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  1. - Top - End - #901
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    Lord Raziere's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    2464: My character cannot see the future.
    2465: No my character cannot have a talking cat, said cat cannot love fish, and yes you need to have an explanation for why the cat is talking
    2466: My pacifistic healer is not allowed to put on a superhero costume and fight supervillains in a medieval setting.
    2467: My former pacifistic healer-then-superhero, is then not allowed to become a metal rockstar in a medieval setting
    2468: No, my character cannot have a half-orc girlfriend who everyone keeps saying is ugly because of the fangs on her lower jaw
    2469: said half-orc girlfriend is not allowed to be the center of any prophecy or story, ever.
    2470: Assuming that I am ever allowed to make a character that can see the future, he will use his powers responsibly and not manipulate everyone like puppets.
    2471: My character can never again get a free vacation just because they decided to overreact for no reason
    2472: however the future-seeing character can get punched in the balls whenever it is deemed necessary, and such things are unfortunately always necessary
    2473: No making my paladin character completely and totally evil for no reason just because I'm playing him ironically and want people to disagree with him
    2474: My character's concept can NEVER be "heroic rapist" Ever.
    2475: Furthermore as a DM, I am never ever allowed to run a long campaign through wastes populated by herbivorous orcs, ever again.

    Obviously not mine, can you guess who REALLY did these stupid things?
    Monkey Playwright of the Improbability Drive Fan Club, Regardless, orcs should be people.

    Raziere Watches: One Piece Weariless In Water 7: Part 6, UP!



  2. - Top - End - #902
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
    Asta Kask's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    2476: I may not fondle the GM.
    Avatar by CoffeeIncluded

    Proud child of the Enlightenment

    Drinking provokes nose-painting, sleep, and urine.

    "Roughly half of humanity is in denial regarding their own stupidity" (V.S.Ramachandran)

  3. - Top - End - #903
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    Q'telun's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    2477. As DM, I am no longer allowed to use Half-Fiend Great Wyrm Red dragons for anything
    2478. Or any other half-fiend chromatic dragon for that matter
    2479. I will not create a weapon of pure evil capable of wiping out civilization, and then give it to the psychopathic ogre.
    Happiness is the most insidious prison of all.
    -Alan Moore
    Vemrya, The Knight
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    [+10] Astrogate (INT) 8 ranks +2
    [+10] Demolitions (INT) 8 ranks +2
    [+9] Heal (WIS) ~ 8 ranks +1
    [+13] Pilot (DEX) ~ 8 ranks +5
    [+10] Repair (INT) ~ 8 ranks +2


  4. - Top - End - #904
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    Grue Bait's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    2480:I may not make an "arrow to the knee" reference. Ever. For anything.
    Avatar by The Grimmace. Or Zjoot, I guess.
    Will take suggested phrases in sig. PM with ideas
    They were fighting over the merits of pacifism.

    I'm part of this project to bring safe drinking water to impoverished countries. Check us out!

  5. - Top - End - #905
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    PurityIcekiller's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    2481: I cannot create a character with ancestry from more than four different species.
    2482: Creating a diversion to hide doesn't consist of shouting whether or not Balrogs have wings, either.
    2483: My bard cannot know "Never Gonna Give You Up" under any circumstances.
    When in doubt, use cute little dragons.



    (::) (::) Trog gave me cookies by accident. Mmm.

    Game and roleplaying stuff.

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  6. - Top - End - #906
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    motoko's ghost's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    2484: I may not metagame.
    2485: my character also cannot metagame
    2486: my characters cohort,followers,familiars mounts or anything I might control cannot metagame
    2487: my character is not the one, he cannot realise reality is a lie
    2488: my character cannot kill the DM, thus becoming the new DM
    2489: neither may I
    Sorry for my absence, but had a creative block for the past while.
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    There are countless ingredients that make up the human body and mind, like all the components that make up me as an individual with my own personality. Sure, I have a face and voice to distinguish myself from others, but my thoughts and memories are unique only to me, and I carry a sense of my own destiny.
    The Zinc Saucier optimisation challenge, now with double prize money! Eternal Tower Campaign setting (WIP)

  7. - Top - End - #907
    Troll in the Playground
     
    mangosta71's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    2490: My character may not arrange another player's character's death so that he can hook up with the grieving widow.
    2491: I may not describe my (non-good) character's interrogation techniques at the table. Especially if food is present.
    2492: I may never utter the words, "There's only one thing to do in a situation like this: strut!"
    2492a: Nor may I convince the bard to play what I consider an appropriate soundtrack for said strutting.
    2493: If my horror campaign makes my players question their sanity, I may be taking things too far.
    Delightfully abrasive in more ways than one
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    Quote Originally Posted by RabbitHoleLost View Post
    Mango:you sick, twisted bastard <3
    Quote Originally Posted by Gryffon View Post
    I think Krade is protesting the use of the word mad in in the phrase mad scientist as it promotes ambiguity. Are they angry? Are they crazy? Some of both? Not to mention, it also often connotates some degree of evilness. In the future we should be more careful to use proper classification.

    Mango is a dastardly irate unhinged scientist, for realz.

    Pirate Mongoose by Kwark_Pudding

  8. - Top - End - #908
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    Wookieetank's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    2494. If my character's actions makes the DM question thier sanity, I may be taking things too far

    2495. I may not use making the DM headdesk as the motivation for any of my plans.
    2495a. Even if the plans could plausably work.

  9. - Top - End - #909
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    motoko's ghost's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    Quote Originally Posted by Wookieetank View Post
    2494. If my character's actions makes the DM question thier sanity, I may be taking things too far
    2496: If my character's actions DONT make the DM question their sanity I'm not taking things far enough.
    Sorry for my absence, but had a creative block for the past while.
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    There are countless ingredients that make up the human body and mind, like all the components that make up me as an individual with my own personality. Sure, I have a face and voice to distinguish myself from others, but my thoughts and memories are unique only to me, and I carry a sense of my own destiny.
    The Zinc Saucier optimisation challenge, now with double prize money! Eternal Tower Campaign setting (WIP)

  10. - Top - End - #910
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    Metahuman1's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    2497: As the DM: I may not have a mission that required the annihilation of a cult of the cult are worshipers of Medium or smaller Equine creatures and/or Deitys if my group of players have one or more bronies and/or peagasisters.

    2498: If I break 2497, I will not be surprised if the Bronie/Peagasister members attack and kill some/all the other party in defense of the cult.

    2499: If I break 2497 and the entire rest of the group of players are bronies/Peagasisters, I will not be surprised if they all elect to join the cult as a group.

    2500: Nor will I do ANYTHING to try to force them back on the originally intended plot rail!
    "I Burn!"

  11. - Top - End - #911
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    Q'telun's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    2501. If the players actions call my sanity into question, I am not allowed to teleport them to the Elemental plane of pain.
    2502. There is no elemental plane of pain.
    Happiness is the most insidious prison of all.
    -Alan Moore
    Vemrya, The Knight
    Ognya, The Mage, Wielder of Fire
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    Onyx 4
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    [+10] Astrogate (INT) 8 ranks +2
    [+10] Demolitions (INT) 8 ranks +2
    [+9] Heal (WIS) ~ 8 ranks +1
    [+13] Pilot (DEX) ~ 8 ranks +5
    [+10] Repair (INT) ~ 8 ranks +2


  12. - Top - End - #912
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    PurityIcekiller's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    2503: There is no Plane of Antimagic, and even if there is, no interplanar travel spells can transport things to or from there.
    2504: I can no longer tickle opponents while grappling.
    2505: Dwarves do not have weapon proficiency with magma.
    2506: I do not get a bonus to hit just because I feel like it.
    When in doubt, use cute little dragons.



    (::) (::) Trog gave me cookies by accident. Mmm.

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  13. - Top - End - #913
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    Q'telun's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    I am so giving dwarves Weapon Proficiency (Magma) in my next campaign.
    Happiness is the most insidious prison of all.
    -Alan Moore
    Vemrya, The Knight
    Ognya, The Mage, Wielder of Fire
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    Onyx 4
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    [+10] Astrogate (INT) 8 ranks +2
    [+10] Demolitions (INT) 8 ranks +2
    [+9] Heal (WIS) ~ 8 ranks +1
    [+13] Pilot (DEX) ~ 8 ranks +5
    [+10] Repair (INT) ~ 8 ranks +2


  14. - Top - End - #914
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    DwarfFighterGuy

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    Quote Originally Posted by Metahuman1 View Post
    2497: As the DM: I may not have a mission that required the annihilation of a cult of the cult are worshipers of Medium or smaller Equine creatures and/or Deitys if my group of players have one or more bronies and/or peagasisters.

    2498: If I break 2497, I will not be surprised if the Bronie/Peagasister members attack and kill some/all the other party in defense of the cult.

    2499: If I break 2497 and the entire rest of the group of players are bronies/Peagasisters, I will not be surprised if they all elect to join the cult as a group.

    2500: Nor will I do ANYTHING to try to force them back on the originally intended plot rail!
    2507: As DM, I am not allowed to create the above situation on purpose just so I can watch the confused/sad/horrified/betrayed looks on the player's faces as the cult traps and attacks them anyway and they are forced to either defend themselves or roll up new characters

    2508: As DM, the villain's sole motivation cannot be that he likes stories of epic heroes, and knowing that heroes are defined by the villains they face he becomes a villain just to see the kinds of epic heroes that rise to challenge him.

    2509: As DM, I am not allowed to have there be (negative) consequences for the PC's actions.

    2510: As DM, any information the players don't know about can't be used against them, otherwise I am obviously pulling a Diabolus Ex Machina.
    2510a: If the players "didn't expect that to happen" then I obviously just made it up on the spot only to power trip and take them down.
    2510b: Even if I have campaign notes that are months old to prove I wasn't making it up.
    Been there, fought that, died horribly.

    Something fun and flavorful to get your DM throwing books at you: Katana Chucker



  15. - Top - End - #915
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    motoko's ghost's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    Quote Originally Posted by Choco View Post
    2508: As DM, the villain's sole motivation cannot be that he likes stories of epic heroes, and knowing that heroes are defined by the villains they face he becomes a villain just to see the kinds of epic heroes that rise to challenge him.

    2510: As DM, any information the players don't know about can't be used against them, otherwise I am obviously pulling a Diabolus Ex Machina.
    2510a: If the players "didn't expect that to happen" then I obviously just made it up on the spot only to power trip and take them down.
    2510b: Even if I have campaign notes that are months old to prove I wasn't making it up.

    2511: AS DM I cannot stat up general tarquin
    2512: neither can I write up deliberately vague plot twists months in advance just to pull them on my players just when they weren't expecting it.
    2513: I may not DM a horror campaign ever again(this is actually a rule in real life)
    2514: I may not co-host a horror campaign
    2515: i am not allowed near any horror material at all.
    Sorry for my absence, but had a creative block for the past while.
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    There are countless ingredients that make up the human body and mind, like all the components that make up me as an individual with my own personality. Sure, I have a face and voice to distinguish myself from others, but my thoughts and memories are unique only to me, and I carry a sense of my own destiny.
    The Zinc Saucier optimisation challenge, now with double prize money! Eternal Tower Campaign setting (WIP)

  16. - Top - End - #916
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    PurityIcekiller's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    2516: Even if paladins are the only character class required to be good, it is not meant as an invitation for other characters to be evil.
    2517: My wizard cannot take the flaw "Fanatical Disbeliever in the Supernatural" under any circumstances.
    2518: There is an upper limit to how many ailment flaws I can give a character just to improve their spellcasting abilities.
    2519: I cannot kill any more monsters with Rube Goldberg devices, no matter how fun it is.
    2520: My weapon's range cannot be in light-years.
    When in doubt, use cute little dragons.



    (::) (::) Trog gave me cookies by accident. Mmm.

    Game and roleplaying stuff.

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  17. - Top - End - #917
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    Q'telun's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    2521. As DM, I am not allowed to metagame.
    2522. I cannot make allusions that the average college student would not get.
    2523. Especially if those allusions are the answers to the riddles that will prevent the elemental plane of fire from exploding.
    Happiness is the most insidious prison of all.
    -Alan Moore
    Vemrya, The Knight
    Ognya, The Mage, Wielder of Fire
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    Onyx 4
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    [+10] Astrogate (INT) 8 ranks +2
    [+10] Demolitions (INT) 8 ranks +2
    [+9] Heal (WIS) ~ 8 ranks +1
    [+13] Pilot (DEX) ~ 8 ranks +5
    [+10] Repair (INT) ~ 8 ranks +2


  18. - Top - End - #918
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    Metahuman1's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    2524: The Dm may not play Dead Island right before plotting out a quest. Particularly if his quest already involved a mysterious plague before he started playing Dead Island.
    "I Burn!"

  19. - Top - End - #919
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    motoko's ghost's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    2525: I may not create characters with the express purpose of fulfilling as many of this list's items as possible

  20. - Top - End - #920
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    ShadowySilence's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    2526: I may not create a hombrew class of Defense Attorney, and then name my character Phoenix Wright.
    2527: I may not use Phoenix Wright quotations in game.
    2528: Make that out of game as well...
    2529: As a DM I may not pit my players against a horde of creepers from Minecraft, especially after letting them find some really good treasure.
    Love shows itself more in adversity than in prosperity; as light does, which shines most where the place is darkest. ~Leonardo Da Vinci

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  21. - Top - End - #921
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    PurityIcekiller's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    2530: Shopkeepers are not automatically Level 50.
    2531: Ice fairies are not stronger than any other character races.
    2532: I cannot use time-manipulation powers to skip ahead to when I'm a higher-level character.
    2533: Clubs don't cost anything, but that doesn't mean I can conjure an infinite number out of thin air, either.
    2534: Creatures do not get attack bonuses for being adorable.
    2535: My weapon or ammunition cannot be alive at any point during its use.
    When in doubt, use cute little dragons.



    (::) (::) Trog gave me cookies by accident. Mmm.

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  22. - Top - End - #922
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    motoko's ghost's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    Quote Originally Posted by PurityIcekiller View Post
    2535: My weapon or ammunition cannot be alive at any point during its use.
    2536: My weapon or ammunition cannot have been alive less than a few rounds ago.

  23. - Top - End - #923
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    Ninjaman's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    2537: I am not alowed to name my drow Drizzt
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  24. - Top - End - #924
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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    2538 I may not have 2 8Kg U233 golems charge at each other
    2539 I may not craft a 10Kg slug then accelerate it to 2% of light-speed...
    2540 in fact while i'm at it no using physics to kill things
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  25. - Top - End - #925
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    DwarfFighterGuy

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    Quote Originally Posted by Archonic Energy View Post
    2538 I may not have 2 8Kg U233 golems charge at each other
    2539 I may not craft a 10Kg slug then accelerate it to 2% of light-speed...
    2540 in fact while i'm at it no using physics to kill things
    2541: If anyone in the party uses physics to 1-shot what was supposed to be a difficult boss encounter, we are not allowed to whine when the DM uses physics to TPK the party.
    2541a: Especially if everyone agreed that as soon as the players pull out some game-breaking cheese or physics it becomes fair game for the DM to do it too.
    2541b: This also applies to the argument "I know the game rules say <x>, but realistically that would not be possible..."
    Last edited by Choco; 2012-01-03 at 07:17 PM.
    Been there, fought that, died horribly.

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  26. - Top - End - #926
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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    2542: No adding extra digits to my character level unless they're zeroes at the beginning.
    2543: No character class has weapon proficiency with clocks.
    2544: The party meat shield is not the character we could get the most money from selling the equipment of.
    2545: I do not get bonus experience if I'm the only member of the party with any moral standards.
    2546: Lances are not an essential weapon for the second-in-command.
    When in doubt, use cute little dragons.



    (::) (::) Trog gave me cookies by accident. Mmm.

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  27. - Top - End - #927
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    Kelvin360's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    2547: No matter where we are, I cannot randomly scream 'THIS. IS. [Insert place here]!!!' whenever anyone mentions madness.

    2548: I may not make a child character with an intelligence of 30 who has a tiger familiar.

    2548b: ESPECIALLY if I name him 'Calvin'.

    2549: Any puns that cause the DM to pop an aspirin will get me beaten with a 'Humor for Dummies' book.

    2550: If our characters are trying to save the world, my character's motivation cannot be 'for the lulz'.

    2551: No matter how powerful I am, I cannot make the God of Evil put on a tutu and dance in front of a cleric of said diety.

    2552: Death is not permanent, but I am not allowed to have my inventory consist entirely of scrolls of resurrection.

    2552b: Particularly if my intention is to get my fellow players killed enough to where, when we finalyl meet the boss, they're all level 2 and i'm level 14.

    2553: I may not custom-make a spell called 'insurrection' to form a rebel army just because the current Empire cheesed me off.

    2554: I cannot cause catastrophic events that kill everyone just for the sake of a reference or a pun.

    2555: There are no such thing as mole people, and they cannot shoot laser beams from their eyes.

    2556: I cannot communicate using a language I don't speak simply by imitating the voice of the person i'm speaking to and making funny faces. No matter what my bluff is.
    "'Elvish barbeque' is what happens when the Quessir send one of their Evokers to deal with an orc invasion and then go home for the evening." - Elmah Dryearghymn, an elvish Evoker, as depicted to the left

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  28. - Top - End - #928
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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    2557: There are never brothels in any of the towns.

    2558: I may never use my carisma score to sleep with the female evil villain.

    2559: I can not use a holy grail reference without activating a trap.
    Last edited by Ninjaman; 2012-01-04 at 09:18 AM.
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  29. - Top - End - #929
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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    2560: Finding "The world's closest shave" is not a valid character motive, especially for a dwarf.

    2561: If I say that my rogue will "steal the Princess' heart" I must state if I mean that figuratively or literally. Either way, my Sleight of Hand skill will never be high enough to steal an internal organ without its owner knowing.

    2562: My Drunken Master may use improvised weapons. Dire sharks do not count as improvised weapons, especially if I intend to dual wield them.

    2563: Morray eels cannot be used as improvised whips.

    2564: Flirting with barmaids is expected. Flirting with the Queen is pushing it. Flirting with beholders is just plain wrong.

    2565: No matter how adorable I think she is, and no matter how innocent my intentions are, I may not pick up Jaela Daran and give her a hug. She's the pope of an entire religion and I must show respect.
    Just call me Diego. Mr. Havoc was my father.
    Quote Originally Posted by SiuiS View Post
    Diego Havoc, one of the hoopier froods I've met, up there with DeLancie.

  30. - Top - End - #930
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Metahuman1's Avatar

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    Mar 2011

    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    Quote Originally Posted by Diego Havoc View Post
    2565: No matter how adorable I think she is, and no matter how innocent my intentions are, I may not pick up Jaela Daran and give her a hug. She's the pope of an entire religion and I must show respect.
    Um, is that the child who when she's in the Sanctome of the Silver Flame in Eberron or what ever it's called is treated as like an 18th lvl cleric?
    "I Burn!"

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