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Thread: Misheard spells

  1. - Top - End - #91
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    Grope of fire XD nice images, i may have to use Mordenkainen's Lubrication ;)
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    Cone of Bold

    Everyone caught in the cone will become more reckless and more likely to take hasty decisions.

    Ray of cost

    Causes a character, hit with the ray, to lose 10gp*caster level. The gp's just vanish.
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    Calm Danimals, your force yogurt to make a save, or be completely entranced by you.
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  4. - Top - End - #94
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    Hope this thread isn't too old at 11 days...

    Rary's Pneumonic Enhancer: +2 to all fort saves related to breathing, +2 rounds holding breath as per the drowning rules.

    In turn misheard as...

    Rary's Pneumatic Enhancer: Chosen portion of target's anatomy becomes inflated with air.

    And from there...

    Rary's Pneumatic Enchanter: Created inflatable dummy can cast up to third-level Sor/Wiz spells of the Enchantment school (CL5). Total 2 SLs*/level. Conjuration/Creation, but caster must not have the Enchantment school barred.

    Not so much anymore on the "misheard" front, but from these the inspiration is obvious to develop spells such as Pneumatic Evoker, Pneumatic Illusionist, etc.

    *i.e. a first-level spell costs one such "point", a second-level spell costs two; zero-level spells cost one half. Once these are exhausted, a hole appears and it deflates comically. The deflated dummy can be reused as a material component in a later casting of the spell.
    Last edited by Random832; 2009-08-23 at 06:23 PM.

  5. - Top - End - #95
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    Sneak with Dead

    +10 to hide checks if you are carrying a corpse/skeleton
    +5 to hide checks if you are carrying part of a corpse/skeleton (skull, legbone, etc.).

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    Tasha's Hideout Slaughter

    The spell targets a hideout (the DM's jurisdiction on what constitutes a hideout. A dungeon can be a hideout, but a public location is not.) Every creature in the hideout takes 1d6 damage per caster level (Fortitude half).
    Material Component: A scale model of the hideout (1gp per 10 square feet), which is crushed during the casting of the spell.

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    Ball of Iron
    Conjuration (Creation)
    Level: Sor/Wiz 4
    Components: V, S, M
    Casting Time: 1 standard action
    Range: Medium (100 ft. + 10 ft./level)
    Effect: See text
    Duration: 1 round/level
    Saving Throw: None
    Spell Resistance: No

    This spell summons a large sphere of solid iron. The sphere's diameter is as follows:
    CL <10: 10ft (Large)
    CL 10-15: 15ft (Huge)
    CL 16-20: 20ft (Gargantuan)
    CL 21+: 30ft (Colossal)
    The caster may choose to summon a smaller sphere than the maximum size he is able. The caster chooses a direction in which the sphere will roll. The sphere moves in that direction at a speed of 60ft/round, initiating Overrun attempts against every creature it encounters, with a Strength bonus equal to half the caster level (round down). Treat the sphere as having the Improved Overrun feat. The sphere deals 3d6+CL bludgeoning damage against any opponent it successfully overruns.
    A creature that successfully resists the Overrun attempt may choose a new direction for the sphere's movement.
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    Quote Originally Posted by cha0s4a11 View Post
    Sneak with Dead

    +10 to hide checks if you are carrying a corpse/skeleton
    +5 to hide checks if you are carrying part of a corpse/skeleton (skull, legbone, etc.).
    What level is this, and why doesn't it apply to move silently checks as well?

    Quote Originally Posted by Blue Ghost View Post
    Tasha's Hideout Slaughter
    (1gp per 10 square feet).
    Are you sure you don't mean 10 foot square? Because it makes a difference of an order of magnitude...
    Last edited by DracoDei; 2009-08-23 at 10:41 PM.
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  9. - Top - End - #99
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    From the 9th level Sorcerer/Wizard list;

    Mate This spell conjures up a being of your CR rating who is of the sex you are attracted to and kinda/sorta might do what you say, most of the time, after 1d4 rounds of 'discussion.'

    Gish You gain a BAB equal to your caster level, and can *choose* to replace any or all metamagic / item creation / spell mastery feats with feats chosen from the Fighter list as if you were a Fighter of your caster level. Unlike Mage's Transformation, you retain full casting ability.

    [and the 7th level version]
    Lesser Gish You gain a BAB equal to your caster level -3, and automatically replace all spell mastery, item creation and metamagic feats with feats chosen from the Fighter list as if you were a Fighter of 1/2 your caster level. Unlike Mage's Transformation, you retain your spellcasting ability, but your effective caster level is reduced by 3.

    Refuse This variation on Mage's Disjunction affects only non-magical items within the affected area, turning them into worthless and unusable garbage. Unattended items get no saving throw, but the entire item must fit within the area of effect. (A door, for instance, would rot and fall apart. The wall it is attached to would be unaffected, because it continues out of the spells area of effect.)

    Shapes This variation on Shades creates a quasi-real transmutation effect that can duplicate any item or person affecting transmutation spell. The effect expires are the end of the spells duration, although any damage the transformed matter has suffered while transformed (but not as a result of the transformation itself) remains.
    Last edited by Set; 2009-08-23 at 10:59 PM.

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    Mordenkainen's Injunction:
    Allows you to get a court order against high-level arcanists.
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  11. - Top - End - #101
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    Apologies for the lack of fleshing out, but as basic ideas:

    Fowls Wisdom (T)

    Grants the target the wisdom of a chicken.

    Stocking Grasp (V)

    Turns the casters hand into a sock puppet, with which it may attempt a touch attack for 1D2/level cotton damage.

    Deaf Armour (N)

    Causes the targets armour to become deaf. Stopping the wearer from activating any special abilities it may contain.

    Ghostly Vintage (I)

    Creates an ethereal bottle of port, wine or champagne of a vintage of the casters choosing.

    See divisibility (D)

    Allows the caster to see any whole number divisor of any number presented to them for 5 rounds.

    Keen Hedge (T)

    Summons a hedgerow 8' long by 1' thick by 4' high. This hedgerow is particularly astute.

    CloudKrill

    Summons a particularly large cloud of krill.

  12. - Top - End - #102

    Default Re: Misheard spells

    Tragic Vestment
    Clr 2
    You imbue a piece of clothing with tragedy. Anyone wearing them gains +5 on any Knowledge(Shakespeare) checks.

  13. - Top - End - #103
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    Not so much misheard as misinterpreted
    * [Air]plane Shift.
    * Melf's LSD Arrow.
    * Horrible [fashion] Taste
    * Drawmij's Instant Summons. Drawmij had a lesser-known second career as a process server

    And misread
    * Wall of the Banshee
    * Globe of Invincibility (creates a three-dimensional map of the world sharing some characteristics with a certain Armoire)
    * righteous wraith of the faithful

    Transpositions
    * Imbue spell with familiar ability.
    * Melf's Meteoric Minutes - fifteen minutes of fame
    * Movement of Freedom
    * Faith of the Handful
    * Hellish Host / Heavenly Horde
    * Transmute mud to mud / Transmute rock to rock
    Last edited by Random832; 2009-08-24 at 04:40 PM.

  14. - Top - End - #104
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    Quote Originally Posted by quick_comment View Post
    Tragic Vestment
    Clr 2
    You imbue a piece of clothing with tragedy. Anyone wearing them gains +5 on any Knowledge(Shakespeare) Perform (tragedy) checks.
    Fixed. Because not every dramatist makes comedy; tragedy is valuable too.

    Plus...it kinda makes more sense, in the lack of it.
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  15. - Top - End - #105
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    Crowd Kill

    Disperses swarms.


    Rhyme Stop

    Prevents rhyming for 1d4+1 rounds.


    Dispel Tragic

    Gives everyone a happy ending.


    Imprismment

    Traps the target in a prism.


    Shapechance

    Allows the caster to change the shape of his dice.


    Etheralmess

    Travel to messy part of the Etherial plane.


    Astral Projection

    Astral appears before you to give helpful advice and look cute.


    Fish

    Creates 25,000 gp of fish.


    Limited Fish

    Creates fewer fish.


    Wired

    Lets you hear everything the subject hears.


    Soul Blind

    Summons Ray Charles.


    Energy Dream

    The subject falls asleep and has a dream about getting level drained and dying.


    Wall of the Banshee

    Conjures a thick wall that blocks Wail of the Banshee.


    hades

    Sends the target to Hell.


    Meteor Smarm

    Meteors deal 6d6 sleaze damage.


    Crushing Band

    Kills 1 marching band/level.


    Power Word Bill

    Summons a yellow-clad female assassin with a katana to kill the target.


    Hold Monster Mass

    Gathers monsters in prayer.


    Dominant Monster

    A monster tells you what to do.


    Foursight

    Makes the target require glasses.


    Teleportation Circlet

    Conjures a circlet that lets you cast Teleport at will.


    Summon Monster MIX

    Summons monster-themed candy.


    Refuse

    Alters item to transport its posessor to the nearest tip.


    Late

    Makes everyone around you late for appointments.


    Prismatic Beer

    As prismatic wall, but contained in a mug as liquid.


    Sage's Disjunction

    Dispels sage.


    Freedome

    Conjures a stone dome atop the nearest roof.

  16. - Top - End - #106
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    Dish: Creates one plate/bowl/etc of any material, such as fine china or sturdy ceramic stoneware.

    Limited Dish: Creates one plate/bowl/etc of paper, plastic, or Corelle®.

    Magic Missive: As sending, but no word limit.

    Rages' Disjunction: Immediately end any rage or frenzy of any character within a 40' radius, and remove all of such characters' remaining rage or frenzy uses per day.

    Pages' Disjunction: All pages of books within a 40' radius are turned into their components (ink and woodpulp, papyrus pulp, parchment, or vellum.) Covers are left intact to be returned to the publisher. Caution: Not to be used by or within a 40' radius of any assistant of a Knight or Congressperson.

    Cages' Disjunction: I think you see where I'm going with this. For clarity, this also works on forcecage and Xykon's moderately escapable forcecage, and on cardboard boxes with bars in the windows (but not without).

    Wages' Disjunction: we're done here.

    Age's Disjunction: I SAID we're done.

    Summon Monster ID: this is a 499th-level spell, so you probably can't cast it, so you don't need to know
    Last edited by Random832; 2009-08-24 at 05:04 PM.

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    Animal Cracker Shapes
    Transmutation
    Level: Animal 7, Drd 8
    Components: V, DF
    Casting Time: 1 standard action
    Range: Close (25 ft. +5 ft/2 levels)
    Target: One creature per level
    Duration: Instantaneous
    Saving throw: Yes (Will negates)
    Spell Resistance: Yes

    You transform one creature per caster level into an animal cracker of your choice. The maximum HD of an assumed form is equal to the subject’s HD or your caster level, whichever is lower, to a maximum of 20 HD at 20th level.

    The verbal component is that the caster must sing Animal Crackers In My Soup Lyrics/Music T. Koehler & I. Caesar/R. Henderson.
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  18. - Top - End - #108
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    Quote Originally Posted by Random832 View Post
    Rages' Disjunction: Immediately end any rage or frenzy of any character within a 40' radius, and remove all of such characters' remaining rage or frenzy uses per day.

    Pages' Disjunction: All pages of books within a 40' radius are turned into their components (ink and woodpulp, papyrus pulp, parchment, or vellum.) Covers are left intact to be returned to the publisher. Caution: Not to be used by or within a 40' radius of any assistant of a Knight or Congressperson.

    Cages' Disjunction: I think you see where I'm going with this. For clarity, this also works on forcecage and Xykon's moderately escapable forcecage, and on cardboard boxes with bars in the windows (but not without).

    Wages' Disjunction: we're done here.

    Age's Disjunction: I SAID we're done.
    Umm...Sage's Disjunction?

    Sage's Disjunction
    Transmutation (Death, Misheard)
    Level: Bard 6, Sor/Wiz 9
    Components: V, Truename
    Casting Time: 1 standard action
    Range: Close (25 ft. + 5 ft./level)
    Target: One intelligent creature of Int 12 or higher/level
    Duration: Instantaneous
    Saving Throw: Will partial (object)
    Spell Resistance: No

    All intelligent creatures with an Intelligence score of 12 or higher have their brains or thought processes disjoined into their base components. Starting with the creature with the highest Int score, each creature must succeed on a Will save or die instantly, as its brain is dissolved completely and the base components bleed from the ears. A successful Will save causes the creature to be only partially affected by the spell, receiving damage equal to 1d6 per point of Intelligence modifier. This spell can affect intelligent creatures without brains; in that case, the equivalent thought-processing organ, glyph, or object is disjoined instead. The caster is not immune to the effect of the spell; it must make a save or die instantly. The caster's allies are not immune to the effect, as well. Mind Blank and immunity to mind-affecting effects does not protect against this spell. This spell is not language dependant.

    Truename Component: The caster must succeed on a Truename check equal to its own Intelligence score + 10, as it attempts to make a joke so bad, it insults intelligence.
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  19. - Top - End - #109
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    Dimensional Dock

    Blocks dimensional travel for boats.


    Mind Bank

    Stores 1 mind/level.


    Prisonattic Wall

    Conjures a wall from the top floor of a prison.


    Protection from Bells

    Confers +8 resistance bonus to cheap whiskey.


    Incendiary Clown

    Conjures a clown suicide bomber.


    Summon Monster VIllain

    Summons the BBEG. He may be pissed.


    Trap the Sole

    Sticks the bottom of the target's shoe to the floor.


    Discerning Location

    Poorly dressed creatures cannot enter touched building.


    Moment of Preshool-Science

    A Magic Mouth appears and gives a short explanation of a requested scientific concept, aimed at children so that even the fighter can understand.


    Irresistable Dunce

    Target's int and wis drop to 3, and his cha rises to 30.


    Power Word Fun

    Creature with 150HP or less has a good time.


    Symbol of Inanity

    Triggered rune renders nearby creatures annoyingly puerile.

  20. - Top - End - #110
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    Honorable mention, these being feats (but all are Wizard feats, anyway - well, one's a Bard feat) rather than spells

    Scribe Skrull

    Indivisible Spell

    Sub-duel Substitution

    Scared Spell

    This guy's Spell
    Last edited by Random832; 2009-08-27 at 10:00 AM.

  21. - Top - End - #111
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    Quote Originally Posted by Random832 View Post
    Rary's Pneumatic Enhancer: Chosen portion of target's anatomy becomes inflated with air.

    And from there...
    That's how breast size enhancement cllinics were created.

    Rary's Pneumatic Enchanter: Created inflatable dummy can cast up to third-level Sor/Wiz spells of the Enchantment school (CL5). Total 2 SLs*/level. Conjuration/Creation, but caster must not have the Enchantment school barred.
    I cast magic missile Charm Person.

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    Prismatic Sphere Pier
    Abjuration(Misheard)
    Level: Protection 9, Sor/Wiz 9, Sun 9
    Components: V
    Casting Time: 1 standard action
    Range: Close (25 ft. + 5 ft./level)
    Effect: Pier 4 ft./level long, 2 ft./level wide
    Duration: 10 min./level (D)
    Saving Throw: See Text
    Spell Resistance: See Text

    This spell functions like prismatic wall, except you conjure up an immobile, opaque pier. The pier flashes in all colors of the visible spectrum.

    The colors of the pier have the same effects as the colors of a prismatic wall.

    Prismatic pier can be made permanent with a permanency spell.

    Change Staff
    Transmutation
    Level: Office 6
    Components: V, S, F
    Casting Time: 1 standard action
    Range: Touch
    Target: Your touched staff
    Duration: 1 hour/level (D)
    Saving Throw: Will negates
    Spell Resistance: Yes

    You change a member of your staff in to a hard working employee.


    oh and can't forget Bards and Wards, Nice Storm, Clean Edge & Mail of the Banshee (affects one creature within range of your chosen postal service)
    Last edited by Androgeus; 2009-08-27 at 10:08 AM.
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  23. - Top - End - #113
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    How about Bards and Zords?


    Protection from normal missives - allows you to ignore any letter that is sent through the postal service rather than via a courier.

    Prismatic Gear - All of your equipment flashes in all colors of the visible spectrum.

    Remove Purse - wands of this one are popular with thieves.

    Legend of Lore - you learn a story about an evil construct from a strange world. It probably has no relevance to your life.

    Cure Wight Wounds - immediately reverse all damage and energy drain caused by Wights.

    Mage's Spork

    Bear's Grace / Cat's Strength / Bull's Cunning / Fox's Splendor / Owl's Endurance

  24. - Top - End - #114
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    Not technically a spell, but it really happened:

    Flavoured Soul

    The target's soul becomes incredibly tasty. Any creature dealing damage to one of the creature's mental ability scores or draining or damaging it's levels must immediately make a will save or be overwhelmed by the taste and stunned for 1 round/level. If a creature also gains a bonus from doing this, such as healing hit points, it has a -4 to it's save. If it actually devours the creature's soul, so that it can't be resurrected (i.e. Barghest), the stun effect is permanent and only removed by a break enchantment spell, wish, or remove curse.
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  25. - Top - End - #115
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    They should get a moral bonus to hit the creature in future perhaps...
    Perhaps a note encouraging GMs to have them favor to attack that creature again. You could take further and make it a Will save to avoid attacking them, but that might be a bit much.
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  26. - Top - End - #116
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    Magic Gristle (Magic Missile)
    Power Word Grill (Power Word Kill)
    Slay Lemming (Slay Living)
    Binge-full Gays of God (Vengeful Gaze of God)

    Not touching the last one. Sorry.

  27. - Top - End - #117
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    Make Hole.
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