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  1. - Top - End - #121
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Mercenary Pen's Avatar

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    Default Re: D&D Philosophy One-Liners

    "Those who do not learn from previous encounters are doomed to repeat them."- George Santayana.
    Part of YugiohITP
    Avatar by Smuchmuch

    Warning: This post may contain traces of nuts, madness and/or sarcasm, you have been warned.

  2. - Top - End - #122
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    AslanCross's Avatar

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    Default Re: D&D Philosophy One-Liners

    This thread is made of so much win. I wish I could contribute something, but at the moment I'll just spend some time admiring all of the above posts.


    Eberron Red Hand of Doom Campaign Journal. NOW COMPLETE!
    Sakuya Izayoi avatar by Mr. Saturn. Caella sig by Neoseph.

    "I dunno, you just gave me the image of a nerd flying slow motion over a coffee table towards another nerd, dual wielding massive books. It was awesome." -- Marriclay

  3. - Top - End - #123
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Calmar's Avatar

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    "Optimize, after you have first learned to submit to rule."
    - Solon

    "Then our battle shall be in deeper darkness!"
    - Leonidas I

    "Character creation is the most important part of the work."
    "Party members have all things in common."
    - Plato

    "When you close your doors, and make darkness within, remember never to say that you are alone, for you are not alone; nay, the DM is within, and your genius is within. And what need have they of light to see what you are doing?"
    - Epictetus

  4. - Top - End - #124
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    Kaiyanwang's Avatar

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    Default Re: D&D Philosophy One-Liners

    Spinoza: Fear cannot be without saving throw nor saving throw can be done without fear.
    Warning: my time zone and internet acces may lead to strange/late post answers.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kurald Galain View Post
    The rogue isn't really using charisma in melee, the rogue is applying Ability Score #6 to his Type-One attacks.
    Quote Originally Posted by ken-do-nim View Post
    DMing is how you turn D&D from a game into a hobby.
    Quote Originally Posted by Maroon View Post
    Players can see a story where there isn't one.
    Quote Originally Posted by Eldariel View Post
    For 4.0? I expect them to whine to the DM until he makes the big bad boogeyman go away.

  5. - Top - End - #125
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    ElfMonkGuy

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    Default Re: D&D Philosophy One-Liners

    Expanding the original premise slightly:

    -If all movement must take place in five-foot intervals, then how can any movement ever be completed, because to move five feet you must move two and a half?

    -Pun-Pun has an infinite number of abilities on his character sheet. If you erase the first and write in a new one, then erase the second and write in the first, and so on, you will never finish; therefore, you can not grant abilities to Pun-Pun.

    -If a rogue uses UMD to perfectly simulate being a Batman wizard, clearly that does not make the Rogue a Batman Wizard, but instead just emulating Batman wizardry without understanding.

  6. - Top - End - #126
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    Calmar's Avatar

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    "Level 20 is not always meant to be reached, it often serves simply as something to aim at."
    - Bruce Lee


    It's been a long time since I've laughed so much about a forum thread.
    These quotes are my favourites:

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    Quote Originally Posted by Thatguyoverther View Post
    Socrates/DM: "So you're all in the cave..."
    Quote Originally Posted by lostlittlebear View Post
    Arthur C. Clarke: Any sufficiently advanced magic is indistinguishable from technology.
    Quote Originally Posted by golentan View Post
    Kant: Always act as though affected by a Zone of Truth.

    Lamarck: Acquired Templates become Inherited Templates in future generations.
    Quote Originally Posted by Eldan View Post
    DM: Nietzsche, your character is dead!
    Quote Originally Posted by Freshmeat View Post
    For to win one hundred victories in one hundred battles is not the acme of skill. To subdue the enemy without fighting is the acme of skill.
    - Sun Tzu, explaining the concept of the Batman wizard.
    Quote Originally Posted by Armoury99 View Post
    Confucius: "Do not be ashamed of fumbles and thus make them crimes"

    Charles Darwin: "Owlbears? Well, err..."
    Quote Originally Posted by Devils_Advocate View Post
    "The players are condemned to be free."
    - Satre, on sandbox games

    "How smart is Vecna, really? Smart enough not to let you know how smart he is."

  7. - Top - End - #127
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    Alistair Crowley: If you're a wizard, do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law.

    Nietzsche's works:
    Dwarfen, all to Dwarfen
    Gay Elven Science
    Thus spoke Gary Gygax
    Beyond Alignments
    Ecce Commoner
    The Will to Power and Psions

    Einstein: I believe two things to be infinite: the player's ingenuity, and the DM's malignity. But I'm not sure on the last one.
    Si non confectus, non reficiat.

    The beautiful girl is courtesy of Serpentine
    My S.T.A.L.K.E.R. Call of Pripjat Let's Play! Please give it a read, more than one constant reader would be nice!

  8. - Top - End - #128
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    TheFallenOne's Avatar

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    Adorno: What use is a high level if apart from that you're a fighter

    Ambrose Pierce: RULEBOOK, n. A malevolent literary device for cramping the growth of a game and making it hard and inelastic.

    Richard Feynman: Character optimization is like sex; sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it.

    Julien Green: Wizards fly and fighters go on foot. Therein lies all the drama of a melee-er.

    Abraham Lincoln: if you want to test a man's character, give him a candle of invocation.

    Ronald Reagan: How do you tell a fighter? Well, it’s someone who plays Dungeons & Dragons. And how do you tell a wizard? It’s someone who understands Dungeons and Dragons.
    Quote Originally Posted by Jeff the Green View Post
    Actually, when you first put up the post where the gazebo started trying to eat us, I assumed you were pulling our legs and you'd put up the real post soon enough.


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    MindFlayer

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mercenary Pen View Post
    "Those who do not learn from previous TPK's are doomed to repeat them."- George Santayana.
    Fixed that for you.
    Boats are like nuts, the outside is hard but the inside is usually good to eat.


    And remember, things can always get worse.

  10. - Top - End - #130
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    Default Re: D&D Philosophy One-Liners

    Ronal Reagan: Mr. Gorbatschwow, open this gate.
    Si non confectus, non reficiat.

    The beautiful girl is courtesy of Serpentine
    My S.T.A.L.K.E.R. Call of Pripjat Let's Play! Please give it a read, more than one constant reader would be nice!

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    Quincunx's Avatar

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    Default Re: D&D Philosophy One-Liners


    When the players hurled spears
    and washed their sheets clean with their tears,
    did he smile, his work to see?
    Did he who statted lambs stat thee?

    Tiger, tiger, burning bright,
    in the forests of the night,
    what dungeon master's hand or eye
    dare frame thy fearful symmetry?

    *****

    A dead body, revenges not injuries.
    The rogue condemns the trap, not himself.
    As the caterpillar chooses the fairest leaves to lay her eggs on, so the paladin lays his curse on the fairest joys.
    The sorceror wish'd every thing was magical, the fighter, that every thing was not.

    --William Blake, writing on the back of his deceased character's sheet as the TPK unfurled

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    Calmar's Avatar

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    "Victorious warriors choose their feats first and then go to war, while defeated warriors go to war first and then seek to choose their feats."
    - Sun Tsu

    "In a final encounter there is no substitute for victory."
    - Douglas MacArthur

  13. - Top - End - #133
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    Devil

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    Default Re: D&D Philosophy One-Liners

    [QUOTE=Person_Man;7777375]
    Foucault: The only dungeons are the ones constructed in your mind by society. But first, let me explain the last 100 years of back story...
    QUOTE]

    Right on, that is Focault.

  14. - Top - End - #134
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    Default Re: D&D Philosophy One-Liners

    Not exactly philosophy, but still...

    Kilgore: "I love the smell of guano bat in the morning. Smells like victory."

    Willard: "Every minute I stay in this room, I get weaker, and every minute Tucker's kobolds squats in the bush, they gets stronger"


    Spoon boy: "Do not try and bend the spoon. That's impossible. Instead only try to realize the truth. There is no spoon... it is not the spoon that bends, it is only yourself." (rolls bluff)
    Last edited by Killer Angel; 2010-01-28 at 10:19 AM.
    Do I contradict myself?
    Very well then I contradict myself. I am large, I contain multitudes. (W.Whitman)


    Things that increase my self esteem:
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kaiyanwang View Post
    Great analysis KA. I second all things you said
    Quote Originally Posted by JoeYounger View Post
    Great analysis KA, I second everything you said here.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ryu_Bonkosi View Post
    If I have a player using Paladin in the future I will direct them to this. Good job.
    Quote Originally Posted by grimbold View Post
    THIS is proof that KA is amazing
    Quote Originally Posted by PairO'Dice Lost View Post
    Killer Angel, you have an excellent taste in books
    Quote Originally Posted by Eldan View Post
    Historical zombies is a fantastic idea.

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    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Calmar's Avatar

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    "Against stupidity the very DMs
    Themselves contend in vain."
    - Friedrich Schiller

    "All the lawful good are friends of one another."
    - Zeno

    "Balancing is beautiful in theory; in practice it is a fallacy. You at WotC will see that some day."
    - Benito Mussolini

  16. - Top - End - #136
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    OldWizardGuy

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    Richard Dawkins: In order to Craft: Apple Pie, one must first create D&D.

  17. - Top - End - #137
    Troll in the Playground
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    "I am I plus my circumstance bonuses."

    José Ortega y Gasset
    Truth resists simplicity.

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    Kaiyanwang's Avatar

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    Default Re: D&D Philosophy One-Liners

    Schopenhauer: "UMD is a businness that does not cover the costs"

    "A man’s sheet as a rule says more, and more interesting things, than his mouth, for it is a compendium of everything his mouth will ever say, in that it is the monogram of all this man’s skills, feats and class features".

    "The fundament upon which all our knowledge and learning rests is the SRD"

    "Fame is something which must be won; honor is something which must not be lost. Taint System is not clear for me, yet"
    Last edited by Kaiyanwang; 2010-01-28 at 10:55 AM.
    Warning: my time zone and internet acces may lead to strange/late post answers.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kurald Galain View Post
    The rogue isn't really using charisma in melee, the rogue is applying Ability Score #6 to his Type-One attacks.
    Quote Originally Posted by ken-do-nim View Post
    DMing is how you turn D&D from a game into a hobby.
    Quote Originally Posted by Maroon View Post
    Players can see a story where there isn't one.
    Quote Originally Posted by Eldariel View Post
    For 4.0? I expect them to whine to the DM until he makes the big bad boogeyman go away.

  19. - Top - End - #139
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    Another_Poet's Avatar

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    Default Re: D&D Philosophy One-Liners

    Xykon may have done many brutal and tyrannical things; he may have destroyed humanoid freedom in Azure City; he may have murdered and tortured citizens whose only crime was to be powered by positive energy; but one had to admit one thing about the Lich: he made the peasant rail guns run on time.

    I just published my first novella, Lúnasa Days, a modern fantasy with a subtle, uncertain magic.

    You can grab it on Kindle or paperback.

    Proud to GM two Warhammer Adventures:


    Plays as Ulrich, Student of Law

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    Default Re: D&D Philosophy One-Liners

    Margaret Thatcher: Being a wizard is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren't.
    Last edited by GolemsVoice; 2010-01-28 at 11:14 AM.
    Si non confectus, non reficiat.

    The beautiful girl is courtesy of Serpentine
    My S.T.A.L.K.E.R. Call of Pripjat Let's Play! Please give it a read, more than one constant reader would be nice!

  21. - Top - End - #141
    Ogre in the Playground
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    Default Re: D&D Philosophy One-Liners

    Oppenheimer upon learning epic spellcasting "I am become death, the destroyer of worlds"
    At the heart of all beauty lies something inhuman, and these hills, the softness of the sky, the outline of the trees at this very minute lose the illusory meaning with which we clothed them, henceforth more remote than a lost paradise.
    -Camus, An Absurd Reasoning


    Fourth Doctor avatar courtesy of Szilard

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    Class features are a fact, in most instances. But character classes are but signs, symbols. No influence is of greater value or of greater help than the will of an individual.... Do not attempt to be guided by, but use the character sheet as the means to meet or to overcome the faults and failures, or to minimize the faults and to magnify the virtues in self.
    ~Edgar Cayce

    About character classes and XP: they are good because they make people vivid and full of possibilities. They are communism at its best. Everybody has character and almost everybody has experience.
    ~Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.
    I just published my first novella, Lúnasa Days, a modern fantasy with a subtle, uncertain magic.

    You can grab it on Kindle or paperback.

    Proud to GM two Warhammer Adventures:


    Plays as Ulrich, Student of Law

  23. - Top - End - #143
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    Default Re: D&D Philosophy One-Liners

    Quote Originally Posted by GolemsVoice View Post
    Margaret Thatcher: Being a wizard is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren't.
    Hilarious, absolutely hilarious.
    Avatar by Assassin89
    I started my first campaign around a campfire, having pancakes. They were blueberry.
    My homebrew(updated 6/17):

  24. - Top - End - #144
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    Another_Poet's Avatar

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    Default Re: D&D Philosophy One-Liners

    My friend HazelStone lost her login info and asked me to put up this one for her. Possible threadwin comin' online:

    William S. Burroughs - Words of Advice For Player Characters
    People often ask me if I have any words of advice for player characters.
    Well here are a few simple admonitions for young and old.
    Never interfere in a demon vs. lich fight.
    Beware of wizards who say they don't want money.
    The hell they don't.
    What they mean is they want more money. Much more.
    If you're doing business with a Lawful Evil son-of-a-gun,
    Get it in writing.
    His word isn't worth crap.
    Not with Vecna telling him how to screw you on the deal.

    Avoid screw-up NPCs.
    We all know the type.
    Anything they have anything to do with,
    No matter how good it sounds,
    Turns into a disaster.
    Do not offer sympathy to the newly infected undead.
    Tell them firmly:
    I am not paid to listen to this drivel.
    You are a terminal noob.

    Now some of you may encounter the Devil's Bargain,
    If you get that far.
    Any old soul is worth saving,
    At least to a priest,
    But not every soul is worth buying.
    So you can take the offer as a compliment.
    He tries the easy ones first.
    You know like money,
    All the money there is.
    But who wants to be the richest guy in Limbo?
    Not much left to spend it on, eh gramps?
    Getting too old to cut the mustard.

    Well, time hits the hardest blows.
    Especially below the belt.
    How's a young body grab you?
    Like three card monte, a Bluff check made by a 15th level rogue,
    Now you see it, now you don't.
    Haven't you forgotten something, gramps?
    In order to feel something,
    You've got to be there.
    You have to be eighteen.
    You're not eighteen.
    You are seventy-eight. And you’ve taken age-related stat penalties.
    Old fool sold his soul for a phylactery.

    Well they always try the easiest ones first.
    How about an honorable bargain?
    You always wanted to be a healer,
    Well now's your chance.
    Why don't you become a great Cleric
    And benefit humanity?
    What's wrong with that?
    Just about everything.
    There are no honorable bargains
    Involving exchange
    Of qualitative merchandise
    Like souls
    For quantitative merchandise
    Like time and money.
    So tick off Tiamat
    And don't take me for dumber than I look.

    An old Loremaster told me -
    Watch whose money you pick up.
    I just published my first novella, Lúnasa Days, a modern fantasy with a subtle, uncertain magic.

    You can grab it on Kindle or paperback.

    Proud to GM two Warhammer Adventures:


    Plays as Ulrich, Student of Law

  25. - Top - End - #145
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Planetar

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cheesegear View Post
    Mark Twain: Dance like you have Greater Invisibility. Sing like you're Silenced. Love like you've never taken hit point damage and live like you've been Plane Shifted to Celestia.
    Can I sig this?
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  26. - Top - End - #146
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    Dust's Avatar

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    "A man who is good enough to shed his blood for the country is good enough to be given a standard ECL treasure reward afterwards."
    - Theodore Roosevelt

    "Always forgive your GMs; nothing annoys them so much."
    - Oscar Wilde

  27. - Top - End - #147
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    Telonius's Avatar

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    Default Re: D&D Philosophy One-Liners

    Giovanni Pico della Mirandola, "On the Dignity of Druids." (A mere eight words changed from the translated original).

    Spoiler
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    The DM, the Mightiest Architect, had already raised, according to the precepts of His hidden wisdom, this world we see, the cosmic dwelling of divinity, a temple most august. He had already adorned the supercelestial region with Solars, infused the heavenly globes with the life of immortal souls and set the fermenting dung-heap of the inferior world teeming with every form of animal life. But when this work was done, the Divine Artificer still longed for some creature which might comprehend the meaning of so vast an achievement, which might be moved with love at its beauty and smitten with awe at its grandeur. When, consequently, all else had been completed (as both Mordenkainen and Vecna testify), in the very last place, He bethought Himself of bringing forth multiclassing.

    Truth was, however, that there remained no archetype according to which He might fashion a new offspring, nor in His treasure-houses the wherewithal to endow a new son with a fitting inheritance, nor any place, among the seats of the universe, where this new creature might dispose himself to contemplate the world. All space was already filled; all things had been distributed in the highest, the middle and the lowest orders. Still, it was not in the nature of the power of the DM to fail in this last creative élan; nor was it in the nature of that supreme Wisdom to hesitate through lack of counsel in so crucial a matter; nor, finally, in the nature of His beneficent love to compel the creature destined to praise the divine generosity in all other things to find it wanting in himself.

    At last, the Supreme Maker decreed that this creature, to whom He could give nothing wholly his own, should have a share in the particular endowment of every other creature. Taking the Druid, therefore, this creature of indeterminate image, He set him in the middle of the world and thus spoke to him:

    "We have given you, O Druid 20, no visage proper to yourself, nor endowment properly your own, in order that whatever place, whatever form, whatever gifts you may, with premeditation, select, these same you may have and possess through your own judgement and decision. The nature of all other creatures is defined and restricted within laws which We have laid down; you, by contrast, impeded by no such restrictions, may, by your own free will, to whose custody We have assigned you, trace for yourself the lineaments of your own nature. I have placed you at the very center of the world, so that from that vantage point you may with greater ease glance round about you on all that the world contains. We have made you a creature neither of heaven nor of earth, neither mortal nor immortal, in order that you may, as the free and proud shaper of your own being, fashion yourself in the form you may prefer. It will be in your power to descend to the lower, brutish forms of life; you will be able, through your own decision, to rise again to the superior orders whose life is divine."
    Last edited by Telonius; 2010-01-28 at 02:11 PM.

  28. - Top - End - #148
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    Dimers's Avatar

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    Quote Originally Posted by GolemsVoice View Post
    Alistair Crowley: If you're a wizard, do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law.
    The Wiccan Rede: An ye harm none, do as ye may, but if you're going to play that way you might as well take the Vow of Peace feat.

    Disintegrated, soul binded men tell no tales.

    Quote Originally Posted by Killer Angel View Post
    Spoon boy: "Do not try and bend the spoon. That's impossible. Instead only try to realize the truth. There is no spoon... it is not the spoon that bends, it is only yourself." (rolls bluff)
    Carlos Castaneda: "It's better to get something worthwhile done using deception than to fail to get something worthwhile done using truth." (*rolls Bluff check*)
    Last edited by Dimers; 2010-01-28 at 02:21 PM.

  29. - Top - End - #149
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Haberdashery's Avatar

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    Default Re: D&D Philosophy One-Liners

    "This is my people shooting hat. I get a +5 competence bonus on attack rolls against humanoids in this hat."
    -Holden Caulfield, Catcher in the Rye (In memory of J.D. Salinger)

    "One score and sixteen years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new RPG, conceived in Chainmail, and dedicated to the proposition that all characters are created to plunder dungeons and slay dragons equally.
    Now we are engaged in a great edition war, testing whether that RPG, or any RPG so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great forum of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that board, as a final resting place for those who gave their social lives that that RPG might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.
    But, in a larger sense, we cannot desecrate -- we cannot consecrate -- we cannot hallow -- this ground, for we do not have the Caster Level to do so. The brave players, washed and unwashed, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor cleric level to recast it. The forum will little note, nor long remember what we type here, but it can never forget what they did here, because those threads have many pages and are posted on daily. It is for us the players, rather, to be dedicated to the unfinished work which those who argued and insulted each other here most nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task before us -- that from these honored debaters we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion -- that we here highly resolve that these debaters shall not have debated fiercely in vain -- that in this RPG, under Pelor, shall have a new birth of freedom -- and that an RPG of gamers, by gamers, for gamers shall not perish from the earth."
    -Abraham Lincoln
    Last edited by Haberdashery; 2010-01-28 at 02:51 PM.

  30. - Top - End - #150
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    Default Re: D&D Philosophy One-Liners

    All animals are created equal but the Tarrasque is more equal than others.

    "Do it?" Please, I'm not a Chaotic Stupid villain. Do you seriously think I'd explain my masterstroke if there remained the slightest chance of you affecting its outcome? I cast Contingency this morning. You triggered it 35 minutes ago.
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