Worst "VS" Arguments You've Heard?

[Sholos]

Wolverine vs. Darth Vader

People didn't seem to get the fact that the Dark Lord of the Sith was gong to tear Logan apart.

[Demons_eye]

Only if he got a head shot other wise I think Logan would win.

Jay and silent bob vs Chech and Chong (spelling?)

[Moofin Bard]

He stopped a man's heart with the force.

Darth Vader can certainly take Logan.

[JaxGaret]

Yeah, that was messed up. They actually said in one of Lobo's books that he was paid to throw the fight. Not the the Wolverine fans will accept that.

Now that's making some sense of it.

Wolverine vs. Darth Vader

People didn't seem to get the fact that the Dark Lord of the Sith was gong to tear Logan apart.

Darth Vader is fairly equivalent to Magneto, and we all know that Magneto > Wolverine, so... yeah.

[Renegade Paladin]

Oh, I've seen many, many terrible ones in my time, but I have a visual aid handy for one of them, so I'll go with that:

[Dienekes]

Star Trek vs Star Wars.

Any combination of ships, characters, and equipment. I think I've seen/heard them all, maybe half a dozen times.

[Rutskarn]

Anything related to the goddamn Batman. Nothing against him, but after a thousand vs. threads survived I side against the dude by default.

Batman vs. Joker? Joker.

Batman vs. Superman? Superman.

Batman vs. Freeman? Freeman.

Batman vs. D-Fens? D-Fens.

Batman vs. Shaun of the Dead? Shaun.

Batman vs. Urkel? Urkel.

Considerations of skill aside, Batman would probably lose any fight you throw at him. Why? Because he's already exhausted from defeating the entire DC, Marvel, and W40K universes a thousand times over.

Speaking of which, anyone who tries to combat a W40K race with a race from a different series better have a damn good argument. "Here's some stuff from fanfiction/Expanded Universe*" doesn't count.

*But I repeat myself.

[ZeroNumerous]

Batman vs. Superman? Superman.

He does have a canonical plan to kill Supes if Big Blue ever turns against him, so that's one I foresee ending poorly for everyone's favorite alien.

[AstralFire]

He does have a canonical plan to kill Supes if Big Blue ever turns against him, so that's one I foresee ending poorly for everyone's favorite alien.

The plan consists of making a rogue, evil Superman so inhumanly strong he'll be afraid to move for fear of hurting people.

Batman's protocols were not his most stunning work. Shoot the Flash. Brilliant! Batman, the man who hates guns, will shoot the guy with reflexes at the Speed of Light using a bullet that moves at Mach 20!

[ZeroNumerous]

The plan consists of making a rogue, evil Superman so inhumanly strong he'll be afraid to move for fear of hurting people.

I was talking about his plan to just inject kryptonite into Supes' bloodstream with a needle made of the stuff. You know, his plan to Kill Supes rather than just render him impotent.

[Renegade Paladin]

Star Trek vs Star Wars.

Any combination of ships, characters, and equipment. I think I've seen/heard them all, maybe half a dozen times.

Of course it's stupid. Star Wars military technology is so far ahead of every conventional Star Trek power that the outcome isn't even debatable. Which doesn't stop people from trying, for some strange reason.

[Dervag]

The plan consists of making a rogue, evil Superman so inhumanly strong he'll be afraid to move for fear of hurting people.

Batman's protocols were not his most stunning work. Shoot the Flash. Brilliant! Batman, the man who hates guns, will shoot the guy with reflexes at the Speed of Light using a bullet that moves at Mach 20!

On the other hand, Flash has been known to get clonked from behind when he's standing still.

While moving at super-speed, Flash is invulnerable to anything Batman can possibly do. So if Batman is to have any chance, he must ambush the Flash with a disabling attack while Flash isn't moving.

It's not a perfect plan, but it's the best he's going to be able to come up with.

[Rutskarn]

In the interest of full disclosure, my plan for Superman going rogue is to go somewhere that Superman isn't.

...

Spoiler

Show

Okay, actually, I DO have a more in-depth plan.

Step 1: Buy some Kryptonite at your local Evil 7-11.

Step 2: Break it into little chunks.

Step 3: Melt lead slugs around them.

Step 4: Load slugs into gun.

Step 5: Stage bank job.

Stage 6: Superman arrives. Point gun at him while saying suitable phrase (Ex: "I dunno who you think you are, but a taste o' lead oughta straighten you out!")

Stage 7: Wait for him to grin smugly and tell you you'll be wasting your time.

Stage 8: Shoot bullets. Kryptonite punctures his skin and kills him.

Stage 9: Go ahead, rob the bank for real. You've earned it.

According to the Super Double Awesome Piece of the One True Canon, this plan will probably not work, but I don't care. I guess step one is: became the chief staff writer for Superman comics, then you can just fudge/erase/ignore the canon as you wish.

[QueenMo]

Teenage mutant ninja turtles vs. Samurai Pizza Cats...

[Starscream]

Teenage mutant ninja turtles vs. Samurai Pizza Cats...

"Samurai Pizza Cats! They're so rad! They've got more fur than any turtle ever had!"

I am so ashamed to admit I watched that show.

[kpenguin]

George Washington Carver vs. Eli Whitney

[Rutskarn]

George Washington Carver vs. Eli Whitney

Whitney, easily. He's got the giant fanged death machine.

[Lord of Rapture]

On that note:

I
Hate
Squirrel Girl

There, I said it and I'm not taking it back. There's a limit to how far tongue-in-cheek gets you, and Squirrel Girl is past it. Dead meme is dead.

Oh god, I'm not alone!

[kpenguin]

Whitney, easily. He's got the giant fanged death machine.

But Carver has combat experience from his time on Leonardo DaVinci's Fightin' Genius Time Commandos!

[Rutskarn]

But Carver has combat experience from his time on Leonardo DaVinci's Fightin' Genius Time Commandos!

The fact that that should exist doesn't mean it does, though.

[kpenguin]

Are we going by historical Whitney and Carver or fictional awesome Whitney and Carver?

If the former, no razor bladed death machine. Its unlikely that Whitney would be able to use a cotton gin as any sort of effective weapon.

If the latter... I'd say that the God of Peanuts has an edge here.

[The Dark Fiddler]

I forget who he was up against, but I heard "The Doctor wins because he's the Doctor."

[Kris Strife]

Speaking of which, anyone who tries to combat a W40K race with a race from a different series better have a damn good argument. "Here's some stuff from fanfiction/Expanded Universe*" doesn't count.

Zerg Vs. Tyranids: Either way, everybody looses.

[factotum]

I forget who he was up against, but I heard "The Doctor wins because he's the Doctor."

Problem is, that argument can be applied to pretty much ANYONE who is the protagonist in their own series, because generally that's exactly what they do! It's a sign that the person answering is really not getting into the whole "Neither of these dudes are in their normal environment and plot shields don't apply" thing that should be there in any vs. thread.

[Shraik]

Well, for a long time in school we've been dealing with a Goku Vs. Grand Master Luke Skywalker

Also Vladimir Putin Vs. Ted Nugent is an awful, yet awesome idea.

[snoopy13a]

I don't like most vs. arguments as they usually are comparing apples to oranges.

There's a few exceptions for me. Among the exceptions are anything comparision using Coach Ditka

[SAMAS]

"Samurai Pizza Cats! They're so rad! They've got more fur than any turtle ever had!"

I am so ashamed to admit I watched that show.

Don't be. Even the creators of the original show liked it better.

[Fan]

Zerg Vs. Tyranids: Either way, everybody looses.

Silence Heretic. The Emperor wins that fight.

[Krrth]

Silence Heretic. The Emperor wins that fight.

Actually, that makes me think: The Zerg (or Tyranid, doesn't matter) get to Terra, overwhelm the defenses, and eat the flesh of the God-Emperor. His psychic power then overwhelms the hive mind, taking it over.

Long live the Emperor!

[Fan]

Actually, that makes me think: The Zerg (or Tyranid, doesn't matter) get to Terra, overwhelm the defenses, and eat the flesh of the God-Emperor. His psychic power then overwhelms the hive mind, taking it over.

Long live the Emperor!

That is implying that Holy Terra will ever fall, and is a clear example of Heresy. Shoot that man Commisar!Is a cool notion though