Murphy's Law

[Zanaril]

Desecrate... her... temple.

*snort*

Looks like she's having a nice dream.

[CoffeeIncluded]

Desecrate... her... temple.

*snort*

Looks like she's having a nice dream.

*Laughs*

Well, she IS a cleric. That line just popped into my head and it was WAY too good to pass up!

Let's just be thankful that clerics of Astrid don't have to take a vow of chastity. Not even the Lawful ones.

On a similar note...

[Aaron]

Desecrate... her... temple.

*snort*

Looks like she's having a nice dream.

*falls over laughing*

Well, Paladins do have a good Charisma score.

Please update again! *waits in high level anticipation*

[CoffeeIncluded]

*falls over laughing*

Well, Paladins do have a good Charisma score.

Please update again! *waits in high level anticipation*

I love that line.

Then again, it's not as if her ah, "temple" hasn't been, shall we say, "ransacked" before. I think that in Cleric terms, this is the only way to describe it.

What else did you like about this comic?

I'll try to update again this weekend, but no guarantees. Latin test on Monday.

[Aaron]

I love that line.

I'm glad I could implant this in your brainyou love it.

Then again, it's not as if her ah, "temple" hasn't been, shall we say, "ransacked" before. I think that in Cleric terms, this is the only way to describe it.

...*cough*

What else did you like about this comic?

I'll try to update again this weekend, but no guarantees. Latin test on Monday.

I liked Lloyd talking in his sleep.


Ugh, I hate having to take tests on Mondays. Hope you do well.

[CoffeeIncluded]

...*cough*

What?

I liked Lloyd talking in his sleep.

Why, thank you!

[Nathander]

Cute comic.

I think it works as a nice set-up in preparing for what'll be their first (seen) battle together, and thus set up the dynamic for the party. I thought this one flowed very well, and it doesn't creates a sense of anxiety for what's coming next.

Nice one, CoffeeIncluded.

[Aaron]

What?

"Ransacked" her "Temple." Come on, do I really need to go in more details without talking about the Crack Pairings thread?

Why, thank you!

Glad to be a source of inspiration.

[CoffeeIncluded]

"Ransacked" her "Temple." Come on, do I really need to go in more details without talking about the Crack Pairings thread?

I'm saying that she's about as far from a "Vow of chastity" as a good-aligned cleric can get.

And come on, she's perfect for the Crack Pairings Thread!

[Sstoopidtallkid]

For those worried, a Gargantuan Spider is over-CRd at 8. This one likely lacks the Web, too. And the party has a Druid, whose pet can probably take it. Not to mention she can turn into a Bear. The Rogue could sleep through this and them not have a problem.

[Asta Kask]

I'll try to update again this weekend, but no guarantees. Latin test on Monday.

I made it a point of honor to never study the day before a test, to clear my mind and relax. It worked well for me.

Liked the comic - hmm... desecrate my temple... would she even consider it desecration? Ah, well.

I assume clerics of Astrid has access to powerful Abjuration magic or they'd have problems adventuring at all.

[CoffeeIncluded]

Liked the comic - hmm... desecrate my temple... would she even consider it desecration?

No. No, she would not.

I assume clerics of Astrid has access to powerful Abjuration magic or they'd have problems adventuring at all.

Actually her domains are Fire, Good, Healing, Sun, and Water. I actually worked this out. Guess which two Janine chose.

And no, not all of her clerics are like this. Janine's just a bit...Well, more than a bit...Yeah.

[Asta Kask]

No. No, she would not.

I assume moist cavern complexes would be favored as temple grounds. So the pick-up line for her clerics would be "Would you like to come and worship at my temple?" (Or "can I worship at your temple?")

[CoffeeIncluded]

I assume moist cavern complexes would be favored as temple grounds. So the pick-up line for her clerics would be "Would you like to come and worship at my temple?" (Or "can I worship at your temple?")

Well...It's her's. We'll meet some other clerics of Astrid later on. And the largest temple on the continent dedicated to her.

Now imagine if her clerics had to take a vow of chastity...

[Asta Kask]

Well...It's her's. We'll meet some other clerics of Astrid later on. And the largest temple on the continent dedicated to her.

Now imagine if her clerics had to take a vow of chastity...

I think you missed my double entendre. Or perhaps you just didn't think it funny.

Vow of chastity - hmm... I imagine dissension in the ranks.

[CoffeeIncluded]

I think you missed my double entendre. Or perhaps you just didn't think it funny.

Vow of chastity - hmm... I imagine dissension in the ranks.

I didn't miss it.

Janine: Astrid is a benevolent goddess. She will accept anyone with a good heart into her ranks. And True Neutrals. There's no restriction based on...Habits and preferences; otherwise I'd start my own religion.

Radic: You know, when we're traveling together, about half the time we're forced to get two separate rooms at the inn. I make her foot the extra bill.

[Dark Faun]

Haha, this Astrid reminds me of the human goddess of love, Geshtianna, from Arcanum; in the immortal words of Virgil: "they have an orgy every year and call it a religious festival!"

And a forced vow of chastity would be the perfect way to scare the priests into doing what the higher-ups want...

Nice comic, though I can't believe they're stupid enough to sleep without a guard. I'd think Lloyd (because I don't trust the others' intelligence) would be smart enough to avoid such a mistake in a forest crawling with critters.

[CoffeeIncluded]

Haha, this Astrid reminds me of the human goddess of love, Geshtianna, from Arcanum; in the immortal words of Virgil: "they have an orgy every year and call it a religious festival!"

And a forced vow of chastity would be the perfect way to scare the priests into doing what the higher-ups want...

Nice comic, though I can't believe they're stupid enough to sleep without a guard. I'd think Lloyd (because I don't trust the others' intelligence) would be smart enough to avoid such a mistake in a forest crawling with critters.

Actually, quite a few of Astrid's clerics (Mostly the Lawful ones ) have little patience for Janine's antics. That's really funny though.

Well, actually, Remus was standing guard, but he dozed off about two minutes before the events of this comic...Perfect timing, Remus.

[Dark Faun]

"Mostly the Lawful ones?"

Have you already forgotten the Tavern of Infinite One-Night Stands?

It's their fault for trusting a riding dog to do a guard dog's job.

If I were Lloyd, though, I wouldn't be exactly comfortable with sleeping anywhere near Janine. I'd expect to end up waking up only to find out she managed to squeeze herself into my sleeping bag. Naked.

[Asta Kask]

If I were Lloyd, though, I wouldn't be exactly comfortable with sleeping anywhere near Janine. I'd expect to end up waking up only to find out she managed to squeeze herself into my sleeping bag. Naked.

J: It's so cold outside. Can I sleep in your sleeping bag.

L: You know, it really would be warmer if you put on your clothes. Just a suggestion.

[CoffeeIncluded]

"Mostly the Lawful ones?"

Have you already forgotten the Tavern of Infinite One-Night Stands?

It's their fault for trusting a riding dog to do a guard dog's job.

If I were Lloyd, though, I wouldn't be exactly comfortable with sleeping anywhere near Janine. I'd expect to end up waking up only to find out she managed to squeeze herself into my sleeping bag. Naked.

Yes, but they're supposed to make people feel guilty about sex.

For Janine? A protection spell and Remove Disease, just in case.

Radic and Janine have had Remus stand guard before.

Now imagine when Lloyd wakes up and hears her talking in her sleep!

Note that your comic is pretty much what she's dreaming about.

J: It's so cold outside. Can I sleep in your sleeping bag.

L: You know, it really would be warmer if you put on your clothes. Just a suggestion.

Later on in the comic, they are going to a snowy wasteland...

[Dark Faun]

Yes, but they're supposed to make people feel guilty about sex.

For Janine? A protection spell and Remove Disease, just in case.

But protection spells can fail.

Radic and Janine have had Remus stand guard before.

I hope they'll mention that Remus was supposed to stand guard in an upcoming comic, because such answers aren't supposed to be found outside the comic.

Now imagine when Lloyd wakes up and hears her talking in her sleep!

Poor Lloyd. If he stands guard while she sleeps, he'll hear her fantasies (that might or might not involve Radic and/or Matt in addition to him). If he stands guard with her... do I really need to say what will happen if they're the two only awake people during a long, cold night?

Later on in the comic, they are going to a snowy wasteland...

And she'll just happen to lose her own sleeping bag...

"There's a hand in my boxers."
"It's mine. I was cold."
"You better remove it if you don't want mine on your face."

[CoffeeIncluded]

But protection spells can fail.

Not when they're backed by divine magic.

I hope they'll mention that Remus was supposed to stand guard in an upcoming comic, because if not people will wonder the same thing as me and a comic is supposed to have all its answers inside itself, not given by the author in an external comment.

Of course I was planning that! What do you take me for?

Poor Lloyd. If he stands guard while she sleeps, he'll hear her fantasies (that might or might not involve Radic and/or Matt in addition to him). If he stands guard with her... do I really need to say what will happen if they're the two only awake people during a long, cold night?


And she'll just happen to lose her own sleeping bag...

"There's a hand in my boxers."
"It's mine. I was cold."
"You better remove it if you don't want mine on your face."

I smell crack pairing!

The next morning:

Matt: What the hell?!

Radic: ...Ugh, Janine...

Janine:

Lloyd: ...I can't feel my legs...

[Asta Kask]

But protection spells can fail.

I wonder if there is an "abortion" spell available. I wouldn't dare discuss the morals of it, however. Too close to politics/religion.

And she'll just happen to lose her own sleeping bag...

At which point he'll kindly, but firmly, show her the Protection from Energy spell - which includes cold.

[CoffeeIncluded]

At which point he'll kindly, but firmly, show her the Protection from Energy spell - which includes cold.

More like he'd cast Protection From Chaos.

[Dark Faun]

Lloyd will want to invest in a Protection From Janine ring... I'm sure the main Astrid temple sells plenty of those...

I smell crack pairing!

The next morning:

Matt: What the hell?!

Radic: ...Ugh, Janine...

Janine:

Lloyd: ...I can't feel my legs...

First, it's not a crack pairing since Janine does want Lloyd to violate her shrine with reckless abandon.

Second, how did you get from Janine putting her hand in Lloyd's boxers and getting threatened for it to Lloyd not feeling his legs anymore?

[CoffeeIncluded]

Lloyd will want to invest in a Protection From Janine ring... I'm sure the main Astrid temple sells plenty of those...

They probably will after she goes there.

First, it's not a crack pairing since Janine does want Lloyd to violate her shrine with reckless abandon.

Second, how did you get from Janine putting her hand in Lloyd's boxers and getting threatened for it to Lloyd not feeling his legs anymore?

1. What about when you include Radic and Matt?

2. If things go Janine's way it would probably lead to a scenario where Lloyd would eventually stumble off to put ice on his groin or something due to "overuse", high Constitution be damned.

[ShinyDelusion]

Here's another fic for Murphy's Law. Has the classic, canon, one-sided Janine/Lloyd and a little bit of Radic/Lloyd (also one-sided, as far as we know), thrown in at the end just for fun.

Takes place at night before and partially during (mostly between panels) #11 of Murphy's Law and includes an exerpt from my Belkar/Matt fic (Matt's nightmare).

Spoiler

Show

“Nice try, Ears,” said the Halfling, “But you really should have chosen a disguise that looked like it actually belonged in max security.” With a disturbing suddenness, the Halfling grinned. “Since you obviously can’t break out of this cell anymore than I can… Do you know what they do to pretty, purple-haired little elf-boys like you in prison, Vaarsuvius?”

“It’s Matt,” Matt spat, but his face was paling.

Brandishing the lethally sharp spoon, the madman said, “Because I’m about to show you.”

“Nooooooo!” Matt cried upon abruptly waking, sitting straight up. Rubbing his eyes, he said gruffly but a little sheepishly, “Sorry, I know that’s one of the most annoying clichés in the book, but…” He looked around him. All three of the other adventurers were still asleep. “Okay… Nevermind.” Shuddering a little and trying to push the nightmare out of his thoughts, he slowly lied back down.

“Mmm… Glad you think so Lloyd… Now come here…”

“What?” Matt sat back up, looking around himself again. Everyone was still asleep. He glanced at Lloyd. Nope, definitely not doing anything to Janine. He glanced at Janine—

“Oh, Lloyd, I think I’m wounded…”

“Wounded?” Matt repeated, raising an eyebrow. He’d never heard that one before.

“You must Lay Hands on me…”

Oh. That made sense. He should’ve seen that one coming, really. As Janine’s words dissolved into little moans that made him uncomfortable on multiple levels, he lied back again, muttering, “Who seriously talks in their sleep anyway?” and tried to go back to sleep.

“Let me show you another use for Water Drops…”

Water Drops? Matt frowned. Weren’t those those little pills wizards could make out of water that released mouthfuls of water when you chewed on them?

“That’s right, put it there…”

“What the…?” Matt murmured.

“Now squeeze… Ah!”

“Is she…?”

“Mmm… You know, if you’re Good…” There was a little snorting sound that might have been Janine giggling, “The water tastes sweet… Oh, yes…”

“Oh, no…” Matt said with a grunt, rolling over and clutching his stomach. He did not want to hear this.

“I also know another use for—”

“Gah!” Matt cried, clapping his hands over his ears. How am I going to get back to sleep with this show playing in the background? Well, he couldn’t hear her with his hands over his ears, at least. Okay. I can do this… He started taking deep breaths in an attempt to make himself fall asleep faster while keeping his hands over his ears. Though this method wasn’t quite as efficient as he’d hoped for it to be, after about half an hour he felt himself drifting off. His arms relaxed has he sunk into a peaceful slumber, his hands gently falling away from his ears…

“Oh, Lloyd, I didn’t know you were a sorcerer…”

“Huh…?” Matt muttered sleepily.

“There really are a lot of uses for Prestidigitation… Mmm…”

Ba-dum, ting! Matt’s half-dreaming mind supplied for that one liner as he let out a moan of protest. He tried to sit up again, but realized he was already falling asleep, Janine’s words weaving themselves into his dreams…

---

“Nooooo!” Matt cried out again, awaking while sitting bolt upright for the second time that night. Taking deep breaths to calm himself down, he looked around to find that once again he’d failed to wake up the other three adventurers. It wouldn’t have been all that bad, he mused, wiping the cold sweat from his brow, if there hadn’t been so much… Lloyd. After shooting a glare at the now innocently silent Janine, he lied back and was asleep within minutes.

---

Remus raised his head to make his best you-should-feel-guilty sad eyes at the screaming human but to no avail; the little punk didn’t even glance at him. Apparently no one cares if they wake up just a dog in the middle of the night. As Matt went back to sleep, Remus put his own head back down with a self-righteous sniff, but raised it again after a few seconds.

Remus heard a sound. It sounded like an animal sound, but it wasn’t a familiar sound. A weird tp-tp-tp-tp-tping was prowling in a circle around them. The dog scanned the forest as best as he could, a low growl rumbling in the back of his throat. It was hard to tell now that Radic’s friend had started muttering in her sleep again, but after a few seconds it sounded like the tp-tping had stopped. This didn’t make Remus feel any better. Whining a little, he nudged Radic’s arm with his nose.

---

“Urg, Remus…” Radic groaned, batting her companion’s cold nose away from her, “What is it?”

Remus whined and poked her arm with his nose again.

“Okay, okay,” said Radic, sitting up and scratching him behind an ear, “What’s wrong, boy?”

“Mmrr… Lloyd,” Janine murmured, “You can… Desecrate my temple… Anyday…”

“Well that’s nothing new,” said Radic, playing with Remus’ ears, “Did she wake you up?”

Remus sniffed a little and let out another whimper.

“Northern ambush… Gnnh…” Lloyd was muttering, a sheen of sweat shining on his face.

“Oh,” said Radic, glancing over at him, “Poor guy… Wonder what’s going on in there?”

---

Remus settled down with a sigh while Radic sat down near the boy with a horse, stroking his hair occasionally and whispering little sympathetic phrases. It was just his luck that when he tries to warn her about possible danger, she decides she wants to get a head start on mating with something just because it looked pitiful when it slept. Oh well, he still hadn’t heard any more tp-tping, so maybe they were safe after all.

---

Lloyd seemed to be sleeping more peacefully now, and even though the way his face looked so smooth and elegant in the moonlight made Radic feel warm and giddy inside, at last she decided it was time she got back to sleeping too. As she drifted off next to a a sleeping Remus, oblivious to a faint tp-tp-tping sound approaching the camp from a distance, she decided that this was going to be the best campaign ever.

[CoffeeIncluded]

Here's another fic for Murphy's Law. Has the classic, canon, one-sided Janine/Lloyd and a little bit of Radic/Lloyd (also one-sided, as far as we know), thrown in at the end just for fun.

Takes place at night before and partially during (mostly between panels) #11 of Murphy's Law and includes an exerpt from my Belkar/Matt fic (Matt's nightmare).

Spoiler

Show

“Nice try, Ears,” said the Halfling, “But you really should have chosen a disguise that looked like it actually belonged in max security.” With a disturbing suddenness, the Halfling grinned. “Since you obviously can’t break out of this cell anymore than I can… Do you know what they do to pretty, purple-haired little elf-boys like you in prison, Vaarsuvius?”

“It’s Matt,” Matt spat, but his face was paling.

Brandishing the lethally sharp spoon, the madman said, “Because I’m about to show you.”

“Nooooooo!” Matt cried upon abruptly waking, sitting straight up. Rubbing his eyes, he said gruffly but a little sheepishly, “Sorry, I know that’s one of the most annoying clichés in the book, but…” He looked around him. All three of the other adventurers were still asleep. “Okay… Nevermind.” Shuddering a little and trying to push the nightmare out of his thoughts, he slowly lied back down.

“Mmm… Glad you think so Lloyd… Now come here…”

“What?” Matt sat back up, looking around himself again. Everyone was still asleep. He glanced at Lloyd. Nope, definitely not doing anything to Janine. He glanced at Janine—

“Oh, Lloyd, I think I’m wounded…”

“Wounded?” Matt repeated, raising an eyebrow. He’d never heard that one before.

“You must Lay Hands on me…”

Oh. That made sense. He should’ve seen that one coming, really. As Janine’s words dissolved into little moans that made him uncomfortable on multiple levels, he lied back again, muttering, “Who seriously talks in their sleep anyway?” and tried to go back to sleep.

“Let me show you another use for Water Drops…”

Water Drops? Matt frowned. Weren’t those those little pills wizards could make out of water that released mouthfuls of water when you chewed on them?

“That’s right, put it there…”

“What the…?” Matt murmured.

“Now squeeze… Ah!”

“Is she…?”

“Mmm… You know, if you’re Good…” There was a little snorting sound that might have been Janine giggling, “The water tastes sweet… Oh, yes…”

“Oh, no…” Matt said with a grunt, rolling over and clutching his stomach. He did not want to hear this.

“I also know another use for—”

“Gah!” Matt cried, clapping his hands over his ears. How am I going to get back to sleep with this show playing in the background? Well, he couldn’t hear her with his hands over his ears, at least. Okay. I can do this… He started taking deep breaths in an attempt to make himself fall asleep faster while keeping his hands over his ears. Though this method wasn’t quite as efficient as he’d hoped for it to be, after about half an hour he felt himself drifting off. His arms relaxed has he sunk into a peaceful slumber, his hands gently falling away from his ears…

“Oh, Lloyd, I didn’t know you were a sorcerer…”

“Huh…?” Matt muttered sleepily.

“There really are a lot of uses for Prestidigitation… Mmm…”

Ba-dum, ting! Matt’s half-dreaming mind supplied for that one liner as he let out a moan of protest. He tried to sit up again, but realized he was already falling asleep, Janine’s words weaving themselves into his dreams…

---

“Nooooo!” Matt cried out again, awaking while sitting bolt upright for the second time that night. Taking deep breaths to calm himself down, he looked around to find that once again he’d failed to wake up the other three adventurers. It wouldn’t have been all that bad, he mused, wiping the cold sweat from his brow, if there hadn’t been so much… Lloyd. After shooting a glare at the now innocently silent Janine, he lied back and was asleep within minutes.

---

Remus raised his head to make his best you-should-feel-guilty sad eyes at the screaming human but to no avail; the little punk didn’t even glance at him. Apparently no one cares if they wake up just a dog in the middle of the night. As Matt went back to sleep, Remus put his own head back down with a self-righteous sniff, but raised it again after a few seconds.

Remus heard a sound. It sounded like an animal sound, but it wasn’t a familiar sound. A weird tp-tp-tp-tp-tping was prowling in a circle around them. The dog scanned the forest as best as he could, a low growl rumbling in the back of his throat. It was hard to tell now that Radic’s friend had started muttering in her sleep again, but after a few seconds it sounded like the tp-tping had stopped. This didn’t make Remus feel any better. Whining a little, he nudged Radic’s arm with his nose.

---

“Urg, Remus…” Radic groaned, batting her companion’s cold nose away from her, “What is it?”

Remus whined and poked her arm with his nose again.

“Okay, okay,” said Radic, sitting up and scratching him behind an ear, “What’s wrong, boy?”

“Mmrr… Lloyd,” Janine murmured, “You can… Desecrate my temple… Anyday…”

“Well that’s nothing new,” said Radic, playing with Remus’ ears, “Did she wake you up?”

Remus sniffed a little and let out another whimper.

“Northern ambush… Gnnh…” Lloyd was muttering, a sheen of sweat shining on his face.

“Oh,” said Radic, glancing over at him, “Poor guy… Wonder what’s going on in there?”

---

Remus settled down with a sigh while Radic sat down near the boy with a horse, stroking his hair occasionally and whispering little sympathetic phrases. It was just his luck that when he tries to warn her about possible danger, she decides she wants to get a head start on mating with something just because it looked pitiful when it slept. Oh well, he still hadn’t heard any more tp-tping, so maybe they were safe after all.

---

Lloyd seemed to be sleeping more peacefully now, and even though the way his face looked so smooth and elegant in the moonlight made Radic feel warm and giddy inside, at last she decided it was time she got back to sleeping too. As she drifted off next to a a sleeping Remus, oblivious to a faint tp-tp-tping sound approaching the camp from a distance, she decided that this was going to be the best campaign ever.

You are absolutely hysterical and I love this and your work.


Really, Janine's just going to get more and more aggressive about getting Lloyd in the sack with her as time goes on.

At one point Radic runs into Janine, who is holding a box while grinning manically.

In the box? Remember the V/Elan/Haley Crack pairing I did before? The one with Haley's fantasy and all the..."Implements?"

...

Janine: *Points to various objects in the box* This one's made of rubber, this one's leather, that one bounces, and this one over here jangles!

Radic: ................................


At that point Radic decides that it is a *very* good idea to get a room of her own.

Incidentally, many nights that they traveled alone together Radic was forced to get a room of her own. Something's telling me that Janine isn't exactly...Quiet.

[Dark Faun]

Janine: *Points to various objects in the box* This one's made of rubber, this one's leather, that one bounces, and this one over here jangles!

Radic: And this one *points to fist* will get into your face if you don't rein in your libido.

Is it in character?