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  1. - Top - End - #961
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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    Quote Originally Posted by Jade Dragon View Post
    This isn't the thread in Roleplaying Games. Use numbers, not asterisks.

    2643. The solution is not to build a tank.
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  2. - Top - End - #962
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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    Quote Originally Posted by Jade Dragon View Post
    This isn't the thread in Roleplaying Games. Use numbers, not asterisks.

    2643. The solution is not to build a tank.
    2645. If 2643 is broken, I may not use it to hunt elves for pieces of a spell tattooed across their bodies.
    2646. I may not grant said tank sentience.
    2647. I may not acquire a bunch of Devices of Kwalish at a steep discount, since no one wants them, and start a Crab Battle Arena to please the common folk.
    2648. The DM will be displeased if I crit and one shot her supposedly challenging monster that was supposed to be something to give trouble to the entire party.
    2648a. The DM does not appreciate having pointed out that it lacked knowledge of guns and that it flew exactly into my range, making it a ripe target.
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  3. - Top - End - #963
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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    2649: I'm not allowed to be pedantic about what people call magic items.
    2650: I cannot consider neutral characters to be worse than evil characters.
    2651: Paladins that plunge off cliffs or the like do not automatically lose their powers.
    When in doubt, use cute little dragons.



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  4. - Top - End - #964
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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    Quote Originally Posted by PurityIcekiller View Post
    2651: Paladins that plunge off cliffs or the like do not automatically lose their powers.
    2561a: Same Goes for all Angel's and divine Classes.
    2561b: Same goes for the reverse for evil and hellish classes, in such that a Infernal Warlock cannot reverse the falling off a cliff by flying up a cliff and thus earn redemption, even if he isn't currently bound by a pact.

    2562: No matter how funny or how evil, evil characters cannot through angels off cliffs after clipping their wings, especially while saying 'I hope you enjoy your fall without grace, from grace.'
    2562b: Especially if the area we are in is called grace for some innane region, and changing that sentance to make it marginally less funny because the angel is called grace, will get me smote, by an evil god. Because not even Bane would put up with my humor for an evil act.
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  5. - Top - End - #965
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    DwarfFighterGuy

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    2563: I am not allowed to justify being a rules lawyer by saying "well, the rest of the group can't be bothered to even learn the rules regarding their own characters, so if *I* don't learn their rules for them, we will spend over half of each session just looking through rules..."
    Been there, fought that, died horribly.

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  6. - Top - End - #966
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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    Quote Originally Posted by Choco View Post
    2563: I am not allowed to justify being a rules lawyer by saying "well, the rest of the group can't be bothered to even learn the rules regarding their own characters, so if *I* don't learn their rules for them, we will spend over half of each session just looking through rules..."
    2563a: I'm not allowed to justify being a rules lawyer by applying a similar argument to the DM.

    2564: I'm no longer allowed to use called shots to shoot arrows into the knees of enemies.
    2564a: I'm not allowed to reference Skyrim or related memes ever again.

    2565: No more reassuring NPC's that we won't kill them by telling them we could have killed them at any time.
    2565a: "But I only have 7 charisma" is not a good justification for doing so.

    2566: My full caster should not be able to take a sneak attack for half his health, and then turn around and kill the rogue who dealt it without even casting a spell.
    Last edited by Xerinous; 2012-02-03 at 12:42 AM.
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  7. - Top - End - #967
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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    2567: I do not get experience points for saying witty one-liners after killing someone.
    2568: There is no character class that gives me the ability to wield six blades at once.
    2569: Pinkie Pie is not a character class.
    2571: I may not use time magic just to screw with people.
    2570: If our campaign is set in the Dark Ages, I'm not allowed to find a light switch.
    2572: I may not cast spells or wield weapons out-of-character.
    When in doubt, use cute little dragons.



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  8. - Top - End - #968
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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    Quote Originally Posted by PurityIcekiller View Post
    2570: If our campaign is set in the Dark Ages, I'm not allowed to find a light switch.
    2570a. I may not invent the lightswitch either.
    Last edited by Wookieetank; 2012-02-03 at 12:11 PM.

  9. - Top - End - #969
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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    2573. I must not make a Half-Fiend Cleric, make it into a Lich asap and take over the world with undead minions of doom.
    2573a. Not even if I bribe the DM with cookies.
    2573b. Or delicious delicious cake.
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  10. - Top - End - #970
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    2753c. Nor may I do it with a dread necromancer of any race. But especially not a half-fiend.
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    Quote Originally Posted by RabbitHoleLost View Post
    Mango:you sick, twisted bastard <3
    Quote Originally Posted by Gryffon View Post
    I think Krade is protesting the use of the word mad in in the phrase mad scientist as it promotes ambiguity. Are they angry? Are they crazy? Some of both? Not to mention, it also often connotates some degree of evilness. In the future we should be more careful to use proper classification.

    Mango is a dastardly irate unhinged scientist, for realz.

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  11. - Top - End - #971
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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    2574a: I may not make a Wizard who's sole action in combat is to spam Magic Missile and make "Pew! Pew!" sounds in and out of character.

    2574b: Even if he is still the most effective member in the party.

    2574c: Espcially if he is the most effective member in the party.

    2575a: My heavily armored defender can not be faster than the Thri-Keen Monk.

    2575b: I can not avoid combat by challenge enemies to foot races and winning.

    2575c: Especially if its against the BBEG and I subsequently kill him solo while he's exhausted.

    2576a: I am not allowed short range, tatical teleportation.

    2576b: Especially on a non-arcane, melee focused character.

    EDIT: I blame TPAM.
    Last edited by MesiDoomstalker; 2012-02-03 at 02:30 PM.
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  12. - Top - End - #972
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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    2577*: When the party's NPC commander says "Don't kill anyone you don't have to", it is not a challenge to see how many creative justifications I can find for slaughtering anyone who gets in my way.

    2578: I'm no longer allowed access to Improved Critical, especially in conjunction with any weapon with a base critical range of 18-20.

    2579: "Sleep with [insert female PC's name]" is not an appropriate motivation for becoming an adventurer, nor for joining the party.

    2580: Polymorph Any Object cannot create anti-matter.

    2581: I'm no longer allowed to complain about racist NPC's when I knew they would be prejudiced against me from the start.

    *We got a little out of order.
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  13. - Top - End - #973
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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    2582: I may not use Greater Mighty Wallop + a Great Hammer of any Variety + Disciple of disputer + Improved Crit to have Colossal base damage, a x4 Crit multiplier, and an 8-20 threat range.

    2583: Nor may my Warblade have both Raging Mongoose and Time Stands Still if he duel wields Scimitars that have the Vorporal and Speed property's and has Improved Crit and levels in Disciple of Disputer to threaten a crit on any attack roll that hits.

    2584: Doing so when the DM has already ruled that Vorporal goes off on a Crit and not on a nat 20 is right out.
    "I Burn!"

  14. - Top - End - #974
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    2585: The AC bonuses from dual-wielding buckler shields do not stack.
    2586: I cannot have any character whom even I don't know the alignment of.
    2587: Harvesting the kidneys of fellow PCs is not permitted, especially if they're still alive at the time.
    2588: No character or creature may be in the party simply because they're cute.
    When in doubt, use cute little dragons.



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  15. - Top - End - #975
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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    2589: No character of mine will ever be allowed to share a plane of existence with a Souldrinker, or any other weapon with a similar ability, again.
    Last edited by mangosta71; 2012-02-03 at 03:34 PM.
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    Quote Originally Posted by RabbitHoleLost View Post
    Mango:you sick, twisted bastard <3
    Quote Originally Posted by Gryffon View Post
    I think Krade is protesting the use of the word mad in in the phrase mad scientist as it promotes ambiguity. Are they angry? Are they crazy? Some of both? Not to mention, it also often connotates some degree of evilness. In the future we should be more careful to use proper classification.

    Mango is a dastardly irate unhinged scientist, for realz.

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  16. - Top - End - #976
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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    2590: I am no longer allowed to use quotes from the Blues Brothers movie. Most particularly I am not allowed to use "Your women. I want to buy your women. The little girl, your daughters... sell them to me. Sell me your children! "
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  17. - Top - End - #977
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    RedWizardGuy

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    2591. I may not suggest that the password is *magic missile* to cast the spell instead of doing some arcane chanting

  18. - Top - End - #978
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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    2592. Casting explosive runes upon a plot relevant item/scroll/etc that must be read, is right out.
    2592a. Using explosive runes in a LotR campaign is right out, despite the hilairty it would cause.
    Last edited by Wookieetank; 2012-02-06 at 09:17 AM.

  19. - Top - End - #979
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    2593: I may not under any circumstances, start a campaign on the elemental plane of fire, no matter what I give the party to make them immune to fire damage.
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  20. - Top - End - #980
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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    2594. "Fireball" is not romantic.
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    This is the thief who likes to hoard,
    That loves the bard with the puppet Lord
    That admires the fighter with the green-hilted sword,
    That employs the Wizard, whose bird is ignored,
    That has the gender unexplored
    That intrigues the Halfling, usually bored,
    That slew a mountain of the goblin horde,
    That follows the cleric,
    That serves the lich,
    That seeks the gate,
    That guards the snarl,
    That lives in the prison the gods built.


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  21. - Top - End - #981
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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    2594a. Nor is it a suitable replacement to diplomacy.
    2594b. It is also not the universal greeting method.
    2594c. When in doubt the solution/answer is not more Fireballs.

  22. - Top - End - #982
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    2594d: Fire, in ball form or otherwise, is not the first response. Ever.
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  23. - Top - End - #983
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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    2594e: Not even if i am a half dragon-ogre and it would be in character.
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  24. - Top - End - #984
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    2595: I may not have the other players name all of their characters "Spartacus".
    2596: My character cannot have more than one power related to breaking reality.
    2597: I cannot play any character race, class, or combination that I can pun about.
    2598: Using big, flashy abilities to accomplish relatively simple tasks just because it's cooler is not approved of.
    When in doubt, use cute little dragons.



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  25. - Top - End - #985
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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    2599: When asked what I have to say, "I sing a merry tune" is not an acceptable answer.
    2599a: Especially at a funeral.
    2599b: Doubly so if I'm not a bard.
    2599c: Triply so if I'm the cleric laying the person to rest.

    2600: Even if I am, in fact, trapped in a box, singing Man in the Box will get something heavy thrown at me.
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  26. - Top - End - #986
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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    2601. I'm not allowed to sing "I'm on a boat"
    2601a. Particularly in a navel setting.
    2601b. Even if I'm a bard and have ranks in perform(pop tunes).

  27. - Top - End - #987
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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    2602a: Having Perform (British Humour) is not an excuss to exccessivly quote Monty Python.

    2602b: Niether is being British.

    2602c: Or speaking in a British accent.

    2602d: No Monty Python references, ever, on fear of heavy objects flying towards me.
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  28. - Top - End - #988
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    2602e: "Ah now I see the violence inherent in the" *THUNK!*
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  29. - Top - End - #989
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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    2603: If my character has the ability to teleport at will, I am not allowed to go years (in real life and game time) before I first use that power.
    2603a: Especially if the DM forgot about that power and it ruined what was supposed to be an unwinable encounter.
    2603b: "I was saving it for when I really needed it" is not a legitimate excuse for an at-will ability.
    Been there, fought that, died horribly.

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  30. - Top - End - #990
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    2604: Even with a lousy Charisma score, I cannot make enemies take damage just from looking at me.
    2605: Optimally, my half-orc character shouldn't have a higher Intelligence score than the rest of the party.
    2606: My character's name cannot be a pun on my own in any way.
    2607: I'm not permitted to put all my points into the Use Rope skill.
    When in doubt, use cute little dragons.



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