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  1. - Top - End - #151
    Orc in the Playground
     
    Gimliggamer's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    I've been so frickin busy that I have barely read any crack in 4 months.
    Dolla dolla bill, y'all

  2. - Top - End - #152
    Ettin in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by Dark_Stryke View Post
    Hey Gangsta, good choice on coming to Canada. Whereabouts are you headed? Quebec? The praries? The Maritimes?

    Ahem, back on topic. I'm starting my fic now, in this thread. Going completely off the cuff, so let's hope it turns out okay.

    I call this story:

    "Not for Everyone" Chapter 1: "Elan Would be Proud"

    Spoiler
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    "I need to find a tavern." Roy declared rather suddenly.

    "Hmm?" Roy's Archon asked, flitting about in a little figure eight. The little puffball appeared taken aback by the sudden declaration. "Where did that come from?"

    Roy shrugged his armored shoulders nonchalantly. "I don't know, I just feel like having a few drinks."

    "Well, there's always the Tavern of Infinite One Night Stands..." Roy's Archon ventured.

    Roy's face curled into an expression of disgust. "No. There's no way I'm going to the bar looking for some bimbo to bring home and screw in my mom's house. Or have you forgotten where we are?"

    "It was just a suggestion..." The Archon declared, its light dimming slightly.
    "Yeah, well, maybe suggest something else." Roy replied.

    The Archon did a few lazy turns around the small guest room, apparently deep in thought. "Ah, I know of a place!" It declared. "Smilin' Pete's Pub, just a short distance from the Bless-ateria."

    Roy nodded. "Sounds good. Lead the way."

    ***

    Several hours (days? weeks?) later, Roy stood at the entrance to Smilin' Pete's, which bore a sign depicting a grinning man who was presumably the owner giving a thumbs-up while holding a pint of ale. He could hear the sounds of laughter and and loud voices beckoning him from the inside, and one particularly loud woman yelling about the quality of the Sake. Having lived in Azure City for the past little while, a tavern patron yelling about Sake didn't strike him as particularly odd. "Well, it certainly sounds authentically tavern-esque. I just hope a barfight doesn't break out."

    "We actually try not to encourage such behaviour here. Lively debate is one thing, but punching your fellow spirits is frowned upon." Roy's Archon explained.

    "I'll keep it in mind." Roy replied. He glanced at the sun, still beaming peacefully in the sky. "The only problem with this is that it's still midday. How am I supposed to enjoy a few pints if it's not..." He stepped through the door as he spoke, taking in the scene inside the tavern. The room was dimly lit by a fire and a few cleverly placed oil lamps, and the windows clearly displayed a starry night sky. "...Night?" He finished, shocked. "Well I'll be. They think of everything here."

    "We do our best." Roy's Archon agreed. "And look over there, why, it's an empty table in a corner! Your favorite spot!"

    Shaking his head at the continued marvels of the celestial realm, Roy walked over to the empty table, passing patrons who smiled and nodded at him as he went. It felt good to be among fellow Lawful-Goods, not having to worry if the bartender would try to cheat him or if the guy he was playing cards with was trying to cut his coin purse (Which was why he usually brought Haley. She was smart enough not to cut his purse, and he knew she was cheating, and so could just fold during any hand where she started betting big). Lost in thought, he settled into his table and let the tavern atmosphere wash over him. He took in the other patrons, noting a rather large number of dwarves, which didn't surprise him now that he thought about it. There was a black haired woman still arguing with the bartender, who seemed to be doing his level best to calm her.

    "This Sake is an affront to the Gods! You should be cast out of this realm for such a mockery!" She declared vehemently, thumping an armored fist on the bar, which set off a chain reaction of clanks and jingles as the mail and plate she was wrapped in knocked about.

    "M-ma'am, please, this Sake is as close to being made by the Gods themselves as possible! It cannot taste wrong." The barkeep pleaded.

    "Then this must be a bad batch! Bring me another from a different barrel!"

    The barkeep blinked quizzically. "It... it comes in bottles, ma'am."

    "From a different bottle, then!"

    "A-at once, ma'am."

    Roy rolled his eyes. Even in the Celestial Realm it seemed there were troublesome barflies. He quicly resumed a neutral expression as the barkeep made his way to his table.

    "Hey there, newcomer. I'm Smilin' Pete, owner of Smilin' Pete's. Been in the Celestial Tavern business for a hundred n' twenty-seven years, and there's not much I don't know about alcohol. So what'll it be?" The bartender asked with a dramatic bow.

    Roy chuckled inspite of himself. "That was quite the introduction. How'd you know I was new?"

    "You still got one of the little glowflies following you. They tend to take off once you get yourself settled in. So, here for good or just visiting?"

    "Ah, visiting, I hope. I guess it depends how fast my party can get their acts together and ressurrect me." Roy explained.

    Pete chuckled. "Ah, one of those adventuring types, are you? Goin' around and getting into all sorts of trouble?"

    Roy laughed. "More than you know. Between the goblins and liches and psychotic halflings, I don't know which way is up or down some days. Being dead is almost like a vacation. A very, very surreal vacation, mind you."

    "Ain't that the truth. Part of the reason I converted my home to into a tavern. I did it all my life, and it just feels weird not doing it in death. Enlightenment and the upper levels of the mountain can wait a few centuries I say, I'm not done owning a tavern just yet!" Pete thumped on the table for emphasis, grinning like a loon. Roy found himself liking the amicable proprietor. He had a jovial, easy manner, and a real love for his work.

    At that moment a mailed fist crashed down on the table between them. "Barkeep!" The angry woman from earlier barked. "I asked for Sake! I did not ask for you to wander over here and talk with-"

    Roy looked at her at the same second that she looked at him, and found himself staring into familiar, hate-filled black eyes. "M-Miko?!" He stuttered.

    "GREENHILT!" Miko Miyazaki, ex-paladin, bellowed. She quickly drew her katana and levelled it at Roy's chest.

    Fighter's instincts took over for Roy. Without conciously doing anything he found himself rolling left and out of the chair, then quickly back, putting it between him and Miko. He sprang to his feet and clumsily picked up the wooden chair, holding it awkwardly in front of himself with both hands, not sure if he should use it as a weapon or as a shield to block her attacks.

    "It appears that the Gods have given me one last chance to finish my business with you." Miko growled with a predatory grin.

    "Didn't you mention that one of your party members had a saying for times like this?" Roy's Archon asked worriedly, hovering over Roy's shoulder.

    "Yeah, it went a little something like this; 'Dun, dun, DUN'."

    "That's... not very comforting."

    "No, no it is not."


    Ah, ending on a cliffhanger. What do you all think? Should I continue?
    Not a huge fan of Miko, nor of crossing Roy with anything(he's LG and in a committed relationship), but this may work. You seem to have caught his essence well(the bit about Haley is basically how I think he thinks), and Miko was definitely...Miko. Pretty good start.
    [/sarcasm]
    FAQ is not RAW!
    Avatar by the incredible CrimsonAngel.
    Saph:It's surprising how many problems can be solved by one druid spell combined with enough aggression.
    I play primarily 3.5 D&D. Most of my advice will be based off of this. If my advice doesn't apply, specify a version in your post.

  3. - Top - End - #153
    Dwarf in the Playground
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by Sstoopidtallkid View Post
    Not a huge fan of Miko, nor of crossing Roy with anything(he's LG and in a committed relationship), but this may work. You seem to have caught his essence well(the bit about Haley is basically how I think he thinks), and Miko was definitely...Miko. Pretty good start.
    You know, that makes me wonder...is it possible to be Lawful Good but also polygamous?

  4. - Top - End - #154
    Ettin in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by Kyronea View Post
    You know, that makes me wonder...is it possible to be Lawful Good but also polygamous?
    IMHO, yes, because Polygamy is about spreading your love among many rather than limiting it to one person, but only if your partners agree. I don't think many LG people would be willing to cheat, however, and the act of cheating is definitely not LG(E, probably CE).

    I also recommend the BoEF for further thoughts on alignments and sex, it's a very good sourcebook in that regard.
    [/sarcasm]
    FAQ is not RAW!
    Avatar by the incredible CrimsonAngel.
    Saph:It's surprising how many problems can be solved by one druid spell combined with enough aggression.
    I play primarily 3.5 D&D. Most of my advice will be based off of this. If my advice doesn't apply, specify a version in your post.

  5. - Top - End - #155
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    A few things:

    I'm actually not sure if this story is going to turn romantic. I have a general idea of what I want to happen, but this is more about getting Roy and Miko interacting. I'd still consider it crack if they wound up as friends.

    Next, I'm not sure if things done in the afterlife "count". I mean, the Deva assigned to Roy's case knew every aspect of his life, and presumably Roy's Archon does as well. Why would it even point out the Tavern of Infinite One Night stands if it knew Roy was in a commited relationship and would have a moral problem with using it? I doubt they're in the business of tempting people to sin in the Celestial Realm... So I wonder if sexual acts commited there would even count as cheating.

    Roy even says his time on the mountain is just a happy blur... but on the other hand he negates it a few comics later by explicitly stating he remembers his mom's 'friend'. So is he lying? Is it a plot hole? Just a one-off joke that I'm way overthinking?

    Meh, I'll probably post another chapter tomorrow.

    (More reviews would be appreciated. *cough* )

  6. - Top - End - #156
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    ClericGuy

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by DarkElfGangsta View Post
    ni. I am gonna buy it on my trip to canada next week. any other good books out there i should get? also what stores can I buy the OOTs books at? i really wanna read SOD
    I've found that some of the places that have OOTS books are: Barrens and Nobel, Border's, Boscos's, ect... Basically most places that carry books (bookstores). They are usually in the comic book section (duh, comic books), or in the adventures section in the stores.
    Your local Cleric.

    Cleric of the Murphy's Law Thread
    (yes, that is possible)

    "Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines."

  7. - Top - End - #157
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Basically most places that carry books (bookstores)
    Not so easy outside the US!
    Last edited by Saeyan; 2009-12-07 at 07:27 AM.

    I draw pictures:


    (haven't been updated in a while and you can read the comic here)

  8. - Top - End - #158
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    (A complete veering from the current topic ahead.)

    Well, I've been doing a lot of literary stuff (my English teachers are really good at ingraining subconscious habits in the minds of their students, apparently). (Spoilered for English nerd-ism.)
    Spoiler
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    For example, I've been changing the language and the way Reddy and V are referred to according to whose point of view it is. Reddy started out only referring to V as 'the elf' and as 'it.' It's the sign of his dehumanization of her--when he looks at Vaarsuvius, he sees not her but all elves who have ever hurt him or goblinkind. Then he refers to her as 'Vaarsuvius' and 'it,' giving her an identity outside of her species but still putting her beneath him. Then he stops using gender pronouns/uses 'her' when he has to and calls her his 'partner,' giving recognition for the relationship they have but not quite implying emotions for her (yet the 'person' figure in his mind calls her his lover, implying genuine feelings, while the 'scientist' figure still calls her 'it,' implying his desire to be able to dehumanize her again). After the Vaarsuvius figure in his dream makes him realize his love, he just calls her 'Vaarsuvius' and his 'lover,' implying the acceptance and even the embracing of his feelings.

    Vaarsuvius has yet to refer to him as her 'lover,' showing off the fact that, for all her power, age, and intellect, she is the least emotionally ready for love out of both of them. (Which is saying something since Reddy is still technically somewhere between twelve and nineteen.) He is capable of accepting his feelings for her while she stays in deep denial about it, throwing out increasingly weak excuses of 'It's just a fling,' 'He is probably only interested in sex and intellectual companionship,' and 'The only reason I don't kill him now is that I owe him for sparing my life.' She's barely ready for a physical relationship; realizing that she is emotionally vested in Redcloak would be the end of her.

    Just an example...


    And as for the significant thing, this is spoilered not only for English nerdiness but for actual story spoilers. Sort of.

    Spoiler
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    Vaarsuvius's sense of sex is that it's something that other people take pleasure from, but not her. Her first time was basically rape. Her next few times with Inkyrius were basically what she did when Kyrie was really trying to instigate something. She did it entirely because Inkyrius wanted the intimacy that sex incites, and she felt uncomfortable the whole time. (Her first, ah, 'high point' probably came with Reddy.)

    Redcloak has unwittingly turned her perceptions of sex upside-down. Suddenly, she really enjoys it too. She isn't shying away from intimacy anymore. She likes the idea of making love with him, though her fear of love forces her to think of it as only sex. If she doesn't refer to it as 'making love,' she can shrug it off as being the product of her heretofore latent sex-drive suddenly making an appearance and Redcloak and herself just being very compatible sexually. After all, neither of them are in this physical relationship for love. It's for pleasure and lust and only that.

    Reddy has shattered her justifications by accident because of the fact that he did something only for her pleasure and peace of mind without asking for any sexual favors in return. He received no physical pleasure from it. She was the only one who benefited. He proved that it's not about lust, at least for him. He also proved that it's possible for sex to be a purely pleasurable, intimate, and loving act without the fear and anxiety she sometimes gets with being entered. It has become something of love and intimacy, not passion and pleasure.

    The significance of this hasn't hit her yet, but it will.


    Okay, nerdiness done now. Until I write another essay I need to spoiler.

    Quote Originally Posted by Saeyan View Post
    Like the rest very much though! V is hot.
    Which part made you say that?

    Quote Originally Posted by Kaytara View Post
    Water-Smurf, since your story has V still being very tormented despite having come back to save O-Chul, I'd be interested in learning more about how V's psychology functions there, what role saving O-Chul DID play and more to the point, how V interpreted that incident. :)
    ...You have unleashed the psychology/English nerd within me again.

    I hope you're happy.

    Spoiler
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    You see, Vaarsuvius was ready, if not to heal, to bury the soldiers’ deaths away until they were just another scar in her psyche. Saving O-Chul eased her conscience a little, but it didn’t do much to restore her self-worth. (She was captured too and needed Redcloak to let her go to be, ahem, negligent for her to save O-Chul and escape.) The nightmares stopped after her entanglement with Reddy, and in a way, he had allowed her to come to a certain amount of understanding with herself over what happened.

    Then her pregnancy started firing off hormones and the fragile peace was sent straight to hell.

    We’re forgetting here that V and Reddy are both drunk off of their own hormones—V’s got a little person growing in her and Reddy’s got this helluva strong instinct that’s basically hijacked his body. (I figure that goblins would have had to evolve to protect their young and pregnant women with their situations. No food because the gods stuck you with crappy land? Make sure to feed the children and pregnant ladies first—they make the next generation! Some humans are trying to kill your family? Protect your children and pregnant mate to the last breath—you’re more likely to pass along your genes. Circumstances conspire so that goblin men would develop a freakishly powerful instinct to protect their young and their pregnant mates.) He can still think and act reasonably as long as he knows that his mate and unborn child are safe, but as soon as either of them is threatened, he loses control. One of the deeply primordial and somewhat embarrassing things of goblin biology.

    But anyway, V’s hormones started going wonky, making her increasingly susceptible to inner torment. That alone wouldn’t have been too bad, but then she found out that she was knocked up, and then to just top it off, her mate divorces her.

    Considering her experience with Inky, her current children, and her parents, this opens a whole new can of worms. Consciously, she figures that she’ll just get an abortion. Subconsciously, she understands that the cleric she saw about it was correct about the fact that her body will not be able to handle any sort of termination and she also understands that she is in love with Redcloak and he will likely die soon (though none except the latter fact are ever acknowledged consciously). She will give birth if she doesn’t die from miscarriage, and she won’t be able to give up the child for good because it will be all she has left to remember the only man who got close enough to her heart as to be able to touch it. And since she doesn’t have a conveniently doting spouse to pawn the child off to, she’s going to actually have to attempt to raise it.

    This is not to say that she doesn’t love her current children very much and wouldn’t feel the same love for this new child—she does and she would. Say what you will about her, but she’s their Other Parent/mother. She’s just terrified of screwing them up the way her parents screwed her up and therefore doesn’t know how to work with them naturally. Without Inky or Reddy helping her out, she’s certain that this new kid is doomed to a very f***** up childhood, and a subsequent miserable adulthood.

    Since her conscious mind won’t let her go even that far with her surface thoughts, her subconscious makes her worries manifest in memories. She remembers all the messed up things her parents did to her and how much damage she took because of it, bringing up way too many sore spots to handle at once. Then her newfound insecurity, fear, and anger at herself and the world rips open her barely scabbed-over mental wounds and brings up the soldiers, her mind practically taunting her with her own inadequacies.

    Maybe, even after all of this, she would have been able to come to terms with it in a bit and the nightmares would fade again. But no. She went into the evil hell dungeon of doom.

    The visions it gives her agitate her further, and all that coupled with her hormones and the pain she’s already endured, this destroys her mental defenses. Suddenly, memories of traumas that she had conveniently filed away and hadn’t thought about in years come back and slam her full-force. She’s going insane with all the built-up pain inside. Since she’s by far the most readily screwed up individual in the dungeon (except for maybe Reddy), it is actually specifically targeting her for torture. If Redcloak hadn’t turned up when he did, I fully believe that V would have ended up killing herself just to make all of it stop.

    It’s the demonic psychological domino effect!

    But anyway, more about your actual question, she saw her going back for O-Chul as an exceedingly stupid breach of logic, though she doesn’t regret it. She and O-Chul are alive, they got vital information to the resistance, the refugees, and the Order, and she met Redcloak. It was a missed opportunity for even more nightmares. (Can you imagine how worse off she’d be if she left him if she’s this messed up already?)

    But this has gone on too long already, so I’ll cut it short.


    Quote Originally Posted by Kaytara View Post
    (The only exception is that I would expect V to kick himself more for having been too paralyzed with panic to even whisper a warning to them, but maybe that's to come later? For a first step, V's already revealed enough.)
    That's more something to beat herself up over in her head for now. Reddy asked for what happened and she told him what happened, no more, no less.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kaytara View Post
    One little point of criticism: Since you're writing V, it would be good to brush up on arcane spells. ^^; Fireball has a huge range and seems like not just overkill but potentially suicidal when lighting a fire. Something like Burning Hands, Scorching Ray or best just that Flaming Finger cantrip V scribed in On the Origins of PCs would be better.
    Bleh! D&D rules! My immortal enemy! Well, I try to look this stuff up, but I don't understand half the terminology yet. Whenever you see a spell inconsistency, try to blame it on... the fact that OotS doesn't necessarily follow D&D rules to the T. Yep. Blame it on that.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kaytara View Post
    I'm wondering about the strange house they're in. A house with a capped opening for snow that doesn't keep the warmth in, but still far too many openings for something that presumably has to endure sandstorms in the desert... Then again, this is a crazy illusion dungeon designed to drive them mad. I'm not really expecting logic there. :D
    It's designed so they will be psychologically tortured. Windows to see the oncoming threats. A door at the foot of the bed to stare at at night in fear. It's not built to withstand anything except happy feelings.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kaytara View Post
    Glad that Reddy's decided to keep both their sex drives under control. It kind of stretched plausibility the first time when they allowed themselves to be vulnerable to danger like that. ^^;
    It would if you don't take into account their mental states. Reasonable thinking is starting to crumble. They're both hopped up on hormones and reliving some of their worst experiences. They weren't thinking clearly when they had sex in the woods--though the fact that nothing had attacked them so far in the days they had been in the dungeon probably helped ease their latent reasoning skills. The fact that Redcloak was able to control the situation this time was only by virtue of the fact that he wasn't being tortured at the moment: Vaarsuvius was.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kaytara View Post
    Keep writing. :D I'll soon have a little sketch of Tiasal, Xykon and Tsukiko to show you, but I still have to scan and colour it...
    Yay! :D :D :D

    Okay, I think I'm done...

    Spoiler
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    The April Squickies Award for Best Crack Pairing Story


    Thank you so much to Kaytara for the avatar! It's of Redcloak's and Vaarsuvius's love child.

  9. - Top - End - #159
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    /drunken giggle/ I love nerdiness. You and I together, we're going to rule the world.

    Which part made you say that?
    Come on now, do you even need to ask that? Though I guess it's kind of weird because you're writing V as a girl. But not really.

    OK picture time:

    Spoiler
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    Backstory: I'm going to go with "V found this copy of Playelf while rooting through Kyrie's trash" because it's plausible. I get the feeling V would be more turned on by text than boobies though.

    Also, drawing with a mouse is a pain in the ass.


    Does this count as the first picture of the new thread? Because it seems to be the only accomplishment I can achieve.

    I draw pictures:


    (haven't been updated in a while and you can read the comic here)

  10. - Top - End - #160
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by CoffeeIncluded View Post
    A copy of Playelf
    You do know there's actually a Playelf Calendar by a Swedish artist, don't you?

    Google it, enter the Playelf Gallery and whatever you do - don't be at work.
    Avatar by CoffeeIncluded

    Oooh, and that's a bad miss.

    “Don't exercise your freedom of speech until you have exercised your freedom of thought.”
    ― Tim Fargo

  11. - Top - End - #161
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    Taekwondodo's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Did you ever read my story Dark_Stryke? You mentioned earlier that you would but you never said anything about it, what did you think? Also def. continue with your story, good so far!

    Water-Smurf I hope you never stop over-analysing your characters. Your explanations are, to me, as entertaining as the story itself!

    Cute pic Saeyan.
    Avatar by me...yup that's how good my drawing is. As in not very good.

    Crack-Pairings, Not Dead Just Moved. Someone Hasn't Been Looking In The Right Places.


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    Quote Originally Posted by Caleniel View Post
    Taekwondodo - your nick and your avatar are terrific. I want to award you something... how about enough melons to see you through the next ice age?

  12. - Top - End - #162
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    DarkElfGangsta's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by Taekwondodo View Post
    Did you ever read my story Dark_Stryke? You mentioned earlier that you would but you never said anything about it, what did you think? Also def. continue with your story, good so far!

    Water-Smurf I hope you never stop over-analysing your characters. Your explanations are, to me, as entertaining as the story itself!

    Cute pic Saeyan.
    same here.
    and to whomevever wants to know - i'm gonna be stayin with family in Ottawa, alta vista.

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by Taekwondodo View Post
    Water-Smurf I hope you never stop over-analysing your characters. Your explanations are, to me, as entertaining as the story itself!
    I second this, although it does make me slightly depressed at how incapable I am of analysing and understanding characters. Or real people.


    Quote Originally Posted by Saeyan View Post
    I get the feeling V would be more turned on by text than boobies though.
    Oh my! All this new vocabulary!

    Quote Originally Posted by DarkElfGangsta View Post
    ni. I am gonna buy it on my trip to canada next week.
    Off Topic:
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    Just watch out if you go looking for Good Omens fanfic. While there's a large community around it and some very skilled writers, the theme of the book means there's inevitably lots of fics which make Cracklord's depiction of Hell look like a pleasant walk in the park. I mean that very literally.
    Last edited by Zanaril; 2009-12-07 at 12:38 PM.
    This post may contain sarcasm.
    DeviantArt

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    Sstoopidtallkid's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Water-Smurf, if you need a spell effect, you can just PM me. I'm online here basically constantly and I know enough to find something to do what you want.

    It's just a bit jarring to read about Fireball, which makes a 40' sphere dealing fairly high damage, being used to light some logs. The cabin wouldn't have survived.
    [/sarcasm]
    FAQ is not RAW!
    Avatar by the incredible CrimsonAngel.
    Saph:It's surprising how many problems can be solved by one druid spell combined with enough aggression.
    I play primarily 3.5 D&D. Most of my advice will be based off of this. If my advice doesn't apply, specify a version in your post.

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by Sstoopidtallkid View Post
    Water-Smurf, if you need a spell effect, you can just PM me. I'm online here basically constantly and I know enough to find something to do what you want.

    It's just a bit jarring to read about Fireball, which makes a 40' sphere dealing fairly high damage, being used to light some logs. The cabin wouldn't have survived.
    Seconding this.

    I'm sure most of the community would be happy to explain some of the rules for you. If you'd just like some basic terminology so you can figure out the spell descriptions, I'm sure I could do that. eg:

    1 round = six seconds
    Hit Dice (HD) = essentially the number of levels the creature has. A 13th level fighter has 13d10HP (plus a number based on constitution) and thus has 13HD.
    etc, etc, etc.

    Going to read the stories by Gangsta and Taek now.

    Aaaand done.

    Taek: I've only read a little bit of Twilight (couldn't get through more than a few pages without my brain trying to punch out my eyeballs from the inside), but from what I can see it remained true to the characters. I liked it.

    Gangsta: Your writing is pretty good, with only a few spelling errors. Characterization was a little off. One of Nale's plans backfiring and leaving him nearly foaming at the mouth in rage was spot on. Julia snarking him to hell and back was also spot on. No idea why they would have lead to them kissing, though. Thog made me laugh. Overall I liked it.
    Last edited by Dark_Stryke; 2009-12-07 at 02:01 PM.

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    Post Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by Saeyan View Post
    /drunken giggle/ I love nerdiness. You and I together, we're going to rule the world.



    Come on now, do you even need to ask that? Though I guess it's kind of weird because you're writing V as a girl. But not really.

    OK picture time:

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    Backstory: I'm going to go with "V found this copy of Playelf while rooting through Kyrie's trash" because it's plausible. I get the feeling V would be more turned on by text than boobies though.

    Also, drawing with a mouse is a pain in the ass.


    Does this count as the first picture of the new thread? Because it seems to be the only accomplishment I can achieve.
    Yay! I got fanart from one of my stories! Nice pic!

    You do know there's actually a Playelf Calendar by a Swedish artist, don't you?

    Google it, enter the Playelf Gallery and whatever you do - don't be at work.
    ...I don't believe it. Just knowing that actually exists squicks me out more than anything else on this thread. (Then again, rule 34...)

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by CoffeeIncluded View Post
    ...I don't believe it. Just knowing that actually exists squicks me out more than anything else on this thread. (Then again, rule 34...)
    It's very good art, if you're into nude elven women. You should probably close the door, though...
    Avatar by CoffeeIncluded

    Oooh, and that's a bad miss.

    “Don't exercise your freedom of speech until you have exercised your freedom of thought.”
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by CoffeeIncluded View Post
    ...I don't believe it. Just knowing that actually exists squicks me out more than anything else on this thread. (Then again, rule 34...)
    It makes your fic that much funnier.

    And really, it it such a surprise? A good proportion people on this thread have an elf fetish; they're just catering for the market that's there.
    This post may contain sarcasm.
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by Asta Kask View Post
    It's very good art, if you're into nude elven women. You should probably close the door, though...
    I'm a heterosexual female. Human.

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by CoffeeIncluded View Post
    I'm a heterosexual female. Human.
    None of those are things you should automatically assume about anyone you meet on the internet.

    Well, appart from the female bit, since it says under your avatar.
    Last edited by Zanaril; 2009-12-07 at 03:20 PM.
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by Zanaril View Post
    None of those are things you should automatically assume about anyone you meet on the internet.

    Well, appart from the female bit, since it says under your avatar.
    I know that. I'm just giving even more of a reason that I'm not gonna touch that link with a standard-issue 10-foot pole.

    Wait, but not the human bit?

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by CoffeeIncluded View Post
    I'm a heterosexual female. Human.
    And a brainy nerd who dislikes Twilight... *sigh* if only you were ten years older...
    Avatar by CoffeeIncluded

    Oooh, and that's a bad miss.

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by CoffeeIncluded View Post
    I know that. I'm just giving even more of a reason that I'm not gonna touch that link with a standard-issue 10-foot pole.

    Wait, but not the human bit?
    ...

    >_>

    <_<

    You could be a spambot.
    *sighs in relief at narrow escape*
    Last edited by Zanaril; 2009-12-07 at 03:35 PM.
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by Asta Kask View Post
    And a brainy nerd who dislikes Twilight... *sigh* if only you were ten years older...
    You also have the "I live across the Atlantic" problem.

    Quote Originally Posted by Zanaril View Post
    *Pokes arm*

    Arm: *Is warm*

    ...Don't think I have that problem.
    Last edited by CoffeeIncluded; 2009-12-07 at 03:26 PM.

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by CoffeeIncluded View Post
    I'm a heterosexual female. Human.
    For (mostly) non-naked pics check the worksafe gallery. I just wish I could draw like that...
    Avatar by me...yup that's how good my drawing is. As in not very good.

    Crack-Pairings, Not Dead Just Moved. Someone Hasn't Been Looking In The Right Places.


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    Quote Originally Posted by Caleniel View Post
    Taekwondodo - your nick and your avatar are terrific. I want to award you something... how about enough melons to see you through the next ice age?

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by Taekwondodo View Post
    For (mostly) non-naked pics check the worksafe gallery. I just wish I could draw like that...
    I love his drawings. This one's for Closak:

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    Avatar by CoffeeIncluded

    Oooh, and that's a bad miss.

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by CoffeeIncluded View Post
    You also have the "I live across the Atlantic" problem.
    Airplanes, m'dear, airplanes.
    Avatar by CoffeeIncluded

    Oooh, and that's a bad miss.

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by Asta Kask View Post
    Airplanes, m'dear, airplanes.
    Yes. Yes, I am going to take what little money I have out of my bank account (Because I don't have a job yet and I'm saving my bat mitzvah money for college), fly to Sweden against my parents' will despite the fact that I'm not yet a legal adult, and enter a tryst with a guy ten years older than me who I met on the internet, and I don't even know his name.

    Reality called, you've gone missing and they're about to send for the police.

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by Zanaril View Post
    I second this, although it does make me slightly depressed at how incapable I am of analysing and understanding characters. Or real people.
    Then get outside more often.

    Quote Originally Posted by CoffeeIncluded View Post
    You also have the "I live across the Atlantic" problem.
    Whats so bad about that?
    Your local Cleric.

    Cleric of the Murphy's Law Thread
    (yes, that is possible)

    "Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines."

  30. - Top - End - #180

    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by Zanaril View Post
    Well, appart from the female bit, since it says under your avatar.
    If I didn't trust Coffee more, I'd say she might actually be a G.I.R.L.

    Guy in Real Life.

    But I trust Coffee better than that.
    It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.

    If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).

    The best answer is always to ask your DM.
    Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.

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