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  1. - Top - End - #31
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    ClericGuy

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by Silverraptor View Post
    Wow. A new thread already. We're now offically ahead of the OOTS fanservice in the art-thread. Now all we need to do is beat the non-OOTS fanservice thread comibined and we are really in great shape!
    Hooray!!! *hold up cider glass* Cheers!

    Quote Originally Posted by Silverraptor View Post
    A-F
    Spoiler
    Show
    You get the idea.


    G-L
    Spoiler
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    And so on, and so forth


    M-R
    Spoiler
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    Why can't I stop this?


    S-Z
    Spoiler
    Show
    Help! I'm being forced to continue against my will! Oh wait... I'm at the end of the alphabet. *Whew*


    1-9
    Spoiler
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    Oh You've *GOT* To Be Kidding Me!!!!!!
    Umm...you forgot numbers 10 to 100 (in groups of ten)
    Your local Cleric.

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  2. - Top - End - #32
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    Zanaril's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by BatRobin View Post
    *douses brain in bleach*
    You really needed the brain bleach after that?

    Quote Originally Posted by Saeyan View Post
    But aww, nobody missed me /snif
    I missed you!

    Quote Originally Posted by Aaron View Post
    Umm...you forgot numbers 10 to 100 (in groups of ten)
    I'ts only the first digit that counts.

    Except when you're teasing Silverraptor...
    Last edited by Zanaril; 2009-12-04 at 01:22 PM.
    This post may contain sarcasm.
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  3. - Top - End - #33
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Damn! I had hoped to have my story finished by the time the new thread was up but my plot bunny has grown tentacles and taken to attacking ships (plot kraken?). It should be finished soon but then again I have to read it through and type it up and I know there will be bits I want to change so don't hold your breath.

    Nice story Zanaril, both were in character vocally but I don't see V as someone who would get drunk.
    Avatar by me...yup that's how good my drawing is. As in not very good.

    Crack-Pairings, Not Dead Just Moved. Someone Hasn't Been Looking In The Right Places.


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    Quote Originally Posted by Caleniel View Post
    Taekwondodo - your nick and your avatar are terrific. I want to award you something... how about enough melons to see you through the next ice age?

  4. - Top - End - #34
    Halfling in the Playground
     
    DruidGuy

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    I think I'll give this a try,
    So... Miko, Durkon and they are snowed in OK

    Spoiler
    Show
    Searching for Girard's gate Durkon began reminiscing on the past, specifically a night a year before meeting with Roy and starting the order of the stick...

    ------------------------------

    He had just been exiled from the dwarven lands and was travelling the mountains aimlessly when he saw a young woman fighting ten goblins, he ran to her aid with all the speed his short legs could muster.
    Together they easily bested them. They exchanged greetings, "I'm Durkon Thundershield cleric of the god Thor," Durkon said. "It is good to meet you Durkon Thundershield I am Miko Miyazaki, samurai of th-"
    A loud rumble in the distance cut her words short. The battle had started a huge avalanche that was surging down the mountain.
    "Run", Durkon said, they barely made it to an adjacent cave when the snow hit them.
    The cave had a small fire and some crude, sleeping pallets, Durkon thought it may have been the goblins den.
    "This will have to do until help reaches us. Hopefully that will not take too long"
    "Och tha may take weeks, 'f ever. t’mrow’ll start digging us out. I’m too tired now."
    "Very well I will assist you in the morning,"

    So they set about getting a meal prepared and devouring it, after that just sat staring into the fire, lost in their own.
    Miko suddenly spoke up," You where very heroic coming to my rescue, and also very dashing."
    "Wha, I'm sorry but I'm nah attracted to humans in tha way."
    Miko began to try to explain herself, tripping over words in her haste, cursing her low charisma at the same time. Durkon swiftly calmed her and they went to there separate pallets. There was silence in the cave until Durkon broke," Wha I jus' said may nah have been true."
    "I'm sorry what did you say?"
    Durkon answered her with a kiss.

    ----------------------------------

    The next day they set about cleaning away the snow, and that night they whispered sweet nothings into each other’s ear.

    The days passed like this, for eight days. The eight happiest days of both their lives and as they walked away from each other for what they believed to be the last time Miko wiped a single tear from her cheek.

    ---------------------------------

    Durkon shuck himself out of his reminiscing, muttering to himself how there was no sense wallowing in the past.


    What do people think?
    Last edited by Cire II; 2009-12-04 at 02:58 PM.

  5. - Top - End - #35
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by Cire II View Post
    I think I'll give this a try,
    So... Miko, Durkon and they are snowed in OK

    Spoiler
    Show
    Searching for Girard's gate Durkon began reminising on the past, specificaly a night a year before meating with Roy and starting the order of the stick...

    ------------------------------

    He had just been exiled from the dwarven lands and was traveleing the mountains aimlessley when he saw a young woman fighting ten goblins, he ran two her aid with all the speed his short legs could muster.
    Together they easily bested them. They exchanged greetings, "I'm Durkon Thundershield cleric of the god Thor," Durkon said. "I't is good to meet you Durkon Thundershield I am Miko Miyazaki, sammrai of th-"
    A loud rumble in the distance cut her words short. The battle had started a huge avalanche that was surging down the mountain.
    "Run", Durkon said, they barley made it to an adjacent cave when the snow hit them.
    The cave had a small fire and some crude, sleeping palletes, Durkon thought it may have been the goblins den.
    "This will have to do until help reaches us.Hopefully that will not take too long"
    "Och tha may take weeks, 'f ever. t'mrow 'll start digging us out.I'm too tired now."
    "Very well I will assist you in the morning,"

    So they set about getting a meal prepared and devouring it, after that just sat stareing into the fire, lost in there own.
    Miko suddenley spoke up," You where very heroic comeing to my rescue, and also very dashing."
    "Wha, I'm sorry but I'm nah atracted to humans in tha way."
    Miko began to try to explain herself, tripping over words in her haste, curseing her low charisma at the same time. Durkon swiftly calmed her and they whent to there seperate palletes. There was silence in the cave until Durkon broke," Wha I jus' said may nah have been true."
    "I'm sorry what did you say?"
    Durkon awnserd her with a kiss.

    ----------------------------------

    The next day they set about cleaning away the snow, and that nigt they whisperd sweet nothings into each others ear.

    The days passed like this, for eight days. The eight happiest days of both there lives and as they walked away from each other for what they belived to be the last time Miko wiped a single tear from her cheek.

    ---------------------------------

    Durkon shuck himself out of his remminisings, mutering to himself how there was no sense wallowing in the past.


    What do people think?
    It was OK but a spell checking program will probably serve you well in any future writing projects.
    Avatar by me...yup that's how good my drawing is. As in not very good.

    Crack-Pairings, Not Dead Just Moved. Someone Hasn't Been Looking In The Right Places.


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    Quote Originally Posted by Caleniel View Post
    Taekwondodo - your nick and your avatar are terrific. I want to award you something... how about enough melons to see you through the next ice age?

  6. - Top - End - #36
    Halfling in the Playground
     
    DruidGuy

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by Taekwondodo View Post
    It was OK but a spell checking program will probably serve you well in any future writing projects.
    Yeh I didn't realy look over it and just made it up as I whent along. I will probably go over it again and fix any mistakes.I have fixed them.
    Last edited by Cire II; 2009-12-04 at 02:59 PM.

  7. - Top - End - #37
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Taekwondodo's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Actually, now I'm not distracted by bad spelling () it's really very good! Quite sweet.
    Last edited by Taekwondodo; 2009-12-04 at 03:22 PM.
    Avatar by me...yup that's how good my drawing is. As in not very good.

    Crack-Pairings, Not Dead Just Moved. Someone Hasn't Been Looking In The Right Places.


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    Quote Originally Posted by Caleniel View Post
    Taekwondodo - your nick and your avatar are terrific. I want to award you something... how about enough melons to see you through the next ice age?

  8. - Top - End - #38
    Halfling in the Playground
     
    DruidGuy

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Thank you that means a lot, realy.
    Last edited by Cire II; 2009-12-04 at 03:25 PM.

  9. - Top - End - #39
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    ClericGuy

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by Zanaril View Post
    I'ts only the first digit that counts.

    Except when you're teasing Silverraptor...
    Hmm,in that case... numbers 10 to 1000 (also, in groups of ten)


    Quote Originally Posted by Cire II View Post
    I think I'll give this a try,
    So... Miko, Durkon and they are snowed in OK

    Spoiler
    Show
    Searching for Girard's gate Durkon began reminiscing on the past, specifically a night a year before meeting with Roy and starting the order of the stick...

    ------------------------------

    He had just been exiled from the dwarven lands and was travelling the mountains aimlessly when he saw a young woman fighting ten goblins, he ran to her aid with all the speed his short legs could muster.
    Together they easily bested them. They exchanged greetings, "I'm Durkon Thundershield cleric of the god Thor," Durkon said. "It is good to meet you Durkon Thundershield I am Miko Miyazaki, samurai of th-"
    A loud rumble in the distance cut her words short. The battle had started a huge avalanche that was surging down the mountain.
    "Run", Durkon said, they barely made it to an adjacent cave when the snow hit them.
    The cave had a small fire and some crude, sleeping pallets, Durkon thought it may have been the goblins den.
    "This will have to do until help reaches us. Hopefully that will not take too long"
    "Och tha may take weeks, 'f ever. t’mrow’ll start digging us out. I’m too tired now."
    "Very well I will assist you in the morning,"

    So they set about getting a meal prepared and devouring it, after that just sat staring into the fire, lost in their own.
    Miko suddenly spoke up," You where very heroic coming to my rescue, and also very dashing."
    "Wha, I'm sorry but I'm nah attracted to humans in tha way."
    Miko began to try to explain herself, tripping over words in her haste, cursing her low charisma at the same time. Durkon swiftly calmed her and they went to there separate pallets. There was silence in the cave until Durkon broke," Wha I jus' said may nah have been true."
    "I'm sorry what did you say?"
    Durkon answered her with a kiss.

    ----------------------------------

    The next day they set about cleaning away the snow, and that night they whispered sweet nothings into each other’s ear.

    The days passed like this, for eight days. The eight happiest days of both their lives and as they walked away from each other for what they believed to be the last time Miko wiped a single tear from her cheek.

    ---------------------------------

    Durkon shuck himself out of his reminiscing, muttering to himself how there was no sense wallowing in the past.


    What do people think?
    It's great. Too bad they would forget about it.
    Your local Cleric.

    Cleric of the Murphy's Law Thread
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  10. - Top - End - #40
    Halfling in the Playground
     
    DruidGuy

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Maybe I could add some more of Durkons "memories", later.

  11. - Top - End - #41
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by Taekwondodo View Post
    Nice story Zanaril, both were in character vocally but I don't see V as someone who would get drunk.
    Not drunk. Marginally intoxicated as to impair motor function.
    This post may contain sarcasm.
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  12. - Top - End - #42
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    HalflingRangerGuy

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    WOOT! New thread!



    Spoiler
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    Bottle of Brain Bleach 10 GP

    Bottle of P. Blood 25 GP

    Love Potion 100 GP

    Making a pairing with Watersmurf Priceless
    Last edited by ClericOfBelker; 2009-12-04 at 06:33 PM.
    High Priest of

  13. - Top - End - #43
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by Aaron View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Zanaril View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Aaron View Post
    Umm...you forgot numbers 10 to 100 (in groups of ten)
    I'ts only the first digit that counts.

    Except when you're teasing Silverraptor...
    Hmm,in that case... numbers 10 to 1000 (also, in groups of ten)
    ...
    ...
    ...
    ...
    ..Both of you, start running.

    *Pulls out blood-soaked knives*
    My own webcomic. Idiosyncrasy.
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  14. - Top - End - #44
    Dwarf in the Playground
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by Silverraptor View Post
    ...
    ...
    ...
    ...
    ..Both of you, start running.

    *Pulls out blood-soaked knives*
    See, what most intrigues me about this is that the knives were already blood-soaked.

    Just what have you been doing?

  15. - Top - End - #45
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    ClericGuy

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by Silverraptor View Post
    ...
    ...
    ...
    ...
    ..Both of you, start running.

    *Pulls out blood-soaked knives*
    *Starts running and casts Freedom of Movement*

    Quote Originally Posted by Kyronea View Post
    See, what most intrigues me about this is that the knives were already blood-soaked.

    Just what have you been doing?
    ...*skids to a short stop* wait...what?! *casts air walk, and air runs away*
    Your local Cleric.

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  16. - Top - End - #46
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    almost done! but i want to have thog come in right at the end and do something silly, like barging in dressed as cloud and singing grace Kelly. is that allowed under the crack pairings thread?

    ...wait, what's going on here?
    *looks around, sees the drooling screaming madman chasing people*

    Oh! hey Belkar! thought you'd be shorter!
    Last edited by DarkElfGangsta; 2009-12-04 at 11:46 PM.

  17. - Top - End - #47
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by DarkElfGangsta View Post
    almost done! but i want to have thog come in right at the end and do something silly, like barging in dressed as cloud and singing grace Kelly. is that allowed under the crack pairings thread?

    ...wait, what's going on here?
    *looks around, sees the drooling screaming madman chasing people*

    Oh! hey Belkar! thought you'd be shorter!
    Since we aren't allowed to end it with explicit sex, comedy is basically the only option IMHO. At the least, it isn't forbidden.

    If you're worried about having several characters, don't be. I'm personally surprised we haven't seen The Snarl/Everyone yet.
    [/sarcasm]
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  18. - Top - End - #48
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by Sstoopidtallkid View Post
    I'm personally surprised we haven't seen The Snarl/Everyone yet.
    I actually took a stab at this one, but then I realized I was just ripping off Futurama's "The Beast with a Billion Backs". Like, line by line. I even called Elan "Fry" a couple times.

  19. - Top - End - #49
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Hey Fiddler, if your still planning on running a competition, I've got an idea: Christmas themed pairing stories!

    Misletoe! Snow! Ice-skating! Unwanted anonymous presents!


    Quote Originally Posted by Sstoopidtallkid View Post
    Since we aren't allowed to end it with explicit sex, comedy is basically the only option IMHO.
    Or squicking people out.

    Or both at the same time.

    That said, you can get a lot done with PG-13...


    From the character equations thread:
    Quote Originally Posted by Poil View Post
    So now we're just waiting for V to show up in Roy's room with an interesting proposal on how to survive the final clash with Xykon?
    These people do know about this thread, right?
    Last edited by Zanaril; 2009-12-05 at 06:46 AM.
    This post may contain sarcasm.
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  20. - Top - End - #50
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    New thread. Hi all.

    Suppose I better start writing again...

    Define explicate. No really. Quoting that piece of literature, My immortal:
    No. L can't. Amway, despite gratuitous sex, I would not call that explicate. In any way. While I know authors who only need to hint.

    I mean, I can easily do R-rated stuff by hinting and letting your minds fill in the rest.
    Last edited by Cracklord; 2009-12-05 at 06:46 AM.
    Nadir We,
    Youth Born,
    Blood Letters,
    Axe Weilders,
    Victors Still.

  21. - Top - End - #51
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by Cracklord View Post
    New thread. Hi all.

    Suppose I better start writing again...
    Welcome back!

    Would you like something to drink?
    This post may contain sarcasm.
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  22. - Top - End - #52
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    A shot of The tears of children who have lost their innocence, on the rocks, with a slice of lemon.
    Bu nothing stronger. I'm off the heavy stuff.
    Don't want to lose my girlish build.
    Last edited by Cracklord; 2009-12-05 at 06:57 AM.
    Nadir We,
    Youth Born,
    Blood Letters,
    Axe Weilders,
    Victors Still.

  23. - Top - End - #53
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by Cracklord View Post
    The tears of children who have lost their innocence.
    Straight up or on the rocks?
    This post may contain sarcasm.
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  24. - Top - End - #54
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    I just edited...
    On the rocks.

    Anyway, expect my contribution up tomorrow. I get to kill Belkar again!
    Then, V as a champion of Slaanesh forcing Kyrie to come back to him/her.
    Then (unfortunately) I'll need a new plot bunny. Perhaps O-Chul x Freya.

    Hey, who won the squickies?
    Last edited by Cracklord; 2009-12-05 at 07:06 AM.
    Nadir We,
    Youth Born,
    Blood Letters,
    Axe Weilders,
    Victors Still.

  25. - Top - End - #55

    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by Zanaril View Post
    Hey Fiddler, if your still planning on running a competition, I've got an idea: Christmas themed pairing stories!

    Misletoe! Snow! Ice-skating! Unwanted anonymous presents!
    Not quite what I had in mind, but that could very easily work.

    It's too early for me to remember, did anybody volunteer to make the art prize(s) yet?
    It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.

    If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).

    The best answer is always to ask your DM.
    Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.

  26. - Top - End - #56
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by Cracklord View Post
    I just edited...
    On the rocks.

    Then (unfortunately) I'll need a new plot bunny. Perhaps O-Chul x Freya.
    *hands Cracklord a glass full of ice and tears. There is a slice of lemon floating in it, and a curl of lemon rind adorns the side of the glass* *Zanaril keeps the now half-empty vial of love potion carefully out of sight*

    <insert O-Chuck joke about fertility>
    This post may contain sarcasm.
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  27. - Top - End - #57
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by Cracklord View Post
    Define explicate. No really. Quoting that piece of literature, My immortal:
    No. L can't. Amway, despite gratuitous sex, I would not call that explicate. In any way. While I know authors who only need to hint.

    I mean, I can easily do R-rated stuff by hinting and letting your minds fill in the rest.
    I'd like a definition of 'explicit' as well (and yes, I realize that it's a joke). I just wrote something and I'm trying to figure out if it's R or PG-13.

    Is it okay if we do explicit tail/wing stroking for succubi and ear stroking for elves? But everyone keeps their clothes on?
    Last edited by Water-Smurf; 2009-12-05 at 10:11 AM.

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    The April Squickies Award for Best Crack Pairing Story


    Thank you so much to Kaytara for the avatar! It's of Redcloak's and Vaarsuvius's love child.

  28. - Top - End - #58
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by Zanaril View Post
    *Zanaril keeps the now half-empty vial of love potion carefully out of sight*
    *Waits while Cracklord chugs the tears*
    *Saps Cracklord*

    Spoiler
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    "What whrere am I?" groaned Cracklord "What are you doing here Zan- Mnph!"
    Zanrill had cut him off with a kiss.


    5 Min. Earlier_____________________________

    "We'll never do it You twisted fiends!" Shouted a tied-up Vaarsuvius
    "Speak for your self ears! Is she hot?" Said Belkar
    "IT'LL NEVER WORK! The 12 Gods protect me from your evil spells!" Said Miko
    "SILENCE!" Yelled Zanrill before going behind a glass panel "RELEASE THE LOVE GAS!"

    As pink gas filled the room, Watersmurf opened a door and walked up to Zanrill, still under the afects of the champange.
    "Boy is it hot in here..." she moaned "Ooo! A window!"
    "DON'T!!!" Zanrill shouted as Watersmurf opened the glass
    "NOW YOU'VE DONE IT!"

    "The Love Gas is relesed, sir" said Random Hobgoblin No. 13459
    "Good!" Said Dark Fiddiler "Let them at Cracklord!"



    Whoops! Sorry Zanarill! ssssssssss...
    *sniffs* Do you smell something?
    Last edited by ClericOfBelker; 2009-12-05 at 10:52 AM.
    High Priest of

  29. - Top - End - #59
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Lira's Avatar

    Join Date
    May 2007

    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by Water-Smurf View Post
    Is it okay if we do explicit tail/wing stroking for succubi and ear stroking for elves? But everyone keeps their clothes on?
    That sounds fine to me.
    Credits to half-halfling for my adorable avatar.

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  30. - Top - End - #60

    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by Zanaril View Post
    Spoiler
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    *Zanaril keeps the now half-empty vial of love potion carefully out of sight*
    Spoiler
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    You get four doses per vial?
    It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.

    If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).

    The best answer is always to ask your DM.
    Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.

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