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  1. - Top - End - #61
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Water-Smurf's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    I present to you, V/RC. This chapter doesn't advance the plot too much, but I think that something of significance happens. (Try to point it out if you can. )

    Hopefully, I didn't break any rules with this.

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    “We can’t keep this up in this weather.”

    Vaarsuvius simply stopped walking, trying to hide the violent shivers running up and down the small elven body. The snow was rapidly gathering on the street, and they had almost slipped and fallen on the ice several times. The white fluff from the sky already had gotten to the point where it nearly reached the travelers’ knees, and it showed no sign of stopping. “Where do you suggest we settle, then?”

    “One of the houses. At least they will keep the snow out over the night.”

    Vaarsuvius didn’t protest. Redcloak noted with worry that the tips of the elf’s fingers had taken a bluish color, but he didn’t comment. His cheek still stung where Vaarsuvius had struck it, and he doubted that the elf would react any better to his concern just then.

    They both trekked to one of the closer homes, having to struggle a little to get the door open and walk inside.

    Redcloak forced the door closed, glancing around the hut. The first thing he noticed was that there was one bed for two with a thick blanket. (Well, he was fine with that—it’s not like they hadn’t slept together before.) There was a pile of wood under a window and a hole in the ceiling, probably meant for smoke from fires, was designed with a little elevated cap on it to protect from snow.

    That was odd. Deserts weren’t supposed to get snow, so why would the homes be built to handle it?

    “Did you prepare any fire spells today?” Redcloak asked, going over to the pile of wood and setting logs up in the middle of the dirt floor.

    “Of course.”

    Redcloak backed away and Vaarsuvius sent a fireball at the wood, immediately starting the flame. The goblin reflexively jumped a little away from the fire, quickly making sure that it wouldn’t catch on the house. “Don’t get too close right now. You don’t want to warm up too fast.”

    The elf didn’t comment when the goblin took delicate hands between his own, slowly warming them to avoid tissue damage. The fire cracked gently but did little to heat up the room. The warmth kept flowing out the windows.

    The silence made Redcloak very uncomfortable, but he still wasn’t quite ready to reach out again. He and Vaarsuvius had become dangerously intimate in the last few days, and the elf was right to try to push him away. They wouldn’t be able to fight each other if this kept up.

    “We’ll be okay. I promise.”

    He had been so stupid to say that, but he couldn’t bring himself to regret it. It was, quite frankly, a promise he couldn’t keep. They wouldn’t be okay. One or both of them was going to come out of this whole thing dead or worse.

    Vaarsuvius was doing the smart thing by trying to drive a wedge between them. It hurt, and he worried about both of their abilities to cope with the monstrous dungeon if they didn’t allow each other close, but he knew that Vaarsuvius was right.

    He slipped his hands away from the elf’s. “It should be okay to be close to the fire, now.”

    They both silently sat near the fire, the uncomfortable silence stretching.

    Vaarsuvius suddenly stiffened, ears twitching. Redcloak glanced at his lover in confusion. “Vaarsuvius?”

    “…I seem to have detected some strange sounds outside.”

    The goblin stood up immediately, walking to the window and glancing out at the wintry landscape.

    He tensed, stifling a growl in his throat and doing his best to hide any signs of distress.

    “Redcloak?”

    That was when he realized that he couldn’t hide anything from Vaarsuvius.

    Blood spatters stained the white ground. That alone wouldn’t bother him—it was a cheap visual trick. What bothered him was the fact that four people were sitting in the snow, one of them holding his own decapitated head in his hands. He knew those people.

    They were the soldiers he had gotten a brief glance of when he first found Vaarsuvius in the throws of a vision.

    A sharp intake of air next to him alerted him to the fact that his lover had stood up and looked out the window to see what was wrong.

    Redcloak spun around and stepped so that his body covered the window, taking Vaarsuvius’s arm gently. “Go back to the fire. We should have something to eat.”

    “I… they…”

    “Vaarsuvius, it’s just an illusion. It can’t hurt you if you don’t let it.” He gently yet firmly tugged the elf to the fire again. “Sit down—we should have some food in our packs.”

    The elf paused, then numbly nodded, passively allowing the goblin to lead the way back to the fire.

    Redcloak did his best to not wonder about the significance of the soldiers. He had just resolved a mere moment before to push Vaarsuvius away, and he knew well enough how private the elf was. It was a small miracle that his lover had been able to mention the trauma of finding someone hanging themselves, even after all they had been through. After everything that they both had suffered, the last thing he wanted was to make Vaarsuvius feel more afraid and insecure about him.

    He opened up their packs and pulled out an apple, giving it to the elf. “There isn’t much to eat left, but I think I can make something a little more substantial. I’ll cover up the windows first—all the warm air is leaking out.”

    Vaarsuvius nodded in thanks, understanding the favor the goblin was doing, eyes fixed on something in the fire that Redcloak could not see, and bit into the apple. The goblin stood up, pulling their blankets from their packs and using them to cover the windows. It wasn’t like they would need them that night. The bed they had stumbled on had a perfectly suitable one.

    Redcloak used what little they had to cook for both of them. He had to coax Vaarsuvius to finish it off, noting with worry that his lover looked even more ashen than usual. The fact that the elf was sick niggled at him, and he had the sense that he would know what was wrong if he only looked closer at the symptoms. Dizzy spells, abdomable pain, unusual sensitivity in the breasts (he had noticed that easily)…

    “Redcloak, what happens if they attack us?”

    He was pulled out of his train of thought and looked at the elf curiously.

    “Of course we both have spells, but they are creatures made from the very world around us. We cannot run through the snow and hope to escape, and if we vanquish them, more will come.”

    “I don’t think they’re there to attack us.” Redcloak pushed his empty plate to the side, leaning forward a little and adding some wood to the fire. “They’re there to make us afraid. That’s what this place depends on. Fear, pain, and desire. Admittedly, it seems to be focusing mostly on pain and fear for us, but there’s probably a reason for that.”

    The elf nodded silently, staring at the flames.

    “Vaarsuvius, why are they haunting you?”

    Redcloak knew that he shouldn’t ask. Vaarsuvius knew it too.

    The elf looked up at him, expression difficult to read.

    “I know that they’re what you have nightmares about. I know that their… I don’t know, presence has been following us since the start. I know that they mean something.” He tentatively reached out, brushing a strand of hair back from Vaarsuvius’s face and behind a pointy ear. “Why?”

    There was a long silence.

    “Redcloak, I do not wish to speak of this.”

    He shouldn’t push his luck. He really shouldn’t.

    The goblin lightly stroked the elf’s cheek, frowning. “Vaarsuvius, this has been plaguing you since before we met.” He hesitated briefly. “I don’t like seeing you tormented like this.”

    Vaarsuvius shook a small head. “There is nothing you can do to help, Redcloak.”

    “How do I know unless you tell me?”

    The elf was very, very quiet for a while. Redcloak wondered for a moment if he had offended his lover, but if he had, he would have been slapped for his troubles. “During the battle…” Vaarsuvius paused, closing violet eyes and taking a deep breath. Redcloak had to stifle a small jerk of surprise—he hadn’t expected his lover to open up. Then again, maybe that was what was needed. “During the battle at Azure City, I ran out of spells. I did not see anything else I could do to assist. I fled.” The elf undid the purple ponytail slowly, letting the long wild hair hang loosely. Redcloak listened carefully, fully aware of the likelihood that he was the only one that Vaarsuvius had trusted with this information. “I was invisible. A group of soldiers crashed into me and correctly assumed that I was the elven wizard that had been assisting in the battle.”

    The elf stopped dead, lips pursed until they were white. Redcloak tentatively touched Vaarsuvius’s hand, doubtful that the contact would be appreciated. Vaarsuvius grasped the offered hand tightly.

    “They begged me to save them. I could not. They were slaughtered.”

    Vaarsuvius was completely silent for a moment, face grim, muscles stiff. Redcloak wasn’t quite sure how to deal with it, so he settled with squeezing the small hand in his gasp and nuzzling the slender neck gently.

    “For all my power, I could not save them.”

    Redcloak politely pretended to not notice the suspicious glassiness in the elf’s eyes. Vaarsuvius shook a pale head, regaining the aloof and unconcerned mask that had been cracking more and more since they entered the dungeon.

    “But, of course, logically, I did what I should have. I can only take the experience as a lesson. I will not make such mistakes again. It is rather pointless that you insisted on me talking about it at all—it is in the past.”

    The goblin didn’t point out the tremors going up and down the elf’s body. He didn’t point out the barely contained wetness in violet eyes. He didn’t point out how fragile the tiny creature suddenly seemed, how it looked like, with all the demons the dungeon had forced upon the fiery mage, the seams were coming undone.

    He simply slipped his arm around the elf’s waist, murmuring something softly in Goblin and nuzzling a slender neck.

    Vaarsuvius leaned into his touches, satisfied with not having to show how deeply the deaths of the soldiers had imprinted themselves on the elf. Their fingers stayed intertwined. They leaned towards each other, touching lips tenderly before resting their foreheads against one another.

    “No matter how many reasons are presented to us, we continue to nurse our relationship. Why is that, Redcloak?” Vaarsuvius murmured softly, voice weighed down by despair and pain that the mage would never admit to. It felt like something heavy was just taken off the thin shoulders, but all that was left was a very tired elf.

    “We work out well together.” A slightly subdued smile flickered over Redcloak’s lips. “If it hadn’t been for the alignment and species differences, I think we could have been really happy with each other.”

    “I believe so as well.” Vaarsuvius lightly fingered Redcloak’s cheek. “I would have been willing to work past both obstacles under different circumstances.”

    “Under different circumstances.” Redcloak smiled, eyes dim. “But it’s pointless to speculate about different circumstances. These are the ones we have.”

    “Indeed they are.”

    They looked at the fire, leaning against each other, the goblin subtly trying to think of a way to ease his partner’s distress and the nightmares that would obviously descend that night. Redcloak reached up absently, running his fingers through the elf’s loose hair. His nails lightly brushed against pointy ears, sending tangible tremors through his lover’s body.

    Vaarsuvius let out a low warble, turning a small head to kiss Redcloak softly. The goblin easily moved so that they were in a more comfortable position and started stroking the ears firmly.

    The elf let out a soft gasp, crawling closer to the goblin, tilting a pale head and exposing a slender neck, showing off the trust they had unwisely built between each other. Redcloak’s teeth were sharp and strong enough to rip the elf’s exposed throat open before so much as a scream could be uttered.

    With a satisfied growl deep in his chest, Redcloak leaned forward, nuzzling and kissing his lover’s neck while continuing to massage the pointed ears. Vaarsuvius let out another warble, pawing at their clothes.

    Redcloak had no intention of taking anything off. Vaarsuvius wasn’t in the right state of mind to consent, and the goblin would feel too much like he was taking advantage of his lover, regardless of what the elf did or didn’t want. He made no movement to encourage Vaarsuvius, instead continuing to kiss a slender neck and stroke the pointed ears. His lover’s face flushed and the tiny body started to tremble, delicate arms slipping around the goblin’s neck. “Redcloak…”

    The goblin kissed the elf gently, letting out a gentle purr, and continued his ministrations. Vaarsuvius breathed heavily, body heating up, odd sounds that the mage would normally never utter falling from slightly swollen lips.

    It was only a small while of ear stroking until the elf stiffened against the goblin, letting out a soft cry before burying a flushed face in a green neck, gasping a long stream of breathless Elven, and going limp after a moment of intensity.

    Vaarsuvius breathed heavily, chest heaving, and violet eyes were glazed over with afterglow. Redcloak gently picked his lover up, carrying the tiny and compliant body to the bed, wrapping the little elf in the covers.

    The mage shifted, looking up at the goblin, unable to muster up the strength to be peeved when the elf realized what the cleric’s intentions had been. “Manipulative beast.”

    “I didn’t want you to have any nightmares. I just made sure that your brain let out all the chemicals it needed to be happy for now.” Redcloak smiled amusedly, unclasping his cloak. “And at least one of us needs our strength in case we’re attacked in the middle of the night, so I figured that we should hold off on using up energy with sex.”

    He pulled off his armor, carefully putting it next to the bed and climbing under the covers, wrapping his arms around his lover’s waist and pressing up against a small back. Redcloak lovingly brushed his lips against the elf’s temple, provoking a satisfied ‘mmm.’

    “Next time you attempt a trick like this, I shall be forced to use my not-inconsiderable arcane might against you.”

    “I’m sure you will be.” Redcloak rested his head on a pillow, smiling and lightly stroking his lover’s abdomen. He murmured a few words softly in Goblin, nuzzling the elf’s hair and sighing in contentment. “I love you.”

    “What does that mean, Redcloak? You know that I do not understand Goblin.”

    Redcloak kissed Vaarsuvius’s neck gently. “It was an affectionate way of saying goodnight.”

    “Oh.” Vaarsuvius lightly fingered the goblin’s hand. “Good night, Redcloak.” A smile flickered over the elf’s lips. “I would use a more affectionate term, but Common does not provide one and Elven has no words that would fit.”

    “That’s alright.” The goblin smiled wistfully, tightening his grip only a little. “Good night.”

    Vaarsuvius smiled faintly and slipped into a satisfied trance, still bathing in afterglow. Redcloak fell asleep soon afterwards.


    Thoughts?

    (I've spent way too much time in English class. I'm actually trying to pull off literary techniques that no one picks up on unless they're a total English nerd reading a book they expect to find that stuff in.)

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    The April Squickies Award for Best Crack Pairing Story


    Thank you so much to Kaytara for the avatar! It's of Redcloak's and Vaarsuvius's love child.

  2. - Top - End - #62
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Zanaril's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Elves and their ears...

    Well, it's probably significant that V finally told someone about the soldiers, but also that she admitted it was the only logical thing she could have done.

    As for the literary techniques... I've never been very good at picking up on them.
    This post may contain sarcasm.
    DeviantArt

  3. - Top - End - #63
    Colossus in the Playground
     
    CoffeeIncluded's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Again, good one. Nice job with writing a scene like that as tastefully as possible.

    (Elven ears...*Laughs*)

    And is it that Reddy actually said "I love you"?
    Last edited by CoffeeIncluded; 2009-12-05 at 01:40 PM.

  4. - Top - End - #64
    Orc in the Playground
     
    Meg's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Hooray for a new chapter. Much to my English teacher's dismay, the only literary technique I remember is foreshadowing, which is hard to pick up on if you don't know what's going to happen. But there were a couple things that could be foreshadowing, so that's my guess.

    Also, did V almost tell him she's pregnant?

    ...And that is how I met your father.

  5. - Top - End - #65
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Taekwondodo's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Finally finished my story! Phew, longest yet...

    Disclaimer: I take no responsibility for the choice of characters. It was a random pairing voiced on this thread which would not let me go! So without further ado I give you:

    Edward x Tsukiko/Someone is a vampire (I crack myself up sometimes!)

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    A strange world. A world ruled by dice and magic. A world with dragons and elves and ogres. A world where green-skinned, tusked men under the thrall of a walking skeleton with evil radiating out of his every fleshless limb worked to control a portal that could unleash destruction into their world. A world with Bella in danger and Edward in the arms of another woman. A woman with odd bicoloured eyes and power over the undead.

    X X X

    Alice woke from her trance to see Carlisle standing in front of her with a worried look on his face.

    “You were gone for a while, Alice. What did you see?”

    Her face twisted into a puzzled frown as she tried to answer him as best she could.

    “A strange place, obviously not of this world but somehow Edward and Bella will manage to travel there. They’re in trouble, Carlisle, we have to warn them. They should still be at Charlie’s, come on!”

    Neither spoke on the drive over but pulling up to the house Alice turned to Carlisle with fear in her eyes.

    “Shouldn’t Edward have heard us, our thoughts, by now?” she asked, looking for reassurance.

    “Maybe he just doesn’t want to scare Charlie.” He soothed, stepping out of the car.

    “Alice? Carlisle? What are you doing here? Is something wrong?” asked a surprised Charlie as he opened the door to see the two of them on his porch.

    “Sorry to bother you so late,” began Carlisle “but we need to talk to Bella and Edward. May we come in?”

    Charlie looked puzzled. “Sure, you can come in but aren’t they at your house?”

    “What do you mean?”

    “They left about half an hour ago saying they were driving to yours. They should be there by now shouldn’t they?”

    Alice gasped, raising her hands to her mouth as if to try and stop the sound from escaping. She turned despairing eyes to Carlisle and whispered, “We’re too late, they’re gone.”

    X X X

    Dark and quiet. A flicker of torches further down the corridor and the slight whisper that promised people, but here shadows and silence reined. Bella looked around, fear causing her breath to hitch in her throat.

    “Edward?” she called softly, longing for the cool embrace of his marble arms. Where was he, and where was she for that matter? OK, what was the last thing she remembered? They had left Charlie’s to go to the Cullen’s, got in the truck, started driving, Edward had said something funny and then…nothing. She was here, in the dark, and Edward was missing. She realized the voices had become more distinct and, hoping they were friendly, crept closer to listen.

    “I give you one job and you can’t even do that properly.”

    A second voice answered but it was too faint to make out what it said.

    “I don’t care what happened, I don’t care what you felt. I. Don’t. Care! Just get out of my sight!”

    The second voice whispered again.

    “Of course come to my room later.” This voice had changed, become more caressing. “You’re not just minions for Xykon you know, at least that’s not why I make you! Now off you go and I’ll see you later.”

    Intrigued by this conversation, Bella had crept closer and closer to the source and the flickering light cast by the torches. This meant she saw the bearer of one of the voices clearly as he came round the corner. A man, or what used to be, with mouldy, ripped clothes, pale skin, vacant staring eyes and flesh hanging off his bones. He was coming straight towards her, she fainted.

    X X X

    She woke up to see a woman standing over her. Pale skinned, with black hair in pigtails and eyes of two different colours, she looked innocuous enough but some twist of feature, some erratic glint in her eyes warned Bella that this woman was dangerous. Her predatory smile when she saw Bella was awake only confirmed that feeling. Bella had seen a smile like that only once before, when James had lured her home and was threatening to kill her.

    “Rise and shine!” the mystery woman trilled in a sickly sweet tone. She looked away from Bella for a moment and spoke to someone else. “Don’t just stand there, help her up.”

    Bella felt two pairs of cold, lifeless hands lift her to her feet. She flinched away from their touch when she realised they were more zombies, hardly daring even to whisper the word in her own head. This close, the smell of rotting flesh was almost overpowering and she fought hard to keep from vomiting or fainting again. Noticing Bella’s now green tinged complexion, the woman laughed gaily.

    “What’s wrong? Aren’t you keen on my babies? Once you get to know them they can be rather charming. Anyway, introductions! My name is Tsukiko, what’s yours?” she asked in the same sweet tone. Bella stayed silent and Tsukiko’s demeanour changed at once.

    “Look bitch.” She hissed, grabbing Bella’s hair and pulling tight. “You have somehow managed to infiltrate our castle with no-one noticing you and when Xykon finds out he will not be happy. So, either you co-operate fully or what I do to you to get answers will seem as nothing compared to what he will do. We can heal you and break you and heal you and break you until you wish you were dead so don’t play with me, right? Will you co-operate?”

    “Yes.” Bella whispered. She had managed to stifle a scream but tears of pain ran down her face. Instantly Tsukiko’s mood lightened.

    “Good girl.” She purred, smoothing down Bella’s hair and using her thumbs to wipe the tears from her face. Bella tried to recoil from the contact but the zombies either side of her still held tight to her arms.

    “Hush.” Soothed Tsukiko, moving away instead. “Let’s start again shall we, name?”

    “Bella, Isabella Swan.”

    “See that wasn’t so hard was it? Now, you’re obviously not a paladin but do you come from Azure city?”

    “Where? No, I live in Forks, Washington.”

    “Not somewhere I’ve heard of. How did you get in?”

    “I don’t know. I don’t remember.”

    Tsukiko’s voice turned flinty again. “Try.”

    “Well it was just, one minute I’m with Edward, Edward Cullen my boyfriend, and the next I’m here.”

    “A boyfriend? Did he come here with you?” The predatory smile was back and there was an excited glint in her eye.

    “I don’t know, when I got here I was alone.”

    “Hmmm... You.” She called, pointing at a third undead Bella had not noticed in the shadows. “Alert everyone that there is a possible male intruder. If located he is not to be harmed but I am to be informed immediately, understand.” The ghoul nodded then scurried off.

    “You two follow me and bring her; we’re going to go see Xykon and Redcloak. Who knows, they might even be in a good mood!”

    X X X

    Edward ran through the seemingly endless blue corridors, senses straining to locate Bella, searching for a whiff of her scent or even a flash of her face in someone’s mind. Some of the minds he encountered, however, were strange, alien to him and he shied away from the gruesome images he was shown; a battle, many dead, many more injured, the cool relief of death only to be dragged back into a brutal semblance of life. Coming to another junction he distinctly heard his name being called in a sing song voice.

    “Edward! Come out, come out wherever you are!”

    Moving closer to where the call was coming from, cautiously now, he became aware of Bella’s unique fragrance in the air. She must be with whoever was calling him. Entering the room he didn’t even acknowledge the other three figures, two of which were holding her up, as he had eyes only for Bella and they filled with pain as he saw what had happened to her. Already bruises were starting to form on her pale skin and a series of long, deep gashes on her cheek showed when she had been slapped by a bony hand. His features twisted into a snarl of rage and he began advancing on the other individuals.

    “Uh, uh, uh!” the lone female scolded, stepping forward. “Play nice now.” She looked up into his face as if searching for something then nodded, apparently satisfied with what she had seen.

    “A vampire!” she muttered to herself. “She didn’t mention that. This changes things.” She turned to the zombies holding Bella. “Turns out we don’t need her after all. I guess you can put her in the dungeon until I’ve decided what to turn her into.”

    “What? Edward!” Bella screamed.

    “Bella, no!” He lunged towards her planning on dragging her away from the undead holding her, re-killing them if necessary.

    “Command Undead.” No more than a whisper.

    He stopped. Bella was still there, screaming, pleading for him to help her but suddenly it didn’t seem to matter, she didn’t seem to matter. His whole consciousness was focused on Tsukiko. Her very being filled his mind with purpose and when she smiled at him it felt like his life before that point hadn’t existed. Her voice was a chorus of angels which he couldn’t help but obey.

    “Edward?” Bella whispered, disturbed by the look of adoration on his face as he gazed at Tsukiko, who turned to Bella and grinned, a smile of triumph and something else she couldn’t quite place.

    “Too late,” she gloated, “he’s mine now! A vampire? Too easy.”

    “No... Edward? Edward it’s Bella. Speak to me Edward.”

    “Yes Edward, speak to her.” Tsukiko agreed, stroking his face. “Tell her you’re sorry but it’s over. Tell her you love somebody else. Tell her it probably wouldn’t have worked anyway. Tell her she was never good enough for you. Tell her you never really loved her. Tell her you never want to see her again.” Then she watched, delighted, as Edward repeated her words and broke Bella’s heart. She sighed happily.

    “Ah, so much fun! You can remove her now.” The zombies dragged Bella away, so broken she didn’t even bother to try and fight them. “And you,” she breathed to Edward, “can kiss me.”

    The End


    Thoughts?

    I'm not entirely happy with the beginning but can't think how to change it, I feel I repeat their names too much. The original has the F word but I removed it to post here. It only has it once but I do think it needs it. Original is, as always, on fanfiction.net.
    Last edited by Taekwondodo; 2009-12-05 at 01:55 PM.
    Avatar by me...yup that's how good my drawing is. As in not very good.

    Crack-Pairings, Not Dead Just Moved. Someone Hasn't Been Looking In The Right Places.


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    Quote Originally Posted by Caleniel View Post
    Taekwondodo - your nick and your avatar are terrific. I want to award you something... how about enough melons to see you through the next ice age?

  6. - Top - End - #66
    Orc in the Playground
     
    Meg's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Hehe. That was awesome. That is all I have to say.

    ...And that is how I met your father.

  7. - Top - End - #67
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    DarkElfGangsta's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Done! my first story! I'd appreciate both praises and criticisms! Julia x Nale!
    What do you think?
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    "You Damn Brat!"
    Nale, barely able to contro his anger, stomped towards the smirking, dark-skinned teenager. She was tied to a chair, with her hands behind her back.
    She was there for three days now, each other's sole company.
    Sabine was over in the demonic realms, searching for powrful demonic allies who would join their cause.
    Nale didn't want to think about how exactly she would persuade them.
    Thog was patrolling the city streets, looking for the occasional victim that could be lured to their apartment near the city square. Nale was stuck at the warehouse, guarding Julia. He felt angry, and frustrated, and bored to tears,
    so he removed her gag in order to chase the boredom away by taunting her.
    He didn't think he was going to be the one to lose his temper first.
    She kept smirking even as he drew his sword and let the point rest against her throat.
    "I warn you, little girl: disrespect me once more and I'll kill you without a second thought! keep. your. mouth. shut."
    He looked into her eyes then, wily, chocolate-brown, and deep. they twinkled with mischief. he knew that she was looking into his eyes as well, and was enraged to see that what she saw there made her smirk grow wider.
    still he did nothing to follow up on his threat.
    he was lost, in her eyes, those warm and stinging eyes, locked with his own blue and cold ones. he lowered his sword. a sense of peace washed over him.
    She got up from his chair, and somehow he did not find this very alarming.
    he opened his mouth to protest -
    she reached forward then, and her lips locked on his.
    Nale's mind went blank - his lover was a sex demon, but still nothing Sabine could do ever came close to this feeling.
    he felt hot, as if the was burning iron under his skin. his face prickled, her hair stinging his face as they leaned deeper into each other's embrace.
    she put a hand through his hair, massaging his neck.
    Nale wished this moment could go on forever: just him and this dark-skinned angel, locked in this white-hot moment for all eterni-
    BAM
    "Thog can be brown, thog can be blue, thog can be violet sky, Thog can be hurtful, thog can be purple, thog can be anything you'd likeee... Nale, not-nale is in city!.
    Nale pushed Julia away, gagged her, and tied her in the chair before Thog could round the crates hiding him from the door. He was shaking. he looked down at Julia, saw the affront and hurt in her eyes, and cursed the universe for making him who he is, for putting him in this position, for forcing him to break the first time in his life that he felt complete and happy.

  8. - Top - End - #68
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    V cool DarkElfGangsta. I hope to read more from you in the future. One question, why is every sentence on a new line? Oh, second question, what did you think of mine?
    Avatar by me...yup that's how good my drawing is. As in not very good.

    Crack-Pairings, Not Dead Just Moved. Someone Hasn't Been Looking In The Right Places.


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    Quote Originally Posted by Caleniel View Post
    Taekwondodo - your nick and your avatar are terrific. I want to award you something... how about enough melons to see you through the next ice age?

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    taekwondodo, thanks for your review. I read yours, and I I enjoyed how you smoothly integrated twilight with OOTs. that thing with tsukiko was a real BAM to the face! what I know about twilight can fill 2 lines, but even I enjoyed it.
    in short, great story, great writing!

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Three good stories on one page. I wish I could write that well.
    Last edited by Lawyergoblin; 2009-12-05 at 03:03 PM.

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by Lawyergoblin View Post
    Three good stories on one page. I wish I could write that well.
    Same here. I can't even come close to these other stories.
    Your local Cleric.

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    I had this good, as in really, really great, idea for a V/Z picture after my first post after coming back. But I forgot it.

    Vaarsuvius smiled faintly and slipped into a satisfied trance, still bathing in afterglow.
    This makes it sound like afterglow is...milk, or something. "Bathed" would be better.

    Like the rest very much though! V is hot.

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    (haven't been updated in a while and you can read the comic here)

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Water-Smurf, excellent as always. I'll read Gangsta and Taek later, I promise.

    Ugh, this is making me want to try my hand at a pairing. I've got a Roy/Miko story tugging at the corners of my mind, specifically a "what if?" story where they meet in the afterlife during the time Roy was dead. Which I guess is pretty tame as far as crack fic goes.

    Has anyone done that yet?

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by Zanaril View Post
    Well, it's probably significant that V finally told someone about the soldiers, but also that she admitted it was the only logical thing she could have done.
    V has been insisting that it was the only logical thing she could have done since the very beginning, though. My own pet theory is that V redeemed himself by NOT doing the logical thing with O-Chul and accepted that logic was not the highest ideal he had treating it as.

    Water-Smurf, since your story has V still being very tormented despite having come back to save O-Chul, I'd be interested in learning more about how V's psychology functions there, what role saving O-Chul DID play and more to the point, how V interpreted that incident. :)

    Quote Originally Posted by Water-Smurf View Post
    I present to you, V/RC. This chapter doesn't advance the plot too much, but I think that something of significance happens. (Try to point it out if you can. )

    Hopefully, I didn't break any rules with this.

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    “We can’t keep this up in this weather.”

    Vaarsuvius simply stopped walking, trying to hide the violent shivers running up and down the small elven body. The snow was rapidly gathering on the street, and they had almost slipped and fallen on the ice several times. The white fluff from the sky already had gotten to the point where it nearly reached the travelers’ knees, and it showed no sign of stopping. “Where do you suggest we settle, then?”

    “One of the houses. At least they will keep the snow out over the night.”

    Vaarsuvius didn’t protest. Redcloak noted with worry that the tips of the elf’s fingers had taken a bluish color, but he didn’t comment. His cheek still stung where Vaarsuvius had struck it, and he doubted that the elf would react any better to his concern just then.

    They both trekked to one of the closer homes, having to struggle a little to get the door open and walk inside.

    Redcloak forced the door closed, glancing around the hut. The first thing he noticed was that there was one bed for two with a thick blanket. (Well, he was fine with that—it’s not like they hadn’t slept together before.) There was a pile of wood under a window and a hole in the ceiling, probably meant for smoke from fires, was designed with a little elevated cap on it to protect from snow.

    That was odd. Deserts weren’t supposed to get snow, so why would the homes be built to handle it?

    “Did you prepare any fire spells today?” Redcloak asked, going over to the pile of wood and setting logs up in the middle of the dirt floor.

    “Of course.”

    Redcloak backed away and Vaarsuvius sent a fireball at the wood, immediately starting the flame. The goblin reflexively jumped a little away from the fire, quickly making sure that it wouldn’t catch on the house. “Don’t get too close right now. You don’t want to warm up too fast.”

    The elf didn’t comment when the goblin took delicate hands between his own, slowly warming them to avoid tissue damage. The fire cracked gently but did little to heat up the room. The warmth kept flowing out the windows.

    The silence made Redcloak very uncomfortable, but he still wasn’t quite ready to reach out again. He and Vaarsuvius had become dangerously intimate in the last few days, and the elf was right to try to push him away. They wouldn’t be able to fight each other if this kept up.

    “We’ll be okay. I promise.”

    He had been so stupid to say that, but he couldn’t bring himself to regret it. It was, quite frankly, a promise he couldn’t keep. They wouldn’t be okay. One or both of them was going to come out of this whole thing dead or worse.

    Vaarsuvius was doing the smart thing by trying to drive a wedge between them. It hurt, and he worried about both of their abilities to cope with the monstrous dungeon if they didn’t allow each other close, but he knew that Vaarsuvius was right.

    He slipped his hands away from the elf’s. “It should be okay to be close to the fire, now.”

    They both silently sat near the fire, the uncomfortable silence stretching.

    Vaarsuvius suddenly stiffened, ears twitching. Redcloak glanced at his lover in confusion. “Vaarsuvius?”

    “…I seem to have detected some strange sounds outside.”

    The goblin stood up immediately, walking to the window and glancing out at the wintry landscape.

    He tensed, stifling a growl in his throat and doing his best to hide any signs of distress.

    “Redcloak?”

    That was when he realized that he couldn’t hide anything from Vaarsuvius.

    Blood spatters stained the white ground. That alone wouldn’t bother him—it was a cheap visual trick. What bothered him was the fact that four people were sitting in the snow, one of them holding his own decapitated head in his hands. He knew those people.

    They were the soldiers he had gotten a brief glance of when he first found Vaarsuvius in the throws of a vision.

    A sharp intake of air next to him alerted him to the fact that his lover had stood up and looked out the window to see what was wrong.

    Redcloak spun around and stepped so that his body covered the window, taking Vaarsuvius’s arm gently. “Go back to the fire. We should have something to eat.”

    “I… they…”

    “Vaarsuvius, it’s just an illusion. It can’t hurt you if you don’t let it.” He gently yet firmly tugged the elf to the fire again. “Sit down—we should have some food in our packs.”

    The elf paused, then numbly nodded, passively allowing the goblin to lead the way back to the fire.

    Redcloak did his best to not wonder about the significance of the soldiers. He had just resolved a mere moment before to push Vaarsuvius away, and he knew well enough how private the elf was. It was a small miracle that his lover had been able to mention the trauma of finding someone hanging themselves, even after all they had been through. After everything that they both had suffered, the last thing he wanted was to make Vaarsuvius feel more afraid and insecure about him.

    He opened up their packs and pulled out an apple, giving it to the elf. “There isn’t much to eat left, but I think I can make something a little more substantial. I’ll cover up the windows first—all the warm air is leaking out.”

    Vaarsuvius nodded in thanks, understanding the favor the goblin was doing, eyes fixed on something in the fire that Redcloak could not see, and bit into the apple. The goblin stood up, pulling their blankets from their packs and using them to cover the windows. It wasn’t like they would need them that night. The bed they had stumbled on had a perfectly suitable one.

    Redcloak used what little they had to cook for both of them. He had to coax Vaarsuvius to finish it off, noting with worry that his lover looked even more ashen than usual. The fact that the elf was sick niggled at him, and he had the sense that he would know what was wrong if he only looked closer at the symptoms. Dizzy spells, abdomable pain, unusual sensitivity in the breasts (he had noticed that easily)…

    “Redcloak, what happens if they attack us?”

    He was pulled out of his train of thought and looked at the elf curiously.

    “Of course we both have spells, but they are creatures made from the very world around us. We cannot run through the snow and hope to escape, and if we vanquish them, more will come.”

    “I don’t think they’re there to attack us.” Redcloak pushed his empty plate to the side, leaning forward a little and adding some wood to the fire. “They’re there to make us afraid. That’s what this place depends on. Fear, pain, and desire. Admittedly, it seems to be focusing mostly on pain and fear for us, but there’s probably a reason for that.”

    The elf nodded silently, staring at the flames.

    “Vaarsuvius, why are they haunting you?”

    Redcloak knew that he shouldn’t ask. Vaarsuvius knew it too.

    The elf looked up at him, expression difficult to read.

    “I know that they’re what you have nightmares about. I know that their… I don’t know, presence has been following us since the start. I know that they mean something.” He tentatively reached out, brushing a strand of hair back from Vaarsuvius’s face and behind a pointy ear. “Why?”

    There was a long silence.

    “Redcloak, I do not wish to speak of this.”

    He shouldn’t push his luck. He really shouldn’t.

    The goblin lightly stroked the elf’s cheek, frowning. “Vaarsuvius, this has been plaguing you since before we met.” He hesitated briefly. “I don’t like seeing you tormented like this.”

    Vaarsuvius shook a small head. “There is nothing you can do to help, Redcloak.”

    “How do I know unless you tell me?”

    The elf was very, very quiet for a while. Redcloak wondered for a moment if he had offended his lover, but if he had, he would have been slapped for his troubles. “During the battle…” Vaarsuvius paused, closing violet eyes and taking a deep breath. Redcloak had to stifle a small jerk of surprise—he hadn’t expected his lover to open up. Then again, maybe that was what was needed. “During the battle at Azure City, I ran out of spells. I did not see anything else I could do to assist. I fled.” The elf undid the purple ponytail slowly, letting the long wild hair hang loosely. Redcloak listened carefully, fully aware of the likelihood that he was the only one that Vaarsuvius had trusted with this information. “I was invisible. A group of soldiers crashed into me and correctly assumed that I was the elven wizard that had been assisting in the battle.”

    The elf stopped dead, lips pursed until they were white. Redcloak tentatively touched Vaarsuvius’s hand, doubtful that the contact would be appreciated. Vaarsuvius grasped the offered hand tightly.

    “They begged me to save them. I could not. They were slaughtered.”

    Vaarsuvius was completely silent for a moment, face grim, muscles stiff. Redcloak wasn’t quite sure how to deal with it, so he settled with squeezing the small hand in his gasp and nuzzling the slender neck gently.

    “For all my power, I could not save them.”

    Redcloak politely pretended to not notice the suspicious glassiness in the elf’s eyes. Vaarsuvius shook a pale head, regaining the aloof and unconcerned mask that had been cracking more and more since they entered the dungeon.

    “But, of course, logically, I did what I should have. I can only take the experience as a lesson. I will not make such mistakes again. It is rather pointless that you insisted on me talking about it at all—it is in the past.”

    The goblin didn’t point out the tremors going up and down the elf’s body. He didn’t point out the barely contained wetness in violet eyes. He didn’t point out how fragile the tiny creature suddenly seemed, how it looked like, with all the demons the dungeon had forced upon the fiery mage, the seams were coming undone.

    He simply slipped his arm around the elf’s waist, murmuring something softly in Goblin and nuzzling a slender neck.

    Vaarsuvius leaned into his touches, satisfied with not having to show how deeply the deaths of the soldiers had imprinted themselves on the elf. Their fingers stayed intertwined. They leaned towards each other, touching lips tenderly before resting their foreheads against one another.

    “No matter how many reasons are presented to us, we continue to nurse our relationship. Why is that, Redcloak?” Vaarsuvius murmured softly, voice weighed down by despair and pain that the mage would never admit to. It felt like something heavy was just taken off the thin shoulders, but all that was left was a very tired elf.

    “We work out well together.” A slightly subdued smile flickered over Redcloak’s lips. “If it hadn’t been for the alignment and species differences, I think we could have been really happy with each other.”

    “I believe so as well.” Vaarsuvius lightly fingered Redcloak’s cheek. “I would have been willing to work past both obstacles under different circumstances.”

    “Under different circumstances.” Redcloak smiled, eyes dim. “But it’s pointless to speculate about different circumstances. These are the ones we have.”

    “Indeed they are.”

    They looked at the fire, leaning against each other, the goblin subtly trying to think of a way to ease his partner’s distress and the nightmares that would obviously descend that night. Redcloak reached up absently, running his fingers through the elf’s loose hair. His nails lightly brushed against pointy ears, sending tangible tremors through his lover’s body.

    Vaarsuvius let out a low warble, turning a small head to kiss Redcloak softly. The goblin easily moved so that they were in a more comfortable position and started stroking the ears firmly.

    The elf let out a soft gasp, crawling closer to the goblin, tilting a pale head and exposing a slender neck, showing off the trust they had unwisely built between each other. Redcloak’s teeth were sharp and strong enough to rip the elf’s exposed throat open before so much as a scream could be uttered.

    With a satisfied growl deep in his chest, Redcloak leaned forward, nuzzling and kissing his lover’s neck while continuing to massage the pointed ears. Vaarsuvius let out another warble, pawing at their clothes.

    Redcloak had no intention of taking anything off. Vaarsuvius wasn’t in the right state of mind to consent, and the goblin would feel too much like he was taking advantage of his lover, regardless of what the elf did or didn’t want. He made no movement to encourage Vaarsuvius, instead continuing to kiss a slender neck and stroke the pointed ears. His lover’s face flushed and the tiny body started to tremble, delicate arms slipping around the goblin’s neck. “Redcloak…”

    The goblin kissed the elf gently, letting out a gentle purr, and continued his ministrations. Vaarsuvius breathed heavily, body heating up, odd sounds that the mage would normally never utter falling from slightly swollen lips.

    It was only a small while of ear stroking until the elf stiffened against the goblin, letting out a soft cry before burying a flushed face in a green neck, gasping a long stream of breathless Elven, and going limp after a moment of intensity.

    Vaarsuvius breathed heavily, chest heaving, and violet eyes were glazed over with afterglow. Redcloak gently picked his lover up, carrying the tiny and compliant body to the bed, wrapping the little elf in the covers.

    The mage shifted, looking up at the goblin, unable to muster up the strength to be peeved when the elf realized what the cleric’s intentions had been. “Manipulative beast.”

    “I didn’t want you to have any nightmares. I just made sure that your brain let out all the chemicals it needed to be happy for now.” Redcloak smiled amusedly, unclasping his cloak. “And at least one of us needs our strength in case we’re attacked in the middle of the night, so I figured that we should hold off on using up energy with sex.”

    He pulled off his armor, carefully putting it next to the bed and climbing under the covers, wrapping his arms around his lover’s waist and pressing up against a small back. Redcloak lovingly brushed his lips against the elf’s temple, provoking a satisfied ‘mmm.’

    “Next time you attempt a trick like this, I shall be forced to use my not-inconsiderable arcane might against you.”

    “I’m sure you will be.” Redcloak rested his head on a pillow, smiling and lightly stroking his lover’s abdomen. He murmured a few words softly in Goblin, nuzzling the elf’s hair and sighing in contentment. “I love you.”

    “What does that mean, Redcloak? You know that I do not understand Goblin.”

    Redcloak kissed Vaarsuvius’s neck gently. “It was an affectionate way of saying goodnight.”

    “Oh.” Vaarsuvius lightly fingered the goblin’s hand. “Good night, Redcloak.” A smile flickered over the elf’s lips. “I would use a more affectionate term, but Common does not provide one and Elven has no words that would fit.”

    “That’s alright.” The goblin smiled wistfully, tightening his grip only a little. “Good night.”

    Vaarsuvius smiled faintly and slipped into a satisfied trance, still bathing in afterglow. Redcloak fell asleep soon afterwards.


    Thoughts?

    (I've spent way too much time in English class. I'm actually trying to pull off literary techniques that no one picks up on unless they're a total English nerd reading a book they expect to find that stuff in.)
    Great chapter. You characterise V very well. His confession about the soldiers was exactly the way I would have expected it - terse, with only the bare facts, and the implications mostly left between the lines. (The only exception is that I would expect V to kick himself more for having been too paralyzed with panic to even whisper a warning to them, but maybe that's to come later? For a first step, V's already revealed enough.)

    One little point of criticism: Since you're writing V, it would be good to brush up on arcane spells. ^^; Fireball has a huge range and seems like not just overkill but potentially suicidal when lighting a fire. Something like Burning Hands, Scorching Ray or best just that Flaming Finger cantrip V scribed in On the Origins of PCs would be better.

    I'm wondering about the strange house they're in. A house with a capped opening for snow that doesn't keep the warmth in, but still far too many openings for something that presumably has to endure sandstorms in the desert... Then again, this is a crazy illusion dungeon designed to drive them mad. I'm not really expecting logic there. :D

    Glad that Reddy's decided to keep both their sex drives under control. It kind of stretched plausibility the first time when they allowed themselves to be vulnerable to danger like that. ^^;

    I loved your explanation of how Girard went nuts in a previous chapter, by the way. :)

    Keep writing. :D I'll soon have a little sketch of Tiasal, Xykon and Tsukiko to show you, but I still have to scan and colour it...
    Last edited by Kaytara; 2009-12-06 at 03:03 AM.
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    I used the automatic dice roller and got:
    Windstriker + Zz'Dtri

    True love

    Someone complained a over a writers block. Well that wasn't me. I will let this one be blocked forever. (There kids here too you know)

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by Hardcore View Post
    I used the automatic dice roller and got:
    Windstriker + Zz'Dtri

    True love

    Someone complained a over a writers block. Well that wasn't me. I will let this one be blocked forever. (There kids here too you know)
    There's so many jokes you could have done about riding mounts.

    But nooooo, you have to chicken out of what could otherwise have been one hilariously long double entendre.
    This post may contain sarcasm.
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by Kaytara View Post
    One little point of criticism: Since you're writing V, it would be good to brush up on arcane spells. ^^; Fireball has a huge range and seems like not just overkill but potentially suicidal when lighting a fire. Something like Burning Hands, Scorching Ray or best just that Flaming Finger cantrip V scribed in On the Origins of PCs would be better.
    Distant inferno! (BLOOM!)
    Last edited by silversaraph; 2009-12-06 at 11:07 AM.

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by Kaytara View Post
    Keep writing. :D I'll soon have a little sketch of Tiasal, Xykon and Tsukiko to show you, but I still have to scan and colour it...
    Pffft. Coloring pictures? What's next, paying attention to proportions and shading? *snicker*

    ...And that is how I met your father.

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by Hardcore View Post
    I used the automatic dice roller and got:
    Windstriker + Zz'Dtri

    True love

    Someone complained a over a writers block. Well that wasn't me. I will let this one be blocked forever. (There kids here too you know)
    Psssh, I am legally still a kid, and I wrote ArgentxCrystal.
    It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.

    If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by Aaron View Post
    Same here. I can't even come close to these other stories.
    I wrote one and just gave up.

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Unfortunately I don't have time to write anything (A CRAPLOAD of work, an award ceremony in a couple of hours, AND a terrible cold) BUT...I do have a potential title that can be put in storage...

    Crack Pairings XVI: Where Elven Ear Stroking Is A National Sport

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    anyone got any suggestions about who I should write about next?
    I try to aim for stories that require less brain bleach then others
    also It'd be great to get more feedback bout the Julia x Nale
    Last edited by DarkElfGangsta; 2009-12-06 at 11:59 AM.

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    For everyone saying they wish they could participate if only they could write, just write anyways. One, this is a thread where genderswapped Mr Scruffy/Pregnant! Julia(Belkar is the father) is a reasonable story. Writing ability is good, but we aren't the Nobel committee. Two, writing skill is only improved through practice. The only reason I post here is because I can see the improvement from one story to another. You'll get better.

    In other words, gimme moar crackfic!
    [/sarcasm]
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by Sstoopidtallkid View Post
    For everyone saying they wish they could participate if only they could write, just write anyways. One, this is a thread where genderswapped Mr Scruffy/Pregnant! Julia(Belkar is the father) is a reasonable story. Writing ability is good, but we aren't the Nobel committee. Two, writing skill is only improved through practice. The only reason I post here is because I can see the improvement from one story to another. You'll get better.

    In other words, gimme moar crackfic!
    This.

    Not to mention we're pretty friendly here; we're unlikely to call you out on anything unless you want us to, and even then we'll try to be helpful.
    This post may contain sarcasm.
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by Sstoopidtallkid View Post
    For everyone saying they wish they could participate if only they could write, just write anyways. One, this is a thread where genderswapped Mr Scruffy/Pregnant! Julia(Belkar is the father) is a reasonable story. Writing ability is good, but we aren't the Nobel committee. Two, writing skill is only improved through practice. The only reason I post here is because I can see the improvement from one story to another. You'll get better.

    In other words, gimme moar crackfic!
    Okay, I'm taking your advise. Expect a story soon.

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by Zanaril View Post
    This.

    Not to mention we're pretty friendly here; we're unlikely to call you out on anything unless you want us to, and even then we'll try to be helpful.
    Fiddler Corollary: If you write something bordering My Immortal levels of fail, we will treat you like the failure you are.
    It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.

    If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).

    The best answer is always to ask your DM.
    Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.

  27. - Top - End - #87
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Zanaril's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by The Dark Fiddler View Post
    Fiddler Corollary: If you write something bordering My Immortal levels of fail, we will treat you like the failure you are.
    Unless it's done as a parody?
    This post may contain sarcasm.
    DeviantArt

  28. - Top - End - #88

    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by Zanaril View Post
    Unless it's done as a parody?
    I don't think it's humanly possible to do it intentionally, but of course parodies get an exception.
    It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.

    If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).

    The best answer is always to ask your DM.
    Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.

  29. - Top - End - #89
    Orc in the Playground
     
    PaladinGuy

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by silversaraph View Post
    Distant inferno! (BLOOM!)
    I laughed SO hard at that.

    I always feel weird whenever I look over this thread... I guess the name of it FINALLY makes sense to me. The pairings you guys go out of your way to come up with are just too funny to avoid laughing at.

    I think my favorite one so far is the one with Blackwing and V Liz.

    Just try not to go TOO much into detail with them... for... obvious reasons...
    "When will I ever stop telling stories? Well, you see..."

    That's what loyal teammates do for each other, isn't it? You know, when they're not busy getting new haircuts.

  30. - Top - End - #90
    Orc in the Playground
     
    Meg's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by RickDaily12 View Post
    Just try not to go TOO much into detail with them... for... obvious reasons...
    Yessir. *salutes*

    Which reminds me, remember to update the link in your banner if you haven't already done so.

    ...And that is how I met your father.

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