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Thread: [Template] How fragile we are...
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2006-08-19, 02:34 PM (ISO 8601)
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[Template] How fragile we are...
Broken
A broken is the remains of a creature horribly warped and twisted by instruments of torture. Tossed into a corner, their bodies and minds brutalized, they straddled the line between life and death. Upon this threshold most accept and even wish for death, but others, filled with a lust for a revenge against those that hurt them or those with stille wholesome bodies, allowed the unwholesome energies of undeath to claim them and give them strength. Utterly insane, filled with pain and malice, they haunt the deep dungeons, awaiting living creatures to come within to twist into likenesses of themselves.
A broken creature appears much as it did in life, though its back has been snapped and it moves about on all fours while bent over backwards. Its neck is twisted completely out of shape so that despite its posture its head faces rightside up.
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Sample Broken
A hideous sort of screech runs through the dark room filled with rusted and broken equipment whoes sole purpose it is to exact misery. A woman suddenly rushes down the stone stairs while bent over backwards upon twisted fingertips...
Broken Human Fighter 1
Medium Undead
Hit Dice: 1d12 (6 hp)
Initiative: +2
Speed: 30 ft. (6 squares)
Armor Class: 12 (+2 dex), touch 12, flat-footed 10
Base Attack/Grapple: +1/+7
Attack: Slam +3 melee (1d6+2 plus 1d6 non-lethal)
Full Attack: Slam +3 melee (1d6+2 plus 1d6 non-lethal)
Space/Reach: 5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: Agonizing strike, cry of agony, death grip, improved grab, marrow wring
Special Qualities: Crackdown, damage reduction 5/slashing, darkvision 60 ft., resistance to cold 10 and electricity 10, reconfigure, undead traits
Saves: Fort +2, Ref +2, Will +0
Abilities: Str 14, Dex 14, Con -, Int 10, Wis 10, Cha 10
Skills: Escape Artist +32, Jump +6, Intimidate +12
Feats: Dodge, Improved Grapple
Environment: Underground
Organization: Solitary, pair, or inquisition (4-20)
Challenge Rating: 3
Treasure: Standard
Alignment: Always Chaotic Evil
Advancement: By character class
Level Adjustment: -
Combat
A broken fighter rushes at living creatures while releasing a horrible scream of pain. It then snatches out with a bloodied hand to grab its victim and twists with the merciless force of a thumbscrew.
Agonizing Strike (Ex): A broken's natural weapons cause horrible pain that deals an extra 1d6 points of nonlethal damage to its victim.
Crackdown (Ex): A Broken can pulverize its own bones to fit through tight spaces down to half the size of its head without a reduction to speed. This grants it a +30 bonus to Escape Artist checks.
Cry of Agony (Su): A broken creature may release an inhuman shriek of such piercing agony that those within 60 feet that hear it must succeed on a Will save (DC 10), or be shaken for the duration of the encounter. Those whom make the save are immune to the broken creature's cry of agony for 24 hours. This is a sonic, mind-affecting fear affect.
Death Grip (Ex): If a Broken pins its its opponent while grappling and maintains the pin for 3 consecutive rounds, opponent must make a Fortitude save (DC 12), at the end of the third round or die as its neck and spine are twisted to the breaking point. This ability only affects living creatures with a fixed skeletal system.
Improved Grab (Ex): To use this ability, an Broken must hit with one of its natural attacks. It can then attempt to start a grapple as a free action without provoking an attack of opportunity.
Marrow Wring (Ex): A broken attacks by grabbing and twisting. Upon a critical hit a Broken snaps the bone and twists the limb. There is a 50% chance the limb is a leg and a 50% chance it is an arm. If a leg or arm is broken it is rendered useless and the victim takes the appropriate penalties. The pain caused by this attack is such that the victim must succeed on a Fortitude save (DC 12) or be nauseated for 1 round for every 4 points of damage dealt.
Once the damage dealt to break the limb is healed, the limb can be used again, though if healed naturally a DC 15 heal check must be made to set the limb straight again or the victim's land speed is reduced by 10 feet (to a minimum speed of 5 feet).
Reconfigure (Ex): A broken takes only half damage from bludgeoning, for whenever its bones are cracked it simply reforms its shape to adapt.
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Creating a Broken Creature
"Broken" is an acquired template that can be added to any corporeal, human-shaped fey, giant, humanoid, or monsterous humanoid with an internal skeleton, hereafter referred to as the base creature. A Broken uses all the base creature’s statistics and special abilities except as noted here.
Size and Type: The creature's type changes to undead. Do not recalculate base attack bonus, saves, or skill points. Size is unchanged.
Hit Dice: Increase all current and future Hit Dice to d12s.
Speed: If the base creature can fly, its maneuverability rating drops to clumsy.
Attack: A Broken retains all the natural, non-supernatural attacks of the base creature and also gains a slam attack if it didn’t already have one. If the base creature can use weapons, the Broken loses this ability. A creature with natural weapons retains those natural weapons.
Full Attack: A Broken fights without weapons, using either its slam attack (see above) or its natural weapons (if it has any).
Damage: Broken have slam attacks. If the base creature does not have this attack form, use the appropriate damage value from the table below according to the Broken’s size. Creatures that have other kinds of natural weapons retain their old damage values or use the appropriate value from the table below, whichever is better.
Code:Size Damage Fine 1 Diminutive 1d2 Tiny 1d3 Small 1d4 Medium 1d6 Large 1d8 Huge 2d6 Gargantuan 2d8 Colossal 4d6
Agonizing Strike (Ex): A broken's natural weapons cause horrible pain that deals an extra 1d6 points of nonlethal damage to its victim.
Cry of Agony (Su): Once per round as a free action a broken creature may release an inhuman shriek of such piercing agony that those within 60 feet that hear it must succeed on a Will save (DC 10 + half Broken's HD + the Broken's Cha modifier), or be shaken for the duration of the encounter. Those whom make the save are immune to the broken creature's cry of agony for 24 hours. This is a sonic, mind-affecting fear affect.
Death Grip (Ex): If a Broken pins its opponent while grappling and maintains the pin for 3 consecutive rounds, the opponent must make a Fortitude save (DC 10 + half Broken's HD + the Broken's Str modifier) at the end of the third round or die as its neck and spine are snapped and twisted. This ability only affects living creatures with a fixed skeletal system.
Improved Grab (Ex): To use this ability, an Broken must hit with one of its natural attacks. It can then attempt to start a grapple as a free action without provoking an attack of opportunity.
Marrow Wring (Ex): A broken attacks by grabbing and twisting. Upon a critical hit a Broken snaps the bone and twists the limb. There is a 50% chance the limb is a leg and a 50% chance it is an arm. If a leg or arm is broken it is rendered useless and the victim takes the appropriate penalties. The pain caused by this attack is such that the victim must succeed on a Fortitude save (DC 10 + half Broken's HD + Str mod) or be nauseated for 1 round for every 4 points of damage dealt.
Once the damage dealt to break the limb is healed the limb can be used again, though if healed naturally a DC 15 heal check must be made to set the limb straight again or the victim's land speed is reduced by 10 feet (to a minimum speed of 5 feet).
Special Qualities: A broken creature loses most special qualities of the base creature. It retains any extraordinary special qualities that improve its melee or ranged attacks. A broken creature gains the following special qualities.
Crackdown (Ex): A Broken can pulverize its own bones to fit through tight spaces down to half the size of its head without a reduction to speed. This grants it a +30 bonus to Escape Artist checks.
Damage Reduction (Ex): A broken gains damage reduction 5/slashing.
Resistances (Ex): A broken has resistance to cold 10 and electricity 10.
Reconfigure (Ex): A broken takes only half damage from bludgeoning, for whenever its bones are cracked it simply reforms its shape to adapt.
Abilities: Increase from the base creature as follows: Str +4, Dex +4. As an undead creature, a Broken has no Constitution score.
Skills: Broken have a +8 racial bonus on Intimidate checks. Otherwise same as the base creature.
Feats: Same as the base creature.
Environment: Underground.
Organization: Solitary, pair, or inquisition (4-20)
Challenge Rating: Same as the base creature +2.
Treasure: Standard
Alignment: Always chaotic evil.
Advancement: By character class.
Level Adjustment: -Last edited by The Vorpal Tribble; 2008-08-26 at 03:25 PM.
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2006-08-19, 02:39 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: [Template] How fragile we are...
Nice, one thing though, you have called it vase creature in the start but it's base creatue afterwards, so I'll assume that was a typo.
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2006-08-19, 02:52 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: [Template] How fragile we are...
Mechanics first. Does its Agonizing Strike deal +1d6 or +2d6 nonlethal? You have both included, and the stat block (+1d6) generally trumps the text block.
Its Marrow Wring ability is nasty. Can the damage (and disability) be healed with regular magic? Does the condition disappear when the damage heals naturally? Or is it a permanent disability?
Given its 12 Str, why does it have a +2 melee damage bonus? And a +3 melee attack bonus? Is that just one of those times you changed its stats without adjusting its ability scores? ;)
Cry of Agony- a standard action? A free action?
Okay, I think I'm done criticizing. It's an awesome undead. Really creepy- almost Silent Hill creepy. Your description of a creature which, while it has bones, doesn't really care to retain its original skeletal integrity, really sets my skin a-crawlin'. Its fear-producing ability is almost redundant in my mind- it's already gonna scare the heck out of me as a player. And the fact that it really just wants to grab me and tear me limb from limb, that doesn't help.
My girlfriend's running a horror game. I'll send this off to her and see if she's interested in incorporating it. Going with your usual policy, I'll tell you how it massacres the party. ;)That is not dead which can eternal lie
And with strange aeons even death may die.
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2006-08-19, 03:45 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: [Template] How fragile we are...
What action does Cry of Agony take? Also, shouldn't it just have the equivalent of Regeneration(not real Regeneration, as that requires a CON score) that everything except bludeoning damage bypasses, rather than complete immunity to it?
Oh, and GAH!
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2006-08-19, 04:11 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: [Template] How fragile we are...
Ok, all mentioned typos, inconsistencies and the like have been adjusted ;)
Also, shouldn't it just have the equivalent of Regeneration(not real Regeneration, as that requires a CON score) that everything except bludeoning damage bypasses, rather than complete immunity to it?
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2006-08-19, 04:19 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: [Template] How fragile we are...
How creepy.
What would you say if I said that the fastest way to make something Broken is to give it Druid levels?
A broken creature appears much as it did in life, though its back has been snapped and it moves about on all fours while bent over backwards. Its neck is twisted completely out of shape so that despite its posture its head faces rightside up.
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2006-08-19, 04:21 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: [Template] How fragile we are...
Originally Posted by King Steward
Couldn't there be other optional mutilations? Like scars, exposed brains/bones, missing eyes/nose/teeth, long bloody bruises up and down its tattered flesh...
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2006-08-19, 04:28 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: [Template] How fragile we are...
Originally Posted by King StewardThat is not dead which can eternal lie
And with strange aeons even death may die.
Expand for quotes.
Abd's contribution to the Animate/End A World project.
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2006-08-19, 04:34 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: [Template] How fragile we are...
Originally Posted by Abd al-Azrad
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2006-08-19, 04:37 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: [Template] How fragile we are...
VT, sometimes you're amazingly dense. It's okay. We still love you*.
*disclaimer: in an entirely nonphysical, nonromantic, strictly platonic sort of way.Wiki - Q&A - FB - LIn - Tw
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2006-08-19, 04:38 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: [Template] How fragile we are...
Originally Posted by The Vorpal Tribble
Sorry to highjack your monster for an explanation of the joke, but I felt you'd like some form of explanation.
Oh, back on topic: why do they have piercing resistance? They don't have any bones, so it would seem their only weakness is their undead flesh, which is just as generally vulnerable to stabbing as slashing.That is not dead which can eternal lie
And with strange aeons even death may die.
Expand for quotes.
Abd's contribution to the Animate/End A World project.
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2006-08-19, 04:43 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: [Template] How fragile we are...
Originally Posted by Fax_Celestis
I should have gotten it even without the explanation as druids being broken is about the most common discussion outside of katanas...
*sticks his head in a pig*
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2006-08-19, 04:46 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: [Template] How fragile we are...
Originally Posted by The Vorpal TribbleWiki - Q&A - FB - LIn - Tw
d20r Compilation PDF - last updated 9.11.14
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2006-08-19, 04:50 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: [Template] How fragile we are...
Originally Posted by Fax_Celestis
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2006-08-19, 05:13 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: [Template] How fragile we are...
Originally Posted by Fax_Celestis
Am I the only one getting a Voldo type vibe from this thing? Very neat.
I no longer actively read the forums, and probably won't respond to any PMs. I'm fine with people using my homebrew in anything, including fan-compilations and wikis, as long as you credit me.
Homebrew by The Demented One.
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2006-08-19, 05:32 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: [Template] How fragile we are...
Originally Posted by The_Demented_One
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2006-08-19, 05:33 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: [Template] How fragile we are...
Originally Posted by The Vorpal TribbleThat is not dead which can eternal lie
And with strange aeons even death may die.
Expand for quotes.
Abd's contribution to the Animate/End A World project.
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2006-08-19, 05:41 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: [Template] How fragile we are...
The scream in my mind just sounds like the fast zombie screams on halflife 2. These just seem similar to them for some reason.
Cool monster. Freaky especially as breaking people's bones isn't the quickest way to kill someone... :o
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2006-08-19, 05:41 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: [Template] How fragile we are...
Voldo's this weird zombie-type fighter from Soul Calibur who bends in disturbing ways.
I no longer actively read the forums, and probably won't respond to any PMs. I'm fine with people using my homebrew in anything, including fan-compilations and wikis, as long as you credit me.
Homebrew by The Demented One.
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2006-08-19, 05:52 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: [Template] How fragile we are...
Originally Posted by The_Demented_OneWiki - Q&A - FB - LIn - Tw
d20r Compilation PDF - last updated 9.11.14
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2006-08-19, 06:44 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: [Template] How fragile we are...
Originally Posted by Fax_CelestisI no longer actively read the forums, and probably won't respond to any PMs. I'm fine with people using my homebrew in anything, including fan-compilations and wikis, as long as you credit me.
Homebrew by The Demented One.
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2006-08-19, 08:01 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: [Template] How fragile we are...
Does the Death Grip work on anything it grapples? Say, a Gelatinous Cube? :D
Might want to specify that it only works on things with a recognizable anatomy/skeletal structure, or just vulnerable to crits.NOW COMPLETE: Let's Play Starcraft II Trilogy:
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2006-08-19, 08:06 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: [Template] How fragile we are...
Originally Posted by The_Glyphstone
No spine/neck, nothing to twist to death ;)
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2006-08-20, 05:32 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: [Template] How fragile we are...
Awesome beastie. Some of the creepiest undead ever conceived lurk on these forums. It's so Silent Hill. Congrats.
I was considering playing Pyramid Head in an evil campaign once. A fighter with a really big meat cleaver, and a crazy lookin' helmet.Will you take the rocket launcher?
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2006-08-20, 06:00 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: [Template] How fragile we are...
Originally Posted by CockroachTeaPartyThat is not dead which can eternal lie
And with strange aeons even death may die.
Expand for quotes.
Abd's contribution to the Animate/End A World project.
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2006-08-20, 06:07 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: [Template] How fragile we are...
I'll just say that Pyramid Head is a really nasty Goliath.
Will you take the rocket launcher?
A Blog about comics I made as a deranged little boy.
CTP's Guide to Words of Power
CTP's Guide to Mythic Adventures
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2006-08-20, 07:17 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: [Template] How fragile we are...
Originally Posted by The Vorpal Tribble
NOW COMPLETE: Let's Play Starcraft II Trilogy:
Hell, It's About Time: Wings of Liberty
Does This Mutation Make Me Look Fat: Heart of the Swarm
My Life For Aiur? I Barely Know 'Er: Legacy of the Void
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2006-08-20, 07:21 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: [Template] How fragile we are...
Originally Posted by The_Glyphstone
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2006-08-20, 07:22 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: [Template] How fragile we are...
Especially if one's a Druid, and one's a Cleric. :D
NOW COMPLETE: Let's Play Starcraft II Trilogy:
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2006-08-20, 10:56 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: [Template] How fragile we are...
Originally Posted by NullAshton
this is a friggin creepy monster. great concept. reminds me of many things, none of wich i can put my finger on. not that I want to. I'm so going to use it if ever I get the chance.
My colors are Blue/Green. I value versitality, knowledge, evolution, and the nautral world. I have a deep fascination with living things, and a natural talent for adaptation. At my best, I am intuitive and adaptive. At my worst, I am isolated and unsympathetic. My symbol is the twisted tree, and my enemy is Red/Black.