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2010-01-18, 07:37 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2009
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- New York
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Re: Crack Pairings VI - We've Finally Stooped to Shipping Ourselves
Well played.
But do you have crack pairings of the characters in the LP?
Oh yeah, I promised CoffeeIncluded/V, didn't I? Gimme a moment.
And here is CoffeeIncluded/Vaarsuvius, set at my local library!
Coffee used in place of my real name.
Spoiler
Coffee sat in a corner of the fiction section of the library, working on her physics homework with a stack of books beside her. Her content expression quickly turned to one of frustration, then anger as she couldn't work out the problem. Finally, with a scream and a curse, she chucked the textbook in a random direction.
She then heard a THWUNK, a muffled yelp, and a shout of, "What in the infernal hells just threw a book at me?!"
Coffee felt a sinking feeling. She got up and went over to where the sound came from. "Uh, l-listen, I...I'm really sorry about that and it was an accident and...Why are you shelving my physics textbook in the fiction section? And...Uh, there was an anime convention in the city today?" It was the only logical explanation; the person (Male? Female?) in front of her had a red (Dress? Robe?) and violet hair. Nice dye job too...
In fact...
"Say, do you...Uh, do you know what the Order of the Stick is?"
The person in front of her looked up sharply. "We are well known here?"
Coffee started to laugh. "Look, I know you must have won for life with that Vaarusvius cosplay, but we're in the library; you can drop the act now."
The person looked at Coffee. "Cosplay? What does that term mean? I am Vaarsuvius, evoker and bender of reality itself!"
At this point Coffee was strongly considering the idea of going home and going to sleep and making a special appointment with the doctor tomorrow.
"You do not believe me?" Coffee shook her head as the person continued. "Well then. Prestidigitation!"
Coffee looked down and jumped back in shock. Her previously white sneakers had just turned pink. "So...You're...VAARSUVIUS?! ...But how?"
"If I told you, you would go mad from attempting to understand."
Coffee smirked. "Try me," she said.
Coffee stopped Vaarsuvius half-way through the elf's (Wow...She actually said "Elf". This day...) explanation. "Okay, okay. I think I understood half of that."
Vaarsuvius glanced at Coffee curiously. "Really? ...Not bad for one untrained in the arcane arts."
There was an awkward silence for a moment. Then Coffee spoke up "Uh...Listen...So...You can violate the laws of Physics on a regular basis"
Vaarsuvius smiled. "The laws of physics bow to a master wizard."
Coffee stared at Vaarsuvius for a moment, then fell on her knees and begged, "Please! Teach me to be a wizard! Even if I can only manage cantrips, PLEASE TEACH ME!!!"
V looked at Coffee. "...You are not unintelligent, and I have nothing better to do. I may be able to show you the basics, but it takes years, nay, decades of study."
"I'm devoted! I'm devoted!"
V looked at Coffee curiously. She reminded the elf of an intelligent Elan. V sighed. "Well, we should try this outside."
===
Once outside, Coffee listened to V's lecture as shes twisted and played with the beaded headband in her pocketbook, a nervous habit of hers. V looked back and swallowed as the elf noticed Coffee unconsciously twisting the headband around her fingers in oddly intricate patterns. Such deft fingers...
"...Coffee?" the elf asked. "There is a matter of payment."
"Oh, oh okay." Coffee rummaged through her purse. "Uhm, I only have $40 with me. Unless you'd like food? Or--"
"No no no. I have a simple request." V blushed slightly and indicated hir pointed ears. "As you may have already surmised, these get especially itchy in hot and cold weather. Furthermore, I am unable to reach all the troublesome spots. If it is not too much to ask...Would you please reach them for me?"
That was it? Coffee smiled. "Like a dog, you mean?"
"...In a way, yes."
It was just a scratch behind the ears...Right? Coffee nodded. "Okay."
Poor Coffee forgot about the ears!Last edited by CoffeeIncluded; 2010-01-18 at 08:03 AM.
My webcomic!
Currently DMing:
Tales of Aequar: Runite's Rise IC
OOC Map
Playing Natalia Bolts,Jadeite Nocrius, and Soren Lowell
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2010-01-18, 09:20 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2008
- Location
- South Africa
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings VI - We've Finally Stooped to Shipping Ourselves
I am the new Vaarsuvius. Pathetic love life in canon, village bike in fanon. Seriously though, you must remember that they aren’t canon to each other, it’s an honour to the thread title, it’s a challenge to write someone woefully inexperienced (AKA Me) in a romantic situation (there’s also the whole trying to work out what I’d do in those situations. For fictional characters I can just decide. For myself, I’m less sure, though I tend to go with the option that is better for my plot) and I didn’t even get to enjoy my time with Tsukiko. (Also, it kind of fits with the fact that my real-life name means “beloved”.)
Okay, this one takes place during the early days of The Order of the Scribble, before Lirian and Dorukan got together. Me/Lirian:
Spoiler“I cannot allow you to seal the rift.” said the cloaked figure to The Order of the Scribble, “It allows me to use my magic across worlds. Let me demonstrate. George’s Summon Human from an Alternative Prime Material Plane.” With that a human in shorts and a T-shirt appeared and collapsed on the floor.
After defeating George, the wizard and sealing the rift, The Order looked at the human, who was still unconscious. “I should handle this.” said Lirian, “Cure light wounds.” The man awoke and stared at Lirian. “Where…where am I?” he asked, “You’re…you’re an elf!”
“Yes.” she said, “You were magically transported from another world. I am Lirian. Who are you?”
“You can call me Sereg.” he answered, “How do I get home?” Lirian looked at Sereg and thought to herself how much she liked human nerds as this one obviously was. “I have a spell that should work,” she began slowly, “but it requires us to sleep together.”
“What?!” yelled Sereg, “Are you serious?”
“Of course,” said Lirian, “I am a druid. This will allow me to celebrate nature and restore my powers necessary to help you.”
“Alright.” sighed Sereg.
After sending him off Serini walked up to Lirian and asked, “You didn’t actually have to sleep with him did you?”
“Of course not.” answered Lirian”
Okay, I haven’t read SoD yet, so Lirian is likely way out of character, but oh well.
Me/Sabine:
SpoilerSabine landed before Lee. “You called, sir?” she asked.
“Yes,” answered Lee, “There’s a human that we want you to knock off. Shouldn’t be too difficult as he’s pretty low level.”
Sereg continued his walk, oblivious to the danger that he was in. “Hi, there!” called a woman, “Would you mind coming over here a second?”
“Er…Ok.” said Sereg cautiously. He did, after all, live in a dangerous country. When he had walked right up to her, she grabbed him and pressed her lips against his.
“That was almost too easy.” said Sabine, staring down at Sereg’s corpse, he had hardly any levels to drain.
Writing yourself is actually quite difficult. Oh well, I suppose I’ve paid enough homage to the thread title (I’m running circles around the rest of you). I’ll quit with the bad self-insert fan-fiction for now.
Anyway, it seems that Sgeo hasn’t updated the roller yet but my dice spat out this combination:
Hobgoblin General x (Roy’s Sword x Roy’s Archon) Damsel/dude in distress:
Spoiler“Mwahahaha” laughed the hobgoblin general as he dangled Roy’s sword over the pool of boiling lava. “Soon you will have melted to nothing!”
“Oh no!” cried Roy’s Archon, “Roy needs his sword to defeat Xykon! I have to save it!”
*Insert Superman theme song*
Roy’s Archon flew at the hobgoblin general’s eyes. “Take that, you minion of evil!” he cried. “Aaaaaaargh!” screamed the hobgoblin general and he fell backwards and dropped the sword. “You…you’re so bright and sparkly and beautiful.” said the hobgoblin general, “I have seen the error of my ways. Let’s kiss and make up.” He then hugged the sword and the archon to his chest and began kissing them.
Ok, so I went for another really bad kind of fan-fiction.
Incidentally, I showed a friend and colleague, whom I introduced to Oots and mentioned this thread to, the Coffee/V fic. He laughed and said that he had to check out the rest of the thread once he’s caught up with the comic. (He’s only read up to the end of “Don’t Split the Party”).The Good Cat Mistress shall show mercy to her servants
My Homebrew
SpoilerRace
Wiggles
Monsters
Cold iron dragon
Argent dragon
Base Class
Glowherd
Silly stuff
Acid classes (as inspired by DracoDei)
Keeper of the Fourth Gate (PrC)
Competitions
Afroakuma's Giantitp Villain Competition
Other
Sereg's Alternative Pronunciation Guide System
Competitions that I've Currently Entered: Lord Gareth's The Alter of Naught Base Class Challenge
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2010-01-18, 09:44 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2009
- Location
- Where the dragons are
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings VI - We've Finally Stooped to Shipping Ourselves
...
You have my permission to ship me.
Bonus points if it's with the ABD
*Puts up traps in my room in case anyone sneaks in without my permission. EVIL traps*
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2010-01-18, 10:16 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2007
- Location
- Texas...for now
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings VI - We've Finally Stooped to Shipping Ourselves
[/sarcasm]
FAQ is not RAW!Avatar by the incredible CrimsonAngel.
Saph:It's surprising how many problems can be solved by one druid spell combined with enough aggression.
I play primarily 3.5 D&D. Most of my advice will be based off of this. If my advice doesn't apply, specify a version in your post.
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2010-01-18, 10:26 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2009
- Location
- Where the dragons are
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings VI - We've Finally Stooped to Shipping Ourselves
You do realize that i eat gnomes right?
I dare you to try it *Licks mouth*
And in case you forgot, i'm an epic sorceror, 25 class levels on top of what i already get for being a dragon.
*Puts invisible magic snares all over the floor that will only trigger on non-dragons*
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2010-01-18, 10:26 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2008
- Location
- Scotland
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings VI - We've Finally Stooped to Shipping Ourselves
Avatar by me...yup that's how good my drawing is. As in not very good.
Crack-Pairings, Not Dead Just Moved. Someone Hasn't Been Looking In The Right Places.
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2010-01-18, 10:35 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2009
Re: Crack Pairings VI - We've Finally Stooped to Shipping Ourselves
Actually, I was implying an entirely different direction, but, now that you've brought up that possibility... Hmm... *schemes*
Liked the update, Yiuel.
Hate to be a critic, but isn't that rather out of character for her? Seriously though, cute fic.
Your latest stories are interesting, Sereg, and I have to admit that the mental image of an evil hobgoblin dangling a helpless sword over lava and a ball of light declaring "I'll save you!" made me giggle a lot. I kept wanting to give the hobgoblin the classic villainous handlebar mustache, and I could definitely hear the Superman music.That's what she said.Susan Sto Helit avatar by Felyndiira.
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2010-01-18, 10:49 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2007
- Location
- Texas...for now
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings VI - We've Finally Stooped to Shipping Ourselves
I know you eat gnomes, but it would still disturb you, and would eliminate one more dirty gnome from the world.
And in case you forgot, i'm an epic sorceror, 25 class levels on top of what i already get for being a dragon.
*Puts invisible magic snares all over the floor that will only trigger on non-dragons*[/sarcasm]
FAQ is not RAW!Avatar by the incredible CrimsonAngel.
Saph:It's surprising how many problems can be solved by one druid spell combined with enough aggression.
I play primarily 3.5 D&D. Most of my advice will be based off of this. If my advice doesn't apply, specify a version in your post.
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2010-01-18, 10:56 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2009
- Location
- The Abyss (Kiev Ukrain)
- Gender
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2010-01-18, 11:28 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2009
- Location
- New York
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings VI - We've Finally Stooped to Shipping Ourselves
My webcomic!
Currently DMing:
Tales of Aequar: Runite's Rise IC
OOC Map
Playing Natalia Bolts,Jadeite Nocrius, and Soren Lowell
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2010-01-18, 11:34 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2007
- Location
- Texas...for now
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings VI - We've Finally Stooped to Shipping Ourselves
[/sarcasm]
FAQ is not RAW!Avatar by the incredible CrimsonAngel.
Saph:It's surprising how many problems can be solved by one druid spell combined with enough aggression.
I play primarily 3.5 D&D. Most of my advice will be based off of this. If my advice doesn't apply, specify a version in your post.
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2010-01-18, 11:37 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
- Location
- Gothenburg, Sweden
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Re: Crack Pairings VI - We've Finally Stooped to Shipping Ourselves
Avatar by CoffeeIncluded
Oooh, and that's a bad miss.
“Don't exercise your freedom of speech until you have exercised your freedom of thought.”
― Tim Fargo
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2010-01-18, 11:37 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2009
- Location
- New York
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings VI - We've Finally Stooped to Shipping Ourselves
My webcomic!
Currently DMing:
Tales of Aequar: Runite's Rise IC
OOC Map
Playing Natalia Bolts,Jadeite Nocrius, and Soren Lowell
-
2010-01-18, 11:39 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2009
- Location
- Somewhere..no wait, what?
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings VI - We've Finally Stooped to Shipping Ourselves
Durkon x Tree?
How long do you want it to be? Will a few sentences suffice, or do you want at least a paragraph? Any story mechanics or plot points I should use?
I don't speak no fancy englush.
Anyway, it doesn't matter. They pay me to think of ideas, not to impliment them. I leave the rest up to the writer's creativity.Last edited by PJ the Epic; 2010-01-18 at 11:40 AM.
Enjoy the little things in life, for one day you'll look back and realize they were big things.~Kurt Vonnegut
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2010-01-18, 11:40 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2009
- Location
- New York
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings VI - We've Finally Stooped to Shipping Ourselves
My webcomic!
Currently DMing:
Tales of Aequar: Runite's Rise IC
OOC Map
Playing Natalia Bolts,Jadeite Nocrius, and Soren Lowell
-
2010-01-18, 11:43 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2007
- Location
- Texas...for now
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings VI - We've Finally Stooped to Shipping Ourselves
[/sarcasm]
FAQ is not RAW!Avatar by the incredible CrimsonAngel.
Saph:It's surprising how many problems can be solved by one druid spell combined with enough aggression.
I play primarily 3.5 D&D. Most of my advice will be based off of this. If my advice doesn't apply, specify a version in your post.
-
2010-01-18, 11:46 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2009
- Location
- New York
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings VI - We've Finally Stooped to Shipping Ourselves
My webcomic!
Currently DMing:
Tales of Aequar: Runite's Rise IC
OOC Map
Playing Natalia Bolts,Jadeite Nocrius, and Soren Lowell
-
2010-01-18, 11:50 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2009
Re: Crack Pairings VI - We've Finally Stooped to Shipping Ourselves
I suppose you have a point. Hm, I just realized that since the ears thing technically isn't cannon yet, one of the thoughts that might go through my head in the situation might be, "At last we can find out for sure!" Heck, it would be my duty as a CrackFiccer to test the long-running theory!
I feel like I should take a crack at self-shipping before I get on with When in Rome and Hinjo x Tsukiko, but I'm not sure who the (un)lucky OotS character should be...
You getting yourself a new avi, Coffee?That's what she said.Susan Sto Helit avatar by Felyndiira.
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2010-01-18, 11:53 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
- Location
- Gothenburg, Sweden
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings VI - We've Finally Stooped to Shipping Ourselves
Avatar by CoffeeIncluded
Oooh, and that's a bad miss.
“Don't exercise your freedom of speech until you have exercised your freedom of thought.”
― Tim Fargo
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2010-01-18, 11:55 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2009
- Location
- New York
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings VI - We've Finally Stooped to Shipping Ourselves
My webcomic!
Currently DMing:
Tales of Aequar: Runite's Rise IC
OOC Map
Playing Natalia Bolts,Jadeite Nocrius, and Soren Lowell
-
2010-01-18, 12:03 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
- Location
- Gothenburg, Sweden
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings VI - We've Finally Stooped to Shipping Ourselves
Avatar by CoffeeIncluded
Oooh, and that's a bad miss.
“Don't exercise your freedom of speech until you have exercised your freedom of thought.”
― Tim Fargo
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2010-01-18, 12:08 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2006
- Location
- England
Re: Crack Pairings VI - We've Finally Stooped to Shipping Ourselves
This post may contain sarcasm.
DeviantArt
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2010-01-18, 12:10 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2009
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2010-01-18, 12:10 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2009
- Location
- New York
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Re: Crack Pairings VI - We've Finally Stooped to Shipping Ourselves
Last edited by CoffeeIncluded; 2010-01-18 at 12:11 PM.
My webcomic!
Currently DMing:
Tales of Aequar: Runite's Rise IC
OOC Map
Playing Natalia Bolts,Jadeite Nocrius, and Soren Lowell
-
2010-01-18, 12:11 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
- Location
- Gothenburg, Sweden
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings VI - We've Finally Stooped to Shipping Ourselves
Avatar by CoffeeIncluded
Oooh, and that's a bad miss.
“Don't exercise your freedom of speech until you have exercised your freedom of thought.”
― Tim Fargo
-
2010-01-18, 12:12 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2009
- Location
- New York
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings VI - We've Finally Stooped to Shipping Ourselves
My webcomic!
Currently DMing:
Tales of Aequar: Runite's Rise IC
OOC Map
Playing Natalia Bolts,Jadeite Nocrius, and Soren Lowell
-
2010-01-18, 12:21 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
- Location
- Gothenburg, Sweden
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings VI - We've Finally Stooped to Shipping Ourselves
The video documentation is, but the other stuff isn't. So, did Coffee get any pictures? Did they seek out some dark, secluded spot where they could be alone? Inquiring minds want to know. And what do you think about my new signature?
Last edited by Asta Kask; 2010-01-18 at 12:21 PM.
Avatar by CoffeeIncluded
Oooh, and that's a bad miss.
“Don't exercise your freedom of speech until you have exercised your freedom of thought.”
― Tim Fargo
-
2010-01-18, 12:23 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2009
- Location
- New York
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings VI - We've Finally Stooped to Shipping Ourselves
Last edited by CoffeeIncluded; 2010-01-18 at 12:24 PM.
My webcomic!
Currently DMing:
Tales of Aequar: Runite's Rise IC
OOC Map
Playing Natalia Bolts,Jadeite Nocrius, and Soren Lowell
-
2010-01-18, 12:25 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2006
- Location
- England
Re: Crack Pairings VI - We've Finally Stooped to Shipping Ourselves
Last edited by Zanaril; 2010-01-18 at 12:26 PM.
This post may contain sarcasm.
DeviantArt
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2010-01-18, 12:26 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2009
- Location
- New York
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings VI - We've Finally Stooped to Shipping Ourselves
My webcomic!
Currently DMing:
Tales of Aequar: Runite's Rise IC
OOC Map
Playing Natalia Bolts,Jadeite Nocrius, and Soren Lowell