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    Default D&D Philosophy One-Liners

    I was sitting in class the other day, the prof talking about Galileo and Hobbes, and he summed up Hobbes thoughts on civil government with the quip: "Rocks fall, everyone forms civil societies!", the rocks falling bit relating to how Hobbes adapted the principle of inertia to politics.

    The nearness of it to the standard d&d line, "Rocks fall, everyone dies." had me cracking up. Course, no one else in the class knew what I was laughing about. But that's not so uncommon.

    Anyway.

    It got me thinking about other philosophers and how their thoughts or ideas could be summed up into one line catchphrases related to d&d. Yes, not even the Copernican revolution can keep my mind from d&d, apparently.

    Here's a few I've thought of:

    Nietzsche: "Alignments are for slaves."

    Socrates: "Use True Seeing to bypass the illusions of the world."

    Hegel: "The Spirit of the World is my shapeshifting animal companion."

    Heraklitus*: "Everything is a Fire elemental in a different form."

    Parmenides: "Only with Divine Favor will you walk the Way of Truth."

    ---

    I suppose they wouldn't be funny unless you understand the particular philosopher. Then again, they might not be funny regardless.

    *Different spelling to bypass the censor.

    ----

    And I just thought of one for Star Trek:

    Nietzsche/Scotty: "She's got no will to power, Cap'n!"
    Last edited by dangerprawn; 2010-01-26 at 06:45 PM.
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    Just for the last one: you win my eternal adoration.
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    Woot. I finally won something.
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    Default Re: D&D Philosophy One-Liners

    Descartes: "I am the DM."

    Nietzsche (as Nihilist): "Rocks fall, everybody dies."

    Donatien François, Marquis de Sade: "I head to the nearest brothel!"

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    Default Re: D&D Philosophy One-Liners

    Descartes: I have an intelligence score higher than 3, ergo sum.
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    Descartes: De ominieighteen dubitandum (All-eighteen stats are to be doubted, so roll on the table!)

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    Default Re: D&D Philosophy One-Liners

    Hamlet: To play a monk or not to play a monk, that is the question.

    Marx: Commoners of the world, unite; you have nothing to lose but your WBL.

    Adam Smith: *weeps in corner crying*

    Emerson: Every campaign becomes boring in the end. Play a druid instead of any other class.

    Sartre: existence precedes essentia.
    Last edited by industrious; 2010-01-26 at 10:31 PM.
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    Socrates/DM: "So you're all in the cave..."
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    Bruce Lee: "Boards don't hit back unless someone cast animate objects on them."
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    Default Re: D&D Philosophy One-Liners

    Quote Originally Posted by Thatguyoverther View Post
    Socrates/DM: "So you're all in the cave..."
    Nice one!

    "One death is a tragedy; one million deaths is a lot of XP."
    "2+INT skill points ought to be enough for anyone."
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    Frankly, a Wizard can suck even more than a Fighter could ever dream of sucking. A Fighter can stab himself to death, but only a Wizard could Plane Shift to some horrible far realm to be tortured for an eternity of insanity.


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    Lear: How sharper than a serpent's tooth is the same serpent's tooth with frikin GREATER MAGIC FANG +5 CASTED ON IT AGH AGH AGH OWCH -dies-

    PETA: Watch out, commoners. Cats will kill you, because they can.

    Arthur C. Clarke: Any sufficiently advanced magic is indistinguishable from technology.

    Descartes: I've rolled, therefore I am.

    Mao: Power grows out of the pages of a spellbook.

    Sun Tze: Know thyself and scry thy enemy.
    Last edited by lostlittlebear; 2010-01-26 at 10:46 PM.


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    Oscar Wilde: "I can resist anything except temptations with a will save over 31."
    I have a PhD....in epicness
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    Augustine: Oh Lord, make me Lawful Good...only not just yet.
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    I love this thread.
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    Default Re: D&D Philosophy One-Liners

    Kant: Always act as though affected by a Zone of Truth.

    Lamarck: Acquired Templates become Inherited Templates in future generations.

    Plato: I think Emperor Tippy has a good system of government going there.
    My motto: Repensum Est Canicula.

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    Quote Originally Posted by golentan View Post
    Plato: I think Emperor Tippy has a good system of government going there.
    Referring to the City from the Republic? From what I know of the Tippyverse Emperor Tippy is some kinda of tyrannical god, right?

    The City outlined in the Republic, with the Guardians and eugenics and censorship and all, is actually Socrates description of a fevered city. His description of an ideal city happens right before they talk about that city, and is all of two paragraphs.
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    Default Re: D&D Philosophy One-Liners

    "Losing a limb is a tragedy. Falling into a pit of Gelatinous slimes is hilarious."

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    Default Re: D&D Philosophy One-Liners

    Quote Originally Posted by dangerprawn View Post
    Referring to the City from the Republic? From what I know of the Tippyverse Emperor Tippy is some kinda of tyrannical god, right?

    The City outlined in the Republic, with the Guardians and eugenics and censorship and all, is actually Socrates description of a fevered city. His description of an ideal city happens right before they talk about that city, and is all of two paragraphs.
    Emperor Tippy was the guy who suggested the Tippyverse, wherein wizards (philosophers) take over en masse and use magic and their vast intellect to learn and solve all problems. Or at least all their particular governance's problems.

    It was a a throwaway gag.
    Last edited by golentan; 2010-01-27 at 12:27 AM.
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    Ah, I see. I think my understanding of the Tippyverse was distorted as my first exposure to it was the Tippyverse '84 recruiting thread.
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    Adventures of Bronze Squad Quote of the Week:
    Quote Originally Posted by Hawk7915
    The one time I actually roll a crit, it's against a rope and I forget my confirm roll

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    Quote Originally Posted by industrious View Post
    Adam Smith: *weeps in corner crying*
    Heheheh. Heh.
    I think I've had enough for a while.

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    "It is said that if you have both the Monster Manual and the Player's Handbook, you will not be imperiled in a hundred encounters; if you do not have the Monster Manual but have the Player's Handbook, you will win one and lose one; if you do not have the Monster Manual nor the Player's Handbook, you will be imperiled in every single encounter."
    -Sun Tzu

    "All warfare is based on Bluff checks."
    -Sun Tzu

    "Be a rogue. Thereby you can be the director of the opponent's fate."
    -Sun Tzu
    Last edited by Athaniar; 2010-01-27 at 10:08 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by golentan View Post
    Lamarck: Acquired Templates become Inherited Templates in future generations.
    Hehehehehehehehehe.

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    Aristoteles: "A party is more then the sum of its members"
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Xavius View Post
    "Be a rogue. Thereby you can be the director of the opponent's fate."
    -Sun Tzu
    And here I thought Sun Tzu would suggest a combination of diviner/battlefield controller.
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    Mark Twain: Dance like you have Greater Invisibility. Sing like you're Silenced. Love like you've never taken hit point damage and live like you've been Plane Shifted to Celestia.
    Last edited by Cheesegear; 2010-01-27 at 06:22 AM.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cheesegear View Post
    Mark Twain: Dance like you have Greater Invisiibility, sing like you're Silenced. Love like you've never taken hit point damage and live like you've been Plane Shifted to Celestia.
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    Machiavelli "It is a sound maxim that when an act is evil, the result may excuse it, and when the result is good, always excuses it"
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eldan View Post
    And here I thought Sun Tzu would suggest a combination of diviner/battlefield controller.
    Having read Sun Tzu, I'd say he'd actually be a cleric. The first line of the Art of War is actually an admonishment telling states not to go to war lightly. Funnily enough, for such a great general, Sun Tzu actually counseled that war should only be used as a last resort, which makes him all the more greater in my eyes.

    Quote Originally Posted by hamishspence View Post
    Machiavelli "It is a sound maxim that when an act is evil, the result may excuse it, and when the result is good, always excuses it"
    Maybe it should be - It is a sound maxim that when an act is stupid, the dice may excuse it, and when the dice is a natural 20, always excuses it.

    Nietzche: The DM IS DEAD!
    Last edited by lostlittlebear; 2010-01-27 at 06:00 AM.


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    DM: Nietzsche, your character is dead!
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    Quote Originally Posted by lostlittlebear View Post
    Maybe it should be - It is a sound maxim that when an act is stupid, the dice may excuse it, and when the dice is a natural 20, always excuses it.
    Nice- Very D20-ish- though the other one was more suited to campaigns with an alignment system.
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