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Thread: Misheard spells

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    biggrin Misheard spells

    Due to some response here, and this thread, I've decided to see what similar spells you can come up with!
    Try to keep it as close to the misspelled spell as possible.

    (Also: Mis-spelled is a new descriptor for spells like Cone of Kobolds and Cone of Corpses.)

    Flyerball
    Transmution (Mis-spelled)
    Level: Sor/Wiz 5
    Components: V, S
    Casting time: 1 round
    Range: Medium (100 ft +10 ft/level)
    Area: 20-ft sphere
    Duration: 1 minute/level
    Saving throw: Rexlex negates (harmless)
    SR: Yes (harmless)

    Everyone in the area is covered with reddish feathers and can fly as if they had fly cast on them.
    Material component: A feather, covered with bat guano and sulpher.
    Last edited by GreatWyrmGold; 2009-06-20 at 04:46 PM.
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    Default Re: Misheard spells

    This was a Freudian Slip from a father-to-be during a recent discussion of reduce person:

    Produce Person
    Conjuration (creation, mis-spelled)
    Level: Clr 9, Sor/Wis 9
    Components: V, S, M
    Casting Time: 1 hour
    Range: 5 ft.
    Effect: One created person
    Duration: Instantaneous

    This spell creates one humanoid. You may choose the humanoid's race, gender, height, weight, hair color, eye color, and other physical attributes. If you have a reference, such as a painting or a willing subject, the humanoid can even be a physical duplicate of another person.

    When initially created, the humanoid cannot speak and has limited knowledge of the world around it. For a period of 1 day per 2 caster levels after the casting of this spell, the humanoid is obedient and learns very rapidly. At the end of the first day, the person is a fully-capable first-level NPC, trained in whatever arts have been taught to it. Each subsequent day of training adds an additional level to the person. If no training is provided, the person advances as a commoner. If so desired, the original caster of this spell can end this learning period at any point after the first day.

    Once the initial training period is over, the person becomes fully independent of the caster. At this point the person feels no compunction to obey the caster (or anyone else), though it is friendly to the caster. The caster (or others) may make Diplomacy checks to influence it as normal for an NPC.

    Material Component: An egg.

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    Default Re: Misheard spells

    And, of course, there's most of the incentive comics.

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    smile Re: Misheard spells

    Care to stat any out?

    Meatier swarm
    Conjuration (Creation) (Mis-spelled)
    Level: Sor/Wiz 8

    This spell works as meteor swarm, but deals bludgeoning damage. The meat created lasts permanently and turns the area into difficult terrain. When gathered, the meat can feed 100 Medium creatures (carnivores/omnivores only) for 1 day.
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    Default Re: Misheard spells

    Here's the alternate of Protection from Energy:


    Protection from An Orgy
    Abjuration
    Level: Sor/Wiz 3
    Components: V, S, DF
    Casting Time: 1 standard action
    Range: Touch
    Target: Creature touched
    Duration: 10 min./level or until discharged
    Saving Throw: Will negates
    Spell Resistance: Yes

    During the duration of the spell the subject's genitalia vanishes and becomes smooth skin like a ken doll.

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    Original Spell: Eyebite

    I Bite
    Transmutation [Misspelled]
    Level: Brd 4, Sor/Wis 4
    Components: V, S, M
    Casting Time: 1 standard action
    Range: Touch
    Target: Creature Touched
    Effect: One created person
    Duration: 1 round / level

    This spell causes the targeted creature's palms to morph into giant, gaping maws lined with razor sharp teeth. The creature gains a Bite attack that deals 1d6 damage for each hand the creature has.

    If the targeted creature has no hands, the creature gets eaten grows a second mouth right where its neck is. The creature suffers no disabilities (besides extreme freakishness) from this effect, and gains a Bite attack that deals 1d6 damage. (Note that some creatures, like a horse, will not be able to use this Bite attack).

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    ANTI-WIFE SHELL
    Somthing no married man should be without.

    ENDURE ELEPHANTS
    For those dangerous treks convently underneath all those elephants.

    MAKE HOLE
    Requires a special material component, some T.N.T

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    Misspell Magic
    A successful caster level check (1d20 + caster level, maximum +10) replaces the target's next spell with the one in this thread that its name most resembles.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nero24200 View Post
    ANTI-WIFE SHELL
    Somthing no married man should be without.

    ENDURE ELEPHANTS
    For those dangerous treks convently underneath all those elephants.

    MAKE HOLE
    Requires a special material component, some T.N.T
    Endure Elephants should let you make a fort save to not take damage from any elephant source.

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    Post Re: Misheard spells

    Misspel magic is awesome...
    I came up with a zillion other ideas. I want YOU to make several of them! I'll help, too. Maybe we'll make a Mis-spelled domain? Or a Misspeller class?

    Protection from Lay-offs
    Mall of Fire
    Hall of Thorns
    Tragic Missile
    Blade Blast Fireball
    Acid Smash
    of Frost
    Explosive Rooms
    Messier Planar Ally
    Scrambler
    Disguise Help
    Mold Monster
    Cold Person
    Burning Sands
    Feather Wall
    Hear
    Flame Spike
    Mice Storm
    Stinger of Death
    Find the Wrath
    Fat's Grace
    Flesh to Scone
    Fivesight
    Cliff of Warding
    Waste
    Paste
    Holy Light
    Holy Lord
    Invisibility Merge
    Iron Potty
    Mean Edge
    Walk
    Leomund's Tiny Mutt
    Swish
    Cage Armor
    Page Hand
    Rage Armor
    Sage Hand
    Wage Hand
    Magic Bar
    Tragic Missile
    Snake Whole
    Bark of Justice
    Self's Acid Arrow
    Bending
    Mind Frog
    Purify Memory
    Borsenkainen's Bagnificent Banishing
    Fordenkainen's Fagnificent Fasion
    Lordenkainen's Lagnificent Lashings
    Nystul's Magic Door-a
    Obscuring Hisses
    Order's Math
    Overland White
    Pass Mall
    Permanent "C"
    Grain Shift
    Polymorph Any Subject
    Produce Name
    Mayor
    Protect Image
    Protection from Wells
    Protection from Sparrows
    Prying Flies
    Stench
    Mage
    Raise Shed
    Feed Magic
    Degenerate
    Remove Furs
    Remove Deer
    Reverse Manatee
    Rope Stick
    Rusting Gasp
    Crying
    Lending
    Repia Rake Rigil
    Fepia Fake Figil
    Lepia Lake Ligil
    Shepia Shape Shigil
    Soul Find
    Gout
    Snow
    Solid Frog
    Frog Cloud
    Strike Stones
    Stone Smell
    Funbeam
    Stunburst
    Trap the Bowl
    Benser's Banishation
    Thyme Stop
    Dew Ressurection
    Wall of the Banshee
    Wall of Ironing
    Water Talk
    Saves of Exhaustion
    Feared
    Phone of Truth
    Wind Fall
    Frightening Bolt
    Fasilful Polymorph
    Animate Fred
    Animal Dance
    Bigby's Crushing Sand
    Bigby's Shushing Hand
    Finding
    Spade Barrier
    Color Spay
    Cone of Scold
    Continual Shame
    Creeping Dorm
    Control Feather
    Detect Weevil
    Detect Some Dead
    Evard's Snack Tentacles
    Flame Sparrow
    Threebidance
    Fool Touch
    Heal Metal


    ...and any others you come up with!
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    Detect Weevil
    Gleaner 0
    Adept 1
    An invaluable spell that allows gleaners and other rural, casters to determine the number of weevils in the grain they depend upon for food
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    Now you're attempting to model physics when arguing your case for armor made by a guy who explicitly tells the laws of physics to sit down and shut up whenever he starts tinkering stacking with regular armor. Stop that.
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    Default Re: Misheard spells

    I'll make a few of these.

    Leomund's Tiny Mutt
    Wizard 5
    Conjuration (Creation)

    This spell creates a puppy of tiny size. The creature appears in an extradimensional space, and can only be found by following the leash that appears in the caster's hand. Upon finding it, it can be dragged into normal space.
    The puppy has the stats of a dog, but is of tiny size, has it's strenght reduced to 3 and it's speed reduced to 5 feet. Also, it is naturally blind.


    Find the Wrath
    Wizard 3, Cleric 2
    Diviniation
    Duration: Concentration

    This helpful spell shows the caster the direction and distance to the closest divine caster casting any spell with the word "wrath" in it's name, or the closest creature using rage or a similar ability, if no such caster is within 10 miles.

    Mold Monster
    Transmutation
    Wizard 8

    This spell works like Polymorph any object, but only works on living or undead creatures. Additionaly, it deals 5d6 points of fire damage and 5d6 points of force damage to the target. A creature killed by this spell melts into a puddle of goo.
    Last edited by Eldan; 2009-06-02 at 08:36 PM.
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    Cry

    This spel causes you to weep and sob profusely. As the tears roll down your face you can catch blurry glimpses of whoever or whatever makes you sad, wherever they are on the same plane.

    Goes Sound

    This spell allows you to create any soft noise, however the illusion quickly moves away from you in a direction of your choice at speed of 20ft a round.

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    Leomund's Tiny Mutt is awesome. As is Continual Shame. (Continual Blame might be a good one for a Bard, to make someone else take the blame for his misdeeds.)

    I can't imagine what Reverse Manatee would do, but it's amazingly cool.

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    Fryball

    Conjuration [Misspelled]
    Level: Wizard/Sorcerer 3
    Components: V, S, M
    Casting Time: 1 standard action
    Range: 40 ft 10ft area
    Target: Creature Touched
    Effect: One created person
    Save: Reflex Special (See text)
    Duration: 1 round / level (max 10 rounds)
    Focus: One Frying Pan.

    You conjure a ball of vegetable or animal oil that's boiling hot. You then make a ranged touch attack against one creature of your choice. That creature takes 1d6/level fire damage (max 10d6), and must make a reflex save or fall prone. Additionaly, all creatures on the radius take half damage, and must make the reflex save. For 1 round/CL the affected area is slippery and is affected as per a Grease spell.

    This spell can also deep fry any animal/vegetable matter of your choice instantly, and the food bestows 1 point of magic healing.

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    Default Re: Misheard spells

    I was thinking about starting a thread like this when I misread Dessicating Sphere as Defeccating (sp?) Sphere

    Defeccating Sphere
    Sor/Wiz 2, Druid 2
    Duration: Concentration

    This spell creates a large ball of animal matter. Each round, the ball can make a jet of poop shoot out at a target within 10 feet. Attack bonus is equal to your caster level, and it is a touch attack. If it hits, the target must make a Fortitude save DC or be nauseated for 1 round.

    Oh, and...

    Tragic Missile
    Sor/Wiz 1

    This spell causes your foe to cry for 1d4 turns giving him a 20% miss chance when attacking.
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    Day of Frost - this spell causes the next 24 hour period to have an average temperature of 32 degrees Fahrenheit.

    Couch of Fatigue - this spell only affects on sitting or reclining target, causing them be unable to get up if they fall a Will save. Material Component - a strange wand with many multi-colored buttons. When fiddled with, the affected target sees distracting minor images that take away their will to get up off of the couch of fatigue.

    Rending - the opposite of Mending. This spell is something used to remove clothing quickly.

    Massage - an Orc masseuse (technically masseur, since it's a boy Orc) appears and flings the target facedown on the ground, beginning a 30 minute massage routine that ends with the Orc walking on their back. There is no happy ending.

    Sage Armor - the targets armor is temporarily transformed into a scholar's outfit. This could be useful, for someone who isn't expected to be greeting the King clad in platemail. This could be terrible, for someone who is in the middle of a fight...

    Protection from Food - the target gets DR 25 vs. all items of food and drink. Unfortunately, the target can't eat or drink anything either, without shoving it into his mouth forcefully enough to do 25 pts of damage to himself. It lasts 1 day.

    Burning Wands - all magical wands within 30 ft. immediately burst into flames, which does not destroy the wands (although each loses 1 charge from the depletion of magical energy), but does inflict 1d6 fire damage to anyone holding them at the time.

    Floating **** - this spell creates a small floating Englishman with a pipe, greatcloak and floppy hat, who has a +10 modifier to Search, Gather Information and Sense Motive checks.

    Shocking Grass - the 'companion spell' to Entangle, this causes native vegetation within a 10 ft. radius circle within Close range to become electrified, inflicting 1d6 Electrical damage per round to all within the area of effect for 1 round / level.

    Dolor Spray - anyone struck by this bleak monochromatic cone of ennui-inducing energy must make a Will save or stop caring about anything and being unresponsive to any stimuli for 1d6 rounds. Material component is black guyliner and a clove cigarette.

    Disguise Elf - this spell can make any elf look like any non-elven humanoid of the same size. General features will not change, so that someone very familiar with the target may still recognize them. The subject gets a +10 bonus to Disguise checks where not being an elf would be a factor.

    Heather Fall - the falling subject turns into a petite blonde cheerleader named Heather, who automatically succeeds her Acrobatics check to reduce falling damage by 10 ft. from any fall. She has 6 hit points, and dies with a shriek upon reaching 0 hit points, transforming back into the original subject, who takes any falling damage over 6 hit points. If she survives, she still reverts back to the subject, who can take a normal action on their turn, as if they had not fallen at all.

    Engorge Person - the affected target gains all the penalties of the next larger Size, but gains no bonus to Strength or extended Reach. The target suffers a -2 penalty to Dexterity, a -10 ft. penalty to movement speed (minimum 5 ft.) and all Armor Check Penalties are doubled, as his clothing no longer fits.

    Rue Strike - the next person who strikes the caster really, really regrets it, and spends their next round's action apologizing profusely (able only to make a single 5 ft. step and take the Total Defense action) unless they make a Will save. Whether they save or not, they suffer a -2 to attack and damage rolls against the caster for the next minute, as they feel really, really bad about attacking the caster.

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    Thumbs up Re: Misheard spells

    Quote Originally Posted by Eldan View Post
    Mold Monster
    Transmutation
    Wizard 8

    This spell works like Polymorph any object, but only works on living or undead creatures. Additionaly, it deals 5d6 points of fire damage and 5d6 points of force damage to the target. A creature killed by this spell melts into a puddle of goo.

    I was thinking "mold" as in the fungus, but, still, good job!
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    Default Re: Misheard spells

    Couch of Fatigue and Dolor Spray would be good for my Beige Dragons. If you turn them into complete spell descriptions then I will add them to the list and link them.
    Last edited by DracoDei; 2009-06-06 at 12:36 PM.
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    Fireballs.
    Works like Fireball, but male characters make no save to halve the damage.
    They do a save to put off their pants.

    A Restore or Heal spell can recover their abilities to have descendents.

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    Never done a home brew, but I have a misheard spell "Dorkvision"

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    Beware the Gooberry...

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    PLEASEpleasepleasepleasePLEASE!!! someone do of frost. Or scorching ...or polar ...or something!

    Also opening up the floor for misspelled monsters!

    The misspelled subtype
    This subtype includes all creatures with a misspelled spell as a spell-like ability. It also includes other monsters (Misplacer Beast, Fire Bear, Fire Wellimental, etc).
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    Polar Roy
    Evocation [Cold, Misheard]
    Level: Sor/Wiz 8
    Components: V, S, F
    Casting Time: 1 standard action
    Range: Close (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels)
    Effect: Falling frozen humanoid
    Duration: Instantaneous
    Saving Throw: None
    Spell Resistance: Yes

    A dark-skinned single-class fighter frozen in a block of ice falls from the sky, dealing 1d6 damage per caster level. Half of this damage is cold damage, half of it is bludgeoning damage. Upon striking the target, the ice shatters, dealing 3d6 piercing damage to the target, and freeing the Fighter from his imprisonment. Upon being released, he verbally abuses someone named 'Elan' and then vanishes.

    Arcane Focus: A print copy of any Order of the Stick book or strip.
    Last edited by RelentlessImp; 2009-06-08 at 07:31 PM.
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    Quote Originally Posted by RelentlessImp View Post
    A dark-skinned single-class fighter frozen in a block of ice falls from the sky, dealing 1d6 damage per caster level. Half of this damage is cold damage, half of it is bludgeoning damage. Upon striking the target, the ice shatters, dealing 3d6 piercing damage to the target, and freeing the Fighter from his imprisonment. Upon being released, he verbally abuses someone named 'Elan' and then vanishes.


    What a freakish coincidence.

    In the last campaign I ran, one of the bad guys killed one of the players (a dwarf fighter/monk) with cold damage, dropping him into -60 territory. Because it fit with the NPC's "cold + transformation" theme, I ruled that the player's corpse was frozen in a block of ice. The half-dragon paladin hopped on top, flew just high enough to lift it off the ground, and ordered the party wizard to dimension door them above the enemy.

    The block came crashing down, smushed the enemies, and took just enough damage to crack open, releasing the corpse, which was promptly revivified by the party cleric. He started cursing out his party-mates for manhandling (dwarf-handling?) him and stomped off to skulk.

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    Quote Originally Posted by abadguy View Post
    Darn you PoDL for making me care about a bunch of NPC Commoners!
    Quote Originally Posted by Chambers View Post
    I'm pretty sure turning Waterdeep into a sheet of glass wasn't the best win condition for that fight. We lived though!
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    biggrin Re: Misheard spells

    Quote Originally Posted by RelentlessImp View Post
    Polar Roy
    Evocation [Cold, Misheard]
    Level: Sor/Wiz 8
    Components: V, S, F
    Casting Time: 1 standard action
    Range: Close (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels)
    Effect: Falling frozen humanoid
    Duration: Instantaneous
    Saving Throw: None
    Spell Resistance: Yes

    A dark-skinned single-class fighter frozen in a block of ice falls from the sky, dealing 1d6 damage per caster level. Half of this damage is cold damage, half of it is bludgeoning damage. Upon striking the target, the ice shatters, dealing 3d6 piercing damage to the target, and freeing the Fighter from his imprisonment. Upon being released, he verbally abuses someone named 'Elan' and then vanishes.

    Arcane Focus: A print copy of any Order of the Stick book or strip.
    YES!!! Someone did it!
    I'm the GWG from Bay12 and a bunch of other places.

    Quote Originally Posted by The Blade Wolf View Post
    Ah, thank you very much GreatWyrmGold, you obviously live up to that name with your intelligence and wisdom with that post.
    Quotes, more

    Negative LA Assignment Thread
    The Tale of Demman, Second King of Ireland, a CKII AAR, won a WritAAR of the Week award. Winner of Villainous Competition 8
    Fanfic

    Avatar by Recaiden.

  27. - Top - End - #27
    Colossus in the Playground
     
    Eldan's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Switzerland
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Misheard spells

    Roy Deflection? Twin Roy? Split Roy?
    I solemnly swear,
    To devote my life and abilities,
    In defence of the United Nations of Earth,
    To defend the Constitution of Man,
    And to further the universal rights of all sentient life.
    From the depths of the pacific, to the edge of the galaxy.
    For as long as I shall live.

  28. - Top - End - #28
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Amiel's Avatar

    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Location
    Melbourne, Australia
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Misheard spells

    Refuse
    Conjuration (Teleportation)

    Level: Clr 7, Sor/Wiz 9
    Components: V, S, M
    Casting Time: 1 standard action
    Range: Touch
    Target: Object touched
    Duration: Permanent until discharged
    Saving Throw: None
    Spell Resistance: No

    You create powerful garbage. This strongly nauseating object contains the power of offensive stench and vile odor and may be instantly transported across any distance within the same plane to another's abode; it can be used both as a warning and a practical joke, it's versatile like that.

    The garbage may be given willingly to a creature along with the command word or words used to activate its power. To make use of the object, the subject speaks the special phrase. When this is done, the individual and all items it is wearing along with the party (if the case may be) are instantly dumped by a torrent of a barrage of steaming revolting garbage

    This torrent may be made permanent with the permanency spell.

    Material Component

    One bottle of garbage juice.


    Power Word Krill
    Enchantment (Compulsion) [Death, Mind-Affecting]
    Level: Sor/Wiz 9, War 9
    Components: V
    Casting Time: 1 standard action
    Range: Close (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels)
    Target: One living creature with 100 hp or less
    Duration: Instantaneous
    Saving Throw: None
    Spell Resistance: Yes

    You utter a single word of power that instantly fills one creature of your choice with krill causing that creature to burst from the excess seafood; whether the creature can hear the word or not is irrelevant.

    Additionally, you may wish to forego that utterance and cause a targeted creature of your choice to experience a deep longing insatiable appetite for tiny crustaceans. The creature so targeted must eat until bursting or until she experiences a severe allergic reaction going into anaphylaxis whichever comes first.

    Material Component

    A single krill
    To see the world in a grain of sand
    and Heaven in a wild flower
    To hold infinity in the palm of your hand
    and eternity in an hour.

    - William Blake, Auguries of Innocence

  29. - Top - End - #29
    Titan in the Playground
     
    DracoDei's Avatar

    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Near Atlanta,GA USA
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Misheard spells

    Powerword Krill should only be mind-effecting or a compulsion when the spell is used in the second mode.
    [Public Service Announcement]P.E.A.C.H stands for Please Examine And Critique Honestly[/Public Service Announcement]
    Extended Signature
    My Homebrew is meant to be used, but, if you do, PLEASE tell me how it goes.

  30. - Top - End - #30
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Amiel's Avatar

    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Location
    Melbourne, Australia
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Misheard spells

    It's a literal bursting coupled with or going into anaphylactic shock (causing death) brought about by a severe allergic reaction.
    To see the world in a grain of sand
    and Heaven in a wild flower
    To hold infinity in the palm of your hand
    and eternity in an hour.

    - William Blake, Auguries of Innocence

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