Quotes That Sum Up The Characters

[The Pale King]

Here, give any quotes that sum up any character in the comic. Can be in-comic, or a real-world quote.

Xykon:
"I know he seems funny and charming, but believe me, when you see for yourself the depths to which he'll sink, you will never sleep well again."

Vaarsuvius:
"I... I Must Succeed"

[Mystic Muse]

:some guy: was that really necessary?

Necessary? no it was fun.

[Thanatosia]

Durkon:
Priest of Loki - Can you tell me anything about him that differentiates him from every other dwarf?

Elan
Lien - An epic level ranger couldn't track his thought process.

[Kumo]

"You're accepting as credible a theory that came out of Miko's mouth."

"I don't think there's any doubt that you're a good man... though sometimes you enjoy verbally lamastising your friends a little too much."

This one actually does three different characters but it occurs in four lines:

I can't help but notice your team spirit is inversely proportional to the number of your remaining limbs, sir.

He shoots, he scores!

This one's two parter:

Cute. Did you just grow a spine there, Redcloak?
Perhaps i got hit with a piece of yours when you exploded, sir.

[ScottishDragon]

Read my quote,it is soo belkar.

[Moff Chumley]

"Belkar, aka The Belkster, aka Death's Little Helper"

[Zevox]

Okay, before anyone else beats me to it:

: I AM A SEXY SHOELESS GOD OF WAR!

Edit:

[Cleric of Loki]: Can you tell me anything about him that differentiates him from every other Dwarf?
[Haley & Celia]: ...

Edit 2:

For Lord Shojo:
[Shojo]: Paranoia? I rule a city where I have to fake senility just to avoid being assassinated. I took Improved Paranoia like 5 levels ago.
and
Dude, you order paladins to clean the litter box. You're, like, my idol.

Zevox

[The Pale King]

I'll give a few non-comic ones.
Redcloak:
"The road to hell is paved with good intentions."

Vaarsuvius:
"The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man is he who listens to counsel."
- Proverbs, 12:15

[Brendan]

as the size of the explosion increases, the number of situations it is incapable of solving reaches. ... ... And that would be bad.

celia: I don't make the crazy laws, I just twist them to my purpose

What gate?

o-chul: say that when the time is right, you will use this information to tear that abomination apart, bone by bone.

"no one would do something so-"
"needlessly complicated?"
"oh, right."

"see? if you'd let me fire you out of a catapault when I wanted to, you wouldn't have had to deal with stuff like this."

[drengnikrafe]

Grr. Roy smash puny kobolds.

[magic9mushroom]

"Disintegrate."

At least pre-"character development".

[squidbreath]

Julia: I'm True Neutral. I go both ways.

[Asta Kask]

I'll give a few non-comic ones.
Redcloak:
"The road to hell is paved with good intentions."

Vaarsuvius:
"The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man is he who listens to counsel."
- Proverbs, 12:15

If it be aught toward the general good,
Set honour in one eye and death i' the other,
And I will look on both indifferently,
For let the gods so speed me as I love
The name of honour more than I fear death.

Seldom he smiles, and smiles in such a sort
As if he mock'd himself and scorn'd his spirit
That could be moved to smile at any thing.
Such men as he be never at heart's ease
Whiles they behold a greater than themselves,
And therefore are they very dangerous.

:Inkyrius:Is it excepted I should know no secrets
That appertain to you? Am I yourself
But, as it were, in sort or limitation,
To keep with you at meals, comfort your bed,
And talk to you sometimes? Dwell I but in the suburbs
Of your good pleasure? If it be no more,
Portia is Brutus' harlot, not his wife.

- William Shakespeare

Perhaps you can guess my favorite play?

:O-Chuul:
(from Freddy vs. Jason:
Freddy Krueger: [to Jason] Why won't you DIE?

[martinkou]

The magic I wield is capable of rending asunder the universe - nay, the whole of the multiverse, and in fact is wasted on such pitiful creatures as yourself. But I shall bring it to bear nonetheless, and you shall rue the day I chose to wreak such unimaginable havoc on your lives with the sheer power of my arcane works. And lo, in days and years to come, when the children come to play in the smoking crater that one held your den of evil, they shall know nothing of your wicked ??? but all shall feel the echoes of the ??? today. And they shall ??? whence did this ??? one correct answer ???


.. and I guess you didn't read it.

See? Really high will save DC, and works through the 4th wall too. Better than Meteor Swarm.

[The_Weirdo]

:Inkyrius:Is it excepted I should know no secrets
That appertain to you? Am I yourself
But, as it were, in sort or limitation,
To keep with you at meals, comfort your bed,
And talk to you sometimes? Dwell I but in the suburbs
Of your good pleasure? If it be no more,
Portia is Brutus' harlot, not his wife.

- William Shakespeare

The Inkyrius quote is PERFECT.

[The Pale King]

"Fanaticism consists in redoubling your effort when you have forgotten your aim."
- George Santayana

[newcresty]

: I'VE GOT A 4!

[The_Weirdo]

On Julio Scoundrel: "I am a Pirate King, and it is, it is a glorious thing to be a pirate king!" - Pirates of Penzance.

On Girard: "Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean someone ISN'T out to get you."

[Optimystik]

: "SLASH! SLASH! SLASH!"

[Haven]

"Stupid dwarven cleric knowing me too well for my own good."

[Lord of Rapture]

(pre-character development) Hiding is my best skill.

[Asta Kask]

The Inkyrius quote is PERFECT.

Thank you. For me it's one of the most touching moments in the play. The first time I saw it I nearly cried (and I don't cry easily).

[Asta Kask]

Elan and Julio Scoundrel:

[fencing]
Inigo Montoya: You are wonderful.
Man in Black: Thank you; I've worked hard to become so.
Inigo Montoya: I admit it, you are better than I am.
Man in Black: Then why are you smiling?
Inigo Montoya: Because I know something you don't know.
Man in Black: And what is that?
Inigo Montoya: I... am not left-handed.
[Moves his sword to his right hand and gains an advantage]
Man in Black: You are amazing.
Inigo Montoya: I ought to be, after 20 years.
Man in Black: Oh, there's something I ought to tell you.
Inigo Montoya: Tell me.
Man in Black: I'm not left-handed either.
[Moves his sword to his right hand and regains his advantage]


Vizzini: I can't compete with you physically, and you're no match for my brains.
Man in Black: You're that smart?
Vizzini: Let me put it this way. Have you ever heard of Plato, Aristotle, Socrates?
Man in Black: Yes.
Vizzini: Morons.

[TheBlackShadow]

As this thread continues, it becomes clear that many characters have multiple quotes that could be used, so here I go trying to catalogue the most prominent ones. Expect this post to be edited regularly as I look back through the comic. Also, keep in mind that I will be using quotes solely from the comic itself, though at some point I might make another for non-OOTS quotes.



Possible quotes: "I AM A SEXY, SHOELESS, GOD OF WAR!!"

"Its as true today as when I first started adventuring - when in doubt, set something on fire."

"Surrender? Heh, how do they make these things up? Run, run, my little chunks of EXP!"

"Belkar, aka, the Belkster, Death's li'l helper".


Possible quotes: "Now if you don't mind, I'm rather busy telling the laws of the universe to shut up and sit down".

"I file physics texts under "Fiction" in my personal library".

[I prepared Explosive Runes this morning]

"I... I must succeed".

"As the size of an explosion increases, the number of problems it is incapable of solving rapidly approaches zero." [Noticeable pause] "And that would be wrong."


Possible quotes: "I'm participating!"

"WOOOOOO!! I'M INVISIBLE!!"

"All hail Lord Banjo!"


Possible quotes: "SMITE EVIL!!"

"HALT, EVILDOER!!"

(Please note that this is a work in progress and will be updated over time).

[Alignment]

For and :

(to ): "Belkar is a horrible, loathsome, supremely selfish creature who behaves contemptibly, laughs at the pain of others, has no manners whatsoever, and whose mental acuity would be compared unfavorably to that of a table. And yet I find I still prefer him to you."

#285

[Gift Jeraff]

, Start of Darkness:

Spoiler

Show

Right-eye: The real problem is the structural damage they do.
Redcloak: Yeah, they really rip up the walls. Especially the fourth wall.

[Jetty]

Evil has no place in him;
Lawful little too.
And he has a brother:
Nale.

Hope you enjoyed my acrostic poem.

[unknownmercury]

Lord Shojo: "Age and treachery best youth and skill."

"I chose to be a fighter/rogue/wizard who specialized in illusions."
"And that never seemed needlessly complicated to you?"
"... Not until just now."

"I had sex ten times while I was away."
"You.. You were gone three hours."
"Yeah, I also had errands to run."

(I paraphrased on some of these)

[Kish]

Lord Shinjo (I think that's who it was):

There has never been a character in the comic named Shinjo.

[unknownmercury]

The mistake was made from me combining Shojo and Hinjo. I've fixed it.