Does anyone know what the stats for a Gazebo is?

[Shinizak]

One of my players is asking for it....

>=]

[Hat-Trick]

Str - -
Dex - -
Con - -
Int - -
Wis - -
Cha - -

Combat:
Do nothing- The Gazebo does nothing.

[Cedrass]

This gag is a classic.

Too bad my player's never fell for any gag of the sort :(

[shadzar]

You mean this?

Eric and the Gazebo
ROLE-PLAYING GAMES SIG

by Richard Aronson

Let us cast our minds back to the early days of fantasy role-playing... In the early '70s, Ed Whitechurch ran "his game," and one of the participants was Eric Sorenson, a veritable giant of a man. This story is essentially true: I knew both Ed and Eric, and neither denies it (although Eric, for reasons that will become apparent, never repeats it).

The gist of it is that Eric... well, you need a bit more about Eric.

Eric comes quite close to being a computer. When he games, he methodically considers each possibility before choosing his preferred option. If given time, he will invariably pick the optimum solution. It has been known to take weeks. He is otherwise in all respects a superior gamer, and I've spent many happy hours competing with and against him, as long as he is given enough time.

So... Eric was playing a neutral paladin (Why should only lawful, good religions get to have holy warriors? was the rationale) in Ed's game. He even had a holy sword, which fought well and did all those things holy swords are supposed to do, including good or evil (by random die roll). He was on some lord's lands when the following exchange occurred:

ED: You see a well-groomed garden. In the middle, on a small hill, you see a gazebo.
ERIC: A gazebo? What color is it?
ED: (Pause) It's white, Eric.
ERIC: How far away is it?
ED: About 50 yards.
ERIC: How big is it?
ED: (Pause) It's about 30 feet across, 15 feet high, with a pointed top.
ERIC: I use my sword to detect whether it's good.
ED: It's not good, Eric. It's a gazebo!
ERIC: (Pause) I call out to it.
ED: It won't answer. It's a gazebo!
ERIC: (Pause) I sheathe my sword and draw my bow and arrows. Does it respond in any way?
ED: No, Eric. It's a gazebo!
ERIC: I shoot it with my bow (rolls to hit). What happened?
ED: There is now a gazebo with an arrow sticking out of it.
ERIC: (Pause) Wasn't it wounded?
ED: Of course not, Eric! It's a gazebo!
ERIC: (Whimper) But that was a plus-three arrow!
ED: It's a gazebo, Eric, a gazebo! If you really want to try to destroy it, you could try to chop it with an axe, I suppose, or you could try to burn it, but I don't know why anybody would even try. It's a @#%$*& gazebo!
ERIC: (Long pause - he has no axe or fire spells) I run away.
ED: (Thoroughly frustrated) It's too late. You've awakened the gazebo, and it catches you and eats you.
ERIC: (Reaching for his dice) Maybe I'll roll up a fire-using mage so I can avenge my paladin...

At this point, the increasingly amused fellow party members restored a modicum of order by explaining what a gazebo is. This is solely an afterthought, of course, but Eric is doubly lucky that the gazebo was not situated on a grassy knoll.

[Reprinted from the SIG's fall '87 Spellbook #13, edited by Corey and Lori Cole, via Mensanity, Lewis Wasserman, ed. Send your compliments to the author along with your subscription to the SIG newsletter ($8) in care of L Mary H. Kelly, 4030 Valley View Lane #233, Farmers Branch, TX 75244.]

[Starscream]

A comedy classic. Ranks up there with "I attack the darkness!".

And yes, the stats of the gazebo have been released. And as Open Game Content no less!

Spoiler

Show

Go wild.

[shadzar]

Strange, it should have immunity to arrow attacks, and be vulnerable to fire and axes..

[Shinizak]

Strange, it should have immunity to arrow attacks, and be vulnerable to fire and axes..

It should have immunity to everything BUT axes and fire...

[yilduz]

Strange, it should have immunity to arrow attacks, and be vulnerable to fire and axes..

Hahaha... good point.

[Pharaoh's Fist]

What about termites?

[Shinizak]

God killers, they are...

[Starscream]

What I don't get is the AC. -4 size, +8 natural. Shouldn't that be 14?

[shadzar]

It should have immunity to everything BUT axes and fire...

Now we don't know that, because poor Eric only tried using arrows on it, and was only told a few suggestions of what would kill it.

Maybe it casts fear, or can turn Paladins, since Eric fled form it?

[Shinizak]

It probably can turn humanoids just like a a cleric turns dead. It's effective cleric level is probably equal to it's HD.

Oh, and it can probably subvert the paladin's immunity to fear as a racial ability.

[dspeyer]

What I don't get is the AC. -4 size, +8 natural. Shouldn't that be 14?

-5 dex (immobile)

IIRC, items which are tough throughout don't have natural armor, only damage reduction (normal wood is dr 5/-)

[shadzar]

This is so funny...I don't like 4th but figured what the heck!

I started another thread to create the 4e Gazebo!

Anyone want to help stat it out?

[theMycon]

-5 dex (immobile)

IIRC, items which are tough throughout don't have natural armor, only damage reduction (normal wood is dr 5/-)

I was figuring it was from one of those old systems, where a positive AC is a bad thing. It still doesn't add up, but the thing has a listed dex of 10.

Also, doesn't adamantine cut through hardness under 20 (or 30)? Thus, giving wood DR 5/adamantine effectively?

[Coidzor]

Except it's actually "hardness" so I think that means it applies against energy damage as well except against energy types that explicitly ignore hardness (I think Acid or at least some types of acid for one). This from inferring that hardness applies to magical/energy damage from comments on threads about destroying the earth physically using magic taking hardness into account.

Which means it's more hardcore than DR5/Advamatine.

...Not sure if the wording means that the things that ordinarily bypass wood hardness should apply to the gazebo or not. I believe wood either takes more damage to make up for the hardness against fire or has its hardness bypassed or both normally.

[mistformsquirrl]

Statted Gazebo = Win. Epic Win even >_<

[Duff]

I had a player bombard a mangrove with fireballs and ask how much xp the kill was worth.

[Cicciograna]

So what? Don Quijote used to fight windmills...what are the stats for a windmill?

[Matthew]

From Bride of Portable Hole:

The Dread Gazebo
Gargantuan Construct
Hit Dice: 24d10 (132 hp)
Initiative: +0
Speed: 0 ft
Armour Class: 6 (-4 Size, +8 Natural)
Attacks: 1 Bite +24 (melee)
Damage: Bite 3d12+15
Face: 30 ft x 30 ft/10 ft
Special Attacks: Leap attack, Improved Grab, Swallow whole
Special Qualities: Construct, Hardness, Alignmentless
Saving Throws: Fort +6, Ref +6, Will +7
Attributes: Str 30, Dex 10, Con -, Int 4, Wis 12, Cha 14
Climate/Terrain: Any Land
Organisation: Solitary or neighbourhood (2-24)
Challenge Rating: 8
Treasure: Standard
Alignment: Neutral Evil (Usually)
Advancement Range: 25-48 HD (Gargantuan), 49-72 HD (Colossal)

Construct: Immune to mind-influencing effects, poison, disease, and similar effects. Not subject to critical hits, subdual damage, ability damage, energy drain, or death from massive damage.

Alignmentless (Ex): The Dread Gazebo cannot be detected nor affected by alignment-specific effects and spells, even though it is of evil alignment.

Hardness (Ex): The Dread Gazebo retains the hardness of the wood it was constructed of. This grants it a hardness of 5, which reduces all damage dealt to the Dread Gazebo by 5 points, no matter the source.

Improved Grab (Ex): To use this ability, the Dread Gazebo must hit with its bite attack. If it gets a hold, it automatically deals bite damage and can attempt to swallow the foe.

Leap Attack (Ex): The Dread Gazebo can leap up to 90 feet in a single jump to catch opponents unaware. It can attack with its bite attack the same round that it leaps.

Swallow Whole (Ex): The Dread Gazebo can swallow a grabbed opponent of Large or smaller size by making a successful grapple check. Once inside, the opponent takes full bite damage each round as the Gazebo crushes it. A swallowed creature can climb out of the Gazebo with a successful grapple check. The Gazebo can hold two Large, four Small, eight Tiny, sixteen Diminutive, or thirty-two Fine or smaller opponents.

[hewhosaysfish]

I do seem to remember reading stats for a gazebo somewhere that was immune to +3 arrows. Not to +2 arrows, +4 arrows, +3 swords or +3 spears.
Just +3 arrows.

[Sinfire Titan]

It should have immunity to everything BUT axes and fire...

Everything is vulnerable to Fire and Axes. And if it's not, then you aren't using enough.

[Bayar]

Fire resistance is the most common around. And physical immunity is not that hard either...

[Sinfire Titan]

Fire resistance is the most common around. And physical immunity is not that hard either...

...You obviously missed the joke.



And Fire Immunity can be bypassed with a metamagic feat from Sandstorm, or a really crappy feat from CM.

[shadzar]

Everything is vulnerable to Fire and Axes. And if it's not, then you aren't using enough.

So a Red Gazebo has increased movement rate? (Red paint makes it go faster. WAHGGGH!)

[Curmudgeon]

Except it's actually "hardness" so I think that means it applies against energy damage as well except against energy types that explicitly ignore hardness (I think Acid or at least some types of acid for one).

There are no such things. Acid and sonic attacks don't ignore hardness at all; they function without adjustment, with hardness subtracted as usual. It's the other energy types (electricity, fire, cold) that are reduced before you subtract hardness.

[Sinfire Titan]

So a Red Gazebo has increased movement rate? (Red paint makes it go faster. WAHGGGH!)

Red paint makes everything go faster. Char, Nine Ball, and the Orks proved that almost a decade ago.

[AslanCross]

So a Red Gazebo has increased movement rate? (Red paint makes it go faster. WAHGGGH!)

...but how can a Red Gazebo move three times faster if its base speed is 0 feet? o_O

I'm definitely going to paint my warforged red, though. Speed was always his problem.

[shadzar]

...but how can a Red Gazebo move three times faster if its base speed is 0 feet? o_O

I'm definitely going to paint my warforged red, though. Speed was always his problem.

No the Gazebo can move because it can jump and swallow you whole. (See Red Terror)

[offtopic]
Don't forget though that your WarForged come back to life each turn if you roll a 6 on the recovery attempt, without needed healing surges or anything like that to prevent dying at 0 or less HP/wounds.
[/offtopic]