The Dancing Paladin of Dance

[AtwasAwamps]

This is apropos of nothing, but I have nobody to tell my gaming stories to. My other friends are not gamers of any sort, my girlfriend puts up with them good naturedly but there’s a limit to how much I can inflict on her, and my gaming friends were, you know, there for them.

So, we had just beat up some cultists. A lot of cultists. Epic levels of cultist defeating occurred. The near-death of our dragon shaman, for example (stabilized at -9 while nobody in the room could get to her). My paladin goes up a level and gets access to his second smite evil per day AND charging smite (cause screw horsies). We are all happy, etc. etc.

Party splits up to handle some errands. The cleric and I are by the docks, the rest of the party off doing something else. We suddenly discover that the cleric’s shield…his favorite shield…it’s his binky, really…could be EEEEVIL. So he throws it down. He and I begin inspecting it. I hit it with some lay on hands, do my detect evil thing, etc. etc. The rest of the party joins up. We hit it with negative energy from the cleric. Things are going wacky. We forgot something important.

People in this town are suspicious of magic.

Any. Kind. Of Magic.

Our wacky handwaving has garnered a lot of attention and not all of it is good. In an attempt to dissuade such negative attentions, our resident swashbuckler flashes her winning smile at everyone around and gestures to me (A large, farm-boy style paladin in full plate, hefting around a tower shield on his back) and says “He’s a street performer!” Everyone laughs and claps. So I roll with it. I roll a perform check: street theater. I have zero ranks in perform of any sort, so this should be funny. I like doing stuff like this. I roll pronounce checks for a language the swashbuckler is trying to teach me (which has resulted in me thanking people by offering them goats).
So, on this perform check, which the DM graciously allows me to roll despite any lack of sense to the act at all…

Nat 20.

I describe my crazy plate-clad folk tap dance. There is clanking and awesomeness. People clap and cheer and throw money. The swashbuckler is gathering up coins while important discussions and research are going on behind us. Until the rest of the party notices me dancing. And just stares.

Monk: “Roland…didn’t you grow up on a farm?”
Paladin: “Ever been to a country fair before?” ::clank clank clank do si do!::
Monk: “What…exactly…is a do si do?”
Paladin: ::takes monk by the shoulders:: Allow me to explain…

Cue fake discussion of D&D country dancing that my DM wouldn’t let me go into because people were dying of laughter. I plan on showing up next session with a list of things I have told the monk about. It’s awesome.

[Pharaoh's Fist]

Have you ever considered multiclassing into Bard?

[truemane]

Hahaha. That's an excellent story.

"There is clanking and awesomeness." That is my new favourite sentance of all time. I can't imagine when I'll ever get to use it in conversation, but one day 10 years from now it'll happen, I'll throw it down and laugh my face off and no one will have any idea what the hell is going on.

[ErrantX]

Hm. What level are you? Paladin/Bards are an interesting gish combo that you might enjoy.

Indeed it is. I 2nd that and raise you with a prestige class!

-X

[Jade_Tarem]

For your next trick, you could try something like this:

[AtwasAwamps]

Have you ever considered multiclassing into Bard?

It was definitely suggested.

We joked a lot about it. I tend to waste nat 20s. That was my second one of the night (the first being a righteous and painful crit on an unfortunate cultist).

Previously I rolled a crit to convince a cleric in 4e that his religion was slightly flawed. WHOOPS.

I need to stop rolling for jokes.

I haven't yet crit on one of my pronounce checks but if I do it's going to be awesome. I might burst into sonnet.

[sofawall]

It was definitely suggested.

We joked a lot about it. I tend to waste nat 20s. That was my second one of the night (the first being a righteous and painful crit on an unfortunate cultist).

Previously I rolled a crit to convince a cleric in 4e that his religion was slightly flawed. WHOOPS.

I need to stop rolling for jokes.

I haven't yet crit on one of my pronounce checks but if I do it's going to be awesome. I might burst into sonnet.

Oh dear, the things houserules can bring :P

Tell me you don't also use a critical fumble houserule.

[Everyman]

Have you heard of the Slippers of Battledancing? It's an item in either the DMG2 or MIC (maybe both). In a nutshell, they allow you to use Cha for attack rolls. Maybe dancing can be your paladin's muse.
...
Maybe you can crit with them and then yell "You just got served!".

[AtwasAwamps]

Oh dear, the things houserules can bring :P

Tell me you don't also use a critical fumble houserule.

Oh we do. Lord do we.

Yeah. There aren't a ton of houserules. 20 is an automatic success in some way or another, 1 is a critical failure/fumble in one way or another.

Crit fails can be interesting. In combat, we have the standard "Draw from a deck of unfortunate stuff that can happen to you." This has resulted in my paladin, at 0 hit points, surrounded by fiendish apes, managing to disable 2 apes and insult a third to the point of it trying to attack only me. While being at 0 hit points. They ALL fumbled on me. It was my best in-combat performance ever.

On the flip side, out of combat, they are very odd and random. A crit failed spot check can have us see something that isn't there. I admire my group immensely for its ability to not metagame. A crit failed tracking check resulted in them traipsing about the woods for two days much to the DMs delight, with no positive effects at all. It's fun!

I have yet to crit fail pronouncing something but when I do, just you wait. It's going to be awesome.

[sofawall]

Oh we do. Lord do we.

Yeah. There aren't a ton of houserules. 20 is an automatic success in some way or another, 1 is a critical failure/fumble in one way or another.

Crit fails can be interesting. In combat, we have the standard "Draw from a deck of unfortunate stuff that can happen to you." This has resulted in my paladin, at 0 hit points, surrounded by fiendish apes, managing to disable 2 apes and insult a third to the point of it trying to attack only me. While being at 0 hit points. They ALL fumbled on me. It was my best in-combat performance ever.

On the flip side, out of combat, they are very odd and random. A crit failed spot check can have us see something that isn't there. I admire my group immensely for its ability to not metagame. A crit failed tracking check resulted in them traipsing about the woods for two days much to the DMs delight, with no positive effects at all. It's fun!

I have yet to crit fail pronouncing something but when I do, just you wait. It's going to be awesome.

Do me a favour. Make a jump check. Say you are jumping to the moon. You will fail. Do it again. You will fail again. Keep doing it until you roll a 20.

You just jumped to the moon.

[Glass Mouse]

Hey, invoking fumbles and crits on skill checks is AWESOME for the very reason given in the OP.

(Also, I wanna make a paladin/bard now, just for the giggles)

[AtwasAwamps]

Do me a favour. Make a jump check. Say you are jumping to the moon. You will fail. Do it again. You will fail again. Keep doing it until you roll a 20.

You just jumped to the moon.

See, the reason houserules can work is because people go with the tacit understanding that what you just said is an idiotic and stupid thing to do made entirely for the purpose of saying houserules can't work.

Rather than try and ruin part of the fun for my group, I think I'll go ahead and play in the way we all still enjoy.

[Kris Strife]

Hey, invoking fumbles and crits on skill checks is AWESOME for the very reason given in the OP.

(Also, I wanna make a paladin/bard now, just for the giggles)

Grab Devoted Performer if you do. Feat from Complete Scoundrel, removes Bard's must be nonlawful restriction AND lets the classes stack for some things.