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  1. Top - End - #61
    Troll in the Playground
     
    CrimsonAngel's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    1401. I am not allowed to have a one night stand with the DM's sister.
    Last edited by CrimsonAngel; 2010-02-17 at 08:57 PM.
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  2. Top - End - #62
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Blas_de_Lezo's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    142. My DM didn't allow me to play with a halfling rogue because of the name I chose: Limoncito Amargo (roughly meaning "Little BitterLemon")
    Last edited by Blas_de_Lezo; 2010-02-17 at 09:02 PM.

  3. Top - End - #63
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    Zombieninja's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    143 I may never base my character off of an xman
    144 not even if it fits the setting
    Query: why?

    IT'S HERE

  4. Top - End - #64
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
    DracoDei's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    Quote Originally Posted by Lostfang View Post
    16) I cannot throw party members who are smaller than me at the enemy
    16b.) Throwing party members who are LARGER than me at the enemy is right out. (Actually it is totally awesome, but so are about 20% of the other ideas on this thread, so...)
    Best homebrew:
    Grace-Gift - Truly Defensive base class, Falling Anvil Discipline - Loony Slapstick as Martial Art, Mepholk - Snuggly skunk-people. , Wing Dragon Masters of flight Comment HERE, Organ Undead Mega-Thread livers, skins, etc.
    Filk: 4000 Years(to live)
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    For everything else see: Full list of Homebrew.
    My Homebrew is meant to be used, but, if you do, PLEASE tell me how it goes.

  5. Top - End - #65
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    NinjaGuy

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    145. I am not allowed to play as GLaDOS.
    Dimir member in good evil standing.

    Member of the Evil League of Evil.

    Browncoat. Because no power in the 'verse can stop us.

    Member in good contested standing of the Mammal Club.

    Honorary turtle. See above.

  6. Top - End - #66
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    MoriHikari's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    146. I am no longer allowed to ask the local temples what their religon/god could offer me in terms of a benifits package.

    147. putting my characters name down in the god worshipped space will get me smote and thus is not allowed.
    We are Here. We are One. We are the Playground.

  7. Top - End - #67
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Geno9999's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    148: I can't buy a sword that is heavier than my character.

    149: Cannot shout "LEEEEROY JENKINS!!!" whenever I enter a battle

    150: Cannot have a battlecry shouted in the room at all.
    you know that I'm more than just a doll do you?-Geno
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    by Thecrimsonmage and By Shades of Gray by Akrim.elf

    and current made by me.

  8. Top - End - #68
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    drengnikrafe's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    Quote Originally Posted by AslanCross View Post
    106) I am not allowed to leave the table in the middle of a serious strategic discussion and then return to the table shouting "LEEEEEEROOOOOY JENNNNKIIIIIINSSS!" after which I charge into the dungeon/booby-trapped room/dragon's lair/Abyss.
    Quote Originally Posted by Geno9999 View Post
    149: Cannot shout "LEEEEROY JENKINS!!!" whenever I enter a battle
    151: I will not ignore my party members when they say things anymore...

  9. Top - End - #69
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Groundhog's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    152: My character may not have more than two races.
    153: If said character must have more than one race, I may not use my character's mixed heritage as a premise for a tragic backstory.
    Last edited by Groundhog; 2010-02-17 at 11:37 PM.

    BRC gave me this commiepuppy. Thanks!

    Timeless Error stole all the things that I could possibly be mistaken for. *happy dances*

    I made my avatar. If you want to see other stuff I made, click here.

  10. Top - End - #70
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    Dire Moose's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    154. If the campaign is a serious storyline full of action and intrigue, I am not allowed to play a 400-pound transgender halfling named "Mort Periwinkle the Second." Same goes for a druid named Snappy FiveSmax whose reason for adventure was "I had a bet going with the koalas" and had a camel randomly airdropped in as her companion.

    And yes, these were both actual attempts at creating characters in the early stages of my campaign. I was not amused.
    Last edited by Dire Moose; 2010-03-02 at 06:54 AM.
    LGBTAitp

  11. Top - End - #71
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    The Dark Fiddler's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    155. I may not abuse the absurdity but technical legality of applying several "Half x" templates to a Half-Elf or Half-Orc.

    156. I am no longer allowed more than one template and cannot play Half-Elves or Half-Orcs.

    157. In fact, just forget templates altogether.
    Homebrew: The Guardian | Combat Pragmatist
    Animorphs-styled morphing rules for the Fate Core system!
    Coming Soon(?): WarMunchies, a candy-based wargame | Pokemon Four Suits

    The best answer is always to ask your DM.
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  12. Top - End - #72
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    jolus's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    158. I am not allowed to use abbr.

  13. Top - End - #73
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Ormagoden's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    Quote Originally Posted by Metalhead View Post
    102. I am not allowed to do anything on this thread or anything similar. Not even if I have a legitimate backstory for it.
    AHHAHHAHHAHHAHAHAHA


    159. I am not to shout "This ones for you Morph!" Every time I sneak attack an enemy.

    160. None of my weapons make the Snick sound when I unsheathe them.
    Last edited by Ormagoden; 2010-02-18 at 11:37 AM.

  14. Top - End - #74
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    AssassinGuy

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    161) My character is not pyramid head

    162) my cohort is not pyramid head

    163) I am not to turn major cities into silent hill style hell holes

    163) Bringing a chunk of the abyss to my home forest is frowned upon by the druid council.

    164) My Sorcerer/Dread witch/Nightmare spinner is not a more effective version of a druid just because anyone wanting to harm my forest defecates in their britches before they can do any real damage.

    165) I will not have theme songs.

    166) If my character is more horrifying than the BBEG, I cannot usurp his position.

    167) I will not "Drag the party to hell" just because my character is a heartless monster/tragic villain and I wanted a morally ambiguous campaign.

    168) I will not abuse absorb fear and my undead immunities to give my fear effects +37 to caster level, or to cast mind rape 147 times per round...when it isn't my turn.

    169) Any cohort with the uber-charger build will be smote.

    170) My harem and monstrous army ARE mutually exclusive. No exceptions.

    171) I cannot harness fear as an arcane power source in order to boost my physical stats into the 100's.

    172) I will not orchestrate strange mind-fornication pranks via use of my slender man character and my friend who is easily 7' in height.

    173) If the DM is no longer willing to be in the same room as me until I stop roleplaying, I will not expect bonus XP.

    174) Sanity is not necisarily for the weak

    175) I will not abuse prestige class abilities to intimidate Strahd.

  15. Top - End - #75
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    iElf's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    176) I will not quote monty python
    177) I WILL NOT QUOTE MONTY PYTHON! (oww, stop shouting)

    thanks beansy!
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  16. Top - End - #76
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    purple gelatinous cube o' Doom's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    178) When I play a druid, I may no longer have a dire tiger as my animal companion (3.5).
    Grinning Purple Gelatinous Cube avatar courtesy of Lord_Herman
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  17. Top - End - #77
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    Felyndiira's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    179. 2 + 2 does not equal 22.

    180. I am not allowed to play an advocate of democracy in a medieval fantasy.

    181. Explosive Metamagic cannot be attached to divination spells.

    182. In no circumstances will I line more than 50 peasants in a single file and give them a 10-foot pole.

    183. I will not play a 10-year-old dragonborn girl with a rod of wonder.

    184. If my erudite attempts to seek out a wizard with mental pinnacle, I will be defenestrated by a copy of Complete Psionics.

    185. Magical girl is not a valid prestige class.

    186. The use of maneuvers to end "DM's Girlfriend" is strictly forbidden.

    187. MY NAME IS ALWAYS HUGE.

    188. Polymorph Any Object is not able to produce any of the following: rail guns, rocket launchers, meteors, nuclear warheads, Jesus, blood of virgins, varia suits, marijuana, sodium, or zippo cat.

    189. In the event that I play a heartwarder, I may not take the leadership feat and wear black corsets.

    190. Being drunk does not make me immune to being dead.

    191. "Have a p*n*s" is not a valid flaw.

    192. If I purchase or possess any more than 20 chickens, I am no longer allowed near flammable substances.

    193. A katana is not immune to sunder, disarm, missing, or the status "I am not on fire."

    194. If I meet a cleric, I will not attempt to use my diplomacy skill to convert him to the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

    195. BESM: My mechs are not allowed to take the "Owns a Mecca" ability.
    Last edited by Felyndiira; 2010-02-18 at 02:05 PM.

  18. Top - End - #78
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    MoriHikari's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    196. I am no longer allowed to refer to the half orc in the party as my animal companion

    197. if I insist on calling him that I am not to complain about any broken arms, legs, teeth or unstoppable bleeding that may occur
    We are Here. We are One. We are the Playground.

  19. Top - End - #79
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Hyozo's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    198: After the last incident, whip feather tokens are retroactively nonexistent.

    199: The fact that rust monsters pose no threat to the party do to the lack of metal use also means they are not a challenge, which means no experience may be gained by overcoming them. So no, the party may not become epic via rust monster genocide.

    200: I am not allowed to team up with an NPC who was supposed to be my personal rival, immediately upon their introduction, to fight two of the other PCs ever again.

    To be fair, I had a perfectly good reason, and the other PCs deserved it.
    Last edited by Hyozo; 2010-02-18 at 02:49 PM.
    Avatar by Vulion. Vectored by me.

  20. Top - End - #80
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    BlueKnightGuy

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    201. After charging madly into battle and shouting 'LEEEROY JEEENKIINNNS!' just to piss off the WoW addict, I will not say "Least I have chicken" at the end of the resulting slaughter. I do not, and if I do it will be taken away.
    Last edited by Solaris; 2010-02-18 at 02:50 PM.
    I think I've had enough for a while.

  21. Top - End - #81
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
    DracoDei's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    Quote Originally Posted by Felyndiira View Post
    185. Magical girl is not a valid prestige class.
    Of course it isn't... Sentai is a base class.

    Also:
    ((old 202 and 203 moved to THIS thread))

    202. Picking up small children with your tail to give them "dragon-back rides" is frowned upon, even if you never leave the ground and move them around quite slowly and gently and the country has both humans and dragons co-existing (mostly) peacefully.
    Last edited by DracoDei; 2010-02-18 at 03:18 PM.
    Best homebrew:
    Grace-Gift - Truly Defensive base class, Falling Anvil Discipline - Loony Slapstick as Martial Art, Mepholk - Snuggly skunk-people. , Wing Dragon Masters of flight Comment HERE, Organ Undead Mega-Thread livers, skins, etc.
    Filk: 4000 Years(to live)
    Running: Ruceeglaelsktinag: "Justifiable Genocide", Contradiction in terms? IC OOC Active Map: None.
    For everything else see: Full list of Homebrew.
    My Homebrew is meant to be used, but, if you do, PLEASE tell me how it goes.

  22. Top - End - #82
    Orc in the Playground
     
    OldWizardGuy

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    203. After much whining, I am allowed a single Monty Python reference per campaign, but only one per source.

    204. I cannot create homebrew material for said reference.

    205. If my character dies while fulfilling the reference, I cannot have a new one until the next campaign.

    206. The previous rule extends to the campaign after the next if my character reenacts the last scene from Life of Brian.

    207. The reference cannot involve a class feature for my character, ESPECIALLY not a familiar.

    208. It doesn't matter if I'm not saying any quotes, my Dread Necromancer doesn't get a Zombie Parrot as a familiar.

    209. I can never again trick the DM into making my reference for me, especially not by declaring my character to be the Messiah.

    210. Ok, screw it; No more references!

  23. Top - End - #83
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Ranger Mattos's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    211. I am no longer allowed to use a chicken as a weapon
    Avatar by me. My PM box is always open, for avatars, or just talking.

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    Neutral Good Elf Druid/Cleric (1st/1st Level)
    Futhark rune by Icewalker.

    Quote Originally Posted by Dragonprime View Post
    Wouldn't a bulb only be sharp if someone broke it? Oh...wait...that's actually very fitting for this situation. Well played Ranger Mattos. Your metaphor-crafting is masterful indeed.

  24. Top - End - #84
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    MoriHikari's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    212. while playing a rouge, I will no longer try to steal people's pants during battle

    213. in addition, no matter how sneaky I am, If I do attempt to steal the pants right off the bad guy, he will notice me doing so...
    Last edited by MoriHikari; 2010-02-18 at 05:15 PM.
    We are Here. We are One. We are the Playground.

  25. Top - End - #85
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    NecromancerGuy

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    214. I will not make 7 different types of undead from 1 corpse.

    215. There is no such thing as an adamantine toilet.

    216. Adamantine toilets do not do enough damage to knock out the sorcerer when he kicks it.

    217. Skeletons cannot form mariachi bands.

    218. Aquatic elves do not ask if you'd like to "Rides de shoopuff?"

    219. Keeping kobolds impaled on your lance as trophies is in bad taste.

    220. I will not smoke EVERY bush/plant/tree in sight.

    221. I will not use a ring of invisibilty to drop yogurt on passersby from the rooftop while making pidgeon noises.

    222. There is no such thing as a were-cow.

    223. "Ehlonna's Seed Pouch" is not to be referred to as "Ehlonna's N*t Sack"
    "To play a fighter is to play the game.
    To play a wizard is to understand the rules.
    To understand the rules, and play a fighter, is to understand the game."
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    My Homebrew

  26. Top - End - #86
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    The Dark Fiddler's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    Quote Originally Posted by Jarrick View Post
    218. Aquatic elves do not ask if you'd like to "Rides de shoopuff?"
    224. I am not allowed any more Final Fantasy references. This includes, but is not limited to characters with names from the series (Cloud, Leon), characters with similar backgrounds (Warriors of Light, Summoners on a Pilgrimage), and calling attacks with similar names (Ultima, Omnislah).

    225. The previous rule now applies to 8-Bit Theater and Cactuar and Tonberry.

    226. The above rule now applies to any webcomic and video game whatsoever. Don't try for getting books, movies, and shows banned too.
    Homebrew: The Guardian | Combat Pragmatist
    Animorphs-styled morphing rules for the Fate Core system!
    Coming Soon(?): WarMunchies, a candy-based wargame | Pokemon Four Suits

    The best answer is always to ask your DM.
    Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.

  27. Top - End - #87
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    Dire Moose's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    227) Level-advancing cards in Munchkin (like "Whine at the GM") were not intended as actual suggestions.
    Last edited by Dire Moose; 2010-02-18 at 08:10 PM.
    LGBTAitp

  28. Top - End - #88
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Geno9999's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Mattos View Post
    211. I am no longer allowed to use a chicken as a weapon
    228: I will NOT, EVER, UNDER THE PAIN OF CHARACTER DEATH... attack the chickens because it's funny.

    229: If the chicken does attack first, I am not allowed to abuse it.

    230: JUST DON'T EVER SUMMON THE CHICKEN DEATH SQUAD AT ALL!!! (Hot Wing division.)

    231: i can no longer use shift or capslock whenever i type.
    you know that I'm more than just a doll do you?-Geno
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    by Thecrimsonmage and By Shades of Gray by Akrim.elf

    and current made by me.

  29. Top - End - #89
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    OldWizardGuy

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    232: Being a Drow is not a capitol offense
    233: It is also not punishable by 8 Bestow Curse's, Hold Person, Charm Monster and Gaes.
    234: Especially not if they are PC's.
    234b: "Numpty" is not Draconic for "drow".
    235: I may not strand my rival outside of the galaxy.
    235b: Especially not by simply choosing to allow him to do what he has planned.
    236: I am not allowed to equip enemy Orks with Heavy Bolters because "It'll be funny, just watch!"

  30. Top - End - #90
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    Talon Sky's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    As a PLAYER:

    237: I am not allowed to take Skill Focus on any skill ever again.

    238: I am not allowed to use my ridiculous Bluff skill to convince the king his daughter got herself pregnant because she has actually been replaced by some kind of asexual evil outsider.

    239: I may not name my weapons "A**reamer".

    240: I may not use a pick again, especially with the feats Weapon Focus/Specialization (pick) and Improved Critical (pick).

    241: I am not allowed to play a Barbarian whose name is Me-Gusta Boooom, especially if those are the only words in Common he can speak and his preferred battlecry.

    242: Ring of Three Wishes has it's limits, and I cannot affect the other party member's genitals in any way. *sadface*

    As a DM:

    243: I cannot affect the other party member's genitals in any way. *sadface*

    244: Silent Hill is not an appropriate name for the undead city.

    245: The BBEG's signature spell can be "Kamehameha", however if his name is also Goku, then the players are allowed to throw their PH's at me.

    246: Every single intelligent monster race cannot have it's own cult devoted to a strangely ambiguous god.

    247: I cannot call the Drow 'Sin'dorai' just to tick off the WoW players.

    248: I am not allowed to flick open the MM to a random page and force the players to encounter what's on the page. Sometimes, the fight is easy. Usually....

    249: A wizard raising an army of Melted Adamantine Oozes is only funny (as hell) to me.

    250: Said oozes cannot also be immune to the Wish spell, simply because the wizard used his own Wish spell to make them that way. Especially if I haven't stated so beforehand.
    Drow Samurai avatar by Ranger Mattos![/CENTER]

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