Crack Pairings VI - We've Finally Stooped to Shipping Ourselves

[The Odor]

I was hoping for more feedback, but oh well. Here is the next chapter if anyone cares. (Still to short. I need to work on drawing out my pairings a bit)

Spoiler

Show

Zz’dtri stayed floating in the air, nearly twenty feet above the rocky island. Almost seconds after he had made his presence known to Vaarsuvius she summoned power from within her, releasing it in a great gout of flame. Zz’dtri stayed motionless, but mumbled something Vaarsuvius could not understand. When the flames died away, a small globe of green magic pulsed around the dark elf. Still smiling he gently flew down level with the elf, talking calmly. “Still using the same fire, Vaarsuvius? I would have expected something a little more, inventive…”

He kept coming forward, as Vaarsuvius took steps back trying to open the gap between them. Before she could react, he cast a spell quickly, flying from his hands; “Hold person.” Caught by surprise, Vaarsuvius felt her strength drain away, leaving her standing with an startled expression on her pointed face. The Drow circled the elf, studying her. Finally he landed in front of her. Murmuring softly, Zz’dtri continued to speak, his tone turning from angered to rage. “I was placed in a cell. I was starved, and torn from the magic that had become such an important part of my life, like it has to you. I treated horribly directly because of you. You and your damned method of finding loopholes, some horrible problem every person around you except for your own damned self.”

By the end of his speech Zz’dtri was shaking with anger, but as soon as he had become angered he was calm again, speaking in his normal whispered state. Vaarsuvius felt strength flow back into her. Once the spell the Drow had cast she planned to fight back with every ounce of strength she had. “I could use a spell to stop his own, or impair his movement. Forcecage may wo-” Her thoughts where cut short when the dark elf grabbed her throat. Her mind was blank, she couldn’t breath. Her only intent was to last on what little air she had.

With his one hand Zz’dtri held Vaarsuvius. His other stayed to one of the scimitars on his back. He pulled it form the sheath, turning the tip to Vaarsuvius’s thin neck, just close enough to draw a thin line of blood. “I would have expected you to have shrugged off the spell by now, elf. I suppose it doesn’t matter. It fills you with a power, doesn’t it? Being able to kill your worst enemy any time you choose?” He gave a soft laugh, and continued, “But I’m not going to kill you…” He released Vaarsuvius, who dropped to her knees, gasping in air. Finally she spoke.

“Why…not?” Zz’dtri stared down at her, no mercy in his eyes. “I have something better in store for you. But for now, take a nap.” He swung the scimitar down, landing a heavy blow on Vaarsuvius’s head, who crumpled to the ground with a groan. Zz’dtri could only grin wickedly. Soon the dragon would arrive.

It's short, but I hope peoples enjoy it. Critisism is accepted, but don't ask abot the characters being in-character. I already know I botched that.

(Closak, I have a feeling you'll enjoy the next one more. It involves a certain "friend" of yours.)

On-topic with the current discussion, what OOTS school DOESN'T have sound-proof practice rooms, and how many good pairings will use them as a plot decive? (not that its bad or anything...)

*Reads it ten times over*... *reads it again* That is awesome.

ummm...No. that is not what I intended. Zz'dtri only knows what the dragon is coming to do. The ABDhas no knowledge of Zz'dtri. I haven't stooped to writting that, I only read it...

Nehoooo....

[Closak]

You know, the moment you mentioned the ABD i got hard...If you know what i mean


...What? Is it really so bad that i'm lusting for a dragon?

[The Odor]

You know, the moment you mentioned the ABD i got hard...If you know what i mean


...What? Is it really so bad that i'm lusting for a dragon?

That is... odd. I won't be writing in awhile. I got sneak attacked by english homework.

[Closak]

What's so odd about it?

Dragons are hot, in more ways than one.
Also, half-dragons

[Sereg]

Alright here is something else that I said I might do:

Spoiler

Show

As I sat at my desk working on the ritual, there was a knock on the door. “I’m rather busy working at the moment.” I said, “Who is it?”
“So like you to show such dedication.” came Xykon’s voice, “May I come in?”
“Of course.” I answered, “My room is your room.” He stepped inside and his robe billowed in the wind revealing his physique. “I wanted to let you know how much I appreciate you.” he said. “I was hoping that there was a way that I could make you happier. I care for you.”
“Oh Xykon,” I sighed, “you don’t have to do anything.”
“But I want to,” he protested “you see Tsukiko, I love you. You’re the only minion for me.”
“Oh Xykon!” I said blushing.
“Please tell me that you feel the same way.” he begged, “You give my undeath meaning. I want to spend the rest of it making you happy.”
“Of course I feel the same way.” I said.
“Then let us make sweet love for the rest of the night.” he said.

Tsukiko lifted her pen from the paper. “Someday…” she sighed smiling.

By the way, I see that I signed up to FF.net years ago. I guess it’s time I actually started using my account.

Oh, and did you guys not see my Valentine’s Day suggestion, or was it just that bad?

And you guys discussing homework makes me feel old.

[Zanaril]

Actually, now that I have an outlet at FF where none of the playground's younger members can stumble on it, once the story picks up speed (read: gets further in and rating goes up) and I stop posting it here, I plan on taking full advantage of it to show off the real teenage awkwardness. (I'm a little nervous about being able to pull off the scene, but screw it, nothing ventured, nothing gained, right?)

If you can pull it off even halfway believably and tastefully, you'll have transcended the majority of fanfic writers (and some published writers ). Although I'm still wary of the dreaded IKEA Erotica. Almost as much as IKEA stores themselves. Seriously, you could get lost in those places and it would be days before you worked out which wardrobe was actually the door out of the display area.

What I'm more interested in seeing how they'd even get to that stage; right now there doesn't seem much room for the beginnings of romance.


Why do I also get the feeling that the story's rating is initially going to go up for violence, rather than anything sexual?

So...V/Zz'Drti/ABD threesome then?

...cant unread... And I can't get the mental images out of my head.

I'm not even sure whether or not I want them out of my head...

[The Odor]

...cant unread... And I can't get the mental images out of my head.

I'm not even sure whether or not I want them out of my head...

*Waves hand in a star wars jedi mind trick move* No you dont.

[Zanaril]

*Waves hand in a star wars jedi mind trick move* No you dont.

I have my tin-foil hat on, you know.

[The Odor]

I have my tin-foil hat on, you know.

My plan has been ruined.

[Water-Smurf]

...*Swallows*

Just remember, if you're actually going to take the plunge and write a sex scene, then please make it anatomically possible.

Though I'm sure I know you won't have any trouble with that.

Don't worry. I'm not in it for titillation. I doubt I'm even going to write out the actual 'doing the deed'--probably just the day-to-day build up. Few teenagers go from kissing to sex, or at least few that I know. Most have a while of making out, then maybe after a bit there's some touching. The progress around the bases can take months, unlike for adults. And teenagers dealing with their first 'Holy crap she/he's letting me touch [insert intimate area of body here]' moment is immensely amusing to imagine and write about.

Scratch that. I give them two days.

Two hours.

But they still can. You can read M stories without even registering and there's not exactly that much OotS fanfiction up there...

Well, it would be a little hard for them to just 'stumble onto' my stories if they're on FF under the M section, considering how that site works and considering the fact that I have no intention of mentioning on these boards that I updated. They'd have to actively look for them, and if they're willing to go through that trouble, then they can look at an array of things that are more inappropriate than my stories. I feel less guilty about tweens getting what they asked for than I do about a kid clicking a spoiler that contains something they didn't want to see.

I'm very curious, but Google comes up with a wacky assortment of random things when I try "dumped on the rooster" and Google advanced search just points me back to the Crack Pairings thread or no where at all if I try variations of the phrase. Can I get a hint?

Here. There's one meaning to it that will seem obvious. I didn't pick it for the obvious meaning.

Anyway, I enjoyed this chapter and am anxious to see the next installment, though, I must confess, uncharacteristically, I'm looking forward to learning more about the setting than I am to seeing more of the pairing, not that I'll ever be tired of the pairing!

Don't worry, I love writing in this world. :> It's so delicious to let out details little by little.

Although, I do have a question; I assumed that Doppel is Belkar since I had matched up everyone else's names, but why is that his codename?

No, Belkar is Halfling. Doppel is short for Doppelganger. Guess who it is?

Well, now I have to write it. Thank you oh-so-much. A few things I'd like to confirm given that you're far more likely to read this than the Giant:
Any objection to me setting it during Pasithea's Messenger? It's either that or AU, and an AU fanfic about an already AU character and a dead canon one would be a stretch.
Anything you don't want to see done to your character? I expect this to be...dark, but sweet, hopefully.

I don't mind if it's during Pasithea's Messenger, or any other of my stories, and as long as Tia's in character, whatever you do to her can't be worse than what I do. I'm really excited to see it!

Frantic, as when separated from Haley and trying to get in touch but worse, oh so much worse. Possible descent into madness as he gets worse. He's been holding her up for so long now (well it seems like a long time) and the loss of him could unleash her neuroses especially if still in dungeon.

How would Reddy act, then? He would be able to see what was happening to V easily, but if he couldn't help himself, there wouldn't be much he could do for her...

If you can pull it off even halfway believably and tastefully, you'll have transcended the majority of fanfic writers (and some published writers ). Although I'm still wary of the dreaded IKEA Erotica.

I doubt that I'm even going to write about the actual sex act, mostly because I have no experience in that area and it's difficult writing about stuff you don't have experience in. And I'm not interested in seeing my work turn into another Internet porno--any physical intimacy scenes between those two in DotR will be meant to either portray their feelings for one another or their awkwardness/fear. They're teenagers. They're scared of this stuff.

What I'm more interested in seeing how they'd even get to that stage; right now there doesn't seem much room for the beginnings of romance.

They have natural chemistry that I just need to re-tap into, but speaking of which, this may provoke more questions.

How do you think they could get the romantic ball rolling?

Why do I also get the feeling that the story's rating is initially going to go up for violence, rather than anything sexual?

Eh, you're probably right.

[Zanaril]

And teenagers dealing with their first 'Holy crap she/he's letting me touch [insert intimate area of body here]' moment is immensely amusing to imagine and write about.

See? You can write comedy!

Two hours.

Minutes.

Actually...


...*returns, holding an empty love-potion bottle*

It was two seconds.

They're teenagers. They're scared of this stuff.

And yet at the same time fascinated with it. Just like many people with this thread...

They have natural chemistry that I just need to re-tap into, but speaking of which, this may provoke more questions.

How do you think they could get the romantic ball rolling?

Some kind of midnight study session (or any other innocent reason for them both to be out of bed after lights-out) that ends with them running from the teachers/monitors, to avoid getting caught.

Then see how long it takes for them to realize that they'll be in even more trouble if they get caught together. If they end up having to hide together in a small space, they'd probably lampshade it.

Other than that, some friendly rivalry could give things a kick-start.

“It’s an elf, Brother. You won’t know if it’s a girl or a guy until you see it without clothes.”

Crim stared thoughtfully at the ground, unable to shake the feeling that he had indeed seen that. That he knew that the elf was a woman.

The feeling faded and he shrugged it off.

New theory: they've been kidnapped from some time in the other V/Reddy fic and memory-wiped.

Or, they're still in Girard's dungeon and Reddy's hallucinating this whole thing.

...yeah, I have no idea really.

[Lubirio]

I don't seem to understand the correlation between teenagers and being scared.
Must. Not. Say. I'm 16...
Though I think the midnight study thing is a good one, mind telling me what FF stands for in FF.net?

[Zanaril]

I don't seem to understand the correlation between teenagers and being scared.
Must. Not. Say. I'm 16...

Because the previous decade or so that we've known of sex, we've also been aware that it's something adults are normally unwilling to discuss for whatever reason. And what we hear from older children/teenages tends to be misinformation. Schools (at least where I live) also seem rather bad at providing Sex Ed classes; I vaguely remember a bunch of giggling eleven-year-olds and some outdated videos.

That was what you meant, right?

And why mustn't you say you're 16?

Though I think the midnight study thing is a good one, mind telling me what FF stands for in FF.net?

Fanfiction.

[Closak]

Well, i'm out for today.

...*Goes of to play with the ABD*

*Get's attacked by DA MILITARY*

Me: AHHHH!!!
Military guy: LULZ IT'S A DWAGON SHOOT IT LUL!!!11!one!!1oneone!

[half-halfling]

"Miko's Heart, Beyond Lawful Good" was great. It's both emotional and funny (especially "and I'm Rich Burew").

And teenagers dealing with their first 'Holy crap she/he's letting me touch [insert intimate area of body here]' moment is immensely amusing to imagine and write about.

Brings back memories :).

[Taekwondodo]

[spoiler]The fic in question is a Final Fantasy 7 Self-Insert fic.
And despite most self-inserts being horrible this one is actually quite good, lots of humor to.
Best damn fanfic i ever read.

I want to know what it's called now... I'm not looking through 29,901 fics to find it!

New Miko's heart was v. good, well done NemoUtopia.

Dark_Stryke: you ever planning on writing more It All Started With a Kiss?

Water-Smurf: still in character even if transplanted to a new setting. Getting the "kidnapped" vibe same as Zanaril.

How would Reddy act, then? He would be able to see what was happening to V easily, but if he couldn't help himself, there wouldn't be much he could do for her...

As you said there wouldn't be anything he could do. If illness he would still try and help her even as he made her worse. Actually, depending on how far along this was in the story he could hate himself for hurting her, even if it wasn't his fault.

Cracklord hasn't been here in ages has he? I miss his Belkar torture...

[Zanaril]

Cracklord hasn't been here in ages has he? I miss his Belkar torture...

I think he said he couldn't bring himself to have Belkar some back to life this time. Now Belkar's nothing but a mindless, screaming, eternally tortured soul in a pile of other mindless, screaming, eternally tortured souls.

Also Cracklord got a job or something. Like, in real life.

As you said there wouldn't be anything he could do. If illness he would still try and help her even as he made her worse. Actually, depending on how far along this was in the story he could hate himself for hurting her, even if it wasn't his fault.

Have to agree here. As self-disciplined as Reddy may be, if V was being tortured I don't think he would initially be able to stop himself from reacting. In the scenario you described of V being hurt more if Reddy tried to help, Reddy probably would try to do something despite the warnings, although he wouldn't need reminding a second time after V suffered for it.

All this speculation in making me ravenous for more COP.

[Taekwondodo]

I think he said he couldn't bring himself to have Belkar some back to life this time. Now Belkar's nothing but a mindless, screaming, eternally tortured soul in a pile of other mindless, screaming, eternally tortured souls.

Also Cracklord got a job or something. Like, in real life.



Have to agree here. As self-disciplined as Reddy may be, if V was being tortured I don't think he would initially be able to stop himself from reacting. In the scenario you described of V being hurt more if Reddy tried to help, Reddy probably would try to do something despite the warnings, although he wouldn't need reminding a second time after V suffered for it.

All this speculation in making me ravenous for more COP.

What is this Real Life you speak of?

Asking for reactions just makes me want to read the story more.
What do we want?
More COP!
When do we want it?
When it's convenient to you!

...What?

[Zanaril]

What is this Real Life you speak of?

I'm not sure. Maybe some type of hell? Poor Cracklord.

Asking for reactions just makes me want to read the story more.

And discussing it is the next best thing!

[Asta Kask]

Because the previous decade or so that we've known of sex, we've also been aware that it's something adults are normally unwilling to discuss for whatever reason. And what we hear from older children/teenages tends to be misinformation. Schools (at least where I live) also seem rather bad at providing Sex Ed classes; I vaguely remember a bunch of giggling eleven-year-olds and some outdated videos.

We mainly concerned ourselves with contraceptives. Our teacher said she didn't want to take away the joy of discovery... (actually, she did talk about the mechanics as well.)

And there's always the scene from Meaning of Life...

[Nathander]

Hey half-halfling! It's great to see you back! Hope we get the chance to see more of your fanart soon.

What is this Real Life you speak of?

It airs Thursday nights on MTV, 8 PM eastern/central time.
I have no clue if this is actually still the time slot for the Real World, or if the Real World even shows anymore.

[CoffeeIncluded]

Don't worry. I'm not in it for titillation. I doubt I'm even going to write out the actual 'doing the deed'--probably just the day-to-day build up. Few teenagers go from kissing to sex, or at least few that I know. Most have a while of making out, then maybe after a bit there's some touching. The progress around the bases can take months, unlike for adults. And teenagers dealing with their first 'Holy crap she/he's letting me touch [insert intimate area of body here]' moment is immensely amusing to imagine and write about.

I'm just saying that if you're gonna do it, do it right. Otherwise it's a horrifying eldritch abomination!

So, does anyone else have ideas for the halfie in this comic?

And there's always the scene from Meaning of Life...

Oh God. Our health teacher (Who was a real bastard) thought it would be funny to show that scene over and over in slow motion. After lunch.

[Zanaril]

Oh God. Our health teacher (Who was a real bastard) thought it would be funny to show that scene over and over in slow motion. After lunch.

I'm not familiar with whatever that is. What makes it so horrifying?

[CoffeeIncluded]

I'm not familiar with whatever that is. What makes it so horrifying?

A screaming birth scene. Again and again and again.

[Zanaril]

A screaming birth scene. Again and again and again.

Yes, I can see why that wouldn't be something you'd want to watch after lunch.

Or pretty much any other time it was unnecessary.

[CoffeeIncluded]

Yes, I can see why that wouldn't be something you'd want to watch after lunch.

Or pretty much any other time it was unnecessary.

He was laughing.

So, what do you think we could do with the halfie in the comic update?

Me, I have to go and study for a history quiz and a latin test.

[Zanaril]

He was laughing.

So, what do you think we could do with the halfie in the comic update?

Me, I have to go and study for a history quiz and a latin test.

The half-goblin half-hobgoblin?

Genderswitched Redcloak x The entire hobgoblin army. Team-building exercise.

Then some kind of magic to account for the quick growth.

[CoffeeIncluded]

The half-goblin half-hobgoblin?

Genderswitched Redcloak x The entire hobgoblin army. Team-building exercise.

Then some kind of magic to account for the quick growth.

Ah, perfect.

Uggh, and here comes another mandatory health class next week...

[Zanaril]

Water-Smurf: still in character even if transplanted to a new setting. Getting the "kidnapped" vibe same as Zanaril.

I think the blurb from FF.net supports this idea as well:

They were just normal teenagers at a normal reform boarding school. Sure, the potentially fatal punishments were weird, but okay. Then a familiar stranger came. Now they all have to ask themselves if they want to see what they left behind.

Or maybe not kidnapped, but they moved voluntarily? With the amnesia being for their protection? That would certainly work with them all being on the run from something and therefore using code names.

[CoffeeIncluded]

Or maybe not kidnapped, but they moved voluntarily? With the amnesia being for their protection? That would certainly work with them all being on the run from something and therefore using code names.

So some sort of witness protection program?

What if they were eaten by the snarl and this is some sort of limbo?