Page 1 of 10 12345678910 LastLast
Results 1 to 30 of 282
  1. - Top - End - #1
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Faulty's Avatar

    Join Date
    Feb 2009

    Default Ridiculous D&D contrivances

    I know fantasy requires a level of suspension of disbelief, but sometimes D&D just goes too damn far. I was just reading Dungeonscape... sharks bred to swim in acid? Really? It's one of the most preposterous and ostentatious things you could possibly put in a dungeon! As if the lack of flesh searing chemicals wasn't enough! Sharks, really? I mean... unless you plan on doing this.

    So, what's your favorite absolutely totally ridiculous thing D&D has ever tried to convince you is a reasonable thing to put in a game?
    Wonder Woman (DC Girls in Sweaters Style) Avatar by Astrella.

    NO FUN. NOT EVER.

    Faulty, now available in other flavours:
    last.fm
    Metal Archives

  2. - Top - End - #2
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    SurlySeraph's Avatar

    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Department of Smiting
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Ridiculous D&D contrivances

    The avatar of Erythnul, God of Slaughter, was a puppy.
    A flying puppy.
    Quote Originally Posted by Thespianus View Post
    I fail to see how "No, that guy is too fat to be hurt by your fire" would make sense.

  3. - Top - End - #3
    Troll in the Playground
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Ridiculous D&D contrivances

    The material component for Bless Water (or the other [ALIGNMENT] water spells) is five pounds of powdered silver. A flask of holy water is one pint. There is simply not enough room to mix the two! You can't do that! I'm okay with most magic. I'll accept conjuring fearsome beasts out of thin air, lighting things on fire with your mind, bringing the dead back to life, turning yourself into a strange new form, sending your friend across the globe in the blink of an eye, any of it. But this isn't magic, this is before the magic happens. Ugh. That just bothers me for some reason.

    Oh, and the fact that all languages are equally easy to learn and that a mere two skill points (or one, for some classes) is enough to instantly, perfectly, fluently master a new language. I know that PCs are legendary heroes and thus Better Than You, but I cringe a little when I think about how my studies of Japanese (I'm a Japanese Major for crying out loud! I'm graduating next month! I've spent years on this and I'm still nowhere near fluent!) counts for less than two skill points (less because I don't have the perfect fluent understanding that Speak Language gives). Grrr.
    In the Beginning Was the Word, and the Word Was Suck: A Guide to Truenamers ALL HAIL KING TORG!

    Quote Originally Posted by Doc Roc View Post
    Gentlefolk, learn from Zaq's example, and his suffering. Remember, seven out of eleven players who use truenamer lose their ability to taste ice cream.
    Do you play 4e? I wrote a guide to Truenamers in 4e as well!
    Here's something I homebrewed. (It's not Truenamer-related, honest.) PEACH!

  4. - Top - End - #4
    Troll in the Playground
     
    MCerberus's Avatar

    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    St. Louis
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Ridiculous D&D contrivances

    Half-Dragon Celestial Bees. I've actually had one of my characters fight them. The sad part is that Half-Dragon Celestial Bees is a rather tame example of template sillyness.
    Ask me about our low price vacation plans in the Elemental Plane of Puppies and Pie
    Spoiler
    Show


    Evoker avatar by kpenguin. Evoker Pony by Dirtytabs. Grey Mouser, disciple of cupcakes by me. Any and all commiepuppies by BRC

    Ask blogs: Screwball and Derpy | Gummy

  5. - Top - End - #5
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Faulty's Avatar

    Join Date
    Feb 2009

    Default Re: Ridiculous D&D contrivances

    Quote Originally Posted by MCerberus View Post
    Half-Dragon Celestial Bees
    I know dragons have a totally different mindset than us, but talk about a weird fetish.
    Wonder Woman (DC Girls in Sweaters Style) Avatar by Astrella.

    NO FUN. NOT EVER.

    Faulty, now available in other flavours:
    last.fm
    Metal Archives

  6. - Top - End - #6
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Thajocoth's Avatar

    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    Campbell CA
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Ridiculous D&D contrivances

    I don't have any more trouble suspending disbelief for any of that stuff than I do for Magic Missile. As a matter of fact, there are things released as April Fool's jokes that I look at and think "You know... The stats actually look balanced to me... I wonder if my players would yell at me if I tossed in a few Flumph Headstabbers..."

    So nothing official has looked too crazy to me.

  7. - Top - End - #7
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Faulty's Avatar

    Join Date
    Feb 2009

    Default Re: Ridiculous D&D contrivances

    Quote Originally Posted by Thajocoth View Post
    I don't have any more trouble suspending disbelief for any of that stuff than I do for Magic Missile. As a matter of fact, there are things released as April Fool's jokes that I look at and think "You know... The stats actually look balanced to me... I wonder if my players would yell at me if I tossed in a few Flumph Headstabbers..."

    So nothing official has looked too crazy to me.
    ?
    Wonder Woman (DC Girls in Sweaters Style) Avatar by Astrella.

    NO FUN. NOT EVER.

    Faulty, now available in other flavours:
    last.fm
    Metal Archives

  8. - Top - End - #8
    Titan in the Playground
     
    chiasaur11's Avatar

    Join Date
    Apr 2008

    Default Re: Ridiculous D&D contrivances

    Quote Originally Posted by Amesoeurs View Post
    ?
    Ah.

    So THAT'S why adventurers are so stab-happy.
    Remember how I was wishing for the peace of oblivion a minute ago?

    Yeah. That hasn't exactly changed with more knowledge of the situation. -Security Chief Victor Jones, formerly of the UESC Marathon.

    X-Com avatar by BRC. He's good folks.

  9. - Top - End - #9
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    KazilDarkeye's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    The Kazilloseum!
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Ridiculous D&D contrivances

    Yeah, but Grells are abberations. They are, by definition, supposed to be a bit weird (to us).

    Bless Water thing
    Yeah, but the spell doesn't say you MIX the silver and water. Maybe the silver blackens and turns to dust as holy (or whatever) energy is transferred from it to the water?
    Icy Fan of Gelugons and proud member of Baatezu Lovers Club

    Thanks to Bradakhan for the custom avatar.


    Spoiler
    Show

    Quote Originally Posted by Raging Gene Ray View Post
    You seem to like summoning monsters and watching them beat the everloving crap out of one another.

    At university. Posting may be affected.

  10. - Top - End - #10
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    monty's Avatar

    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    Fresno (yes, THAT Fresno)
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Ridiculous D&D contrivances

    Quote Originally Posted by KazilDarkeye View Post
    Yeah, but the spell doesn't say you MIX the silver and water. Maybe the silver blackens and turns to dust as holy (or whatever) energy is transferred from it to the water?
    Animate dead, on the other hand...that's a lot of onyx.
    My characters:
    Spoiler
    Show
    Sarah, human gestalt druid/totemist
    Adrian, human rogue
    Calypso, half-nymph human gestalt druid/miscellaneous


  11. - Top - End - #11
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Mando Knight's Avatar

    Join Date
    Dec 2007

    Default Re: Ridiculous D&D contrivances

    Quote Originally Posted by Amesoeurs View Post
    I was just reading Dungeonscape... sharks bred to swim in acid? Really? It's one of the most preposterous and ostentatious things you could possibly put in a dungeon! As if the lack of flesh searing chemicals wasn't enough! Sharks, really?
    ...Our Administrator and Giant wrote that supplement...
    Avatar by Mr. Saturn

    Magic... magic never changes

  12. - Top - End - #12
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    HalflingRangerGuy

    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location

    Default Re: Ridiculous D&D contrivances

    Quote Originally Posted by monty View Post
    Animate dead, on the other hand...that's a lot of onyx.
    I believe by RAW it reaches a point where animating certain creatures requires more onyx gems than will fit inside their head. Also gives you a really easy way to research hit dice (just put in one gem at a time until the spell works, repeating as necessary and taking as many days as required to get all the necessary spells).

    The movement speed always kind of bothered me. I know PCs are above average people, but 30 feet is a lot to move in 6 seconds and still have enough time to cast a spell, attack someone, or do any number of things that are standard actions, or even move actions. And running at 4x speed?

    -JM
    When in doubt, light something on fire.

  13. - Top - End - #13
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    KazilDarkeye's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    The Kazilloseum!
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Ridiculous D&D contrivances

    Quote Originally Posted by Mando Knight
    The Giant
    Technically he only co-wrote it. That might mean he had no part of the Acidborn Shark, and is making fun of his co-author for slipping that in there.

    The movement speed always kind of bothered me. I know PCs are above average people, but 30 feet is a lot to move in 6 seconds and still have enough time to cast a spell, attack someone, or do any number of things that are standard actions, or even move actions. And running at 4x speed?
    30f.t/6 seconds = 5 feet/sec, which is 1.5 m/s (I think). The usual top running speed is roughly 10 m/sec, so they are actually going pretty slow.
    Even at 4x speed, that's only 6m/s
    Last edited by KazilDarkeye; 2009-04-22 at 05:02 PM.
    Icy Fan of Gelugons and proud member of Baatezu Lovers Club

    Thanks to Bradakhan for the custom avatar.


    Spoiler
    Show

    Quote Originally Posted by Raging Gene Ray View Post
    You seem to like summoning monsters and watching them beat the everloving crap out of one another.

    At university. Posting may be affected.

  14. - Top - End - #14
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    GnomeWizardGuy

    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    London
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Ridiculous D&D contrivances

    Quote Originally Posted by monty View Post
    Animate dead, on the other hand...that's a lot of onyx.
    Not in a world where Onyx creates perpetual motion machines.


    Epic level bakers regularly occuring in big cities are one of the things that get me.


    Quote Originally Posted by ZeroNumerous
    A treasure destroying trap sounds like the work of someone who puts items in barrels or at the bottom of a death filled labyrinth.
    Ah, you're starting to get it. Then you dig down and loot the remains. Give them bread and circusses and the proles wont rise against you. Give adventurers dungeons and trapped chests and they won't waste time looking for your home to kill your wife.

  15. - Top - End - #15
    Ogre in the Playground
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Ridiculous D&D contrivances

    Quote Originally Posted by Zaq View Post
    The material component for Bless Water (or the other [ALIGNMENT] water spells) is five pounds of powdered silver. A flask of holy water is one pint. There is simply not enough room to mix the two! You can't do that!
    On the contrary. Silver is approximately ten times denser than water, so five pounds of silver occupy roughly one half pint of volume.

    You'll need a flask that holds more than a pint, yes, but not vastly more.
    My favorite exchange:
    Spoiler
    Show
    Quote Originally Posted by Betty
    If your idea of fun is to give the players whatever they want, then I suggest you take out a board game called: CANDY LAND and use that for your gaming sessions.
    Quote Originally Posted by Dervag
    Obviously, you have never known the frustration of being stranded in the Molasses Swamp.
    _______
    Quote Originally Posted by Mikeavelli View Post
    Physics is a dame of culture and sophistication. She'll take you in, keep you warm at night, provide all kinds of insight into yourself and the world you never find on your own.

  16. - Top - End - #16
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    monty's Avatar

    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    Fresno (yes, THAT Fresno)
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Ridiculous D&D contrivances

    Quote Originally Posted by Who_Da_Halfling View Post
    The movement speed always kind of bothered me. I know PCs are above average people, but 30 feet is a lot to move in 6 seconds and still have enough time to cast a spell, attack someone, or do any number of things that are standard actions, or even move actions. And running at 4x speed?
    I think you are overestimating how far 30 feet is, or underestimating how long 6 seconds is. 30 feet per 6 seconds comes out to about 3.4 miles per hour, which is not all that fast.
    My characters:
    Spoiler
    Show
    Sarah, human gestalt druid/totemist
    Adrian, human rogue
    Calypso, half-nymph human gestalt druid/miscellaneous


  17. - Top - End - #17
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    KazilDarkeye's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    The Kazilloseum!
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Ridiculous D&D contrivances

    Quote Originally Posted by Dervag
    Water silver thing
    And, as I said earlier, you're not necessarily mixing the water and silver.

    Movement speed thing again
    As a corrolary, in order to run faster than 10m/s, you'd need to move over 150f.t. per round, and if you're doing that (it is possible), you're probably flying.
    Last edited by KazilDarkeye; 2009-04-22 at 04:55 PM.
    Icy Fan of Gelugons and proud member of Baatezu Lovers Club

    Thanks to Bradakhan for the custom avatar.


    Spoiler
    Show

    Quote Originally Posted by Raging Gene Ray View Post
    You seem to like summoning monsters and watching them beat the everloving crap out of one another.

    At university. Posting may be affected.

  18. - Top - End - #18
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Waspinator's Avatar

    Join Date
    Apr 2007

    Default Re: Ridiculous D&D contrivances

    The OmegaDex, the complete index to just about everything related to Star Wars Saga Edition.

    "Waspinator not want to be destroyed! Waspinator has plans!"
    -Waspinator, Transformers Beast Wars

    "When was it that the twerps were chosen for this mission?"
    "It was when the mission became scary!"
    -Team Rocket, Pokemon

    "It's not like chess, where choosing to play black or white dictates your entire strategy. Also, chess doesn't have steam cannons."
    -Dragonmech designer

  19. - Top - End - #19
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    TheCountAlucard's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Ridiculous D&D contrivances

    Quote Originally Posted by KazilDarkeye View Post
    As a corrolary, in order to run faster than 10m/s, you'd need to move over 150f.t. per round, and if you're doing that (it is possible), you're probably flying.
    Actually, that wouldn't be too hard. When you run, you move four times your base land speed in one round. A first-level human barbarian could do it.
    Am I insane? I merely see the shape of the world. (Thanks to Gnomish Wanderer for the Malkavian avatar! )

    Wanna see what all this Exalted stuff is about? Here's a primer!

  20. - Top - End - #20
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    KazilDarkeye's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    The Kazilloseum!
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Ridiculous D&D contrivances

    I never said it had to be difficult. The 150 feet thing is an underestimate, caused by laziness and/or not using a very accurate conversion value.
    Even with a barbarian running, it's still only about 11m/s, which is still somewhat reasonable.
    Plus, Barbarians are used to all that stuff. Reading, writing and basic maths, on the other hand...
    Last edited by KazilDarkeye; 2009-04-23 at 12:07 PM.
    Icy Fan of Gelugons and proud member of Baatezu Lovers Club

    Thanks to Bradakhan for the custom avatar.


    Spoiler
    Show

    Quote Originally Posted by Raging Gene Ray View Post
    You seem to like summoning monsters and watching them beat the everloving crap out of one another.

    At university. Posting may be affected.

  21. - Top - End - #21
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    JMobius's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    California
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Ridiculous D&D contrivances

    Contrived things in D&D?

    What about the very existence of the ubiquitous 'dungeon'?

    Or how about even the adventuring profession?

    Avatar courtesy of Szilard

  22. - Top - End - #22
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Olo Demonsbane's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    St. Louis
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Ridiculous D&D contrivances

    Lets see...
    Human Barbarian 1
    Feats:
    Run
    Dash x3
    Flaws:
    Murky-eyed
    Innatentive

    Speed: 30ft + 10ft + 15ft = 55ft
    Using a Run Action: 55 x 5 = 275ft/6 seconds


    On topic, the templates are kind of messed up...I mean, How the heck are there so many half celestials? And Half Dragons? And Half Fiends? Half-Trolls?
    Awesome avatar by the amazing Serpentine!

    Quote Originally Posted by Rogue Shadows View Post
    Spell Mastery. Seriously a Wizard without Spell Mastery is like a Fighter without Weapon Focus: possible, but why?

  23. - Top - End - #23
    Ettin in the Playground
    Join Date
    Jul 2007

    Default Re: Ridiculous D&D contrivances

    Quote Originally Posted by Amesoeurs View Post
    Spoiler
    Show
    Hey, I like grells! They're one of the few things in the original Fiend Folio that didn't totally suck.

    Case in point, the carbuncle.



    It's an armadillo with a gem in its forehead and a hard-on for necrophilia. That's right: the carbuncle is so fascinated by death it makes you fight suicidally. And if you attack the carbuncle itself, it dies and the gem rots. Ha ha, no treasure for you, stupid PCs!

    There's a reason WotC included this loser in their Fool's Grove adventure. Along with the little bunny with the giant unicorn horn.

  24. - Top - End - #24

    Default Re: Ridiculous D&D contrivances

    Quote Originally Posted by Olo Demonsbane View Post
    On topic, the templates are kind of messed up...I mean, How the heck are there so many half celestials? And Half Dragons? And Half Fiends? Half-Trolls?
    I don't understand this one. I don't remember any place saying that there's lots of those half-breeds. There's just as many as the DM wills.

  25. - Top - End - #25
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Faulty's Avatar

    Join Date
    Feb 2009

    Default Re: Ridiculous D&D contrivances

    Quote Originally Posted by KazilDarkeye View Post
    Technically he only co-wrote it. That might mean he had no part of the Acidborn Shark, and is making fun of his co-author for slipping that in there.
    That was my assumption. I don't mean Rich any offense, the quality of his Gaming articles is pretty fantastic, and they should have gotten him to work on more books.

    Quote Originally Posted by Waspinator View Post
    Very nice articles. I think Sea Cats are cool though. >_>
    Wonder Woman (DC Girls in Sweaters Style) Avatar by Astrella.

    NO FUN. NOT EVER.

    Faulty, now available in other flavours:
    last.fm
    Metal Archives

  26. - Top - End - #26
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Eldan's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Switzerland
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Ridiculous D&D contrivances

    Some people here just have no concept of how weird nature itself can actually be...

    Case in point: This. Just ignore the stupid music.
    Extended Brewer's signature

    Strange is the night where black stars rise,
    And strange moons circle through the skies,
    But stranger still is
    Lost Carcosa.


    Quote Originally Posted by Palanan View Post
    I want more mwa-ha-haaa and much less boo-hoo-hoo.

  27. - Top - End - #27

    Default Re: Ridiculous D&D contrivances

    The fact that monks can't dual-wield their bare hands.

  28. - Top - End - #28
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    The Blackbird's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Nebraska, USA
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Ridiculous D&D contrivances

    Two words: Pun Pun
    Spoiler
    Show

    Left-Eye by NamonakiRei
    Stick swordsman of the Kyrie fanclub!
    My bro's homebrew class.

  29. - Top - End - #29
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Tengu_temp's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    Poland
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Ridiculous D&D contrivances

    Quote Originally Posted by Blackbird97 View Post
    Two words: Pun Pun
    I'm sure no official book states that Pun-Pun is a reasonable thing to put in a game.

    Quote Originally Posted by KazilDarkeye View Post
    Technically he only co-wrote it. That might mean he had no part of the Acidborn Shark, and is making fun of his co-author for slipping that in there.
    And even if he actually wrote it down - then what? There's nothing bad in making light-hearted, not serious fun of Giant's creations.

    Siela Tempo by the talented Kasanip. Tengu by myself.
    Super Robot Wars Unification - large-scale mecha game, now recruiting!
    Spoiler
    Show





  30. - Top - End - #30
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    TheCountAlucard's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Ridiculous D&D contrivances

    How about the fact that with one wish, you can get twenty-five thousand tons of firewood, but could only get fifty pounds of platinum? All for the simple reason that one is perceived as being more valuable than the other?
    Last edited by TheCountAlucard; 2009-04-22 at 06:44 PM.
    Am I insane? I merely see the shape of the world. (Thanks to Gnomish Wanderer for the Malkavian avatar! )

    Wanna see what all this Exalted stuff is about? Here's a primer!

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •