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  1. - Top - End - #151
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings VII - Bring Bottled Water, Our Water is Spiked With Love Potion

    xykon in every way, shape, form, is a heartless excuse for bones. all he knows is how to hurt, manipulate, and kil people. Still he exists and is powerful enough to stay alive for just about ever. Poor v and red cloak
    Avatar of a Drow priestess by Teutonic Knight.

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  2. - Top - End - #152

    Default Re: Crack Pairings VII - Bring Bottled Water, Our Water is Spiked With Love Potion

    Quote Originally Posted by icastflare! View Post
    ...decided to pimp out my campaign with portals, sky pirates, warforged, demon lords, thog, and the grapist ( cookie for you if you know who he is).
    Having just seen this post in the old thread, I would like to collect my cookie now. Whitest Kids U Know; very funny.
    It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.

    If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).

    The best answer is always to ask your DM.
    Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.

  3. - Top - End - #153
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings VII - Bring Bottled Water, Our Water is Spiked With Love Potion

    That's why i loved it when someone did the SoulSplicV returning and owning him. XD
    Recent Homebrew: The Socialite | The Crystalline: Memory Altering Construct Race | Sanguine Hand, a ToB Discipline of blood and cruelty
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    It's like the feng shui version of an orbital death laser.

  4. - Top - End - #154
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings VII - Bring Bottled Water, Our Water is Spiked With Love Potion

    Quote Originally Posted by The Dark Fiddler View Post
    Having just seen this post in the old thread, I would like to collect my cookie now. Whitest Kids U Know; very funny.
    you get it when you say his catch phrase
    Avatar of a Drow priestess by Teutonic Knight.

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  5. - Top - End - #155

    Default Re: Crack Pairings VII - Bring Bottled Water, Our Water is Spiked With Love Potion

    Quote Originally Posted by icastflare! View Post
    you get it when you say his catch phrase
    I'm not sure it's appropriate for these boards.
    It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.

    If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).

    The best answer is always to ask your DM.
    Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.

  6. - Top - End - #156
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings VII - Bring Bottled Water, Our Water is Spiked With Love Potion

    pm it to me then if your not too confident. we have had the real word in here before without a ban
    Avatar of a Drow priestess by Teutonic Knight.

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  7. - Top - End - #157
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings VII - Bring Bottled Water, Our Water is Spiked With Love Potion

    Quote Originally Posted by CoffeeIncluded View Post
    ...What.
    Okay, seriously?! This is some kind of sick joke, isn't it?! PLEASE LET IT BE A SICK JOKE!!!
    You haven't heard of "A Modest Proposal" have you.

    And Who whould be the one to ask the mods for a Crack Pairing Archive? I will if no one objects.
    My own webcomic. Idiosyncrasy.
    Paladin Academy: Chapter 2 Part 28

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  8. - Top - End - #158
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    icastflare!'s Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings VII - Bring Bottled Water, Our Water is Spiked With Love Potion

    Quote Originally Posted by Silverraptor View Post
    You haven't heard of "A Modest Proposal" have you.

    And Who whould be the one to ask the mods for a Crack Pairing Archive? I will if no one objects.
    depends...............do you have 18 charisma?
    Avatar of a Drow priestess by Teutonic Knight.

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  9. - Top - End - #159
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings VII - Bring Bottled Water, Our Water is Spiked With Love Potion

    Quote Originally Posted by icastflare! View Post
    depends...............do you have 18 charisma?
    No. 14 actually (took several tests). But I am on friendly speaking terms with Roland.
    My own webcomic. Idiosyncrasy.
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  10. - Top - End - #160
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings VII - Bring Bottled Water, Our Water is Spiked With Love Potion

    okay thats a +5 to checks.......carry the 2 divide by the gelatonus cube.............alright your good
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  11. - Top - End - #161
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings VII - Bring Bottled Water, Our Water is Spiked With Love Potion

    Quote Originally Posted by icastflare! View Post
    depends...............do you have 18 charisma?
    If nobody here has 18 charisma, I can do it. I have max ranks for my level in Bluff, Diplomacy, and Sense Motive, as well as a feat that lets me use my Intelligence bonus on top of my charisma bonus if I succeed at a Preform(oratory/debate/rhetoric) Check
    Awesome avatar by potatocubed

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  12. - Top - End - #162
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings VII - Bring Bottled Water, Our Water is Spiked With Love Potion

    Quote Originally Posted by NemoUtopia View Post
    If nobody here has 18 charisma, I can do it. I have max ranks for my level in Bluff, Diplomacy, and Sense Motive, as well as a feat that lets me use my Intelligence bonus on top of my charisma bonus if I succeed at a Preform(oratory/debate/rhetoric) Check
    Problem is, you don't use those skills on Roland. Anyways, I'm off to ask him now.
    My own webcomic. Idiosyncrasy.
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  13. - Top - End - #163
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings VII - Bring Bottled Water, Our Water is Spiked With Love Potion

    Quote Originally Posted by Silverraptor View Post
    You haven't heard of "A Modest Proposal" have you.
    Actually, I have.

    But that was satire. Water-Smurf is being serious.

  14. - Top - End - #164
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings VII - Bring Bottled Water, Our Water is Spiked With Love Potion

    Quote Originally Posted by CoffeeIncluded View Post
    Actually, I have.

    But that was satire. Water-Smurf is being serious.
    What I love is everyone thought he was being serious!

    And... now I fear that Water-Smurf will be found next in a rehabilitation clinic next time we check...
    My own webcomic. Idiosyncrasy.
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  15. - Top - End - #165
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings VII - Bring Bottled Water, Our Water is Spiked With Love Potion

    Attention everybody. because the fiddler knew who the grapist was everyone gets an internet cookie..........BASK IN ITS GLORY!!!!!!!!!!!
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  16. - Top - End - #166
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    ClericGuy

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings VII - Bring Bottled Water, Our Water is Spiked With Love Potion

    Quote Originally Posted by Lix Lorn View Post
    Ok, what if you're a vampire?
    Then you use Unholy Brain Bleach.

    Quote Originally Posted by CoffeeIncluded View Post
    ...What.

    Okay, seriously?! This is some kind of sick joke, isn't it?! PLEASE LET IT BE A SICK JOKE!!!

    No. I want an explicit description of him getting torn apart and burned alive and hung, drawn, and quartered, and his eyes melted and bubbling out of their sockets and his fingernails torn out and getting castrated with a dull rusty fork and I want his death to last weeks.
    ...*grabs puke bucket*
    I pray that it is just a joke.

    Quote Originally Posted by Silverraptor View Post
    What I love is everyone thought he was being serious!
    Umm... According to her cleric tests, she may end up in rehab, if/when it gets any worse.
    Last edited by Aaron; 2010-02-07 at 08:29 PM.
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  17. - Top - End - #167
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings VII - Bring Bottled Water, Our Water is Spiked With Love Potion

    Quote Originally Posted by Aaron View Post
    Umm... According to her cleric tests, she may end up in rehab, if/when it gets any worse.
    Guys, you might not want to joke about that.

  18. - Top - End - #168
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings VII - Bring Bottled Water, Our Water is Spiked With Love Potion

    Quote Originally Posted by CoffeeIncluded View Post
    Guys, you might not want to joke about that.
    ...

    ...He continued it...
    My own webcomic. Idiosyncrasy.
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  19. - Top - End - #169
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    ClericGuy

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings VII - Bring Bottled Water, Our Water is Spiked With Love Potion

    Quote Originally Posted by CoffeeIncluded View Post
    Guys, you might not want to joke about that.
    OK. She might come to my clerical office, and she will want me to use magic to bring forth her deeply buried Crack Pairing ideas.

    *ding* *idea* Water-Smurf, I need to awaken the plot bunnies deep inside your head, so you can write even more.

    Quote Originally Posted by Silverraptor View Post
    ...

    ...He continued it...
    ...you started it...
    Last edited by Aaron; 2010-02-07 at 08:44 PM.
    Your local Cleric.

    Cleric of the Murphy's Law Thread
    (yes, that is possible)

    "Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines."

  20. - Top - End - #170
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings VII - Bring Bottled Water, Our Water is Spiked With Love Potion

    Uhm, to change the subject...I'm gonna go type up Ian/Bandit leader (Adultery with high heels and black leather, and alcohol thrown in for free) after I finish my latin homework.

  21. - Top - End - #171
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings VII - Bring Bottled Water, Our Water is Spiked With Love Potion

    Quote Originally Posted by Aaron View Post
    ...you started it...
    Ya.

    But you continued it.
    My own webcomic. Idiosyncrasy.
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  22. - Top - End - #172
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings VII - Bring Bottled Water, Our Water is Spiked With Love Potion

    Quote Originally Posted by Silverraptor View Post
    Ya.

    But you continued it.
    *casts Channel Father* I don't care who started it! You both quit it right now, or I'll be the one to finish it. *stern glare*

    *Channel Father wears off* Stupid short duration spells...anyway, the Finale to Miko's Choice is nearly complete and may even be finished tonight. Please note this is may, and depends entirely on the amount of customers that come through here, but it will be up tomorrow at the latest. V-Vgs progresses towards its own conclusion, and I am keeping two versions-
    1) Abridged. This version is approved for young readers and deemed managable for ADD and ADHD readers by the ESRB.
    2) Unabridged. This version is not approved for those who are not lawyers, OCD, compulsive readers, or otherwise prone to actually reading walls of text that resemble the walls of Azure City.
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  23. - Top - End - #173
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    ClericGuy

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings VII - Bring Bottled Water, Our Water is Spiked With Love Potion

    Quote Originally Posted by CoffeeIncluded View Post
    Uhm, to change the subject...I'm gonna go type up Ian/Bandit leader (Adultery with high heels and black leather, and alcohol thrown in for free) after I finish my latin homework.
    Yay!!! I can't wait!

    Quote Originally Posted by Silverraptor View Post
    Ya.

    But you continued it.
    Either way, I'm still eager to awaken Water-Smurf's deepest fearsplot bunnies.
    Your local Cleric.

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  24. - Top - End - #174
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings VII - Bring Bottled Water, Our Water is Spiked With Love Potion

    Alrightey, Ian Starshine/Bandit Leader (Called Will here, with adultery, drunkenness and dominatrix gear!

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    Mia Starshine walked alongside her husband Ian through the forest, her hand resting protectively over her swollen belly.

    "Here, my love," Ian said, indicating a small clearing deep in the grove. "My friend Will is coming; he'll be here soon to escort us the rest of the way."

    Mia smiled and looked at Ian with those bright blue eyes. "He better, the baby's starting to complain."

    Ian leaned down and placed his hand over Mia's. "So did our son enjoy the exercise? Has Hector been kicking a lot today?"

    Mia laughed softly and looked into Ian's eyes. "What if it's a girl?"

    "Nonsense! Hector's my child, of course he'll be a boy. That's just silly, sweetie."

    At that moment the happy silence was pierced by an arrow which embedded itself in the tree above them. Both Ian and Mia jumped to their feet, drawing their swords. Ian then took a look at the arrow, sheathed his blade, and shouted, "Will! I told you not to do that!"

    A slight rustling was heard behind them, and Will dropped down from the treetops with his bow. "Hi, Ian! Hello, Mia! How's Hector doing today? Has he started dancing the placental can-can yet?" Mia shook her head and sighed dramatically, yet could not quite conceal a smile. "Oh, and look at this!" Will produced a large barrel from a Bag of Holding that he carried with him. Ian peered at the label and his eyes grew wide.

    "...No way. This much?!"

    Will's smile grew even broader. "Oh yeah, this is the good stuff." He pulled out a stopper and filled up two mugs, one of which he handed to Ian. He was about to give the other mug to Mia when he stopped and said, "Oh, right. We've got your kid to worry about. My apologies."

    "It's okay, Will. I prefer juice anyway."

    They drank and talked and laughed well into the night; Mia went to sleep as Ian and Will were still chatting. As they talked, the conversation eventually veered to the Thieves' Guild, and Ian mentioned how the new recruit, Bozzok, was very skilled, but ambitious as well. And more than a little perverted. The half-orc had apparently found Hank's stash of Playelf and made off with it; Ian was NOT pleased to have to track those down. Then he showed the collection of high heels, black leather, whips, and other pieces of dominatrix gear that he had found in Bozzok's closet.

    They were drunk; they were beyond drunk. Somehow it went from playful teasing to a drunken bet to the both of them trying out the whips to the both of them trying out the whips on each other to Ian waking up hungover in the morning, naked and next to an equally unclothed Will (Uncomfortably propped up against a bunch of rocks, no less), with all that that implies.

    Contrary to what one would think, Ian remembered exactly what had transpired the night before, and very greatly wished that he had not.

    "Oh dear Gods...Mia's gonna kill me. I'm a dead man."


    Well, what did you think?
    Last edited by CoffeeIncluded; 2010-02-07 at 10:11 PM.

  25. - Top - End - #175
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings VII - Bring Bottled Water, Our Water is Spiked With Love Potion

    Ni-ice one, Coffe!

    You guys are in luck, you need lament no longer! For here I present to you:


    Miko's Heart, Beyond Lawful Good - Part 11 [Fin.]
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    “…MY VOWS! I renew my vows to the Twelve Gods, to protect and serve the citizens, now refugees, of Azure City as a paladin in service of the Twelve. I vow to be true to my oath and my heart with the full weight of my new understanding. I beg forgiveness for my selfishness and seek to make amends, even if the Twelve do not accept my service again. I am no longer a child, but a woman! I am Miko Miyazaki, and I am my own!”

    At first, nothing happens as the echoes of my voice fade. Saangwan sits beaming, and Karla is thoughtful, as the last remnants of sound fade. Before any of us can speak again, a low humming emanates from nowhere and fills the room. Soft blue light fills the space and I feel a familiar presence just as Soon and Matsumo appear in the room. I move to touch Matsumo, but he is not there physically. My heart leaps with joy and sorrow to see him again so, but his smile comforts me as we touch hands without touching. Soon smiles and speaks simply, “Your oath is accepted, Miko. You have fulfilled your quest and atoned for your deeds in the eyes of the Twelve Gods. Rise once more as a paladin in their service, and be true to your heart and the people of Azure City.”

    I feel the presence of the Twelve again, the comfort of their love and support in subtle ways I never realized in my past service. The tears of joy flow freely as my strength returns fully, and I can barely breathe as Matsumo ‘kisses’ my lips. I hear Karla whispering behind me to Saangwan, “No grand speech or—”

    “—stirring plot exposition? I know, even I expected the great Soon to do it," Saangwan finishes in the same whisper. Soon smiles at them both with that familiar smile full of his strong personality and good heart, “Now, now, I’m here on behalf of the Twelve Gods, not some Dungeon Master or web-comic writer. But if you prefer…”

    Saangwan and Karla speak in hurried unison as I giggle, “No! No, really, that’s fine.” And, “Really, it’s fine, you don’t have to.”

    I ask the question that suddenly burns in my heart, “And Windstriker?”

    Soon smiles, “Is glad to once more be your steed to call.”

    I cannot contain that burst of joy from my heart, as pure as any young girl’s, and clap my hands excitedly. I speak from the heart, “Thank you, Lord Soon. Thank you all for helping me. I suppose we’d better get started on helping Hinjo.”

    Karla smiles at the gleam in my eye and nods while Saangwan shakes her head in exasperation. Soon and Matsumo bow and fade to nothing before us, but I find I am not sorrowful. I will not fail to stay my course, and I will see them both again someday. Hopefully not soon, I knew they understood, but someday.

    -----------------------------------

    I ride next to handsome Roy, smiling at his surprise. I am as I should be, riding Windstriker and wearing Karla’s earring, with a small pendant to be in touch with Saangwan. Roy pulls ahead of the party a bit, ignoring their varying comments, to speak to me, “Miko?! Why are you here?”

    I smile, “To help you. Xykon isn’t destroyed once and for all yet, and the people of Azure City will not be safe until he is. I thought we might work well together.”

    Roy speaks slowly, “Wow, and you’re a paladin again. Truth be told, we could use the help. But about—”

    “—the Halfling, it will not be a concern. We can incarcerate him after defeating Xykon truly if it comes to that.”

    “But we have—”

    “—a happy couple that enjoys themselves together nights, and sometimes mid-day, a likable dwarf cleric who will understand just fine, and a wizard I can ignore or get along with as I must.”

    Roy quirks his eyebrow higher with each statement, “O-kay, but what about the two of us? I’m the team leader here and I don’t want a conflict of command. In fact—”

    I lean close and speak softly, “—you’re worried I’ll take charge. I’ll take charge when you want me to, but only when you put me in command.”

    I then lean next to his ear and whisper hotly, “That monk training taught me Improved Grapple you know. I’d be happy to give you a demonstration of the fringe benefits, including Improved Disarm (Social), Improved Disrobe, and Improved Trip (Into Bed).”

    Roy’s face becomes hot, but he does not exactly blush…he seems too…eager?...for that. He coughs into his hand, “Yes, well, I’ll have to talk to someone about that first. Either way, welcome to the team.”

    He bellows powerfully back to the others, “Miko is joining us in the fight against Xykon, I expect you to treat her like another member. Wait, no, I expect you not to treat her like another member, but as an honored representative of Azure City. Wait…dammit, it doesn’t matter what I expect, you all will treat her with respect. And maybe learn some for each other while you’re at it.”

    Elan and Haley whisper to each other in an excited manner as Durkon calls, “Welcome, lass, we could use a bit more sense an’ a bit less foolery!”

    The annoying Halfling interjects lewdly, “Hey Roy, planning on making a donation of ‘Treasure Type O’? I’m sure the treasury’s open for tithing to summon the Beast with Two Backs for you. You know, you two could bump those logs down out of your uptight butts while you’re at it!”

    The Halfling continues his rambling chain of inane babble as Roy ignores him and turns to the elf with a grimace, “Please tell me you prepared Silence today.”

    The elf shakes its head and postulates, “As a part of your request for less overt bickering you could discern and more subtle means of infighting I have not prepared Silence on this particular day. Nor do I have any scrolls of the aforementioned spell with which to quiet our diminutive nuisance as he uses Combat Reflexes to make attacks of opportunity against your dignity, which I find immensely preferable to his usual blather.”

    Roy grunts and mutters under his breath before bellowing again, “Dammit, that wasn't what I... -- Fine, whatever, but don’t make me come back there. Because I don’t care who starts it, I will finish it! Elan! Haley! That means you two too! Less Dexterity checks and more coaxing the rides to our next destination.”

    I cannot hide my grin as I bump ‘accidentally’ against Roy and breathe hotly in his ear, “Hm, such a strong father figure. Sounds like you could use a mother in their lives.”

    Roy sighs and covers his face with one hand, “Oh, not you too. What did I do to deserve this?”

    I smile happily and give him breathing room for now. I’ll have plenty of time in pursuit. Today is truly a wonder day to be a paladin!
    Last edited by NemoUtopia; 2010-02-07 at 10:45 PM. Reason: grammar gremlins...they suck
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  26. - Top - End - #176
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings VII - Bring Bottled Water, Our Water is Spiked With Love Potion

    Quote Originally Posted by The Dark Fiddler View Post
    Is that MiTDxGender-Switched MiTD?
    Yes, or just a women from his species.
    IA Awards
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    Awesome SpyFox Doll by Recaiden
    Epic Avvie by Domochevsky
    Everything Else by Me

  27. - Top - End - #177
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings VII - Bring Bottled Water, Our Water is Spiked With Love Potion

    Quote Originally Posted by CoffeeIncluded View Post
    Well, what did you think?

    I think she probably woke up, watched for a while, then took pictures for blackmailing purposes.
    This post may contain sarcasm.
    DeviantArt

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings VII - Bring Bottled Water, Our Water is Spiked With Love Potion

    Quote Originally Posted by CoffeeIncluded View Post
    Alrightey, Ian Starshine/Bandit Leader (Called Will here, with adultery, drunkenness and dominatrix gear!

    Spoiler
    Show

    Mia Starshine walked alongside her husband Ian through the forest, her hand resting protectively over her swollen belly.

    "Here, my love," Ian said, indicating a small clearing deep in the grove. "My friend Will is coming; he'll be here soon to escort us the rest of the way."

    Mia smiled and looked at Ian with those bright blue eyes. "He better, the baby's starting to complain."

    Ian leaned down and placed his hand over Mia's. "So did our son enjoy the exercise? Has Hector been kicking a lot today?"

    Mia laughed softly and looked into Ian's eyes. "What if it's a girl?"

    "Nonsense! Hector's my child, of course he'll be a boy. That's just silly, sweetie."

    At that moment the happy silence was pierced by an arrow which embedded itself in the tree above them. Both Ian and Mia jumped to their feet, drawing their swords. Ian then took a look at the arrow, sheathed his blade, and shouted, "Will! I told you not to do that!"

    A slight rustling was heard behind them, and Will dropped down from the treetops with his bow. "Hi, Ian! Hello, Mia! How's Hector doing today? Has he started dancing the placental can-can yet?" Mia shook her head and sighed dramatically, yet could not quite conceal a smile. "Oh, and look at this!" Will produced a large barrel from a Bag of Holding that he carried with him. Ian peered at the label and his eyes grew wide.

    "...No way. This much?!"

    Will's smile grew even broader. "Oh yeah, this is the good stuff." He pulled out a stopper and filled up two mugs, one of which he handed to Ian. He was about to give the other mug to Mia when he stopped and said, "Oh, right. We've got your kid to worry about. My apologies."

    "It's okay, Will. I prefer juice anyway."

    They drank and talked and laughed well into the night; Mia went to sleep as Ian and Will were still chatting. As they talked, the conversation eventually veered to the Thieves' Guild, and Ian mentioned how the new recruit, Bozzok, was very skilled, but ambitious as well. And more than a little perverted. The half-orc had apparently found Hank's stash of Playelf and made off with it; Ian was NOT pleased to have to track those down. Then he showed the collection of high heels, black leather, whips, and other pieces of dominatrix gear that he had found in Bozzok's closet.

    They were drunk; they were beyond drunk. Somehow it went from playful teasing to a drunken bet to the both of them trying out the whips to the both of them trying out the whips on each other to Ian waking up hungover in the morning, naked and next to an equally unclothed Will (Uncomfortably propped up against a bunch of rocks, no less), with all that that implies.

    Contrary to what one would think, Ian remembered exactly what had transpired the night before, and very greatly wished that he had not.

    "Oh dear Gods...Mia's gonna kill me. I'm a dead man."


    Well, what did you think?
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  29. - Top - End - #179
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    Lix Lorn's Avatar

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    Miko's Choice-YAY HAPPY ENDING! ^_^
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  30. - Top - End - #180
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    The ABD is at it again! *Get's dragged away by the tail*

    ...I might have something later this week, we see then.

    *Get's dragged into a swamp*

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