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    Firbolg in the Playground
     
    Asta Kask's Avatar

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    Default 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    1) I may not play an elf cook named Falafiel, who wields a frying pan as his primary weapon

    2) Nor may I play an undead houri minotaur

    3) Nor an Oriental cook named Sashimi Hirimaki
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    "Roughly half of humanity is in denial regarding their own stupidity" (V.S.Ramachandran)

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    Optimystik's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    Are we supposed to continue the list?

    4) I am not allowed to be a misunderstood rebel Drow, yearning to defend a world that hates and fears my kind.

    5) I am not allowed to stand idly by while the BBEG completes his tortuously long and involved transformation sequence.

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    Firbolg in the Playground
     
    Asta Kask's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    Yes. You are supposed to continue. This thread was inspired by the identical thread on the SJG forums.

    6) I am not allowed to shoot the BBEG before he has finished his dramatic speech.

    7) Especially if I would kill him in one shot.
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    Proud child of the Enlightenment

    Drinking provokes nose-painting, sleep, and urine.

    "Roughly half of humanity is in denial regarding their own stupidity" (V.S.Ramachandran)

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    Orc in the Playground
     
    Iceforge's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    8) Streaking the throne room

    9) Having big secrets like "I am actually an evil wizard who was just pretending to be a good paladin" SPECIALLY not if this is a secret from the GM as well

    10) No matter how welsh my characters name is, I am not allowed to buy sheep to form a "harem"
    Last edited by Iceforge; 2010-02-17 at 01:13 PM.

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    Dwarf in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    11) I am not allowed to polymorph, use metamorphosis, shapechange or even alter self.
    Last edited by D-naras; 2010-02-17 at 01:13 PM.

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    Harperfan7's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    12) That counter dividing the kitchen from the restaraunt may as well be the Himalayas because I'm not allowed to jump it.

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    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Ormagoden's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    13) I am not allowed to play oriental men over 6 feet tall.
    14) I am not allowed to name my character after any mortal kombat characters
    15) I cannot cast Ragnarok
    16) I cannot throw party members who are smaller than me at the enemy
    17) I am not allowed to explain the commoner railgun in any detail to anyone at the table at any time
    18) I am not allowed to play a cyber ninja
    19) I am not allowed to play a duskblade that has access to true strike AND arcane strike
    20) I am not allowed to make my own problems so I can solve them over the course of many sessions
    21) I cannot use staggering strike unless I have the page for it open
    Last edited by Ormagoden; 2010-02-17 at 01:30 PM.

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    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    DwarfFighterGuy

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    22) If even one player at the table cannot say my character's name with a straight face, I am not allowed to use that name.

    23) I am not allowed to name my Greek-themed hero Testicles.

    24) My casters are not allowed to assign custom names to their spells just so they can shout them out manga/anime style with every casting.

    25) Next time I shout out "TENTACLE RAPE!!" when I cast Black Tentacles my alignment will instantly shift to Chaotic Evil and I will be smited by my LG God.

    26) Same goes for using the line "OPEN WIDE AND SUCK ON MY ROD!!" when I use a metamagic rod.

    27) I will stop instigating racial hatred between dwarves and elves in a setting where they happen to get along just fine.

    28) I am not allowed a Necklace of Fireballs, ever, for any reason. In fact they no longer exist in the setting.
    Last edited by Choco; 2010-02-17 at 01:34 PM.
    Been there, fought that, died horribly.

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    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Felyndiira's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    29) I am not allowed to use the disintegrate spell on platforms under the BBEG, walls, ceilings, and anything other than enemies and enemy weapons.

    30) In the event that I come across a castle in the road, in no circumstances will I bypass the castle to fulfill my character's personal goals.

    31) I cannot defeat the gazebo.
    Last edited by Felyndiira; 2010-02-17 at 01:42 PM.

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    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Ormagoden's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    32) (the real number were on)
    I am not allowed to buy more trade goods than can fit in one wagon
    33) I cannot build anything using rigger 3
    Last edited by Ormagoden; 2010-02-17 at 01:33 PM.

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    Firbolg in the Playground
     
    Math_Mage's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    34) Can't use a name with more than 10 different consonants or 5 of the same one.
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  12. - Top - End - #12
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    ElfMonkGuy

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    35) I am not allowed to declare my character to be the son of a candlemaker and get a free Candle of Invocation.
    36) I am not allowed to give my character any name that has more special characters than letters.
    Last edited by Melamoto; 2010-02-17 at 01:35 PM.
    Give me any character, and I will give you a freeform conversion.

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    Bugbear in the Playground
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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    Quote Originally Posted by Iceforge View Post

    10) No matter how welsh my characters name is, I am not allowed to buy sheep to form a "harem"
    Just throwing this out there to combat the orientalism. A harem is not a place for wanton sexuality. A good way to think of it is as arabic or turkish for the european concept of a home. It is the private place a family goes. It comes from the roots hrm which are part of words meaning things like sacred, private, holy, etc.


    Even for the Sultan, it was not a place for him to go bang a dozen chicks. Or sheep, in this case.

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    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    SwashbucklerGuy

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    37) It doesn't matter if the rules allow it, outrunning F1 racecars is wrong.
    38) I am no longer allowed to have my characters wear glasses of any size, shape or color.

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    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    drengnikrafe's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    39) My backstory must make sense for the character level, and is not allowed to include the words "level drain". Furthermore, I can't just have amnesia and forget all the cool stuff I learned when I leveled up.
    40) If my character's name involves any of the following words: "Badass, Laser, Awesome, Fish, Killer, or Slaughter", I will be forced to rename him.

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    Titan in the Playground
     
    Greenish's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    Quote Originally Posted by Seatbelt View Post
    Just throwing this out there to combat the orientalism. A harem is not a place for wanton sexuality. A good way to think of it is as arabic or turkish for the european concept of a home. It is the private place a family goes. It comes from the roots hrm which are part of words meaning things like sacred, private, holy, etc.


    Even for the Sultan, it was not a place for him to go bang a dozen chicks. Or sheep, in this case.
    I'm sure he meant that his character is going to settle down to be a sheep farmer. You and your dirty mind brought up "banging the sheep". Eew. You ought to be ashamed of yourself.















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    Orc in the Playground
     
    Poil's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    41) I'm not allowed to summon up spirits to posses fellow party members.
    42) I'm not allowed to hire hackers to upload pedo pictures to club owners computer systems.
    43) I'm not allowed to play a dwarf.
    44) I'm not allowed to play evil, ever.
    45) I'm not allowed to set things on fire.
    46) I'm not allowed to play a sexcrazed nymphomaniac lesbian fey. Elf is fine.
    47) I'm not allowed to carry an elephant rifle on the streets.
    48) I'm not allowed to be overpowered, even if the dm was the one who helped me optimize my character.
    49) I'm not allowed to pick Kane (from c&c) as a deity.
    50) I'm not allowed to set party members on fire.
    51) I'm not allowed to loot good stuff such as operation tables, beer kegs or store merchandise.
    52) I'm not allowed to halt the dungeon crawl to put my skill points in mining to use on ore deposits.
    53) I'm not allowed to chose the flaw phobia: elephants.
    54) I'm not allowed to play a scorpion-centaur.

    I'm going to stop here now.
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    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Zom B's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    55) I am not allowed to play a Kobold Sor1/Egoist 13 with a viper familiar.
    Zombitar courtesy of Djinn_In_Tonic.

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    Orc in the Playground
     
    Poil's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    56) I'm not allowed to chop off orc testicles and brew them into magic potions.
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    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    randomhero00's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    57- I am not allowed to fake torture NPCs cause ya know, that'd be taking roleplaying an evil PC too far. Its not like we're playing a game of gratuitous violence.

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    Troll in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    58. I am not allowed to be more powerful than the rest of my party combined.
    Halfling healer avatar by Akrim.elf.

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    Barbarian in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    59) I am not allowed to use Magic Mouth to make the meager-minded sword flinger's sword scream "Help meeeeeeee!"

    60) I am not allowed to use Glyph of Warding on another party member's bedroll.

    61) I am not allowed to introduce modern labor practices and change the world economy for my benefit.

    62) As a GM, I am not allowed, ever, access to dragons, gnomes, and/or small fuzzy animals that could be termed "cute but deadly."
    Last edited by Cyrion; 2010-02-17 at 03:28 PM.
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    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    MindFlayer

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    Quote Originally Posted by Lostfang View Post
    16) I cannot throw party members who are smaller than me at the enemy
    19) I am not allowed to play a duskblade that has access to true strike AND arcane strike
    20) I am not allowed to make my own problems so I can solve them over the course of many sessions
    20 IS the plot of more than one campaign I currently have going. Not intentionally, but still...
    16 is a common tactic in our evil campaign. Bugbear Fighter throwing the halfling Barbarian.
    I play 19. it's worth it.
    Quote Originally Posted by Artanis View Post
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    "There is no overkill, there is only 'open fire' and 'I need to reload.'" - Howard Tayler

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    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    DwarfFighterGuy

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    63) If another player is playing a child, I will not play a pedophile just to create "dramatic tension", even if the player of the child is only doing so to abuse obscure stat boost/aging rules and deserves it.

    64) Nothing about my character can make the DM and/or anyone else at the table physically uncomfortable.

    65) Nothing about my character can be a reference to an obscure in-joke that makes me and/or anyone else at the table chuckle every time it comes up.

    66) I am not allowed to use Mindrape on other party members, even if the target is chaotic stupid and the rest of the party is in full support.

    67) I am not allowed to use Mindrape ever, for any reason. In fact the spell no longer exists.

    68) I am not allowed to create a pure CW Samurai character to kill the party wizard AND cleric, at the same time, just becasue I got bored and wanted to show them how unoptimized they are.

    69) I am not allowed to create a barbarian if there is already a fighter in the party.

    70) I am not allowed to instigate fights between party members just to see who will win.

    71) I am not allowed to instigate a fight between the halfling and another player's mount just to make a Belkar reference.

    72) My centaur character is not allowed to have a human parent and a horse parent.
    Last edited by Choco; 2010-02-17 at 04:44 PM.
    Been there, fought that, died horribly.

    Something fun and flavorful to get your DM throwing books at you: Katana Chucker



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    Ettin in the Playground
     
    Godskook's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    73)I am no longer allowed to put ranks in Diplomacy so that I can turn the campaign's BBEG into my cohort.

    74)I am no longer allowed to put ranks in Handle Animal or use wild empathy checks so I can tame every Tarresque I find.

    75)After next session, I will no longer be allowed to put ranks in Perform(See #73).

    76)I am no longer allowed to utter the word 'dinosaur' during character creation, *especially* in Eberron campaigns.

    77)I am not allowed to buy scrolls of PAO, even if I can afford them.
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    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Ormur's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    78) I'm not allowed to give my wizard a perfectly mundane name, unless it's after a Jazz musician.

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    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    DruidGuy

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    79) The answer to a problem is not "livestock", and the answer to the problems caused by my previous answer is not "even more livestock".

  28. - Top - End - #28
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Bouregard's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    80) I'm not allowed to sell dungeon furniture. Looting goldcoins is fine, taking the adamantite door is not.
    Last edited by Bouregard; 2010-02-17 at 04:26 PM.
    Two rules get you through life:
    1. If it's stuck and it's not supposed to be, WD-40 it.
    2. If it's not stuck and it's supposed to be, duct tape it

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    Firbolg in the Playground
     
    AstralFire's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    It's like Skippy's List, but not as funny.
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    My trading post is fully stocked with 5-6 IV Adamant Gale Wing Fletchlings; also offering 4-5 IV Eevees, Dratinis, Bulbasaurs, Squirtles, Swinubs, Venipedes, Honedges, Lillipups, Absols, Larvesta, Lanturns, 3-5 IV Rotoms and more. I don't require anything in return for what I trade you, generally speaking.
    If you see a Shiny Talonflame burninating your dudes, it might be mine. His name's Agni Kai. Isn't he cute? n_n

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    Ogre in the Playground
     
    DwarfClericGuy

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    81) I am not allowed to bluff the party wizard with high diplomacy into believing something so he can, in turn, use that high diplomacy skill to make the NPC with high insight believe him all because he actually believes in the lie I told him originally.

    82) I may not bluff the monster into believing it's dead, not even on a 20. Even if the final result is a 31 a level 1.

    83) I am no longer allowed to make characters with short term memory loss.

    84) Regardless of how funny it is my gnome is not allowed to ride a german shephard as a mount.

    85) My gnome also cannot wear all green and speak with an irish accent.

    86) When I'm presented with the main plot hook of the game I am not allowed to answer "No thanks, I think I'd rather just stay home and play out my day to day life."

    87) I am no longer allowed to barter with dragons.

    88) I'm not allowed to use Alien 3 as an arguement that fire + ice should force a fortitude save or cause instant death.

    (well, we can't all be skippy, so this'll have to make due)
    Last edited by Sipex; 2010-02-17 at 04:41 PM.

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