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  1. - Top - End - #1
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
    AstralFire's Avatar

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    Default Now That's What I Call... Mer-aculous Hangtime!

    Also known as: Ariel, the Little Monster Truck Derbymaid.

    The (wo)Man:

    The Plan: To achieve long duration, low altitude jump with something that has a base land speed of 5 feet, while wearing nothing more than a shell bikini (ow, the chafing).

    Panama:
    • Merfolk Ninja 6, Sorcerer 1, Swordsage 3, Exemplar 1, both ability ups in Str
    • 17 PB Ability Scores: 18 Str, 10 Dex, 10 Con, 8 Int, 8 Wis, 11 Cha
    • Feats: Skill Focus (Jump) (+3), Athletic (+2), Practiced Spellcaster, Practiced Spellcaster
    • Skills: Tumble 5, Jump 14, Spellcraft 4, no one cares about the rest
    • Penalties: -12 for being slower than 30 ft. speed.
    • Total jump bonus: +10 (Tiger Claw Stance), +6 (Ninja), +5 (feats), +4 (Exemplar), +5 Str, +30 (Jump spell), +2 Synergy, +14 Ranks
    • Average Jump Distance: 70 feet.


    Rules That I Am Hurting:
    Staggered: A character whose nonlethal damage exactly equals his current hit points is staggered. A staggered character may take a single move action or standard action each round (but not both, nor can she take full-round actions).

    A character whose current hit points exceed his nonlethal damage is no longer staggered; a character whose nonlethal damage exceeds his hit points becomes unconscious.
    On Action for a Jump: None. A Jump check is included in your movement, so it is part of a move action. If you run out of movement mid-jump, your next action (either on this turn or, if necessary, on your next turn) must be a move action to complete the jump.
    How It Works:
    • Ariel realizes that she's about to abandon everything she ever knew and loved to live with a man in a completely different culture on the basis of his looks and little else. :(
    • Ariel begins to slam her head into the wall repeatedly. Stupid, stupid, stupid!
    • Once she's rather woozy and taken a lot of subdual/nonlethal damage, Ariel takes out a knife sized for a baby and cuts herself until she is staggered. Stupid!
    • Ariel gets back her mermaid fins. It's Evil OctoMagic. Don't question it.
    • Ariel realizes that she cannot actually reach the water from where she is, but thanks to her NINJA TRAINING she can probably make a jump for it.
    • Ariel jumps the 70 feet. But she can only move 5 feet as a move action, and she only gets one move action a round.
    • It will take Ariel 14 rounds, or a minute and twenty-four seconds, to land after she begins her jump; she will have traveled a space equivalent to a semi-truck with two trailers.


    What else has a huge hangtime in the air after leaping over tractor trailers? That's right! Monster trucks.

    I'm not really sure where I was going with this.

    Mer-aculous Hangtime! ha-ha-HA!
    A long time ago, in a galaxy far,
    far away. . . .

  2. - Top - End - #2
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    DruidGuy

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    Default Re: Now That's What I Call... Mer-aculous Hangtime!

    But.. a 70ft jump without a 20ft running start is dc 140....

    Running is a full-round action and being staggered she can only take a move or a standard.
    Quote Originally Posted by Saph View Post
    What does "too evil" mean, anyway? Too evil compared to what? Is there a Recommended Daily Allowance of evil?

  3. - Top - End - #3
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
    AstralFire's Avatar

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    Default Re: Now That's What I Call... Mer-aculous Hangtime!

    Quote Originally Posted by Moriato View Post
    But.. a 70ft jump without a 20ft running start is dc 140....

    Running is a full-round action and being staggered she can only take a move or a standard.
    Ah! The Ninja and the Swordsage stance both take care of that! Let you take jumps as if you always had a running start.
    A long time ago, in a galaxy far,
    far away. . . .

  4. - Top - End - #4

    Default Re: Now That's What I Call... Mer-aculous Hangtime!

    If the little crab guy is a marshall, he can use an aura to boost her jump check

  5. - Top - End - #5
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
    Blue Ghost's Avatar

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    Default Re: Now That's What I Call... Mer-aculous Hangtime!

    Intriguing. So have you thought of where you're going with this yet?

    Blue Ghost, Lawful Good generalist wizard, at your service.
    Love wins. S'agapo.

    I make MtG cards. My portfolio

    Avatar by AsteriskAmp.

  6. - Top - End - #6
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
    AstralFire's Avatar

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    Default Re: Now That's What I Call... Mer-aculous Hangtime!

    Quote Originally Posted by quick_comment View Post
    If the little crab guy is a marshall, he can use an aura to boost her jump check
    Sebastian is definitely a bard.

    Inspire Competence optimization?

    Quote Originally Posted by Blue Ghost View Post
    Intriguing. So have you thought of where you're going with this yet?
    It is going places. Down.

    Under the sea.
    A long time ago, in a galaxy far,
    far away. . . .

  7. - Top - End - #7

    Default Re: Now That's What I Call... Mer-aculous Hangtime!

    Quote Originally Posted by AstralFire View Post
    Sebastian is definitely a bard.

    Inspire Competence optimization?

    Words of creation, masterwork instrument, some spell in complete adventurer

  8. - Top - End - #8
    Bugbear in the Playground
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    Default Re: Now That's What I Call... Mer-aculous Hangtime!

    Flounder could potentially be a Marshall though. He provides a bit of morale reinforcement, IIRC.

  9. - Top - End - #9
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
    Djinn_in_Tonic's Avatar

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    Default Re: Now That's What I Call... Mer-aculous Hangtime!

    AstralFire, have I ever told you how much I love you? Not in a particularly creepy way, but anyone who'll do something like this, draw such a ridiculous conclusion and then (and this is important) not know why they did it is someone who I can relate to. This is amazing.

    Ingredients

    2oz Djinn
    5oz Water
    1 Lime Wedge


    Instructions

    Pour Djinn and tonic water into a glass filled with ice cubes. Stir well. Garnish with lime wedge. Serve.

  10. - Top - End - #10
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
    AstralFire's Avatar

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    Default Re: Now That's What I Call... Mer-aculous Hangtime!

    Quote Originally Posted by Djinn_In_Tonic View Post
    AstralFire, have I ever told you how much I love you? Not in a particularly creepy way, but anyone who'll do something like this, draw such a ridiculous conclusion and then (and this is important) not know why they did it is someone who I can relate to. This is amazing.
    -high fives-

    Sometimes, you just gotta do what you gotta do.
    A long time ago, in a galaxy far,
    far away. . . .

  11. - Top - End - #11
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
    Djinn_in_Tonic's Avatar

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    Default Re: Now That's What I Call... Mer-aculous Hangtime!

    Quote Originally Posted by AstralFire View Post
    -high fives-

    Sometimes, you just gotta do what you gotta do.
    Speaking of which, she needs a wand of Major Image to give her the visual appearance of a monster truck.

    Ingredients

    2oz Djinn
    5oz Water
    1 Lime Wedge


    Instructions

    Pour Djinn and tonic water into a glass filled with ice cubes. Stir well. Garnish with lime wedge. Serve.

  12. - Top - End - #12
    Banned
     
    Milskidasith's Avatar

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    Default Re: Now That's What I Call... Mer-aculous Hangtime!

    This is really, really awesome.

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    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    HamsterOfTheGod's Avatar

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    Default Re: Now That's What I Call... Mer-aculous Hangtime!

    Quote Originally Posted by AstralFire View Post
    <snip>cool stuff<snip>I'm not really sure where I was going with this.
    Nice job. Obviously the big finish to some D&D epic performance of Under the Sea.
    Spoiler
    Show
    OotS Fan-fiction (An alternate OotS-verse starting after page 603. If you want to read it go here)

    bad Erf-poetry

    and other sillyness.

  14. - Top - End - #14
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    AssassinGuy

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    Default Re: Now That's What I Call... Mer-aculous Hangtime!

    So if this counted as strenuous action, then she'd drop to negatives.

    Which means that if she didn't stabilize while in mid-air, she'd die before she hit the ground?

  15. - Top - End - #15
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
    Blue Ghost's Avatar

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    Default Re: Now That's What I Call... Mer-aculous Hangtime!

    Quote Originally Posted by Thrawn183 View Post
    So if this counted as strenuous action, then she'd drop to negatives.

    Which means that if she didn't stabilize while in mid-air, she'd die before she hit the ground?
    You don't lose HP when you're staggered because of nonlethal damage. But what would happen if Ariel was actually at 0 hp when she attempted this? She would fall unconscious and not be able to complete her jump, so would she drop to the ground or stay in midair indefinitely?

    Blue Ghost, Lawful Good generalist wizard, at your service.
    Love wins. S'agapo.

    I make MtG cards. My portfolio

    Avatar by AsteriskAmp.

  16. - Top - End - #16
    Barbarian in the Playground
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    Default Re: Now That's What I Call... Mer-aculous Hangtime!

    Surely there's some condition that reduces move by 5', leaving her hanging indefinitely?

  17. - Top - End - #17
    Titan in the Playground
     
    ZeroNumerous's Avatar

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    Default Re: Now That's What I Call... Mer-aculous Hangtime!

    Quote Originally Posted by Skorj View Post
    Surely there's some condition that reduces move by 5', leaving her hanging indefinitely?
    Technically carrying double her maximum load would reduce her move speed to 5 feet per full round action. Meaning she cannot complete her jump ever.

  18. - Top - End - #18
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    The Mentalist's Avatar

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    Default Re: Now That's What I Call... Mer-aculous Hangtime!

    Astral you're a genius.
    Having trouble writing up hard stat blocks but I'm doing a lot of sharing ideas and soft mechanics lately.

  19. - Top - End - #19

    Default Re: Now That's What I Call... Mer-aculous Hangtime!

    Quote Originally Posted by ZeroNumerous View Post
    Technically carrying double her maximum load would reduce her move speed to 5 feet per full round action. Meaning she cannot complete her jump ever.
    Combine this with dimension jumper (to let you teleport as an MEA), and you have the wierdest form of flight ever

  20. - Top - End - #20
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
    AstralFire's Avatar

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    Default Re: Now That's What I Call... Mer-aculous Hangtime!

    Quote Originally Posted by Djinn_In_Tonic View Post
    Speaking of which, she needs a wand of Major Image to give her the visual appearance of a monster truck.
    Hmm. Is there any gold-only method to dropping a spell trigger item to swift? That way she can cast it in mid-air.

    Quote Originally Posted by Milskidasith View Post
    This is really, really awesome.
    Quote Originally Posted by HamsterOfTheGod View Post
    Nice job. Obviously the big finish to some D&D epic performance of Under the Sea.
    The XP is always phatter
    In somebody else's plane
    You dream about shifting o'er there
    But that is a big mistake
    Just look at the loot around you
    Right here on this dungeon floor
    Such wonderful things surround you
    What more is you lookin' for?

    If you want more XP
    If you want more XP
    Darling it's faster
    To avoid Lord Hastur
    And the rest of Carceri
    Out at Baator you'll scream in pain
    And lose a level when you're slain
    While we be coastin'
    Making the mostin'
    Off orc XP!

    Quote Originally Posted by Blue Ghost View Post
    You don't lose HP when you're staggered because of nonlethal damage. But what would happen if Ariel was actually at 0 hp when she attempted this? She would fall unconscious and not be able to complete her jump, so would she drop to the ground or stay in midair indefinitely?
    So... Schrodinger's Ninja Mermaid? @ZeroNumerous, the trick is to get her strength that low mid-jump. I know there's a ray that drops your strength to 1, but I can't seem to find it right now.
    A long time ago, in a galaxy far,
    far away. . . .

  21. - Top - End - #21
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Kiren's Avatar

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    Default Re: Now That's What I Call... Mer-aculous Hangtime!

    What about seagulls? Get enough seagulls, and even if you can't fly, you will get a momentary glide on every jump.

  22. - Top - End - #22
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Haven's Avatar

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    Default Re: Now That's What I Call... Mer-aculous Hangtime!

    Quote Originally Posted by AstralFire View Post


    The XP is always phatter
    In somebody else's plane
    You dream about shifting o'er there
    But that is a big mistake
    Just look at the loot around you
    Right here on this dungeon floor
    Such wonderful things surround you
    What more is you lookin' for?

    If you want more XP
    If you want more XP
    Darling it's faster
    To avoid Lord Hastur
    And the rest of Carceri
    Out at Baator you'll scream in pain
    And lose a level when you're slain
    While we be coastin'
    Making the mostin'
    Off orc XP!
    This thread is genius.
    My pronouns are they/them.

    Avatar courtesy of Elagune's OotS manga reinterpretation!

  23. - Top - End - #23
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    HamsterOfTheGod's Avatar

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    Default Re: Now That's What I Call... Mer-aculous Hangtime!

    Quote Originally Posted by AstralFire View Post
    The XP is always phatter
    In somebody else's plane
    You dream about shifting o'er there
    But that is a big mistake
    Just look at the loot around you
    Right here on this dungeon floor
    Such wonderful things surround you
    What more is you lookin' for?

    If you want more XP
    If you want more XP
    Darling it's faster
    To avoid Lord Hastur
    And the rest of Carceri
    Out at Baator you'll scream in pain
    And lose a level when you're slain
    While we be coastin'
    Making the mostin'
    Off orc XP!
    Well I'll be a guppy...that was Brilliant!
    Spoiler
    Show
    OotS Fan-fiction (An alternate OotS-verse starting after page 603. If you want to read it go here)

    bad Erf-poetry

    and other sillyness.

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