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    Ettin in the Playground
     
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    Default Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Hello, and welcome to the fourth Crack Pairings thread. If you haven't read the previous ones yet, you can do so here, here, and here.

    Or, if you don't wish to read through all 149 pages, here's the short version: we have a roller and some tables. You roll a pairing, and maybe a plot device, then you write it, draw it, act it out, interpretive dance it, whatever! Apparently we like this sort of thing.

    Please remember to keep it clean, folks! The board rules still apply!

    When posting a pairing, please at least try to do something with it. We like it when people try!


    New: Sure, we won't be winning any Oscars or anything, but that doesn't mean we can't have our own little awards.

    Should you wish to roll a pairing, Sgeo coded up a roller for us. If you want that personal touch, go roll on the tables, or make up your own pairing!

    Banners!
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    Image hosting sites only allow pictures to get a small amount of bandwidth. If you could, please upload banners to an account of your own to not use as much bandwidth for our talented artists, 'less all the beautiful banners disappear.

    Text:


    Zanaril's
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    Funky Goose's
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    Discord's
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    Saeyan
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    rangermania
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    Trixie
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    MReav
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    Kaytara
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    half-halfling
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    Tables!
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    Initial Table
    Roll 2d6 (or more!) decide which tables to pick the characters from.
    1. OotS Table 1
    2. OotS Table 2
    3. OotS Table 3
    4. OotS Table 4
    5. Minion List
    6. Dead Guy List


    Table 1 - By Minion992929
    1. Roy
    2. Durkon
    3. Celia
    4. Xykon
    5. Tsukiko
    6. Vaarsuvius
    7. Monster in The Dark
    8. Miko
    9. Nale
    10. Elan
    11. Haley
    12. Belkar
    13. Lord Shojo
    14. Redcloak
    15. Hinjo
    16. Daigo
    17. Kazumi
    18. Inkyrius
    19. Roll again twice
    20. Roll again and switch gender


    Table 2 - By Minion 992929
    1. The Guy with a halberd
    2. Sarah Greenhilt
    3. Haley's dad
    4. Thanh
    5. Julio Scoundrél
    6. Mr. Rodriguez
    7. Horace Greenhilt
    8. Therkla
    9. Zz'Dtri
    10. YokYok
    11. Leeky Windstaff
    12. The Cliffport chief of police
    13. Windstriker
    14. Jirix
    15. Lien
    16. Argent
    17. Yor
    18. Roll again twice
    19. Roll again on twice on Initial Table
    20. Roll again and switch gender


    Table 3 - By Minion992929
    1. Soon Kim (incorporeal)
    2. Shadowdancer
    3. Hilgya
    4. Dorukan
    5. Bozzok
    6. Crystal
    7. Bandit King
    8. Ancient Black Dragon
    9. O-Chul
    10. The Snarl
    11. The Eye of Fear and Flame
    12. Lord Kubota
    13. Thog
    14. Julia Greenhilt
    15. Belkar
    16. The oracle
    17. Jephton/Haerta/Ganneron
    18. Roll again twice on Initial Table
    19. Roll again twice
    20. Roll again and switch gender


    Table 4 - By Minion 992929
    1. The dragon's hoard
    2. The chimera
    3. The really dangerous trap
    4. Roy's Archon
    5. The Hydra
    6. Teevo
    7. Xykon's zombie dragon head
    8. Roy's sword
    9. The entire Hobgoblin army
    10. The orc chieftain
    11. The IFCC
    12. Durkon while under the effects of Thor's might
    13. Mr Scruffy
    14. Hieronymus Grubwiggler
    15. All of the Demon Roaches at once
    16. Bone golem Roy
    17. Roll again twice
    18. Roll again on Tables 1, 2, and 3
    19. Roll again twice on Initial Table
    20. Roll again and switch gender


    Minion List -Made By MReav
    1. Goblin
    2. Hobgoblin
    3. Kobold
    4. Ogre
    5. Lizardfolk
    6. Bug-people
    7. Azure City Soldier
    8. Bandit or Thieves Guild Member
    9. Orc
    10. Owlbear
    11. Troll (flip coin to determine land or sea)
    12. Zombie
    13. Ghoul
    14. City Guardsman
    15. Angel-thing
    16. Ghost Martyr
    17. Roll again on another table.
    18. Roll again twice
    19. Roll Again and invert alignment
    20. Roll again for minion army


    Dead Guy List -Made By MReav
    1. Samantha
    2. Sangwaan
    3. Hobgoblin General
    4. Azure City General
    5. Death Knight
    6. Huecva
    7. Trigak
    8. Earth Dungeon Guardian
    9. Fire Dungeon Guardian
    10. Kraagor
    11. Mijung
    12. Eugene Greenhilt
    13. Old Blind Pete
    14. Giant Devil
    15. Buggy-Lou
    16. Isamu.
    17. Roll Again on a different table
    18. Roll Again Twice
    19. Roll Again and Switch Gender
    20. Roll again. If you roll this option twice in a row: Eastern Pantheon and World 1.0


    Supplemental Plot Devices (Optional!) - By Nerdanel
    1. Unrequited love
    2. Love potion
    3. Drunkenness
    4. Snowed in
    5. Stuck on a desert island
    6. In the afterlife
    7. Aliens Made Them Do It (not necessarily literal aliens)
    8. True love
    9. Love/hate relationship
    10. Adultery
    11. Pregnancy (use male pregnancy if needed)
    12. Pink frills and white lace
    13. French maid costume
    14. Police/military uniform
    15. High heels and black leather
    16. American high school setting
    17. Someone is a vampire
    18. Everyone is a furry version of themselves
    19. Kidnapped (By somebody inside or outside of the pairing)
    20. Roll again twice




    Of course, feel free to make up your own pairings!
    Last edited by The Dark Fiddler; 2009-12-20 at 07:11 PM.
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    Barbarian in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Crack Pairings Story Index

    Stories by Asta Kask
    Stories by badam104172
    Stories by baf
    Stories by BatRobin
    Stories by Belkster11
    Stories by The Blackbird
    Stories by TheBibliophile
    Stories by CheeseMuncher
    Stories by Cire II
    Stories by ClericOfBelker
    Stories by Closak
    Stories by CoffeeIncluded
    Stories by Cracklord
    Miko/Durkon
    Inkyrius/Bozzok
    O-Chul/Thog
    Therkla/Crystal
    Nale/The Shadow Dancer/Soulsplice
    Tsukiko/Soon
    Leeky Windstaff/Lord Kubota
    Teevo/Thanh
    O-Chul/Chief Grukgruk
    Bozzok/Tsukiko/Crystal
    Nale/Hinjo/O-Chul/Julia
    Xykon/Thog
    Edward Cullen/Harry Potter/Raistlin Majere/Xykon/Tsukiko/Lien/Stanley the Tool/Winston Churchill
    Xykon/Julio Scoundrel
    Belkar/Jenny
    Eugene/Ydranna
    Bozzok/Haley
    Lord Shojo/Julio Scoundrel
    Durkon/Lien
    Durkon/Lien
    Durkon/Lien
    Durkon/Lien
    Durkon/Lien [The Beginning]
    Julia Greenhilt/Xykon
    Bozzok/Zz'Dtri
    Julia/Roy's Sword
    Durkon/Lien
    Roy/Sabine
    Shojo/Miko
    Durkon/Lien
    Belkar in Hell [Part 1]
    Belkar in Hell [Part 2]
    Belkar in Hell [Part 3]
    Belkar in Hell [Part 4]
    Belkar in Hell [Part 5]
    Soon Kim/Mijung
    Durkon/Lien
    The OOTS in Girard's Gate [Part 1]
    The OOTS in Girard's Gate [Part 2]
    The OOTS in Girard's Gate [Part 3]
    The OOTS in Girard's Gate [Part 4]
    The OOTS in Girard's Gate [Part 5]
    The OOTS in Girard's Gate [Part 6]
    The OOTS in Girard's Gate [Part 7]
    Stories by CurlyKitGirl
    Stories by Dak Frostwrath
    Stories by The Dark Fiddler
    Stories by DarkElfGangsta
    Stories by Dark_Stryke
    Stories by Discord
    Stories by doliest
    Stories by Dra-Goon
    Stories by Dr.Gunsforhands
    Stories by Elan's Modron
    Stories by Elvenblade
    Stories by esmerelder
    Stories by Expeditious
    Stories by Forevernade
    Stories by Gimliggamer
    Stories by golentan
    Stories by Hijax
    Stories by Introbulus
    Stories by jogiff
    Stories by Kaytara
    Stories by Kill Screen
    Stories by Kirby
    Stories by Kitteh
    Stories by Kobold-Bard
    Stories by Kraggi
    Stories by Kyronea
    Stories by Lawyergoblin
    Stories by lindorm
    Stories by Lollie
    Stories by Lycan 01
    Stories by MagicianMan5
    Stories by Malkar Grumbo
    Stories by MasamuneSSX
    Stories by Metalhead
    Stories by mizzim
    Stories by Monzach
    Stories by Moofin Bard
    Stories by Moon_Called
    Stories by MReav
    Stories by Mr. Cales
    Stories by NamonakiRei
    Stories by Nathander
    Stories by NemoUtopia
    Stories by Nerdanel
    Stories by The Odor
    Stories by Omergideon
    Stories by Pid6
    Stories by pnewman
    Stories by PsychoPat
    Stories by Ronnoc
    Stories by RPGAgmJAY
    Stories by Saeyan
    Stories by SaintRidley
    Stories by Sequinox
    Stories by Sereg
    Stories by Sewblon
    Stories by ShinyDelusion
    Stories by Silverraptor
    Stories by Somniloquist
    Stories by Sstoopidtallkid
    Stories by Taekwondodo
    Stories by Tatterdemalion
    Stories by Thor Person Guy
    Stories by Tira-chan
    Stories by TooManySecrets
    Stories by TSED
    Stories by waterpenguin43
    Stories by Water-Smurf
    In the Arms of MorpheusIcelusCurse of PhobetorTragedy of HypnosPasithea's MessengerIn Vino VeritasActa Non VerbaPawns of the Gods
    Stories by Weimann
    Stories by WhereamI?
    Stories by Xesirin
    Stories by yubel
    Stories by Zanaril
    Stories by Zen_Heart
    Stories by Ziren
    Stories by Zolkabro
    Last edited by Lira; 2009-12-29 at 05:32 PM.
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    Barbarian in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Crack Pairings Art Compilation
    A compilation of the art made specifically for the Crack Pairings Thread.

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    Art by BatRobin

    Tiasal (version one).


    Tiasal (version two).



    Art by Belkster11

    Sangwaan and Hinjo.



    Art by CheeseMuncher

    Vaarsuvius and Redcloak.


    Belkar.


    Vaarsuvius and Redcloak.


    Vaarsuvius and Roy.


    Xykon and Redcloak.


    Redcloak and Vaarsuvius.


    Tsukiko and Redcloak.


    Tsukiko and Redcloak (coloured version).


    Spliced Inkyrius.


    Vaarsuvius.


    Child of Redcloak and Vaarsuvius.


    Child of Redcloak and Vaarsuvius.


    Celia and Vaarsuvius.


    Redcloak and Xykon.




    Art by CoffeeIncluded

    Inkyrius, Vaarsuvius and their children.




    Art by Delorges

    Vaarsuvius and Redcloak.


    Miko and O-Chul.



    Art by Discord

    Vaarsuvius and Miko.


    Tsukiko and Vaarsuvius.


    Vaarsuvius and Tsukiko.


    Lirian and Aarindarius.



    Art by Expeditious

    Vaarsuvius and Blackwing.


    Vaarsuvius.



    Art by Funky Goose




    A comic version of Water-Smurf's Vaarsuvius/Redcloak story.


    Half-dragon child of Belkar.


    Young Roy and the Little Psion that Could.



    Art by half-halfling

    Vaarsuvius and V's personifications of femininity and masculinity.


    Vaarsuvius, Inkyrius, their children and the soul splice.


    Tsukiko and Jirix.


    Haley and Vaarsuvius.


    MiTD and Tsukiko.


    Child of Redcloak and Vaarsuvius.


    Inkyrius and Vaarsuvius.


    Vaarsuvius' Parent and young Vaarsuvius.


    Inkyrius and Vaarsuvius.


    Vaarsuvius and Redcloak.


    Tiasal and Terentius.


    Jirix, Tsukiko, Redcloak, Celia, Belkar, Roy, Haley, Vaarsuvius, Inkyrius and their children, wishing Kaytara a happy birthday.


    Tiasal, Tsukiko, and Xykon.


    Plushie Dragon Vaarsuvius.


    Aarindarius, Vaarsuvius, Inkyrius and their children.


    Aarindarius.


    Roy and Miko.


    Therkla and Miko.



    Art by Kaytara

    Vaarsuvius.


    Vaarsuvius and Redcloak.


    Vaarsuvius.


    Vaarsuvius and Roy.


    Vaarsuvius and Roy (coloured version).


    Young Vaarsuvius.


    Spliced Inkyrius.


    Vaarsuvius and Miko.


    Vaarsuvius and Miko (coloured version).


    Redcloak and Vaarsuvius.


    Mr. Scruffy, Belkar, Vaarsuvius, and Blackwing.


    Aarindarius.


    Aarindarius.


    Aarindarius (coloured version).


    Redcloak, Vaarsuvius, and their child.


    Redcloak, Vaarsuvius, and their child (coloured version).


    Right-Eye and Redcloak.


    Tiasal, Xykon, and Tsukiko.


    Tiasal.



    Art by Kirby

    Haley and Vaarsuvius.


    Spliced Elan.



    Art by The Neoclassic



    Lien and the Yellow-Eyed Fiend.


    Evil Lien.



    Art by Saeyan

    Vaarsuvius with a Miko doll.


    Vaarsuvius with a Miko doll.


    Aarindarius and Inkyrius.


    Zz'dtri and Vaarsuvius.


    Inkyrius.


    Aarindarius, Inkyrius, and Vaarsuvius.


    A wanted sign for Zanaril.


    A wanted sign for Zanaril (version 2).


    Vaarsuvius.


    Inkyrius and Aarindarius, with Vaarsuvius and Zz'dtri in chibi form.


    Aarindarius, Inkyrius, and Vaarsuvius.


    Inkyrius, Vaarsuvius, and Aarindarius.


    Inkyrius and Vaarsuvius.


    Aarindarius and Vaarsuvius.


    Vaarsuvius.


    Child of Redcloak and Vaarsuvius.


    Vaarsuvius.


    Vaarsuvius and V&RC's child.


    Tiasal.


    Vaarsuvius.


    Tsukiko.


    Scenario for Water-Smurf, featuring Tiasal and Redcloak.


    Vaarsuvius and Aarindarius.


    Vaarsuvius and Inkyrius.


    Vaarsuvius and Inkyrius.

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    Aarindarius and Vaarsuvius.



    Art by Tira-chan

    Spock and Vaarsuvius.



    Art by TooManySecrets

    Female living Xykon.



    Art by Trixie

    Celia and Belkar.


    Xykon, Tsukiko, and Miko.



    Art by Zanaril

    Undead Vaarsuvius and Xykon.


    Miko and Vaarsuvius.


    Redcloak and Vaarsuvius.


    Xykon.


    Spliced Inkyrius.


    Spliced Inkyrius.


    Spliced Inkyrius and Vaarsuvius.


    Young Vaarsuvius.


    Tiasal.


    Argent and Windstriker.


    Aarindarius and Vaarsuvius.


    Child of Closak and the ABD.


    Haley and Vaarsuvius.


    Vaarsuvius, Redcloak, and Tiasal.


    Xykon and Tsukiko.
    Last edited by Lira; 2009-12-30 at 12:29 PM.
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  4. - Top - End - #4
    Ogre in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    *takes a deep breath*

    Aah, there's nothing like the smell of a new thread.
    This post may contain sarcasm.
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    Orc in the Playground
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    New thread! Yay!
    Politics is the most accurate word in the English language. "Poli" in Latin meaning "Many" and
    "tics" meaning "little insects"

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    *Groans* Aargh, I go to the bathroom and it's already posted...

    In any case, can anyone pass me the grape juice?

    And shameless advertising ahoy; I started an OOTS-style webcomic called Murphy's Law. Check it out: Link

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    Ettin in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by Zanaril View Post
    *takes a deep breath*

    Aah, there's nothing like the smell of a new thread.
    Indeed...

    Now that this is done, I'd like to ask again if anybody'd be up to drawing a banner for the runner up in the contest, and if anybody would like to be a judge (obviously, you can't enter then).

    I'm off to play Nethack now.

    I will get past level 2, I swear it!
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  8. - Top - End - #8
    Ogre in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by The Dark Fiddler View Post
    Now that this is done, I'd like to ask again if anybody'd be up to drawing a banner for the runner up in the contest, and if anybody would like to be a judge (obviously, you can't enter then).
    I'm up for being a judge!
    This post may contain sarcasm.
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Did Cracklord ever finish that crack pairing I asked for?
    Mystic Unity by DirtyTabs

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    Barbarian in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Mmm. We've outgrown many of our fellow forum legends.

    And I'm severely hung over. (I've gotta stop drinking at the end of the threads...)

    ...

    Zanaril, what did you put in there? I feel funny...
    Last edited by Water-Smurf; 2009-12-03 at 05:31 PM.

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    The April Squickies Award for Best Crack Pairing Story


    Thank you so much to Kaytara for the avatar! It's of Redcloak's and Vaarsuvius's love child.

  11. - Top - End - #11
    Ettin in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by Water-Smurf View Post
    Mmm. We've outgrown many of our fellow forum legends.

    And I'm severely hung over. (I've gotta stop drinking at the end of the threads...)

    ...

    Zanaril, what did you put in there? I feel funny...
    Yes, yes we have. And no sign of stopping, either!

    I'm so proud!
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  12. - Top - End - #12
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by Water-Smurf View Post
    Zanaril, what did you put in there? I feel funny...
    Just a little something I bought from a back-alley alchemist last time I was in Greysky City.
    This post may contain sarcasm.
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    Ettin in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by Zanaril View Post
    Just a little something I bought from a back-alley alchemist last time I was in Greysky City.
    You're evil, Zanaril. Love is not an emotion to be toyed with.

    Except when we write fics about it.
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    New thread, goodie goodie.


    We revolve in infamy.
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    Avatar by KwarkPudding!

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    Ettin in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by BatRobin View Post
    New thread, goodie goodie.


    We [s]revolve[s] revel in infamy.
    That's thread 5, BatRobin. You're a bit ahead of the curve.

    Don't worry, you're not that far ahead. Only another 49 pages or so to go.
    Homebrew: The Guardian | Combat Pragmatist
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    I have nothing inherently useful to say.

    ...

    ...

    ...

    ...

    YAY FOR THREAD FOUR!
    Quote Originally Posted by silversaraph View Post
    And then the reverse-reverse happens. And then the universe implodes and creates a gigantic black hole. The end.
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    Yes, I really quoted myself and put it in my signature. You can't honestly say you never thought something you said was so awesome you wanted to make it into a quote and put it in your signature, can you?

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    Okay, maybe you can.


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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    V x Julio Scoundrel

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    "Well, hello."

    Vaarsuvius looked up sharply, her attention straying from the last half inch of beer in her glass and focusing dimly on the human that had just sat down at the bar. "I do not believe I know you."

    He chuckled, and gave a mock bow. "Nor I you. What is a lovely... elf like you doing in these parts?" He gestured around the small tavern.

    "That is none of your concern." Vaarsuvius relied moodily, draining the last of the beer. "Bartender, I require a refilling of my beverage." The elf dug around in a robe pocket for a handful of coins, but the human go there first.

    "Let me buy that for you." He said, and his even and very white teeth bared in a dazzling smile as he placed a few coppers on the bar. Vaarsuvius observed him coldly.

    "I am quite capable of paying for my own drinks. Please leave me alone."

    “Ah, but a pretty-“ he paused, then took a gamble “…lady like yourself shouldn’t have to be alone.” He winked. “And that’s where I come in.”

    Vaarsuvius leant away from the man, a slight pinkish tinge creeping across her face. But her expression was pure ice. “I will repeat this once more, and only once more: leave me alone.”

    Julio Scoundrel sat back and watched the elf, seeming unconcerned by the rebuttal. The elf’s blush darkened a bit, and she hurriedly looked down, scowling into her drink. Julio merely smirked and tugged absent mindedly at his mustache.

    “You seem upset about something. Penny for your thoughts?”

    “I have already expressed my desire to be left alone. I do not wish to talk to you, human!” The elf stood up, meaning to storm out angrily, but the evenings drinking caught up with the elf and she stumbled, reaching out to grab the bar for support. Instead a firm hand caught her arm. She glared at the human, who simply stepped away and sat back down. The elf took a deep breath, trying to clear the alcohol-fuelled haze.

    “Please stay. I simply wish for someone to talk to, and you appeared to be the most intelligible companion available.”

    Warily, the elf sat back down, still frowning at the human. “That did not appear your intent when you first addressed me.”

    He gave a light laugh, a pleasant sound which made the elf’s ears twitch. He was rather good-looking, she had to admit. He was handsome with a youthful face, but there were the tell-tale signs of age creeping up too; the elf’s sharp eyes picked out a few lighter strands of hair against the black, noted the faint lines at the corners of his eyes. The facial hair was rather off-putting, but then that was just one more aspect of humans the elf had never understood.

    “Like what you see?”

    The elf jumped “No, I… if you are going to be like that I will leave.”

    “Apologies madam. It is simply a bad habit of mine to be so forward when talking to females.”

    “That is evident.” The elf muttered, reluctantly picking up the glass of beer and taking a sip.

    “So tell me, why is an elf such as yourself drinking in a back-street bar of a airship port?”

    “I believe you already asked me that.”

    “And I believe you didn’t answer.” He said, leaning forward on his elbows.

    The elf sighed. “I am here following rumors of a potential source of arcane knowledge. It is nothing that would interest your type.”

    “My ‘type’?”

    “Those who bluff their way through life on a high Charisma, rather than utilizing logic and knowledge to make decisions.” The elf snapped.

    “Hmm, that’s a pretty big accusation to make about someone you don’t know.” He tugged his mustache thoughtfully. “You think I’m, charismatic?”

    “You are well aware of the fact, and undoubtedly use it to your benefit.”

    He laughed. “Well, maybe I do. Although it doesn’t seem to be working for me recently.”

    “I know what you want, and you would be better served looking elsewhere. Go and talk to someone else. Maybe someone with a higher Charisma score.”

    Leaning further towards the elf, he rested a hand on his chin. “Why?”

    The elf leant forward too, eyes burning. “Because you are obviously not really attracted to me! You are simply amusing yourself at my expense!”

    The airship captain looked genuinely surprised. “I am not. You have already shown yourself to be intelligent and independent, both of which are traits I value highly. And besides, you belittle yourself; I do think you are pretty.”

    “I doubt it.”

    Without hesitation, the airship captain moved forward and kissed Vaarsuvius squarely on the lips. The elf’s eyes widened, but there was a moment’s pause before she pushed him away, breathing heavily.

    “Why did you do that?” The elf hissed, but the tone was more curious than angry.

    “You want me.”

    Vaarsuvius looked away irritably, the blush now reaching the tips of her ears. “Maybe. What of it?”

    Julio raised an eyebrow. “Why are you so opposed to the idea? We’re both adults capable of making our own decisions.”

    “And if I decided I did want to?”

    He slipped an arm around her waist and kissed her again, and this time she didn’t push him away but cautiously leant into the kiss.

    “I have a room rented at-“ He started, but she cut him off.

    “I do too. I would prefer to go there.”

    He inclined his head, mouth twitching into a smile. “On your terms then.”

    They kissed again, more deeply and more desperately, and then while they still had control of their actions they walked out of the bar hand in hand.



    *yawn* Tired. Going to bed now.

    I might look at this on the other side of the morning and decide I hate it, but that's the way things go.
    Last edited by Zanaril; 2009-12-04 at 01:55 PM.
    This post may contain sarcasm.
    DeviantArt

  18. - Top - End - #18
    Ettin in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by Zanaril View Post
    I might look at this on the other side of the morning and decide I hate it, but that's the way things go.
    I enjoyed it, if that means anything.
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by Zanaril View Post
    Just a little something I bought from a back-alley alchemist last time I was in Greysky City.
    Well, I know for a fact that Water Smurf's condition will only last a few more hours. *hides recently acquired bag of coins behind back*


    Hooray for the new thread!!!
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    (yes, that is possible)

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Woo, new thread!
    Quote Originally Posted by SilverClawShift View Post
    Wizard: Ug. God. Allright. What do you want us to do?
    Me: Burn for me.
    Wizard: ...what?
    Me: I activate the fire ability. "BURN FOR ME!!!!!!"
    Lycanthrope avatar by me!

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by The Dark Fiddler View Post
    That's thread 5, BatRobin. You're a bit ahead of the curve.

    Don't worry, you're not that far ahead. Only another 49 pages or so to go.
    Just making sure someone remembered. XD

    YEAAAAAHHHHHHH
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by Zanaril View Post
    V x Julio Scoundrel

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    "Well, hello."

    Vaarsuvius looked up sharply, her attention straying from the last half inch of beer in her glass and focusing dimly on the human that had just sat down at the bar. "I do not believe I know you."

    He chuckled, and gave a mock bow. "Nor I you. What is a lovely... elf like you doing in these parts?" He gestured around the small tavern.

    "That is none of your concern." Vaarsuvius relied moodily, draining the last of the beer. "Bartender, I require a refilling of my beverage." The elf dug around in a robe pocket for a handful of coins, but the human go there first.

    "Let me buy that for you." He said, and his even and very white teeth bared in dazzling smile as he placed a few coppers on the bar. Vaarsuvius observed him coldly.

    "I am quite capable of paying for my own drinks. Please leave me alone."

    “Ah, but a pretty-“ he paused, then took a gamble “…lady like yourself shouldn’t have to be alone.” He winked. “And that’s where I come in.”

    Vaarsuvius leant away from the man, a slight pinkish tinge creeping across her face. But her expression was pure ice. “I will repeat this once more, and only once more: leave me alone.”

    Julio Scoundrel simply sat back and watched the elf, seeming unconcerned by the rebuttal. The elf’s blush darkened a bit, and she hurriedly looked down, scowling into her drink. Julio merely smirked and tugged absent mindedly at his mustache.

    “You seem upset about something. Penny for your thoughts?”

    “I have already expressed my desire to be left alone. I do not wish to talk to you, human!” The elf stood up, meaning to storm out angrily, but the evenings drinking caught up with the elf and she stumbled, reaching out to grab the bar for support. Instead a firm hand caught her arm. She glared at the human, who simply stepped away and sat back down. The elf took a deep breath, trying to clear the alcohol-fuelled haze.

    “Please stay. I simply wish for someone to talk to, and you appeared to be the most intelligible companion available.”

    Warily, the elf sat back down, still frowning at the human. “That did not appear your intent when you first addressed me.”

    He gave a light laugh, a pleasant sound which made the elf’s ears twitch. He was rather good-looking, she had to admit. He was handsome with a youthful face, but there were the tell-tale signs of age creeping up too; the elf’s sharp eyes picked out a few lighter strands of hair against the black, noted the faint lines at the corners of his eyes. The facial hair was rather off-putting, but then that was just one more aspect of humans the elf had never understood.

    “Like what you see?”

    The elf jumped “No, I… if you are going to be like that I will leave.”

    “Apologies madam. It is simply a bad habit of mine to be so forward when talking to females.”

    “That is evident.” The elf muttered, reluctantly picking up the glass of beer and taking a sip.

    “So tell me, why is an elf such as yourself drinking in a back-street bar of a airship port?”

    “I believe you already asked me that.”

    “And I believe you didn’t answer.” He said, leaning forward on his elbows.

    The elf sighed. “I am here following rumors of a potential source of arcane knowledge. It is nothing that would interest your type.”

    “My ‘type’?”

    “Those who bluff their way through life on a high Charisma, rather than utilizing logic and knowledge to make decisions.” The elf snapped.

    “Hmm, that’s a pretty big accusation to make about someone you don’t know.” He tugged his mustache thoughtfully. “You think I’m, charismatic?”

    “You are well aware of the fact, and undoubtedly use it to your benefit.”

    He laughed. “Well, maybe I do. Although it doesn’t seem to be working for me recently.”

    “I know what you want, and you would be better served looking elsewhere. Go and talk to someone else. Maybe someone with a higher Charisma score.”

    Leaning further towards the elf, he rested a hand on his chin. “Why?”

    The elf leant forward too, eyes burning. “Because you are obviously not really attracted to me! You are simply amusing yourself at my expense!”

    The airship captain looked genuinely surprised. “I am not. You have already shown yourself to be intelligent and independent, both of which are traits I value highly. And besides, you belittle yourself; I do think you are pretty.”

    “I doubt it.”

    Without hesitation, the airship captain moved forward and kissed Vaarsuvius squarely on the lips. The elf’s eyes widened, but there was a moment’s pause before she pushed him away, breathing heavily. “Why did you do that?” The elf exclaimed, but the tone was more curious than angry.

    “You want me.”

    Vaarsuvius looked away irritably, the blush now reaching the tips of her ears. “Maybe. What of it?”

    Julio raised an eyebrow. “Why are you so opposed to the idea? We’re both adults capable of making our own decisions.”

    “And if I decided I did want to?”

    He slipped an arm around her waist and kissed her again, and this time she didn’t push him away but cautiously leant into the kiss.

    “I have a room rented at-“ He started, but she cut him off.

    “I do too. I would prefer to go there.”

    He inclined his head, mouth twitching into a smile. “On your terms then.”

    They kissed again, more deeply and more desperately, and then while they still had control of their actions they walked out of the bar hand in hand.



    *yawn* Tired. Going to bed now.

    I might look at this on the other side of the morning and decide I hate it, but that's the way things go.
    *douses brain in bleach*

    *and Pikachu Blood*

    Pikachu Blood is more effective.

    Ohcrud, double post. Sorry.
    Last edited by BatRobin; 2009-12-03 at 08:58 PM.
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by mizzim View Post
    tiasAl, and sounds good. *writes up fic*


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    "Wuhh? Wha' happened?" Water-smurf was just waking up, and she had a severe hangover. She noticed a green blob in the corner of her over-blurry vision. "Huhh? Who's ther? who're yu? U look fumiliur..." she trailed off. even in her state, she could recognize the purple hair and light green skin of one of her favorite characters. "Tiusal? Izzat you? I thoug tha you were mayd up."
    "Who are you?" Tiasal asked. "what are you doing her-" she was cut off as a potion popped out of the wall and promptly forced itself down her throat. A belt also popped out of the wall and clipped around her waist. there was a flash of light, and she changed genders. He looked at Water-smurf differently. "Would you like to make out?" He asked.
    "Sure."

    --------

    Nine months later, Water-smurf had gained a lot of weight. She didn't know why, but one morning, she woke up, and there was a strange, purple-haired, tusked, creature, with green-blue skin and a white hat, on her bed. She screamed.


    do you like it? I'll post it in the new thread too.
    *Loves how people continue to post in the old thread, even after the new thread is here*

    I don't think you portrayed Water-smurf accurately. Even under the effects of a love potion, I doubt she'd do that.

    Also, Tiasal probably wouldn't either, but who knows.

    Quote Originally Posted by BatRobin View Post
    Pikachu Blood is more effective.
    You could say it's....

    SUPER EFFECTIVE


    YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH
    Last edited by The Dark Fiddler; 2009-12-03 at 09:02 PM.
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by The Dark Fiddler View Post
    *Loves how people continue to post in the old thread, even after the new thread is here*

    I don't think you portrayed Water-smurf accurately. Even under the effects of a love potion, I doubt she'd do that.

    Also, Tiasal probably wouldn't either, but who knows.
    well, I wasn't quite sure how to portray either of them. Water-smurf was drunk, so I did my best with what I think that she would act like, but Tiasal? I was just going blindly.
    Politics is the most accurate word in the English language. "Poli" in Latin meaning "Many" and
    "tics" meaning "little insects"

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by The Dark Fiddler View Post
    You could say it's....

    SUPER EFFECTIVE


    YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH
    I wondered how fast someone would post this.

    And I'm immensely disappointed I wasn't able to do it first.

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    I'm stuck with my nale x Julia. anyone got any tips to kamehmeha this writer's block? I got most of it figured out, I need a plot device better then what I have...(julia seducing nale to go free...)

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by DarkElfGangsta View Post
    I'm stuck with my nale x Julia. anyone got any tips to kamehmeha this writer's block? I got most of it figured out, I need a plot device better then what I have...(julia seducing nale to go free...)
    Julia seducing Nale to go free, then when they're finished with their first torrid tangle, she goes back for seconds. With a whip.

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Wow. A new thread already. We're now offically ahead of the OOTS fanservice in the art-thread. Now all we need to do is beat the non-OOTS fanservice thread comibined and we are really in great shape!

    By the way, I think their needs to be a better organizing index system, Lira. Maybe put it in sections based on artists names and put them in spoilers like:

    A-F
    Spoiler
    Show
    You get the idea.


    G-L
    Spoiler
    Show
    And so on, and so forth


    M-R
    Spoiler
    Show
    Why can't I stop this?


    S-Z
    Spoiler
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    Help! I'm being forced to continue against my will! Oh wait... I'm at the end of the alphabet. *Whew*


    1-9
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    Oh You've *GOT* To Be Kidding Me!!!!!!

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Aah, I love the smell of a new thread in the morning. Smells like...victory.

    I loved the VxJulio story. Julio Scoundrél was, to me, really depicted as the kind of smarmy guy that he should be seen as.

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    At least I get in on the first page.

    But aww, nobody missed me /snif

    I draw pictures:


    (haven't been updated in a while and you can read the comic here)

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