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[Executor]

JOHN CARTER OF MARS
So he had seen me. Blasted. Straightening up from my crouch, I resheathed my sword and holstered my pistol. With a chuckle, I remembered that I was stark naked, except for a belt and leather harness upon which my weapons were secured, as well as some other decorative accoutrements of leather and metal, and even these concealed nothing, as I had never had much patience for an excessively frilled and coiffed soldier. Even without a stich of uniform on me, I still looked fairly impressive, if I could say so myself. I stood two inches over six feet, broad of shoulder and narrow of hip, with the carriage of the trained fighting man. My features were regular and clear cut, my hair black and closely cropped, while his eyes were of a steel grey that closely matched the blade of my sword. Drawing myself to my full height, with shoulders back and chest forward, just like I used to stand when on a military parade, I walked out of the darkness with my head held high in pride.

"Good day to you sir" I said, my Virginian accent still quite clear despite how long I had gone without speaking English. I snapped a salute, just like I had during the Civil War, my Earth soldier's reflexes coming back fully now. From the salute, I transitioned to a flourish and a low bow. Standing back straight, I looked the other man straight in the eye. He was a hard man, I could tell from his looks. His shoulders were broad, and his neck was wide and positively rippled with muscle. His face was marked with prominent scars, and what might have been light brown or grey hair was cut close to the scalp.

"My name is Captain John Carter, formerly of the Confederate Army, now of Mars. How do you do?" I introduced myself, bowing my head in a show of respect to the man with the gun pointed at me, who was clearly a fighting man of considerable experience and high rank. I pointedly ignored the shocked looks they were giving my naked self.

[industrious]

Mal and Zoe

Zoe quickly works the action on her repeater. "Permission to neuter target, sir?"

Glancing at his longtime friend, Mal shudders, pulling his gun away from Carter as he does so. "No! No, Zoe. Though I am curious, Colonel. Is this normal procedure on this world? I reckon that might be why nobody comes here."

[Cracklord]

+++Thought for the Day: The oathbreaker is the vilest of traitors.+++

Segmentum Tempestus. Subsector Gaius. Unnamed System. Pandora.

The command bridge was quiet. Servitors whirred to themselves as they mindlessly adjusted controls and sent reports, their withered hands dancing blindly over the panels. There was a constant chanting coming from the overhead speakers as the ship's priests recited litanies of protection and thanks. In the center of the bridge, blind-astropaths murmured to themselves and twitched sporatically. At the very front, an elaborate, golden freize covered most of the wall, images of the Emperor and His saints glaring down at the crew members below.
No reply. The vox had either not been picked up, or was on the wrong frequency. Or they were intentionally ignoring you.
Either way, the bases bellow have ignored the offer of surrender.

Wash
As the pilot plays with toy dinosaurs, a voice blares out of the radio.

"We are the Space Marines, and we serve the God Emperor of Mankind. We have come to cleanse this space of Xenos scum, and to bring The Emperor's fury upon heretics who would aid them. This is Grand Chapter Master Mandallus speaking, and I will suffer not the Xenos to live under direct order of the Inquisition. Those of you who swear allegiance to the emperor. You are ordered to join the forces of The Imperium, and report for indoctrination into the Imperial Guard."

Kaylee
You are unfamiliar with the system for keeping it all in order, and it occurs to you that it might be a while before you find what you are looking for. This is not an unwelcome circumstance. In particular, you are captivated by the Mitsubishi MK-6 Amplified Mobility Platforms, direct descendants of the exoskeletons some military forces wear.

Jayne
The man staggers back, clutching his bleeding nose. A shaking hand reaches for the combat knife at his hip. None of the soldiers seem to keen to help him.

Simon
She purses her lips. "What an astute observation. Thank you." She replies, her voice deeply layered with sarcasm. "If that will be all, take your mystic and get out."

Mal, Zoe and Carter
The colonel lowers his gun, but in a way that suggests he's only too keen to bring it back up. "No one comes here because it's a warzone." He growls. "An we're fighting ever damn plant, animal and person." He turns his gaze on Carter. "Well, Captain, we can always use good men in this here base. Get something on and then we'll talk. My rooms a door behind, you look about my size so help yourself. Got any experience in dealing with hostile extra-terrestrials?" He asks curiously, at last putting his gun away.

[industrious]

Wash (and River)

Hearing the broadwave call from the orbiting ship, Wash opens a comm channel to respond...only to have River snatch it out of his hand. Despite his incredulous look, River proceeds to respond to the Imperium's message.

"Go away. We don't want any cookies."

Kaylee

The girl walks around the bay in wonder. Her feelings of ecstasy can only be described in one word. "Shiny."

Jayne
The amoral mercenary puts his hands palm up, walking slowly towards the guard.

"Look, moron, just let me through to Kaylee. No harm no..." Jayne follows up with a straight cross, a knee to the groin, and a karate chop to the knife-wielding hand.

[Cracklord]

Jayne
The man staggers and falls.
"Damn." Another of the soldiers says, coolly walking over out of the milling group around the fight and helping himself to one of the man's cigarette's. None of them seem interested in stopping you.

Kaylee
A crate towards the end of the stored gear catches your eye. You can hear a gentle whirring, even at this distance.

[industrious]

Jayne

The man stretches his muscles. "s'gonna be a good day. Good day." Making his way through the crowd, he heads into the engineering section, hoping Kaylee hasn't gotten too far. Mal would chew his hide for this one.

Kaylee

Moving closer to the crate, the young mechanic tries to figure out what's in it.

Simon and Book

The young Doctor storms off, already in a foul mood from that woman. This time, he actively tries to find the sick ward.

Book, on the other hand, stays where he is. "That's some mighty interesting work you're doing. Human-Xeno hybridization? What an unusual concept. How do you deal with cultural differences between the natives?"

[Cracklord]

Kaylee
The crate is locked, sealed, bolted and duct taped shut. A code pad is on the right of the box, waiting for the right keys to be typed in.
Beside it is a row of guns of various sizes, a few more crates like it, and number of pressure sensitive pads. Something makes you suspect that those are what you will be carrying.

Book
The cigarette falls from her suddenly nerveless fingers. Stepping forwad she stares at you, as though seeing you for the first time. "Study." She says slowly, clearly very surprised. "It takes years of it to learn. How did...?" She trails off.

Simon
It's a few doors down. It is mostly empty, for the simple reason that Pandora is deadly, not harmful. The doctors present have things well in hand, although it isn't as efficient as it could be.

[Fan]

Grand Chapter Master Mandallus is... Confused... Cookies? What? Did children for some reason have access to the radios in this system? He picks up the radio again, the thing being the size of a boom box for normal people, but designed for power armored use, so it fit right in his hand. He called out again, fine tuning the frequency from all call to call out again.

"Cookies? Who is this?! I demand to know in the name of the Emperor!"

He calls out indignatly, he would not be played with, he was a Chapter Master of the Grey Knights, and would not be made the fool!

[Executor]

"Why, sir, I have spent the last fifteen years of my life on Barsoom, what you call Mars. I have fought for, and against, the savage Green Martians for most of that time. I am a warlord on Mars! And I have fought for, and against, the civilized Red Martians as well. I am a general on Mars! My good sir, if you have an extraterrestrial that needs slaying, I am your man! But what is your name, sir, if I can ask?" I replied, and then turned my attentions to his other two companions, the simple merchants by their speak of 'cargo', but much more than that by the easy, confident way they held their weapons. I noted that the woman had her rifle trained on my most significant parts, and I did not like the sureness of her aim.

"Ahem, madam, if you could kindly direct your rifle elsewhere? I assure you my manhood isn't going to hurt anyone" I said, with a lighthearted chuckle, setting my hands on my hips and smiling easily. I then extended one hand in greeting towards the brown-jacketed man.

"I am, as I have said, Captain John Carter of Mars. Whom, may I ask, do I have the pleasure of addressing?" I asked, and then remembering the request that I put on Earth clothes, I turned my head towards the scarred military man.

"Uh, sir, might you have a pair of trousers on hand? It is feeling rather nippy in here" I remarked, a shiver passing along my body.

[Cracklord]

The officer finally puts his gun away. "Colonel Miles Quaritch." He replies. "But you'll be calling me sir." He sucks his teeth. "You'll do. Come with me, I'll get you dressed." With that, he walks out of the room and through the door a few steps down. He tosses John a pair of pants.

[industrious]

Mal and Zoe

"Zoe, put the gun away. You can always shoot him later. Be polite." Speaking in an easy tone, Mal shakes the newcomer's hand. "I'm Mal, and this is Zoe." He doesn't add anything else after their names. Their war was over.

River and Wash

Attempting to grab the comm back from River, Wash extends his fingers towards the young girls arm. "River, mei-mei, I need you to give that back to me."

The girl gets more and more agitated with every word"No, it's mine and you'll take it and they'll take everything and the cherubs will never sing again. ITS MY GORRAM COMM!"

Said comm is still broadcasting during this exchange. Moving slightly further away from Wash, River continues speaking to the Grand Chapter Master.

"I'll tell you a secret. Everything you know is a lie. All the Space Marines are really women." Still keeping the line active, she giggles, like a little schoolgirl. It's really quite disturbing to see her.

Book

Taking a nearby seat, the older man smiles. "I wasn't born a Preacher. Now, I find this sort of work fascinating. Could you tell me more about the native population?"

Kaylee

Still staring at all the other machinery, Kaylee bites her lip. "I wonder what's inside those crates..." she mutters to herself.

Simon

Walking over to one of the surgeons, Simon swiftly and smoothly takes over the operation. A simple laceration, but the doctor was using the wrong type of suture for the job; in about one week, the wounds would burst open again. Resolving to berate the man for such an elementary mistake later, he removes the half-done stitches, and begins anew with a freshly sterilized needle. For now, there is a man's life in jeopardy.

[Fan]

"You dare play games with a Chapter Master Heretic? Very well then, this is over child. Your mindless blatherings will be tolerated no longer."

He then turns to battle brother, and main pilot of the Strike Class Cruiser, Adonis, and says in a voice that would bolster the faltering spirits of his men, who by now were quite unsatisfied with the amount of purging that was not going on around here.

"Prepare the deep strike pods, and move us into position over one of the smaller Xenos Encampments. We're going to give the little girl on the other end a show of what happens to heretics, and those who would mock the Adeptus Astartes. Let us go into battle. FOR THE EMPEROR!"

Jovial cries of encouragement, and "FOR THE EMPEROR!" came from the small amount of surface ready men he had on the ship, totalling 20 in all. as heavy armored foot steps moved into position in the multiple "alcoves" that served as doorless entrances to the drop pods, a :Fwwsh: being heard as each individual astartes was brought into the chambers that would allow them to survive the harshness of high speed entry into the planets atomjsphere, and the harshness of impact.

[doliest]

Megas Crew
A voice erupts from the mech; Hey; I'm Coop, and my friends are Jamie and Kiva. We're here to cruise around, maybe find some food.

COOP! We're trying to find a way back to earth; not get food.

Hey; is this or is this not the planet of the Blue Space Elf babes?

No such thing, Jamie. I keep telling you.

Coop, seeing a bag of chips under the dashboard, bends to grab them and instead hits the gas now driving straight towards Samus and Eva 02.

Visser 3
Now can I kill you for incompetence?

Still your only pilot.

Fine; tell the bugfighters to continue scanning until we find a city to burn. I don't want to get slogged down in a bug hunt on some backwater planet with only these resources.

He's being reasonable? That's new. One of the Visser's 'sanity keepers,' mutters to the other.

"Keep following 'Samus Aran'; that'll lead us to something important.

[Executor]

"Charmed," I replied, shaking Mal's hand firmly, and then grabbing the trousers the Colonel threw at me. In a smooth motion, I pulled them on, but they felt odd after so long going without them. Strangely stiff and restrictive. Still, it was better than having everyone staring at my manhood. I pulled the belt bearing my sword and pistol around the waistband of the trousers, and then looked down at my new garments. They were tighter at the ankles than the rest of the leg, as if to suggest that they were intended to be tucked into boots, like the Colonel wore them, and they were coloured in various small patches of colour that looked like they were intended to blend into a jungle. They were unlike any trouser I had ever worn, but not entirely uncomfortable. Now I felt conspiciously mismatched, with my broad muscled chest still exposed, but not entirely as awkward as before.

"In any case, where exactly is here, Mr. Mal? The Colonel rather drafted me into his service, and I can not, in good conscience, refuse him. I am, after all, a gentleman, and a gentleman must fulfill his promises." I said, looking around the facility. It seemed to be spartan and unfurnished, and mostly made of sheer, undecorated metal. The windows, as they were, were of thick glass, reinforced with iron bars, as if they were intended for keeping out some animal of immense strength and ferocity.

"What sort of extraterrestrials live here? Why does Colonel Quaritch need any fighting man he can get, even those who appear from the shadows, without proper uniform?" I continued, still feeling rather confused about what had brought me to this strange place, and what exactly was happening now that I was here.

[industrious]

Mal and Zoey

The first mate smoothly cuts into the conversation. "We're on a world called Pandora. Not quite sure about the exact location; the course was programmed direct into our ship's memory banks. And apparently, the planet doesn't like us very much."

River and Wash

"I wouldn't do that if I were you. It's a jungle out there." Closing the comm, River smiles happily. Somehow, she had gotten herself seated on Wash's lap, and the current pilot is frantically trying to push her off.

Turning the comm into a more local channel, Wash reaches the Captain. "Captain. We've got inbound. I don't much like their noise, either."

((remember that Jamie doesn't know Samus is a woman. Yet.))

Samus Aran

Nimbly Space Jumping over the mecha, Samus lands on the top of the convertible that makes up Megas's head. Pointing her Arm Canon at the one most obviously in charge of the three(Kira), the Hunter speaks coldly, her vox masker keeping her voice robotic. "Land this machine. Now."

[doliest]

Megas
Hey, hey, it was an accident; I saw a bag of chips under my dashboard and I thought I could get them. No harm no foul, right?

That was awesome; seriously we should do that again.

Great Coop, just great. This is why we never make and allies; because you keep DESTROYING them.

Hey, it was an accident.

Samus can see that they're currently more interested in arguing with each other and seem to have temporarily forgotten her.

[industrious]

Samus

The lady fires off a Power Beam shot at the mecha's top, barely staining the fabric. "Land, please." This was spoken in a voice that practically begged for an excuse to evicerate them.

[doliest]

Megas
It was an accident! Coop, moving his arms down alongside Megas accidentally hits the, 'chest lazer' button, aimed directly at Samus.

That was an accident! Coop yells.

Coop, no one believes that. Ever.

They should! It's the truth, why does no one ever believe me? That's how half these fights start.

Why did you two have to find my robot? WHY? Kiva seems rather resigned at this point.

.
.
Yes, I've ramped up their disfunction to the nth degree. Actually, I think this might be normal.

[darkblade]

Asuka

Unit-02 drops it's gun and rushes over the Megas. Grabbing the larger robot by it's arm she attempts to judo flip it over her shoulder and on to the ground.

"Ms. Aran these are not your bounties. Kindly leave them to the proper authorities. Now you three what brings you to Pandora."

[Fan]

Grand Chapter Master Mandallus presses the final acknowledgement button inside his pod, the elderly machine groaning as dozens of gears, and electronic signals were sent every which way, and the pilot hit the launch button while organizing the fighter pilots should it ever come to anything nasty up here in space.

Then, with a burning ignition of engines, 21 drop pods flew off directly down upon premade courses, their retro jets correcting micro errors that likely could have been fatal, before they all hit a mere mile away from a smaller Na'avi tribe, the chapter master putting on the glorious helmet of the Grey Guard before leaving the pressurized envrionment of the pod, bolter held against his should as two of the men with Inceinerators began their work clearing the surrounding brush to get a perimeter.

"Brother Darius, move into position to cover Brother Thomas, and make sure none of the local animals get uppity enough to cross the barrier."


(Feel free to see this happening, or whatever. I don't really care. =p)

[doliest]

Megas
We're here to find some nachos. Or some Icecream. Or some hamburgers, maybe.

We're trying to get back to earth in the short term, and fix the time travel matrix in the long term.

Hot blue elf space babes. Do you know any?

[darkblade]

Asuka

"Misato, I think something is wrong with these guys. I have never seen anyone so unable to co-ordinate an alibi. I really don't think that is a good idea...This is worse than letting that bounty hunter go into the jungle." The mech stands above Megas arguing with itself for several minutes before stopping.

"Get out of your mecha and we'll see what our tech people can do for fixing it. We have food in the cafeteria and any human being caught fraternizing with the Na'vi shall be shot on sight." the voice from the mecha says reluctantly.

"Also the Major would like a word with the three of you."

[Cracklord]

Space marines
"Hate is my weapon." the Marine snarled, saluting smartly as he turned to carry out the orders. His Nemesis Force pike crackled with nascent power as he did so. In no time, the twenty of them were lined up, Venerable Dreadnought Klimpt standing behind them, twin-linked psycannon's drawing a bead ahead.
A cluster of huge, tall, thin trees with many branches that stuck out at right angles from the trunk had all leant towards each other over a small lake, forming a dome like structure. Hammock leaves and vines and fungi covered the trunks and branches, which formed a cobweb of connections. It was beginning to glow in the dimming light, reflecting off the water, which gave off its own glow from fluorescent underwater plants.
An indigenous Xenos, three meters tall with smooth cyan-colored skin, large amber eyes, and a long, sweeping tail, face scarred with ritual markings, is observing you from one of the branches, a rude spear in it's hand.

Bug Fighters
A Bugfighter piloted by a taxon watches the events with surprise, as the drop pods drop down. Seeing the Space marines get out, it quickly sends a transmission to the Blade ship.
* * * * *
"Sir!" The toadying technician says, as he looks up from decoding the Vox message sent half an hour ago. "First contact with the believed inhabitants. They... They appear to be evolved, advanced humans." He said, shuddering as he imagined the Visser's reaction.


Book
Still shocked, the women takes an anxious pull on her cigarette to calm her nerves. At last she offers him a forced smile. "Anything you like. I'm actually one of the leading experts. They are the only known extraterrestrial species discovered to have human-like consciousness and intelligence." Your heart goes out to her. Plenty have been discovered, but most have been quietly ordered for genocide by the Alliance. Used to be your job. "They have developed a sophisticated culture based on a profound spiritual connection to other life on their moon, each other, and an encompassing "spirit" they call Eywa. Sort of a primitive concept of Gaia." She's opening up to you, you can tell.

Kaylee
You can't see any obvious way to get them open, which is, in itself, and an answer. Nobody hides or protects anything that's not valuable.

Simon
They defer to you quite gladly, and in no time, you've always been here, and the area is operating far more efficiently.
You can't help but wonder, however, at the type and variation of the wounds. A range off odd infections, deep wounds that no creature you've ever seen should be able to cause, and worse. The sheer amount of the injuries is...worrying.

John/Mal/Wash
The Colonel waits for him to finish. "Because, as a confederate you no doubt have heard stories about frontiers. Well, that's where we are now. The frontier between the real world, civilization, society and the social contract, and the primitive tooth and claw. And that's why we need soldiers. Because this planet is a valuable resource, like Gold in South America or rubber in Africa, and we need what it has."

[doliest]

Megas
Scans indicate we couldn't survive outside of Megas on this planet. The atmosphere is unbreathable.

Yeah. We're not getting out of my robot.

Seriously; I would rather not die.

Coop, I'm going to be doing the talking while these people AREN'T trying to kill us.

It's my robot, I'll do the talking.

It is quite literally, MY ROBOT.

Fine, you do the talking. I'm going to get those chips.

Kiva here, of the United Earth Alliance. I apologize forthe trouble Coop's caused, it really was an accident. I don't think we can leave the robot and not die.

Visser 3

The Visser's tailblade starts twitching around as one of his stalks moves in a 360 for someone disposable, What? Earthers, on this planet? Those primitives can't even define space, let alone travel through it! Scorch their cities. NOW!

Sir, that's a stupid plan. You're going to drag us down into a war with maybe a half-dozen to a dozen bugfighters. We lack the ground forces to win, and a shoot first method eliminates our ability to gather hosts bodies effectively without total victory. You're an idiot.

I should kill you.

Yet you can't. Ain't life grand?
Bug Fighters
Confused about the Visser's actual orders, one of the fighters lands, and a Hork Bajir controller walks out, flanked by two Taxxons, as a greeting party,

'Greetins, I am Tomen 652 of the Yeerk empire. What is your business here?

[Cracklord]

The technician, ignoring the officer and captain's exchange of harsh language, suddenly makes a triumphant noise. "Done!" He says, and the computer plays a recording:

"We are the Space Marines, and we serve the God Emperor of Mankind. We have come to cleanse this space of Xenos scum, and to bring The Emperor's fury upon heretics who would aid them. This is Grand Chapter Master Mandallus speaking, and I will suffer not the Xenos to live under direct order of the Inquisition. Those of you who swear allegiance to the emperor. You are ordered to join the forces of The Imperium, and report for indoctrination into the Imperial Guard."

One by one, every yeerk on the bridge goes silent as they await the Visser's reaction.

[doliest]

Visser 3
The Visser is quite for several minutes, his eye stalks twitching as his listens to the message.
Burn them from this planet, I will not suffer a human insult like this. Let them burn with their fantasy empire.
Bug Fighters
The Hork Bajir drops all pretense of friendship and runs back to the ship followed by the Taxxons, while the other Bug Fighters open direct fire on the 'Space Marines,'

[Cracklord]

It falls to the technician to continue the bad news. "Ah, sir, the transmitting technology... It surpasses anything we've ever seen, even among the Andalites. And the landing craft... Sir, this is obviously a very advanced civilization, surpassing... Surpassing us, sir. Based on projected outcomes, by a good six millenia." He goes quiet, awaiting death.

[darkblade]

Asuka

((I assumed we were in a hanger but I don't want to ruin your exchange.))

"Of course. I knew that. Follow me and I'll bring you to the hanger." The Evangelion picks up it's discarded rifle and makes it's way back towards the hanger. It's very easy to find seeing as it needs what seems to be an extension cord to power it.

"I'd think twice about trying any of the vast weapon systems we detected on your mecha. We are standing on the largest deposit of Unobtainium in the galaxy. One wrong spark and the entire planet is disintegrated into hyperspace vapors."

[doliest]

Visser 3
NOTHING IS BEYOND US, MOST DEFINETLY NOT HUMANS!!

Sir, are we still going to do this?

Yes, we're going to burn this off the face of this planet.

With that, the bug fighters open fire, despite their better judgement.

Megas XLR

Can you please tell me if this is the planet of Blue Space Elf Babes or not? After a second Jamie stops, Un ob what now?

[Fan]

Visser 3
The Visser is quite for several minutes, his eye stalks twitching as his listens to the message.
Burn them from this planet, I will not suffer a human insult like this. Let them burn with their fantasy empire.
Bug Fighters
The Hork Bajir drops all pretense of friendship and runs back to the ship followed by the Taxxons, while the other Bug Fighters open direct fire on the 'Space Marines,'

"Tryanids! In Vehicles, Talking!"

Mandallus says confused by this heresy. Tyranids could not speak! Let alone fly complex craft! Then they began running back to their craft, and the whirr of the equivalent to melta guns warming up, he ordered his men to fall into the pod impact zone, and to use the metal hulks as cover, and to switch to Kraken Pattern Penetration Rounds.

Mandallus says this all while changing the loadout within his drop pod, standard psycannon shells to the anti vehicle kraken pattern penetration rounds. Even as he emerged, his battle brothers had already been changed their newer pods preforming the action in seconds, and with a scream he opened up a direct lane of fire with his storm bolter, the rocket propelled weapons likely wouldn't hit, but if they did, they were the equivalent to anti aircraft guns on a Aircraft carrier that EXPLODE when they hit you. The Dreadnaught however, is much better for this, he fired off a hunter killer missile at one of the bug fighters, and his psycannons opening up salvo after salvo, the altered rounds pouring out of the gun. Meanwhile, Brother Darius was making good on his promise to cover Battle Brother Thomas even as he shifted his aim to fire at the fighters the energy bolts flickering against the ultra hardened creamics of his armor glowing orange spots beginning to form even as he screamed a battle cry for Holy Terra.