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  1. - Top - End - #991
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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    Quote Originally Posted by PurityIcekiller View Post
    2597: I cannot play any character race, class, or combination that I can pun about.
    2597b: This effectively means I cannot play anything but a human commoner ever again.

    2608: My human commoner cannot be named Dave.
    2609: My human commoner cannot be more powerful than the rest of the party combined.
    2610: Not even in a low-magic setting.
    "D&D is the only game I can think of (with the possible exception of Calvinball) where the only way to lose is by playing to win."
    "'Elvish barbeque' is what happens when the Quessir send one of their Evokers to deal with an orc invasion and then go home for the evening." - Elmah Dryearghymn, an elvish Evoker, as depicted to the left

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  2. - Top - End - #992
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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    Quote Originally Posted by PurityIcekiller View Post
    2605: Optimally, my half-orc character shouldn't have a higher Intelligence score than the rest of the party.
    2605b. Neither can the Thri-Kreen as the party melee beast.

    2611. I can't force the party leader to be named Jim so my cleric can quote Dr. McCoy.
    2612. I may not name my gun Diplomacy and offer to try it if the rest of the party is ignorant of the first fact.
    2613. I can't use any character ideas based off of my cat.
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  3. - Top - End - #993
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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    2614. I'm not allowed to name a character Marty Stu.
    2614a. Not even in a troll-heavy campaign.

  4. - Top - End - #994
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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    Quote Originally Posted by Cieyrin View Post
    2611. I can't force the party leader to be named Jim so my cleric can quote Dr. McCoy.
    2611a. Forcing the party leader to be named James is also frowned upon.

    2615. Playing a female half Orc bard and singing "My Milkshake" is not allowed and every book within arms reach will be thrown at me.

  5. - Top - End - #995
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    2616: I cannot use bardic music abilities with Perform (Act) or Perform (Dance), regardless of what the rules say.
    2617: I may not buy a longship just because I have a lot of gold to spend and I feel like it.
    2618: Underage humans do not automatically know Halfling.
    2619: Every ability score must have someone in the party not using it for a dump stat.
    2620: Using siege equipment in melee is not permitted.
    When in doubt, use cute little dragons.



    (::) (::) Trog gave me cookies by accident. Mmm.

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  6. - Top - End - #996
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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    Would you be mad if I copy-pasted all of this?

    Nah, it would take too long to re-number all of them.

    Someone needs to post that "all the" meme.

  7. - Top - End - #997
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    DwarfFighterGuy

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    Quote Originally Posted by Jade Dragon View Post
    2614. I'm not allowed to name a character Marty Stu.
    2614a. Not even in a troll-heavy campaign.
    Thanks, my monitor needed to be cleaned anyway.

    2621: When someone at the table complains about how immature I am, I am not allowed to view that as a challenge to show said person what true immaturity is.

    2622: When someone at the table is offended by anything that happens, my fault or otherwise, the proper response is not to say "well put on your big girl panties and deal with it."
    2622a: Even if the entire rest of the group agrees with me.

    2623: My character is not allowed to challenge anyone to a douche-off.
    Been there, fought that, died horribly.

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  8. - Top - End - #998
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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    2624: I am not allowed to take the McGuffin under any circumstances, ever. It, uh, it, just like disintegrated as soon as you touched it.
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  9. - Top - End - #999
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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    2625: Random word generators are not good sources of adjectives to base a character on.

    2626: A single fighter NPC should not be able to take on four PC's and expect to survive and/or slaughter them all.

    2627: Cursed items should not be the object of retrieval missions if I know my players will likely run off with unknown magic items.
    2627a: Especially if one is a dagger that will kill both the one stabbed and the one wielding it.
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  10. - Top - End - #1000
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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    2628: No laser I possess may be larger than I am.
    2629: Invisibility and teleportation spells are to be cast on fellow adventurers, not fellow adventurers' clothes.
    2630: "Surrounded By Idiots" is not a character flaw, or at least isn't for the character with it.
    2631: The point of multiclassing is not to see how many different classes you can play at one time.
    When in doubt, use cute little dragons.



    (::) (::) Trog gave me cookies by accident. Mmm.

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  11. - Top - End - #1001
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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    Quote Originally Posted by Xerinous View Post
    2625: Random word generators are not good sources of adjectives to base a character on.
    2625a. Drawing a randomly determined number of green cards from apples to apples is also not allowed as a way to create a character.


    2632. I'm no allowed to use :http://wiki.white-wolf.com/exalted/i..._do_in_Exalted as inspiration for things to do.
    2632a. In fact any list detailing things that shouldn't be done, is not to be taken as a list of achievements to be accomplished.

  12. - Top - End - #1002
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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    2633: I am not a merdusa, were-aboleth or half-farspawn half-dragon halfling.
    Cthulhu fhtagn R'lyeh!
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nerd-o-rama View Post
    There were other programs that were deleted, but they either go quietly or spend the rest of their existence sitting around babbling about causality. Smith's different. He gets deleted and he's like "Hell no, I'm staying. And I'll steal your kernel privileges and spam copies of myself onto every last thing on the hard disk. How d'you like that?"
    Degeneration 91 Subtract one and add to your signature.

  13. - Top - End - #1003
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    2634: Using Baleful Polymorph to turn someone into farm animals and perform their normal role upon that farm as a form of punishment is now forbidden.
    2634a: I am not allowed to Baleful Polymorph some bandit into a Cow, followed by milking them, nor am I allowed to turn someone into a sheep and sheer them, nor am I allowed to turn someone into a hen and force them to lay eggs for several days.
    Corrollery: Turning someone into a Mule and having them perform a day or two of labor is potentially acceptable, on a case by case basis, depending on the degree of transgression.
    ~~Courage is not the lack of fear~~
    Quote Originally Posted by gooddragon1 View Post
    If the party wizard can't survive a supersonic dragon made of iron at epic levels it's his own fault really.
    "In soviet dungeon, aboleth farms you!"
    "Please consult your DM before administering Steve brand Aboleth Mucus.
    Ask your DM if Aboleth Mucus is right for you.
    Side effects include coughing, sneezing, and other flu like symptoms, cancer, breathing water like a fish, loss of dignity, loss of balance, loss of bowel and bladder control."

  14. - Top - End - #1004
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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    2634b: Existing is NOT a transgression in and of itself. Neither is "being here.".
    "I Burn!"

  15. - Top - End - #1005
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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    2635: My healer cannot take advantage of the Geneva Convention.
    2636: I'm forbidden from playing a Shinto shrine maiden with levels in paladin, especially if she's Lawful Stupid.
    2637: My character's name mustn't be longer than the entire rest of the character sheet.
    When in doubt, use cute little dragons.



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  16. - Top - End - #1006
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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    2638. I can't cut out the eyes of people we meet along the road.
    2638a. Even if they are evil.
    2638b. Even if I allow them to see again by using Remove Blindness.
    2638c. Especially if I taunt them about the fact they can see without their eyes.
    Currently Holds the Title of "Earl of Innocence"

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  17. - Top - End - #1007
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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    2639: a naga/drider/aboleth is not even possible, much less playable.
    Cthulhu fhtagn R'lyeh!
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nerd-o-rama View Post
    There were other programs that were deleted, but they either go quietly or spend the rest of their existence sitting around babbling about causality. Smith's different. He gets deleted and he's like "Hell no, I'm staying. And I'll steal your kernel privileges and spam copies of myself onto every last thing on the hard disk. How d'you like that?"
    Degeneration 91 Subtract one and add to your signature.

  18. - Top - End - #1008
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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    Quote Originally Posted by PurityIcekiller View Post
    2636: I'm forbidden from playing a Shinto shrine maiden with levels in paladin, especially if she's Lawful Stupid.
    I'm sensing this is a reference to something. Any chance you'd be willing to tell me?
    "I Burn!"

  19. - Top - End - #1009
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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    Quote Originally Posted by Metahuman1 View Post
    I'm sensing this is a reference to something. Any chance you'd be willing to tell me?
    Two kinds of "Miko".

    2640: Friend Computer is not a pony fan.
    2641: When rescuing fellow PCs from terrible fates, I'm not supposed to wait for the last possible moment just because it's more dramatic.
    2642: No participating in contests to make the DM facepalm the hardest.
    2643: I may not use mind-affecting magic on the party leader just because I disagree with their latest decision.
    When in doubt, use cute little dragons.



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  20. - Top - End - #1010
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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    In Exalted...

    2644. No, I can't use the Gemstone of Surface Thoughts to unnerve my opponents in negotiations.

    2645. No, I can't use the Gemstone of Surface Thoughts to learn what the girls think of me.

    2646. No, I can't use the Gemstone of Surface Thoughts on Malfeas and gather anything useful without making a DC 50 Conviction+Integrity check to resist going insane.

    2647. That's it, no more Gemstones of Surface Thoughts!

  21. - Top - End - #1011
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    2648: I cannot convert Demogorgon to Lawful Good.
    2649: Curing the wounds of Asmodeus is not a good thing.
    2650: Good PCs may not own a Cauldron of Zombie Spewing, an Angelkilling sword or a Rack of Irresistable Torture.
    2650b: Not even if you find evidence that they were based on a mythical hero. Mythical heroes were *******s.
    Cthulhu fhtagn R'lyeh!
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nerd-o-rama View Post
    There were other programs that were deleted, but they either go quietly or spend the rest of their existence sitting around babbling about causality. Smith's different. He gets deleted and he's like "Hell no, I'm staying. And I'll steal your kernel privileges and spam copies of myself onto every last thing on the hard disk. How d'you like that?"
    Degeneration 91 Subtract one and add to your signature.

  22. - Top - End - #1012
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    DwarfFighterGuy

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    Quote Originally Posted by PurityIcekiller View Post
    2641: When rescuing fellow PCs from terrible fates, I'm not supposed to wait for the last possible moment just because it's more dramatic.
    2651: When fellow PC's are about to suffer terrible fates and it is in my power to stop it, I am not allowed to just watch it happen.
    2651a: Especially if I am also pointing and laughing.
    2651b: Even if they were chaotic stupid and deserved it, and ignored all my previous warnings.

    2652: In Exalted, I am no longer allowed to take the Deliberate Cruelty virtue flaw.
    2652a: Especially when combined with the 5-point Greater Curse flaw.
    2652b: Especially when I go out of my way to limit break.
    2652c: ESPECIALLY if I am using all of the above as a legitimate excuse to play a sadistic character in a "good" party.
    2652d: Even if the party is otherwise letting their so-called morality get in the way of saving the world...

    2653: Offering myself up to be the host to an all-powerful, world-destroying demon in place of the hostage that would have been used for said purpose is not considered "taking one for the team".
    2653a: Especially if doing so makes it even easier for the villain to summon said demon.
    2653b: Especially if the quest was to stop the summoning, NOT save the hostage.
    2653c: Even if it was completely in character.

    2654: If the rest of the party gets sick of me constantly pointing out when they are breaking the rules, I am not allowed to stay silent when their characters die entirely due to a rule being broken.

    2655: There is no such thing as a legitimate excuse for being a douche.
    Last edited by Choco; 2012-02-18 at 12:50 AM.
    Been there, fought that, died horribly.

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  23. - Top - End - #1013
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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    2656: I am not allowed to do this.
    2656a: Even if he's my deity.
    Some fear hunters not for the death they bring, but for the silence with which it comes.

  24. - Top - End - #1014
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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    2657: If I tell the royal guards that I am an assassin looking to kill the king, simply because he refused to see us, I cannot object when the other players beat me. Or when the DM throws a book at me.
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  25. - Top - End - #1015
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    2658: Using repeated hasting spells will not turn the blue dragon into a red dragon.
    2659: I may not cast Glitterdust anywhere near a vampire under any circumstances.
    2660: I cannot wield any kind of atmospheric reentry weapon.
    When in doubt, use cute little dragons.



    (::) (::) Trog gave me cookies by accident. Mmm.

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  26. - Top - End - #1016
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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    2661: Moving to the other side of the blue dragon won't turn it into a red dragon either.
    2662: The milk of human kindness does not give a Sense Motive bonus.
    2662b: It doesn't allow you to cast Charm Person, either.
    2663: There are no special rules for cannibalism.
    Cthulhu fhtagn R'lyeh!
    If you understood the above, click here.
    Quote Originally Posted by Nerd-o-rama View Post
    There were other programs that were deleted, but they either go quietly or spend the rest of their existence sitting around babbling about causality. Smith's different. He gets deleted and he's like "Hell no, I'm staying. And I'll steal your kernel privileges and spam copies of myself onto every last thing on the hard disk. How d'you like that?"
    Degeneration 91 Subtract one and add to your signature.

  27. - Top - End - #1017
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    DwarfFighterGuy

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    Quote Originally Posted by Xerinous View Post
    2657: If I tell the royal guards that I am an assassin looking to kill the king, simply because he refused to see us, I cannot object when the other players beat me. Or when the DM throws a book at me.
    2657a: Nor can I whine if the other PCs proceed to help the guards kill me in order to salvage their own reputation.

    2664: Having the group record for most character deaths in one session is not something to be proud of.
    2664a: Even if it was entirely the fault of the dice.
    Been there, fought that, died horribly.

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  28. - Top - End - #1018
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    2665: Slapping the farmer who asked us to save his daughter, who had been kidnapped, is not acceptable.
    2665a: Not even if my DM has thrown that plot hook at us a dozen times.
    2665b: If he slaps back, it's not license to kill him "in self-defense".

    2666: If I am playing a bard, none of my performances may start with "Now you all know, the bards and their songs..."
    2666a: Similarly, if there is some sort of protector, who happens to be unable to see, there is a rather large list of songs I may not begin singing upon meeting said him/her/it.
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  29. - Top - End - #1019
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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    2667: I will not sing vulgar pub songs for the Queen.
    Cthulhu fhtagn R'lyeh!
    If you understood the above, click here.
    Quote Originally Posted by Nerd-o-rama View Post
    There were other programs that were deleted, but they either go quietly or spend the rest of their existence sitting around babbling about causality. Smith's different. He gets deleted and he's like "Hell no, I'm staying. And I'll steal your kernel privileges and spam copies of myself onto every last thing on the hard disk. How d'you like that?"
    Degeneration 91 Subtract one and add to your signature.

  30. - Top - End - #1020
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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    In Exalted...

    2668. The Mask of Winters does not call renegade abyssals "rebel scum" and/or "traitors to the Empire"
    2668a. The First and Forsaken Lion does not call renegade abyssals "rebel scum" and/or "traitors to the Empire"
    2669. The FaFL is not my father
    2669a. The Mask of Winters is not my father
    2669b. I may not name my character Skywalker
    2670. No keychains
    2670a. Or keyblades
    2671. The Lover Clad in Raiment Tears seduces the heroes, not the other way around
    2671a. Even if she is unbelievably sexy
    2671b. Especially if she is unbelievably sexy
    2672. Just because I (the hero) rescued the Scarlet Empress (the girl) from the Ebon Dragon (the dragon, duh) doesn't mean I get to lay her
    2672a. Even if her beauty is outmatched only by The Lover Clad in Raiment Tears and a couple others in the entirety of existence
    2672b. ESPECIALLY if her beauty is outmatched only by The Lover Clad in Raiment Tears and a couple others in the entirety of existence
    2672c. I might've been able to, if I didn't tell the ST that was the only reason I rescued her
    2673. If we're flying in a first age flying machine and we get knocked off course and start heading towards the sun, I may not peer closely and say "that's no sun, that's a space station"
    2673a. Or a battle station
    2673b. Even though it is

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