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2009-12-06, 07:45 PM (ISO 8601)
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2009-12-06, 07:49 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It
Damn you, Homework Zombies! You made me miss the party!
Originally Posted by Zanaril
D'awww...
It's good to see V talking about what's troubling her. Now if only she would tell him what's troubling her physically...
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2009-12-06, 07:53 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Minnesota, ya?
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2009-12-06, 07:56 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It
I meant as in the person. She went on an angry rant about how all the puppies got adopted by the time she arrived. Okay, I tolerated that because she drove for a while to get to the shelter.
But then she went on her cellphone and complained about it, IN FRONT OF ME, and her rant included stuff like "They don't care about the animals, they just want the money," because a $250 adoption fee is too much for saving a puppy's life?!My webcomic!
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Tales of Aequar: Runite's Rise IC
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Playing Natalia Bolts,Jadeite Nocrius, and Soren Lowell
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2009-12-06, 08:15 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Nov 2007
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- Texas...for now
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Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It
[/sarcasm]
FAQ is not RAW!Avatar by the incredible CrimsonAngel.
Saph:It's surprising how many problems can be solved by one druid spell combined with enough aggression.
I play primarily 3.5 D&D. Most of my advice will be based off of this. If my advice doesn't apply, specify a version in your post.
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2009-12-06, 08:34 PM (ISO 8601)
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2009-12-06, 08:40 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It
Uhm, okay. If this seems like it's too much, just tell me and I'll delete it. In any case, this has to be short because I have to write 20 pages of notes for tomorrow.
(Inkyrius/Inkyrius)+(Vaarsuvius/Vaarsuvius)
Spoiler
Inkyrius took another swig of beer, swaying unsteadily as he did so. Vaarsuvius grinned at hir lover. "Your turn," V said. The elf was often brief and to the point when drunk.
"Okay...My most embarrassing moment." Kyrie rubbed hir chin thoughtfully. "Well..."
Decades ago
"Happy birthday, Kyrie!" A package was handed over to the green-haired elf.
"Oh boy, what is this?" Kyrie eagerly ripped it open. "...What is this?" the elf asked, holding a rod of some sort in hir hand.
"It's a wand of Major Image. I know that you have always had an affection for illusion spells, so I made this for you..."
"Aww, thanks!"
Later that night an insidious thought ran through Kyrie's head, growing stronger by the moment. The elf could no longer restrain hirself. Kyrie closed hir bedroom door and furtively took out the wand of Major Image and a copy of Playelf stashed under hir mattress (Because isn't that where it's always kept?) "Major Image," Kyrie whispered.
A large image of Vaarsuvius appeared in front of Kyrie. The image of the purple-haired elf winked seductively, then began to strip. Kyrie grinned in delight as the image of Vaarsuvius danced in front of hir. The elf then began to concentrate again. The Vaarsuvius image whispered in Kyrie's ear as a second, equally naked one popped into existence.
"Oh Kyrie. You're too much for one elf, so let me introduce you to my identical naked twin, Vaarsuvius Two!"
An olive-haired elf walked into Kyrie's room. "Kyrie, you okay? I heard you shouting and--GAH!!!"
Kyrie bolted upright and the images popped out of existence as the olive-haired elf shouted. However, for a few moments, the sight of two naked Vaarsuviuses next to Kyrie, madly stroking hir own ears, was clearly visible.
Back to the drinking game
"Yeah...The next morning was awkward, to say the least," Kyrie mumbled.
Vaarsuvius stared into hir own mug of beer for a moment. "...Compared to that, my near-ruination of time and causality due to a misworded spell seems almost trivial."
...Uh, thoughts?My webcomic!
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Tales of Aequar: Runite's Rise IC
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Playing Natalia Bolts,Jadeite Nocrius, and Soren Lowell
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2009-12-06, 08:45 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It
Well, it's been two pages and no response, so I'm guessing I was just ignored.
I'll ask my question once more:
Has anyone done a Roy/Miko afterlife fic, and if they have, do they mind if I take a crack at it? (no pun intended).
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2009-12-06, 08:54 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It
I'll start trying out crackfics soon. I need more experience writing if I EVER want my real fiction story* to be good at all. Please critique me on Grammar and description. I Feel like I don't do well on Grammar and I KNOW I do bad on descriptions.
*Real as in I'm trying to make an actual book and not just one for fun.
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2009-12-06, 08:59 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It
It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.
If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).
The best answer is always to ask your DM.
Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.
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2009-12-06, 09:02 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Dominican Republic
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2009-12-06, 09:04 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It
Heh, thanks.
Look, even if we did, we're okay with having multiple crack pairings with the same characters!
So uhm, what do you guys think of my newest crack pairing?My webcomic!
Currently DMing:
Tales of Aequar: Runite's Rise IC
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Playing Natalia Bolts,Jadeite Nocrius, and Soren Lowell
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2009-12-06, 09:07 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It
I enjoyed it!
just a little complicated for me, but I'm not a complicated guy.
I'd be honored if some of the older member of the thread could have a look at my crack pairing? the Julia x Nale?
Spoiler"You Damn Brat!"
Nale, barely able to contro his anger, stomped towards the smirking, dark-skinned teenager. She was tied to a chair, with her hands behind her back.
She was there for three days now, each other's sole company.
Sabine was over in the demonic realms, searching for powrful demonic allies who would join their cause.
Nale didn't want to think about how exactly she would persuade them.
Thog was patrolling the city streets, looking for the occasional victim that could be lured to their apartment near the city square. Nale was stuck at the warehouse, guarding Julia. He felt angry, and frustrated, and bored to tears,
so he removed her gag in order to chase the boredom away by taunting her.
He didn't think he was going to be the one to lose his temper first.
She kept smirking even as he drew his sword and let the point rest against her throat.
"I warn you, little girl: disrespect me once more and I'll kill you without a second thought! keep. your. mouth. shut."
He looked into her eyes then, wily, chocolate-brown, and deep. they twinkled with mischief. he knew that she was looking into his eyes as well, and was enraged to see that what she saw there made her smirk grow wider.
still he did nothing to follow up on his threat.
he was lost, in her eyes, those warm and stinging eyes, locked with his own blue and cold ones. he lowered his sword. a sense of peace washed over him.
She got up from his chair, and somehow he did not find this very alarming.
he opened his mouth to protest -
she reached forward then, and her lips locked on his.
Nale's mind went blank - his lover was a sex demon, but still nothing Sabine could do ever came close to this feeling.
he felt hot, as if the was burning iron under his skin. his face prickled, her hair stinging his face as they leaned deeper into each other's embrace.
she put a hand through his hair, massaging his neck.
Nale wished this moment could go on forever: just him and this dark-skinned angel, locked in this white-hot moment for all eterni-
BAM
"Thog can be brown, thog can be blue, thog can be violet sky, Thog can be hurtful, thog can be purple, thog can be anything you'd likeee... Nale, not-nale is in city!.
Nale pushed Julia away, gagged her, and tied her in the chair before Thog could round the crates hiding him from the door. He was shaking. he looked down at Julia, saw the affront and hurt in her eyes, and cursed the universe for making him who he is, for putting him in this position, for forcing him to break the first time in his life that he felt complete and happy.
Last edited by DarkElfGangsta; 2009-12-06 at 09:13 PM.
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2009-12-06, 09:09 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It
The gist of it is that Kyrie and V are playing a drinking game where they recount their most embarrassing moments, and that was Kyrie's.
My webcomic!
Currently DMing:
Tales of Aequar: Runite's Rise IC
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Playing Natalia Bolts,Jadeite Nocrius, and Soren Lowell
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2009-12-06, 09:19 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Jun 2009
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- Minnesota, ya?
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2009-12-06, 09:20 PM (ISO 8601)
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2009-12-06, 09:23 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It
My webcomic!
Currently DMing:
Tales of Aequar: Runite's Rise IC
OOC Map
Playing Natalia Bolts,Jadeite Nocrius, and Soren Lowell
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2009-12-06, 09:24 PM (ISO 8601)
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2009-12-06, 10:05 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It
It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.
If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).
The best answer is always to ask your DM.
Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.
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2009-12-06, 10:11 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Minnesota, ya?
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2009-12-06, 10:16 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It
V + lockless, doorknobless door
GO GO GO
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2009-12-06, 10:17 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It
My webcomic!
Currently DMing:
Tales of Aequar: Runite's Rise IC
OOC Map
Playing Natalia Bolts,Jadeite Nocrius, and Soren Lowell
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2009-12-06, 10:26 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It
Plot Kraken? I vote we start using this term for uber plot bunnies. It just... fits... this thread.
Agreed.
Guess what guys? My parents got internet at their house, so I'll be able to keep track of this thread when I go home on weekends now!
Sorry, nothing new to report from me... I've got 2 crack fics to work on, several serious fan fics I've got plot bunnies/plot krakens for, a submission for my school's literary magazine I really need to write, and Finals this/next week.
Sigh...Anemoia: Nostalgia for a time you've never known.
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2009-12-06, 11:04 PM (ISO 8601)
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2009-12-06, 11:05 PM (ISO 8601)
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Last edited by CoffeeIncluded; 2009-12-06 at 11:05 PM.
My webcomic!
Currently DMing:
Tales of Aequar: Runite's Rise IC
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Playing Natalia Bolts,Jadeite Nocrius, and Soren Lowell
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2009-12-06, 11:12 PM (ISO 8601)
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2009-12-06, 11:13 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It
Ever read Good Omens?
My webcomic!
Currently DMing:
Tales of Aequar: Runite's Rise IC
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Playing Natalia Bolts,Jadeite Nocrius, and Soren Lowell
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2009-12-06, 11:18 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It
Last edited by DarkElfGangsta; 2009-12-06 at 11:19 PM.
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2009-12-07, 12:12 AM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It
I can't read books by Terry Pratchett for some reason. The writing's good and the humor is awesome but I just can't get past a few pages without getting bored and reading House of Leaves (another book I will never finish.) Good Omens I can kinda read though.
EDIT: Cracklord should of posted by now. I'm figuring Closak went insane and killed him in a rage. That or Zanaril.Last edited by Crilly; 2009-12-07 at 12:14 AM.
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2009-12-07, 12:33 AM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It
Hey Gangsta, good choice on coming to Canada. Whereabouts are you headed? Quebec? The praries? The Maritimes?
Ahem, back on topic. I'm starting my fic now, in this thread. Going completely off the cuff, so let's hope it turns out okay.
I call this story:
"Not for Everyone" Chapter 1: "Elan Would be Proud"
Spoiler"I need to find a tavern." Roy declared rather suddenly.
"Hmm?" Roy's Archon asked, flitting about in a little figure eight. The little puffball appeared taken aback by the sudden declaration. "Where did that come from?"
Roy shrugged his armored shoulders nonchalantly. "I don't know, I just feel like having a few drinks."
"Well, there's always the Tavern of Infinite One Night Stands..." Roy's Archon ventured.
Roy's face curled into an expression of disgust. "No. There's no way I'm going to the bar looking for some bimbo to bring home and screw in my mom's house. Or have you forgotten where we are?"
"It was just a suggestion..." The Archon declared, its light dimming slightly.
"Yeah, well, maybe suggest something else." Roy replied.
The Archon did a few lazy turns around the small guest room, apparently deep in thought. "Ah, I know of a place!" It declared. "Smilin' Pete's Pub, just a short distance from the Bless-ateria."
Roy nodded. "Sounds good. Lead the way."
***
Several hours (days? weeks?) later, Roy stood at the entrance to Smilin' Pete's, which bore a sign depicting a grinning man who was presumably the owner giving a thumbs-up while holding a pint of ale. He could hear the sounds of laughter and and loud voices beckoning him from the inside, and one particularly loud woman yelling about the quality of the Sake. Having lived in Azure City for the past little while, a tavern patron yelling about Sake didn't strike him as particularly odd. "Well, it certainly sounds authentically tavern-esque. I just hope a barfight doesn't break out."
"We actually try not to encourage such behaviour here. Lively debate is one thing, but punching your fellow spirits is frowned upon." Roy's Archon explained.
"I'll keep it in mind." Roy replied. He glanced at the sun, still beaming peacefully in the sky. "The only problem with this is that it's still midday. How am I supposed to enjoy a few pints if it's not..." He stepped through the door as he spoke, taking in the scene inside the tavern. The room was dimly lit by a fire and a few cleverly placed oil lamps, and the windows clearly displayed a starry night sky. "...Night?" He finished, shocked. "Well I'll be. They think of everything here."
"We do our best." Roy's Archon agreed. "And look over there, why, it's an empty table in a corner! Your favorite spot!"
Shaking his head at the continued marvels of the celestial realm, Roy walked over to the empty table, passing patrons who smiled and nodded at him as he went. It felt good to be among fellow Lawful-Goods, not having to worry if the bartender would try to cheat him or if the guy he was playing cards with was trying to cut his coin purse (Which was why he usually brought Haley. She was smart enough not to cut his purse, and he knew she was cheating, and so could just fold during any hand where she started betting big). Lost in thought, he settled into his table and let the tavern atmosphere wash over him. He took in the other patrons, noting a rather large number of dwarves, which didn't surprise him now that he thought about it. There was a black haired woman still arguing with the bartender, who seemed to be doing his level best to calm her.
"This Sake is an affront to the Gods! You should be cast out of this realm for such a mockery!" She declared vehemently, thumping an armored fist on the bar, which set off a chain reaction of clanks and jingles as the mail and plate she was wrapped in knocked about.
"M-ma'am, please, this Sake is as close to being made by the Gods themselves as possible! It cannot taste wrong." The barkeep pleaded.
"Then this must be a bad batch! Bring me another from a different barrel!"
The barkeep blinked quizzically. "It... it comes in bottles, ma'am."
"From a different bottle, then!"
"A-at once, ma'am."
Roy rolled his eyes. Even in the Celestial Realm it seemed there were troublesome barflies. He quicly resumed a neutral expression as the barkeep made his way to his table.
"Hey there, newcomer. I'm Smilin' Pete, owner of Smilin' Pete's. Been in the Celestial Tavern business for a hundred n' twenty-seven years, and there's not much I don't know about alcohol. So what'll it be?" The bartender asked with a dramatic bow.
Roy chuckled inspite of himself. "That was quite the introduction. How'd you know I was new?"
"You still got one of the little glowflies following you. They tend to take off once you get yourself settled in. So, here for good or just visiting?"
"Ah, visiting, I hope. I guess it depends how fast my party can get their acts together and ressurrect me." Roy explained.
Pete chuckled. "Ah, one of those adventuring types, are you? Goin' around and getting into all sorts of trouble?"
Roy laughed. "More than you know. Between the goblins and liches and psychotic halflings, I don't know which way is up or down some days. Being dead is almost like a vacation. A very, very surreal vacation, mind you."
"Ain't that the truth. Part of the reason I converted my home to into a tavern. I did it all my life, and it just feels weird not doing it in death. Enlightenment and the upper levels of the mountain can wait a few centuries I say, I'm not done owning a tavern just yet!" Pete thumped on the table for emphasis, grinning like a loon. Roy found himself liking the amicable proprietor. He had a jovial, easy manner, and a real love for his work.
At that moment a mailed fist crashed down on the table between them. "Barkeep!" The angry woman from earlier barked. "I asked for Sake! I did not ask for you to wander over here and talk with-"
Roy looked at her at the same second that she looked at him, and found himself staring into familiar, hate-filled black eyes. "M-Miko?!" He stuttered.
"GREENHILT!" Miko Miyazaki, ex-paladin, bellowed. She quickly drew her katana and levelled it at Roy's chest.
Fighter's instincts took over for Roy. Without conciously doing anything he found himself rolling left and out of the chair, then quickly back, putting it between him and Miko. He sprang to his feet and clumsily picked up the wooden chair, holding it awkwardly in front of himself with both hands, not sure if he should use it as a weapon or as a shield to block her attacks.
"It appears that the Gods have given me one last chance to finish my business with you." Miko growled with a predatory grin.
"Didn't you mention that one of your party members had a saying for times like this?" Roy's Archon asked worriedly, hovering over Roy's shoulder.
"Yeah, it went a little something like this; 'Dun, dun, DUN'."
"That's... not very comforting."
"No, no it is not."
Ah, ending on a cliffhanger. What do you all think? Should I continue?