Batman vs. Cthulu

[The Glyphstone]

Cthulu Wins in a straight fight, Batman wins with preparation.

Or does he? What kinds of preparation can you get against Cthulu, anyways?

[BelkarsDagger]

Naw. Cthulhu Meteor Swarms him, thrice. Then puree's his corpse in a vat of molten lava mixed with peanut butter. After that, he toasts his charred remains, and feeds them to his dog. Batman wins because Cthulhu's dog doesnt exist, so Cthulhu is a senile old fool who- *gets killed by Cthulhu*

[Steward]

How to defeat him

1) Ignore the hype. He's is not nearly as powerful as he claims to be.

2) Remember, just because he's not that good-looking that doesn't mean that he's some sort of abberation who can blow your mind just because you think about him.

3) He's not immortal. If you kill him, he will die.

and that's how you can kill Cthulhu.

[Ing]

just cause you convince yourself that dosn't make it true...

that stratagy just leaves to a tentacles of forced intrusion

[Steward]

just cause you convince yourself that dosn't make it true...

Yeah, but I didn't say to just convince yourself that. It is true, and all you have to do is realize that to make it an even fight.

Oh, and get your buddies with, you know, real super powers.

[Holy_Knight]

You know, this may be one of those rare occasions where Batman loses. :)

[Fury1671]

How to defeat him

1) Ignore the hype. He's is not nearly as powerful as he claims to be.

2) Remember, just because he's not that good-looking that doesn't mean that he's some sort of abberation who can blow your mind just because you think about him.

3) He's not immortal. If you kill him, he will die.

and that's how you can kill Cthulhu. Batman

Fixed your quote for you. I'd say Batman would lose, but we all know he wont. Unless Cthulhu can invoke Murphy's Law on Batman, rendering him useless. Yes, Batman can prepare, but can he handle when everything goes wrong?

[CelestialStick]

Cthulu Wins in a straight fight, Batman wins with preparation.

Or does he? What kinds of preparation can you get against Cthulu, anyways?

This depends on which Batman we mean.

The campy, 1960s Batman is immune to anything serious, which puts Cthulu at a serious disadvantage. Campy Batman wins. ;D

The psychopathic Batman Mary Sue who gloated over strangling Superman has already been converted by Cthulu, so there's no fight--Cthulu long ago took Batman Mary Sue's soul.

The real Batman recognizes that he's totally outclassed by a god, and calls in the Justice League, which collectively can beat Cthulu, driving him back into the insane reaches whence he came (for now--MUhaha!;D)

[Piedmon_Sama]

Easy. Cthulhu cannot awaken unless the stars are right?

Batman takes the JLA Satellite for a joy-ride and triggers a few Supernovas. =D

[Ralfarius]

Through extensive research, Batman finds out about the big C's cultists and their horrific, Great Old One invoking rituals.

He (like so many others in the Cthulu RPG) stops the cultist's rituals cold. Also, because Batman isn't a stupid roleplayer, he refrains from reading the invocation himself. Cthulu remains dormant.

He has, in essence, defeated the Great Old One.

Barring that, he finds one of the many ways to banish a Great Old One from our physical realm, probably with some help from an Elder God. Batman proceeds to have his dreams haunted for the rest of his days, but that's about par for the course for him.

Also: Remember, as much as everyone likes to name-drop Cthulhu, as far as the mythos goes he's pretty much a bit player.

[Fintago]

Given time batman could gain an elder sign and hold him off in tell something could be done to handle him. While cthulu can be killed he is still immortal this is tripy but try to follow along when he is killed he is born again threw HIS SISTER, so in effect your just pissing him off. The only thing is if cthulu wanted to he could kill just about anyone, but he doesn't think about it would you just go out of your way to crush every ant you see?

[CelestialStick]

Given time batman could gain an elder sign and hold him off in tell something could be done to handle him. While cthulu can be killed he is still immortal this is tripy but try to follow along when he is killed he is born again threw HIS SISTER, so in effect your just pissing him off. The only thing is if cthulu wanted to he could kill just about anyone, but he doesn't think about it would you just go out of your way to crush every ant you see?

Batman holds him off until Superman can arrive and throw Cthulu into the sun. :D

[Allanon]

...
Batman vs Cthulhu? ???

Here is how I see it playing out; Cthulhu squishes batman with his foot seriosly Cthulhu completey defeats batman in a straight fight batman kills his cultists? Doesn't matter that is not beatinghim in a fight Batman enlists the help of other people? No then he woud not be the ony one fighting him and if he is allowed to do that then Cthulhu has allies as wel both the cultists and starspawn and possibly some others from the mythos

In fact all Cthuhu has to do is drive him mad and after that procede to squash

[Haggis_McCrablice]

The real Batman recognizes that he's totally outclassed by a god, and calls in the Justice League, which collectively can beat Cthulu, driving him back into the insane reaches whence he came....

The Justice League actually did fight a Cthulhu-type Thanagerian deity in "The Terror Beyond (2)", though Batman wasn't part of this storyline. It was a combination of Hawkgirl and the decidedly odd triumverate of Aquaman, Dr. Fate, and Solomon Grundy that defeated Icthulhu.

[Beelzebub1111]

Cthulhu Wins. Always.

[Dawnstrider_Moogle]

Batman realizes that Cthulhu wins in a straight up fight, but he wins with preparation. Therefore, he goes to prepare, and starts researching Cthulhu.

This, of course, drives him completely insane. It's not like he had very far to go, after all.

[Smashymcsmash]

The Justice League actually did fight a Cthulhu-type Thanagerian deity in "The Terror Beyond (2)", though Batman wasn't part of this storyline. It was a combination of Hawkgirl and the decidedly odd triumverate of Aquaman, Dr. Fate, and Solomon Grundy that defeated Icthulhu.

It seems odd till you realize they are the DC version of the Defenders. Grundy even starts of the episode being all "Grundy Smash!!" instead of mumbling about the day he was born on.

edit spelling

[Piedmon_Sama]

The Justice League has already stopped Armageddon. (Yes, the Armageddon.) Honestly, for these guys Cthulhu is a step down. =p

[Runolfr]

As Cthulu is pretty much incomprehensible by definition, no amount of preparation is going to help Batman in a direct confrontation with the Great Old One.

Smacking down Cthulu's cultists, of course, would be no problem.

[Belial_the_Leveler]

Batman has to sleep. Cthulhuu doesn't. So Cthulhuu merely casts a few Demand SLAs (sending coupled with suggestion) to which Batman is considered willing (according to DnD rules, unconscious or sleeping creatures are considered willing) and now Cthulhuu controls Batman.

Cthulhuu does that to Superman, Green Lantern and the Martian Manhunter so Earth is gone.


Note that the above scenario has happened before. A mortal with a similar power managed to defeat the entire JLA (except for Martian Manhunter) with his power. Also, Braniac-13 used nanites to mentally dominate Bruce Wayne (and thus Batman)

[CelestialStick]

The Justice League actually did fight a Cthulhu-type Thanagerian deity in "The Terror Beyond (2)", though Batman wasn't part of this storyline. It was a combination of Hawkgirl and the decidedly odd triumverate of Aquaman, Dr. Fate, and Solomon Grundy that defeated Icthulhu.

Oh, man, I'm sure sorry I missed that one! I think Dr. Fate is a pretty powerful magician, but what the heck did Aquaman do, threaten to sink mock-Cthulu's ships? When did Grundy end up working for the JL? I saw an episode of JL where he had been resurrected by some powerful evil force and at the end Hawkgirl, who likes him, has to decide whether to use her magic mace (which works against the power animating Grundy) to destroy him or not. They actually don't show us whether she does or not.

[Abd al-Azrad]

Also: Remember, as much as everyone likes to name-drop Cthulhu, as far as the mythos goes he's pretty much a bit player.

I don't know about that... after all, he has a world-spanning cult, and he does come alive and destroy a sailing ship in Call of Cthulhu. Frankly, I forget how the world got out of that one. Maybe I should re-read the story.

*time passes*

Oh, right. He doesn't destroy the ship, the ship rams him in the head and kills him. And then he reforms, but the stars change and he gets sunk back into R'lyeh. I guess if that's all it takes to beat Cthulhu, Batman could take him down.

That's vaguely disappointing.

[Steward]

Oh, man, I'm sure sorry I missed that one! I think Dr. Fate is a pretty powerful magician, but what the heck did Aquaman do, threaten to sink mock-Cthulu's ships?

Aquaman wasn't even there for the actual fight. His main contribution was a (failed) magical enchantment using his trident to sacrifice a willing Solomon Grundy. This would have driven Icthulhu back to whence he came, if it had even made sense. But eventually that was messed up by the Justice League and he got himself beaten senseless by Wonder Woman. He ends saying, "screw the world" and runs back to Atlantis.

I hate Aquaman.

When did Grundy end up working for the JL?

He doesn't technically, but he becomes friends with Hawkgirl and she ends up being the last person he sees before Icthulhu vanquishes him. Oh, and Hawkgirl killed Icthulhu all by herself while the rest of her useless teammates ran distraction.

I saw an episode of JL where he had been resurrected by some powerful evil force and at the end Hawkgirl, who likes him, has to decide whether to use her magic mace (which works against the power animating Grundy) to destroy him or not. They actually don't show us whether she does or not.

She does.

[CelestialStick]

Aquaman wasn't even there for the actual fight. His main contribution was a (failed) magical enchantment using his trident to sacrifice a willing Solomon Grundy. This would have driven Icthulhu back to whence he came, if it had even made sense. But eventually that was messed up by the Justice League and he got himself beaten senseless by Wonder Woman. He ends saying, "screw the world" and runs back to Atlantis.

I hate Aquaman.


He doesn't technically, but he becomes friends with Hawkgirl and she ends up being the last person he sees before Icthulhu vanquishes him. Oh, and Hawkgirl killed Icthulhu all by herself while the rest of her useless teammates ran distraction.


She does.

The old Aquaman of Super Friends days was, like Batman, another Superman clone only without the really good superpowers. The new Aquaman of the the JL/JLU series is an arrogant, elitist, eco-terrorist. I hate him too, and gladly. :D I'd even say that he's a hypocrite as well, because you can't persuade me that making and running his uber-submarines doesn't pollute the oceans too. I'm glad to hear that Wonder Woman beat him senseless. It almost makes the DC decision to ruin her by powering her up after 1985 worthwhile, although really, the old Wonder Woman could have beat him senseless anyway. :D

So Hawk Girls beat icky-thulu all by herself. Woot! I love Hawk Girl. I especially like it when she says to Diana, after Diana once again says "Hera give me strength!" "Do you have to keep saying that?!" The whole Hawkgirl storyline is cool, including the whole torn loyalties when he race invades the earth, and subsequent struggle with who she really is.

Ok, when you say that she did kill Grundy (or the Grundy-thing) is that because we saw her do it, or because you inferred that she had?

[Steward]

Ok, when you say that she did kill Grundy (or the Grundy-thing) is that because we saw her do it, or because you inferred that she had?

We don't get to see her do it, but it's fairly obvious that she did. Just before we cut away, she says something like, “Shhhh. It’s okay. I know what you want. What you need," while raising her mace.

[CelestialStick]

We don't get to see her do it, but it's fairly obvious that she did. Just before we cut away, she says something like, “Shhhh. It’s okay. I know what you want. What you need," while raising her mace.

Yeah, I thought it was something like that.

[Ing]

I don't know about that... after all, he has a world-spanning cult, and he does come alive and destroy a sailing ship in Call of Cthulhu. Frankly, I forget how the world got out of that one. Maybe I should re-read the story.

*time passes*

Oh, right. He doesn't destroy the ship, the ship rams him in the head and kills him. And then he reforms, but the stars change and he gets sunk back into R'lyeh. I guess if that's all it takes to beat Cthulhu, Batman could take him down.

That's vaguely disappointing.

he was defeated in such a manner because he was freshly reawakened and still not at full strength had he been given uninterupted time on his island to redraw his power he would have been much more powerful

[Aidan305]

Batman prepares, as Batman always does

In doing so he loses about 20 sanity points from reading the Book of Eibon, and the Necronomican. This drives him temporarily insane for a while. Bruce Wayne gets locked up in Arkham.

He eventually recovers but the realisation of what the world is rally like has caused him to lose yet more sanity.

He eventually squares off against Great Cthulhu (Fh'taghn) and seeing the high priest of the Old Ones himself causes him to fail his sanity check and lose massive amounts of sanity.

Win Cthulhu.
Batman is no Randolf Carter.

[Jothki]

he was defeated in such a manner because he was freshly reawakened and still not at full strength had he been given uninterupted time on his island to redraw his power he would have been much more powerful

And then we would merely have to hit him with a missile. It probably wouldn't even need to be a nuke.

Of course, he would possibly be invincible in his own setting. I'll bet that enough biplane or zepplin strafing would work, though.

[Ing]

well according to sources


when reduced to 0 hit points (he has something like 800-1800 depending on how full powered he is)power) he simply losses solid form and returns to a cloud of plasm...he regains his form withing several minutes... but in the gasseous state he can be trapped. prettty much everything that dosn't vaporize every part of him will only slow him down. you'd need a nuke to destroy hsi body...and then what with being a god, there's some debate on whether his spirit would remain to haunt us and eventaully retake a new body!

therefore unless batman has a missile arsonal and a way to banish elder gods or trap them he's screwed