Cyrano’s Non-Alliterative Inaugurational Random Banter #126 To Usher In The Future

[Cristo Meyers]

But I'm not. I shall become millions of times more powerful than TvTropes, Google, Microsoft, Wikipedia, Apple, Sony, Nintendo and GitP combined. I'm just joshing with you. You know that right?

And yes Thufir, I'm sure.

Right.

You realize that over half of said power can be negated by simply clicking on a little "X" and closing the window, right? And that another 3 are too busy trying to decide who's more "Hardcore" to do anything of value?

[Thufir]

Yeah, in terms of directly usable personal power, that list really doesn't amount to much.

[Cristo Meyers]

Yeah, in terms of directly usable personal power, that list really doesn't amount to much.

Well, with Apple he could make me buy an overpriced mp3 player...

[Fredthefighter]

Right.

You realize that over half of said power can be negated by simply clicking on a little "X" and closing the window, right? And that another 3 are too busy trying to decide who's more "Hardcore" to do anything of value?

I have eliminated the little "X". He was the first to fall. Then I beat the snot out of the Recycling Bin for not giving me my money, and fed him to the Ctrl-Alt-Del function.

Against me, you're firewalls will turn to steam, your Anti-Virus programs will fail, and your hardrive will crash and burn. There will be no error report to send.



I have a twisted mind now that I think about it.

[Cristo Meyers]

I have eliminated the little "X". He was the first to fall. Then I beat the snot out of the Recycling Bin for not giving me my money, and fed him to the Ctrl-Alt-Del function.

Against me, you're firewalls will turn to steam, your Anti-Virus programs will fail, and your hardrive will crash and burn. There will be no error report to send.

...I run Linux.

I have a twisted mind now that I think about it.

Don't mess with the maestro, boy

[Fredthefighter]

...I run Linux.



Don't mess with the maestro, boy

Linux will also fall. I shall obliterate it into small irreplacable pieces.

And soon, the pupil, will become... the master.

I don't know about you, but I'm having fun with this.

[Cristo Meyers]

Linux will also fall. I shall obliterate it into small irreplacable pieces.

With what? The power of Microsoft? The people that can't do it either?

And soon, the pupil, will become... the master.

I was trained by Koorli.

I don't know about you, but I'm having fun with this.

[Fredthefighter]

With what? The power of Microsoft? The people that can't do it either?



I was trained by Koorli.

1) Do not mock Bill Gates, he has enough money to buy everything you care about and then the power to crush it before your very eyes.
2) There will never be a proper response to that. So here is a picture of a cat punching a dog.

Spoiler

Show

3) Amused are you. You should be, that was always the aim. The amusement of others is the key.... the key to ULTIMATE POWER!

[Phase]

1) Do not mock Bill Gates, he has enough money to buy everything you care about and then the power to crush it before your very eyes.

And the insanity of a manatee.

[Cristo Meyers]

1) Do not mock Bill Gates, he has enough money to buy everything you care about and then the power to crush it before your very eyes.

Just not the will.

2) There will never be a proper response to that. So here is a picture of a cat punching a dog.

Spoiler

Show

Ahhhh, therein lies the difference, young one.

You use a pre-made, I make my own...

3) Amused are you. You should be, that was always the aim. The amusement of others is the key.... the key to ULTIMATE POWER!

Everytime someone talks like Yoda, I imaging Kermit the Frog storming on stage, beating the tar out of that thing, and saying "THIS IS WHAT IT MEANS TO BE GREEN, BITCH!"

[Cyrano]

Just not the will.

I'm going to imagine that was a trite, meaningless pun on his name.

In which case, good work!

[Fredthefighter]

Just not the will.



Ahhhh, therein lies the difference, young one.

You use a pre-made, I make my own...



Everytime someone talks like Yoda, I imaging Kermit the Frog storming on stage, beating the tar out of that thing, and saying "THIS IS WHAT IT MEANS TO BE GREEN, BITCH!"

1) I can provide the will.
2) I don't have any pictures of cats. Also, I'm lazy enough to not be bothered to make my own.
3) I wasn't intentionally talking like Yoda. But Yoda would totally turn Kermit into his own personal punching bag, then cut him open, and use his body as a sleeping bag for when Yoda goes camping. All the time he does this, he repeats one sentence "Where's my money!".

[Thufir]

Everytime someone talks like Yoda, I imaging Kermit the Frog storming on stage, beating the tar out of that thing, and saying "THIS IS WHAT IT MEANS TO BE GREEN, BITCH!"

See, this. This right here is what I'm talking about. Cristo's imagination is scary.

[Cristo Meyers]

3) I wasn't intentionally talking like Yoda. But Yoda would totally turn Kermit into his own personal punching bag, then cut him open, and use his body as a sleeping bag for when Yoda goes camping. All the time he does this, he repeats one sentence "Where's my money!".

Kermit is manned by the creator himself, Jim Henson, and thus cannot be stopped by a mere novice puppet.

Besides, once you turn the computer off, Yoda disappears.

See, this. This right here is what I'm talking about. Cristo's imagination is scary.

Admit it, you laughed.

[Phase]

Fred uses the tongue smily too much. I can't imagine any of his jokes going anywhere.

For example, I would have listened to his argument about Yoda winning against Kermit, but then the smily showed up.

Kermit would win anyway, though.

[Fredthefighter]

Kermit is manned by the creator himself, Jim Henson, and thus cannot be stopped by a mere novice puppet.

Besides, once you turn the computer off, Yoda disappears.

You sir deserved to be whipped by a team of Jawas, all of whom have been denied female company for the last twenty years.

I will admit that while Kermit is awesome, Yoda's knowledge and fighting skills (not to mention his ability to throw Kermit about like a ragdoll using the Force) would win the day and you know it.

And a computer will always be on for Yoda to live.

[Cristo Meyers]

You sir deserved to be whipped by a team of Jawas, all of whom have been denied female company for the last twenty years.

For Jawas, this is a blessing.

They wear those hoods for a reason, man...

I will admit that while Kermit is awesome, Yoda's knowledge and fighting skills (not to mention his ability to throw Kermit about like a ragdoll using the Force) would win the day and you know it.

Right, well if you're going to bring the power of plot into this...

And a computer will always be on for Yoda to live.

Right up until the special effects budget runs out.

[Thufir]

Kermit would win anyway, though.

"It's true. You don't mess with the frog."
"Damn right! That's for ME to do!"
"Not now, Miss Piggy, I'm trying to give a tough speech-"
"Ohhh, that's so cute of you! Come on, we're going home now!" *Picks up Kermit and carries him off.*
"Remember not to mess with the frooooooooog...!"

[Cristo Meyers]

"It's true. You don't mess with the frog."
"Damn right! That's for ME to do!"
"Not now, Miss Piggy, I'm trying to give a tough speech-"
"Ohhh, that's so cute of you! Come on, we're going home now!" *Picks up Kermit and carries him off.*
"Remember not to mess with the frooooooooog...!"

Even the Force quakes at the mention of a Miss Piggy Karate Chop...

[Fredthefighter]

For Jawas, this is a blessing.

They wear those hoods for a reason, man...



Right, well if you're going to bring the power of plot into this...



Right up until the special effects budget runs out.

SESAME STREET HAD NO FREAKIN' PLOT!

You will feel pain and humiliation like no other.

On another note: I'm reading xkcd right now. It's quite good. And Thufir made me laugh. It's not Kermit you should be worried about, it's Miss Piggy.

And to finish the argument/debate:
Rocks fall, but instead of death, Cristo is put in the hospital with almost all of his bones broken.

[Coidzor]

Or the thought of two muppets doing it.

*nods sagely*

[Cristo Meyers]

SESAME STREET HAD NO FREAKIN' PLOT!

Exactly. No plot is better than a hackneyed one.

*from the balcony*Oh ho ho ho ho!

You will feel pain and humiliation like no other.

I'm already married.

[Rutskarn]

So, what's the topic today...

Muppet sex. That's, that's great. Thanks for that, guys.

I'm-a gonna come back later.

[Coidzor]

Which means you're only halfway there. Just wait until you're divorced in your mid thirties-to-forties and unable to get a date on a saturday night and living in a hovel off of bachelor chow.

[Thufir]

SESAME STREET HAD NO FREAKIN' PLOT!

Sesame Street? Epic fail. We're talking about the Muppets. Not the same thing.

But yeah, Miss Piggy's always been the scary one.
However, you have no authority to determine the falling of rocks. As such, Cristo's injuries are revoked.

[Cristo Meyers]

Which means you're only halfway there. Just wait until you're divorced in your mid thirties-to-forties and unable to get a date on a saturday night and living in a hovel off of bachelor chow.

So, it'd be like my college days?

[V'icternus]

Hmm, there seems to be some mistake... it's as if you don't know that Kermit and Yoda are, in fact, the same person. Give or take six hundred years, and a space-time travel device.

[Fredthefighter]

Exactly. No plot is better than a hackneyed one.

*from the balcony*Oh ho ho ho ho!



I'm already married.

Statler and Waldorf! Get him!

"We would but you can't think of a joke for us to say!"

Waldorf: "Bravo, bravo!"
Statler: "Why are you yelling bravo? Did you like it that much?"
Waldorf: "Nope; friend of mine, Joe Bravo, he's sitting in the front row. Bravo!"



Animal!

Yupyup.

Get him.

*Sicks Animal on Cristo*



And marriage can't be that bad... can it?

[Phase]

I must say, if I were bound to watch either the Muppets for all time, or Star Wars, I know which one I'd choose...

[V'icternus]

I couldn't pick... I think I'd pick the muppets, though, if only because there's more hours of footage...