt to break the limb is healed the limb can be used again, though if healed naturally a DC 15 heal check must be made to set the limb straight again or the victim's land speed is reduced by 10 feet (to a minimum speed of 5 feet).

    Special Qualities: A broken creature loses most special qualities of the base creature. It retains any extraordinary special qualities that improve its melee or ranged attacks. A broken creature gains the following special qualities.

    Crackdown (Ex): A Broken can pulverize its own bones to fit through tight spaces down to half the size of its head without a reduction to speed. This grants it a +30 bonus to Escape Artist checks.
    Damage Reduction (Ex): A broken gains damage reduction 5/slashing.
    Resistances (Ex): A broken has resistance to cold 10 and electricity 10.
    Reconfigure (Ex): A broken takes only half damage from bludgeoning, for whenever its bones are cracked it simply reforms its shape to adapt.

    Abilities: Increase from the base creature as follows: Str +4, Dex +4. As an undead creature, a Broken has no Constitution score.
    Skills: Broken have a +8 racial bonus on Intimidate checks. Otherwise same as the base creature.
    Feats: Same as the base creature.
    Environment: Underground.
    Organization: Solitary, pair, or inquisition (4-20)
    Challenge Rating: Same as the base creature +2.
    Treasure: Standard
    Alignment: Always chaotic evil.
    Advancement: By character class.
    Level Adjustment: -
    Last edited by The Vorpal Tribble; 2008-08-26 at 03:25 PM.

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    Default Re: [Template] How fragile we are...

    Nice, one thing though, you have called it vase creature in the start but it's base creatue afterwards, so I'll assume that was a typo.
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    Default Re: [Template] How fragile we are...

    Mechanics first. Does its Agonizing Strike deal +1d6 or +2d6 nonlethal? You have both included, and the stat block (+1d6) generally trumps the text block.

    Its Marrow Wring ability is nasty. Can the damage (and disability) be healed with regular magic? Does the condition disappear when the damage heals naturally? Or is it a permanent disability?

    Given its 12 Str, why does it have a +2 melee damage bonus? And a +3 melee attack bonus? Is that just one of those times you changed its stats without adjusting its ability scores? ;)

    Cry of Agony- a standard action? A free action?

    Okay, I think I'm done criticizing. It's an awesome undead. Really creepy- almost Silent Hill creepy. Your description of a creature which, while it has bones, doesn't really care to retain its original skeletal integrity, really sets my skin a-crawlin'. Its fear-producing ability is almost redundant in my mind- it's already gonna scare the heck out of me as a player. And the fact that it really just wants to grab me and tear me limb from limb, that doesn't help.

    My girlfriend's running a horror game. I'll send this off to her and see if she's interested in incorporating it. Going with your usual policy, I'll tell you how it massacres the party. ;)
    That is not dead which can eternal lie
    And with strange aeons even death may die.

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    You are a bad, bad man, Abd.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lycanthromancer View Post
    'Psionics' is just tapping into the core of magic within yourself, whereas the mumbo-jumbo dancing, gibbering, and flinging around esoteric material components is like trying to paint-by-numbers when the guy next to you is rendering works from Picasso by memory alone.

    Abd's contribution to the Animate/End A World project.

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    Default Re: [Template] How fragile we are...

    What action does Cry of Agony take? Also, shouldn't it just have the equivalent of Regeneration(not real Regeneration, as that requires a CON score) that everything except bludeoning damage bypasses, rather than complete immunity to it?

    Oh, and GAH!
    Quote Originally Posted by Asmodeus View Post
    However, the general consensus about the best way to stop a monster from attacking is to kill it. In the case of undead, we recommend killing it again.
    2 useful principles for keeping roleplaying games fun.

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    Default Re: [Template] How fragile we are...

    Ok, all mentioned typos, inconsistencies and the like have been adjusted ;)

    Also, shouldn't it just have the equivalent of Regeneration(not real Regeneration, as that requires a CON score) that everything except bludeoning damage bypasses, rather than complete immunity to it?
    Its basically the same thing, except its bones are like a jigsaw puzzle to it. They may break, but the pieces can be forced back together.

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    Default Re: [Template] How fragile we are...

    How creepy.

    What would you say if I said that the fastest way to make something Broken is to give it Druid levels?

    A broken creature appears much as it did in life, though its back has been snapped and it moves about on all fours while bent over backwards. Its neck is twisted completely out of shape so that despite its posture its head faces rightside up.
    Couldn't there be other optional mutilations? Like scars, exposed brains/bones, missing eyes/nose/teeth, long bloody bruises up and down its tattered flesh...

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    Default Re: [Template] How fragile we are...

    Quote Originally Posted by King Steward
    What would you say if I said that the fastest way to make something Broken is to give it Druid levels?
    Err, I'd wonder how adding a template is faster or slower reguardless of the creature.


    Couldn't there be other optional mutilations? Like scars, exposed brains/bones, missing eyes/nose/teeth, long bloody bruises up and down its tattered flesh...
    Certainly.

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    Default Re: [Template] How fragile we are...

    Quote Originally Posted by King Steward
    What would you say if I said that the fastest way to make something Broken is to give it Druid levels?
    High-larious. Ba-dum-CSSH!
    That is not dead which can eternal lie
    And with strange aeons even death may die.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sophismata View Post
    You are a bad, bad man, Abd.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lycanthromancer View Post
    'Psionics' is just tapping into the core of magic within yourself, whereas the mumbo-jumbo dancing, gibbering, and flinging around esoteric material components is like trying to paint-by-numbers when the guy next to you is rendering works from Picasso by memory alone.

    Abd's contribution to the Animate/End A World project.

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    Default Re: [Template] How fragile we are...

    Quote Originally Posted by Abd al-Azrad

    High-larious. Ba-dum-CSSH!
    *feels the passing wind of something going over his head*

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    Default Re: [Template] How fragile we are...

    VT, sometimes you're amazingly dense. It's okay. We still love you*.

    *disclaimer: in an entirely nonphysical, nonromantic, strictly platonic sort of way.

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    Default Re: [Template] How fragile we are...

    Quote Originally Posted by The Vorpal Tribble
    *feels the passing wind of something going over his head*
    There's an ongoing discussion on the Gaming (d20) forum about the Druidzilla, and how Druids are the most powerful, heavily unbalanced core class in the game. Thus, the joke is a pun, based on the name of the Broken template- druids are broken, and it's easier to take a druid level than die horribly. Or more pleasant. Definately more broken.

    Sorry to highjack your monster for an explanation of the joke, but I felt you'd like some form of explanation.

    Oh, back on topic: why do they have piercing resistance? They don't have any bones, so it would seem their only weakness is their undead flesh, which is just as generally vulnerable to stabbing as slashing.
    That is not dead which can eternal lie
    And with strange aeons even death may die.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sophismata View Post
    You are a bad, bad man, Abd.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lycanthromancer View Post
    'Psionics' is just tapping into the core of magic within yourself, whereas the mumbo-jumbo dancing, gibbering, and flinging around esoteric material components is like trying to paint-by-numbers when the guy next to you is rendering works from Picasso by memory alone.

    Abd's contribution to the Animate/End A World project.

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    Default Re: [Template] How fragile we are...

    Quote Originally Posted by Fax_Celestis
    VT, sometimes you're amazingly dense.
    Ungh... I guess I am, and generally I'm a master at noticing puns and hidden jokes.

    I should have gotten it even without the explanation as druids being broken is about the most common discussion outside of katanas...

    *sticks his head in a pig*

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    Default Re: [Template] How fragile we are...

    Quote Originally Posted by Fax_Celestis
    A pig? Ew.
    Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy quote. HA!

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    Default Re: [Template] How fragile we are...

    Quote Originally Posted by Fax_Celestis
    *disclaimer: in an entirely nonphysical, nonromantic, strictly platonic sort of way.
    I see you have improved in the way of disclaimer-fu.

    Am I the only one getting a Voldo type vibe from this thing? Very neat.
    I no longer actively read the forums, and probably won't respond to any PMs. I'm fine with people using my homebrew in anything, including fan-compilations and wikis, as long as you credit me.

    Homebrew by The Demented One.

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    Default Re: [Template] How fragile we are...

    Quote Originally Posted by The_Demented_One
    Am I the only one getting a Voldo type vibe from this thing? Very neat.
    Voldo?

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    Default Re: [Template] How fragile we are...

    Quote Originally Posted by The Vorpal Tribble
    Voldo?
    Can't help with this one. I missed it too.
    That is not dead which can eternal lie
    And with strange aeons even death may die.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sophismata View Post
    You are a bad, bad man, Abd.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lycanthromancer View Post
    'Psionics' is just tapping into the core of magic within yourself, whereas the mumbo-jumbo dancing, gibbering, and flinging around esoteric material components is like trying to paint-by-numbers when the guy next to you is rendering works from Picasso by memory alone.

    Abd's contribution to the Animate/End A World project.

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    Default Re: [Template] How fragile we are...

    The scream in my mind just sounds like the fast zombie screams on halflife 2. These just seem similar to them for some reason.

    Cool monster. Freaky especially as breaking people's bones isn't the quickest way to kill someone... :o

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    Default Re: [Template] How fragile we are...

    Voldo's this weird zombie-type fighter from Soul Calibur who bends in disturbing ways.
    I no longer actively read the forums, and probably won't respond to any PMs. I'm fine with people using my homebrew in anything, including fan-compilations and wikis, as long as you credit me.

    Homebrew by The Demented One.

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    Default Re: [Template] How fragile we are...

    Quote Originally Posted by The_Demented_One
    Voldo's this weird zombie-type fighter from Soul Calibur who bends in disturbing ways.
    And is blind and has a muzzle.

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    Default Re: [Template] How fragile we are...

    Quote Originally Posted by Fax_Celestis
    And is blind and has a muzzle.
    And katars. Gotta love 'em.
    I no longer actively read the forums, and probably won't respond to any PMs. I'm fine with people using my homebrew in anything, including fan-compilations and wikis, as long as you credit me.

    Homebrew by The Demented One.

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    Default Re: [Template] How fragile we are...

    Does the Death Grip work on anything it grapples? Say, a Gelatinous Cube? :D

    Might want to specify that it only works on things with a recognizable anatomy/skeletal structure, or just vulnerable to crits.
    Quote Originally Posted by GungHo, on Battletech
    The Atlas is also goofy but it has that whole "Stay Puft Marshmallow Man" menacing smile thing going for it. The guy who drew that one up was obviously taken to the Nutcracker when he was a child... and he was screaming in terror the entire time.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Enterti, Cogidubnus
    Glyphstone, out of all the playground I think you scare me the most...
    Quote Originally Posted by Zombimode
    Glyphstone, you are an evil person :D

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    Default Re: [Template] How fragile we are...

    Quote Originally Posted by The_Glyphstone
    Does the Death Grip work on anything it grapples? Say, a Gelatinous Cube? :D

    Might want to specify that it only works on things with a recognizable anatomy/skeletal structure, or just vulnerable to crits.
    "at the end of the third round or die as its neck and spine are snapped and twisted. "

    No spine/neck, nothing to twist to death ;)

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    Default Re: [Template] How fragile we are...

    Awesome beastie. Some of the creepiest undead ever conceived lurk on these forums. It's so Silent Hill. Congrats.

    I was considering playing Pyramid Head in an evil campaign once. A fighter with a really big meat cleaver, and a crazy lookin' helmet.

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    Default Re: [Template] How fragile we are...

    Quote Originally Posted by CockroachTeaParty
    I was considering playing Pyramid Head in an evil campaign once. *A fighter with a really big meat cleaver, and a crazy lookin' helmet. *
    But, you see, you'd be taking Monkey Grip for flavour. And that is doubly bad.
    That is not dead which can eternal lie
    And with strange aeons even death may die.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sophismata View Post
    You are a bad, bad man, Abd.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lycanthromancer View Post
    'Psionics' is just tapping into the core of magic within yourself, whereas the mumbo-jumbo dancing, gibbering, and flinging around esoteric material components is like trying to paint-by-numbers when the guy next to you is rendering works from Picasso by memory alone.

    Abd's contribution to the Animate/End A World project.

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    Default Re: [Template] How fragile we are...

    I'll just say that Pyramid Head is a really nasty Goliath.

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    Default Re: [Template] How fragile we are...

    Quote Originally Posted by The Vorpal Tribble
    "at the end of the third round or die as its neck and spine are snapped and twisted. "

    No spine/neck, nothing to twist to death ;)
    Saw that...but other similar abilities have the disclaimers. Might want to at least specify that it can only affect things with a spine/fixed anatomy, and probably make it a death effect. Otherwise, you get the fantastically wierd possibility of one Broken using Death Grip to kill another Broken, despite the fact that they're already like that...
    Quote Originally Posted by GungHo, on Battletech
    The Atlas is also goofy but it has that whole "Stay Puft Marshmallow Man" menacing smile thing going for it. The guy who drew that one up was obviously taken to the Nutcracker when he was a child... and he was screaming in terror the entire time.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Enterti, Cogidubnus
    Glyphstone, out of all the playground I think you scare me the most...
    Quote Originally Posted by Zombimode
    Glyphstone, you are an evil person :D

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    Default Re: [Template] How fragile we are...

    Quote Originally Posted by The_Glyphstone

    Saw that...but other similar abilities have the disclaimers. Might want to at least specify that it can only affect things with a spine/fixed anatomy, and probably make it a death effect. Otherwise, you get the fantastically wierd possibility of one Broken using Death Grip to kill another Broken, despite the fact that they're already like that...
    Which would just be broken. ;D
    Quote Originally Posted by Asmodeus View Post
    However, the general consensus about the best way to stop a monster from attacking is to kill it. In the case of undead, we recommend killing it again.
    2 useful principles for keeping roleplaying games fun.

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    Default Re: [Template] How fragile we are...

    Especially if one's a Druid, and one's a Cleric. :D
    Quote Originally Posted by GungHo, on Battletech
    The Atlas is also goofy but it has that whole "Stay Puft Marshmallow Man" menacing smile thing going for it. The guy who drew that one up was obviously taken to the Nutcracker when he was a child... and he was screaming in terror the entire time.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Enterti, Cogidubnus
    Glyphstone, out of all the playground I think you scare me the most...
    Quote Originally Posted by Zombimode
    Glyphstone, you are an evil person :D

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    Default Re: [Template] How fragile we are...

    Quote Originally Posted by NullAshton
    The scream in my mind just sounds like the fast zombie screams on halflife 2. These just seem similar to them for some reason.

    Cool monster. Freaky especially as breaking people's bones isn't the quickest way to kill someone... :o
    come to that, someone needs to make d20 stats for those things. Tiny Aberrations, 1 hd, three versions, adds a "headcrab zombie" template to the victim. the standard ones can use standard zombie, and the poison(fort DC 16, 1d6 con/1d6 con) and fast ones (speed 50 ft, massive bonuses on climb and jump) would have to be made from cratch.

    this is a friggin creepy monster. great concept. reminds me of many things, none of wich i can put my finger on. not that I want to. I'm so going to use it if ever I get the chance.

    My colors are Blue/Green. I value versitality, knowledge, evolution, and the nautral world. I have a deep fascination with living things, and a natural talent for adaptation. At my best, I am intuitive and adaptive. At my worst, I am isolated and unsympathetic. My symbol is the twisted tree, and my enemy is Red/Black.

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