Computer

[Cicciograna]

I was thinking, just for fun, how could we make something akin to a personal computer.
The base for it all should be a Moigno, a creature from Mechanus (first seen in Planes of Law, from Planescape setting), peculiar for having a "definite knack" for mathematics, as it's a creature whose only purpose in life is to perform infinite calculations to reach the exact value of pi: one of them could work as a CPU (or even more, if you like quad-cores) and GPU, as it could handle without any problem all the calculations required for a computer to work.

The creature should be dominated or otherwise controlled, as it won't collaborate of its volition, instead fleeing by teleport or attacking the user: more, the user has to find a way to bypass the particular communication method of the moigno (it communicates by mathematical expressions), so the use of a permanencied version of Tongues, or some other sort of language-bypassing is suggested.

Since we have a CPU, we need now multimedia, and this is where Illusions come handy: the * Image spell list makes wonders to provide the user with full color video and high fidelity sound! The problem here is that it should be the moigno to adjust the images projected, so we need a moigno with at least the 5th level of Wizard to cast the Major image spell (and concentrating to keep it active without interfering with its calculations should be easy for the creature...).

While what we have at hand for now is sufficient to satisfy everyone's need for CAD programs, image manipulation and word processing (and a printer with a simple cantrip to operate it would be wonderful...), we need one of the most important features of a PC: Internet! As Internet is a general repository of knowledge, it seems obvious for our moigno to take levels not in Wizard, but in Bard, the highest the better: do you need informations about the Dwarf Kingdom of Beerland? Connect to Mooigle and make a Bardic Lore check! Want to have some fun with some nice video? Go to MoigTube and watch some bardic performance on your Major image flat screen! Heck, we could even have porn, if we instructed the moigno about human anatomy!
And to add some Mooigle Oerth, some uses of Scrying or Clairsentience to have a visual image of your area from above should do the trick!

I'm open to suggestions on how to improve this device!

[Optimystik]

There was a thread on using the Commoner Railgun to create processors/the internet, IIRC. Adapt that to the Zombie Railgun and you'll have your own computer in seconds.

[Cicciograna]

Pardon my ignorance, but what is the Commoner/Zombie Railgun?

[Lysander]

Here's a simple method. Create an intelligent magic item with 18 INT, 10 knowledge ranks in any fields you wish, decipher script 10 ranks, the power to use Mage Hand at will, Minor Image/1 day, and give it parchment and pens to write down any information it can't remember. It can do pretty much anything a computer can. Perform mathematical calculations, look up information, take dictation, memorize and record data, copy documents, and provide visual displays and 3D modeling.

[MickJay]

You line up people/zombies close to each other, each of them readies an action, then the first one in line passes an object to the one next to it, the second to third, and so on. Because each participant has the action readied, the object can pass any distance within a single round (six seconds), the distance is limited only by the length of the "chain". As the last person "drops" the object, it would, according to laws of physics, "shoot" at high speed forward (a 6 mile long chain would effectively speed up the object to 1 mile/s).

[Cicciograna]

@Mickjay: while this trick would work by RAW, I don't think any DM would allow it.

@Lysander: Pardon me, but my version of computer seems way more simple and cheap...

[Lysander]

You could link several Moignos with Telepathic Bond to replicate networked computers.

[Flickerdart]

Didn't someone cook up a program with Craft Contingent Spell?
The only thing you need for a computer is an expansive series of switches and some manner of toggling them. You have infinite space to work with this - just stuff your system into a demiplane and Gate when you want to interface with it - but the Commoner Net can only produce a result every 6 seconds, at best, and that's kinda awful.