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  1. - Top - End - #1081
    Ettin in the Playground
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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    2820: I will not add the words "...of DOOM *dun dun dun daaaaaaaaah*" to anything anyone says, regardless of if it would be in character for me to do so.
    ~~Courage is not the lack of fear~~
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    If the party wizard can't survive a supersonic dragon made of iron at epic levels it's his own fault really.
    "In soviet dungeon, aboleth farms you!"

  2. - Top - End - #1082
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    2821: I am not to recreate any scene from The Eye of Argon
    a: Nor any dialogue
    b: Nor any character

  3. - Top - End - #1083
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Balmas's Avatar

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    2822: If I am the party's main warrior, I am not allowed to take Vow of Peace.
    "Yeah, I might have overreacted I suppose, shooting him, but it wasn't his spoon! I stole ammo, fine, but what was with the spoon?

    "...When did I get a spoon, anyway?" ~Gopher

  4. - Top - End - #1084
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    2823. I am not allowed to homebrew a class that is better balanced than half of the core classes.
    2823a. Especially if the character is better at what is does than the base class dedicated to that role without being OP.

    2824. I am not allowed to roleplay a homebrewed class better than others using clearly fluffed core classes.
    2824a. Especially if the DM becomes inclined to give me useless things / abilities with no use but for RP.

    2825. I am not allowed to present both rule- and fluff- based reasons to keep and use the homebrew class that fit better than some base classes.

  5. - Top - End - #1085
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    DwarfFighterGuy

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    Quote Originally Posted by Balmas View Post
    2822: If I am the party's main warrior, I am not allowed to take Vow of Peace.
    2826: If I am NOT the party's main warrior, I am not allowed to be a better warrior than the party's main warrior.
    2826a: Especially if I am a caster.
    2826b: Even if it is somewhat unavoidable in 3.5 that properly built casters will be better than everyone at everything.
    Been there, fought that, died horribly.

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  6. - Top - End - #1086
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    2827: I'm not allowed to make a +5 returning adamantine heavy shield.
    2827a: Especially if I name it The Shield Of The Avenger.
    2827b: If I build a character around throwing my shield, I am not allowed to call myself Captain <nation>.
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  7. - Top - End - #1087
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    Balmas's Avatar

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    2828: If the party consists of Bob the straight-laced paladin, Kayndar the Radiant Servant of Pelor, and Aerith the nature-loving druid, my next character should not be Rhomus, the Vecna-worshipping undead necromancer.
    2828a: Even if he's neutral.
    2828b: And no, sending a horde of wights to save children from a burning orphanage is not going to end well.
    "Yeah, I might have overreacted I suppose, shooting him, but it wasn't his spoon! I stole ammo, fine, but what was with the spoon?

    "...When did I get a spoon, anyway?" ~Gopher

  8. - Top - End - #1088
    Ettin in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    Quote Originally Posted by Xerinous View Post
    2827: I'm not allowed to make a +5 returning adamantine heavy shield.
    2827a: Especially if I name it The Shield Of The Avenger.
    2827b: If I build a character around throwing my shield, I am not allowed to call myself Captain <nation>.
    Tell that to Captain Andoran.

    2829. I'm not allowed to kill just one enemy and then hold back while I tap my foot expectantly for the rest of the party to pull their weight and kill the rest.
    2829b. Doesn't matter that there are equal amounts of PCs to enemies.
    2829c. Especially when I'm playing a Summoner and by my own logic I should kill 2 enemies, since I provide both my Summoner and Eidolon.
    2830. I'm not allowed to continue torturing enemies after the party extracts all useful information out of an enemy.
    2830b. Especially when none of us are evil but neutral is pretty prevalent.
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  9. - Top - End - #1089
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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    2831: Aimlessly and aggravatingly alliterative announcements of actions are always to be avoided.
    2832: No matter how many Reverse Gravity spells I use, I cannot go into space.
    2833: Adventuring parties do not need balloons, cake, or presents.
    2834: I do not get experience points for killing the Dungeon Master.
    When in doubt, use cute little dragons.



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  10. - Top - End - #1090
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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    Quote Originally Posted by 4th Edition D&D PHB
    Split the Sky: As you strike, you invoke ancient words of holy wrath that rumble with the power of storm clouds, causing your foe to stumble backward and fall.
    2835. Regardless of the flavor text, the name of the power is not "Fus Ro Dah."

    2836: Any character that makes the DM bookmark more than ten pages for reference is automatically vetoed.

    2837: Just because I can play a wizard with enough minions, gold and stats to solve both the national debt and cancer at the same time does not mean that I should.
    "Yeah, I might have overreacted I suppose, shooting him, but it wasn't his spoon! I stole ammo, fine, but what was with the spoon?

    "...When did I get a spoon, anyway?" ~Gopher

  11. - Top - End - #1091
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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    2838: I am no longer allowed to make custom Epic Level Weapons, no matter how much gold I have.
    2839: I may not make a cleric who takes a homebrew vow of suffering (+8 Wisdom, double healing effects, cannot heal himself) and cast healing spells on a party member with spell turning active to bypass it.
    2840: Not matter how much ego it has or how powerful it is, evil intelligent weapons cannot possess their wielders by shouting 'ASSUMING DIRECT CONTROL'.
    2841: Nor can the weapon fire slow-moving concussive fireballs that activate a symbol of pain and shout 'THIS HURTS YOU'.
    2842: Evil intelligent weapons are not Harbinger!
    2842b: However, a CE intelligent greatsword is perfectly allowed to shout things like 'Murder Death Kill Bwa ha haaa!' in combat.
    "'Elvish barbeque' is what happens when the Quessir send one of their Evokers to deal with an orc invasion and then go home for the evening." - Elmah Dryearghymn, an elvish Evoker, as depicted to the left

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  12. - Top - End - #1092
    Pixie in the Playground
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    2843: I am no longer allowed to hit bartenders in the back of the head with Whiskey bottles while invisible.
    2843a: I am also not allowed to sever their heads and pull out their intestines, and make him into a hand-puppet.
    2843b: Also not allowed to make him sound like the Merchant from Resident Evil 4 while saying "Sorry I got ahead of myself, what do you want to drink. Oh wait! I don't have hands!"

    2844: I am no longer allowed pickpoket the alchemists vials and pretend it was the party's healer.
    2844a: I am also not allowed to decapitate the party's healer for not healing any of the injured party, proclaiming "He was deaf" and couldn't understand us.
    2844b: Also not allowed to loot the Healer's gear and scream out "Trolls in the dungeon, Trolls in the dungeon!" while running away.

    2845: I am no longer allowed to play Chaotic Neutral.
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  13. - Top - End - #1093
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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    2846: I do not have a Cannibalism Superpower.
    2847: I am not a Half-Ooze.
    2848: I may not play a Great Wyrm Prismatic dragon. Even in an epic campaign.
    2849: We can't play gods on adventures, nothing we meet will be enough of a challenge to be interesting.
    Cthulhu fhtagn R'lyeh!
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  14. - Top - End - #1094
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    The Second's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    2850: If I am playing the paladin, I may not make lewd innuendos while I lay hands on someone.
    2851: I may not use the spell Transmute Rock to Mud to create a mud wrestling ring then challenge the bard to a match.
    2952: The apparatus of the crab does not have a V10, six speed gearbox, and comfy seating for eight.
    2953: Absolutely no playing solitaire with the deck of many things.
    2954: If my character is eating steak while the rest of the party is eating iron rations, I had better have bought enough to share.
    2855: If the rangers wolf bites me after I have been poking him with a stick for the last hour I may not suggest we cut off it's head and have it tested for rabies.

    1782. I will remember we're playing 4th edition and stop using my imagination.
    - From 1975 things MR. Welch is no longer allowed to do in an RPG.

  15. - Top - End - #1095
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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    2856: I may not wield undead or constructs or use them as ammunition, either.
    2857: The shark pit must be crossed with a method other than the Jump skill.
    2858: I may not persuade the entire party to have maximum ranks in at least one Perform skill.
    2859: I do not have weapon proficiency with trees.
    2860: I cannot play a donkey-person assassin under any circumstances.
    When in doubt, use cute little dragons.



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  16. - Top - End - #1096
    Pixie in the Playground
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    Quote Originally Posted by PurityIcekiller View Post
    2859: I do not have weapon proficiency with trees.
    2861: I am Not Allowed to play any type of character named "Reginald"
    2861a: Reginald Carmichael the Third Esquire Jr. Sr. Jr. Former Mad Alchemist, Present Leader of Our Lady of Perpetual Invincible Bears, Future God Fearing American, is the only PC, turned NPC, turned Cthul-ian Mythos character to bear the Cursed name "Reginald" for all time.
    Last edited by anmgarmvits; 2012-04-30 at 12:52 PM.
    "So, I carry the lodestone back to my flat in Brixton in a second-hand ASDA bag. The romance of the mystic arts, eh?" -- John Constantine

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  17. - Top - End - #1097
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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    2062: I am not to sing 'We represent the Lollipop Guild" while visiting the secret halfling homelands. Even if I am playing a halfling bard. Even if my character is the grandson of the ancestral ruler of the secret halfling homelands, and the hero destined to save it from eternal ruin.

    2063: I may not, under any circumstances, even if I ask nicely, cast Otto's Irresistible Dance on the ancestral ruler of the secret halfling homeland.

    2964: I am not allowed, ever again, to play a halfling bard who is unknowingly the prince of the secret halfling homeland.

    2065: The DM will remember that asking me for plot inspiration is a really bad idea.

    1782. I will remember we're playing 4th edition and stop using my imagination.
    - From 1975 things MR. Welch is no longer allowed to do in an RPG.

  18. - Top - End - #1098
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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    Quote Originally Posted by The Second View Post
    2065: The DM will remember that asking me for plot inspiration is a really bad idea.
    2065a. If the DM for some reason doesn't remember, they get whats coming to them

    2066. Playing a clumsy character who has a tendency to fall into water named Kerplunk Sploosh, is frowned upon.

    2067. When playing a blilnd wizard, fireballs are not the first, last and best line of defense.
    2067a. Especially if they're invisible fireballs

    2068. The deck of many things is not meant to be loot found in the first adventure.
    2068a. Even if you just want to see if the characters are brave enough to even draw 1 card.

    2069. Having a partially used deck of many things as loot is just plain mean, and in some cases evil.

  19. - Top - End - #1099
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    DwarfFighterGuy

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    2070: When my character's family is kidnapped the proper response is to bite the plot hook and go rescue them, NOT to say "They can take care of themselves, I'm not their babysitter. And besides we have a world to save, that kinda takes priority anyway and this is obviously meant to distract us."
    2070a: Even if it is entirely in character and said family ARE trained warriors.

    2071: I am not allowed to create a character that is so good at stealth that the only way they can even be spotted is if the DM min/maxes them around doing so.

    2072: I am not allowed to make fun of stereotypes.
    2072a: Especially stereotypes that are represented at the table.
    2072b: Even if I am the one representing.
    Been there, fought that, died horribly.

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  20. - Top - End - #1100
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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    2073: NEVER question the GM's prejudice against the Book of Weeaboo Fightan Magic
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  21. - Top - End - #1101
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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    Quote Originally Posted by Emperor Ing View Post
    2073: NEVER question the GM's prejudice against the Book of Weeaboo Fightan Magic
    2074: Never play with any DM who has a prejudice against the Tome of Melee was finally given SOMETHING Nice!
    "I Burn!"

  22. - Top - End - #1102
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    Default Re: X000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    2074: 'It's magic' does not explain everything.
    2075: 'It's magic' does not explain anything in a sci-fi campaign.
    Cthulhu fhtagn R'lyeh!
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  23. - Top - End - #1103
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    Balmas's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    2576: If at any point in time my animal companion is stronger than any party member, the character is vetoed.
    2576b: Ditto for familiars.

    2577: I shall never forget Rule Zero: if the book states that I can auto-crit with a vorpal sword and insta-kill any and all, but the DM says otherwise, the DM wins.
    Last edited by Balmas; 2012-05-23 at 02:12 AM.
    "Yeah, I might have overreacted I suppose, shooting him, but it wasn't his spoon! I stole ammo, fine, but what was with the spoon?

    "...When did I get a spoon, anyway?" ~Gopher

  24. - Top - End - #1104
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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    2878: There is no such character alignment as False Neutral.
    2879: The guy giving us the quest may not be killed for experience as an alternative.
    2880: Other players do not get docked experience points for copycatting my character design no matter how blatantly they do so.
    Last edited by PurityIcekiller; 2012-05-24 at 07:00 PM.
    When in doubt, use cute little dragons.



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  25. - Top - End - #1105
    Ettin in the Playground
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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    2881: Oatmeal is not allowed to be used as ammunition for a catapult, trebuchet, or cannon. No matter how thick and heavy the Dwarf makes it every morning.
    2881a: Gnome ammunition is still acceptable if the Gnome has eaten the oatmeal first.

    EDIT: Actually, looking back up, I have no idea what number I should be.
    2081?
    2581?
    2881?
    I'll edit as advised.
    Last edited by Karoht; 2012-05-25 at 10:28 AM.
    ~~Courage is not the lack of fear~~
    Quote Originally Posted by gooddragon1 View Post
    If the party wizard can't survive a supersonic dragon made of iron at epic levels it's his own fault really.
    "In soviet dungeon, aboleth farms you!"

  26. - Top - End - #1106
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    Balmas's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    2882: Teammates are not to be used as ammunition in any circumstances. See rule 2882B
    2882B: Teammates may be flung at enemies because that's just really cool.

    2883: Thou shalt make sure to keep an accurate count of rules.
    "Yeah, I might have overreacted I suppose, shooting him, but it wasn't his spoon! I stole ammo, fine, but what was with the spoon?

    "...When did I get a spoon, anyway?" ~Gopher

  27. - Top - End - #1107
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    DwarfFighterGuy

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    2884: If the DM specifically says that any cheap tactics the party uses will then become fair game for the NPC's, I am not allowed to collaborate with the rest of the party to come up with extremely cheap tactics AND easy (and not obvious ) ways for us to counter those tactics at the same time.

    2885: I am not allowed to keep asking every NPC I talk to for their name.
    2885a: Especially if I know the DM is bad at pulling names out of thin air and refuses to keep a list of names made ahead of time.
    2885b: Even if I am doing it on purpose to get him to improve on one of his few glaring weaknesses and become a much better DM for it.
    Been there, fought that, died horribly.

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  28. - Top - End - #1108
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    2886: The line on my character sheet for "Class" refers to character class, not taxonomic class.
    2887: My first wish from the genie cannot be "I wish that there would be no restrictions on what I can wish for".
    2888: Defeating myself does not give experience points.
    2889: "Chainsaw Good" is not a valid character alignment.
    When in doubt, use cute little dragons.



    (::) (::) Trog gave me cookies by accident. Mmm.

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  29. - Top - End - #1109
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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    2890: Chaotic Neutral does not give me the right to do whatever I want.
    2891: Keeping track of how many minutes pass between Monty Python jokes will result in DM smitage.
    2892: Especially if I'm keeping track so I can inject something every five minutes or so.
    2893: If the character can be recognized by an outsider as belonging to any pantheon, I should probably rework my character sheet.
    2894: Positioning myself east of a castle and programming a Stationary Rod to remain stationary compared to where the earth was will not result in the speed of the planet's rotation to smash the castle against the rod.
    2895: If, at any point after third level, my character draws from twice as many sourcebooks as I have levels, I die.
    2896: Books are meant to be read; however, at the table while we're playing is probably not the best time.
    2897: Building little book forts is right out.
    2898: I will not make any vulgar gestures at dice as I roll them. Whispering, cajoling, blowing, rubbing, hissing, kissing, are all permissable.
    2899: Bards are not an acceptable source of ammunition.
    2900: I do not have a holy hand grenade, in this reality or any other.
    "Yeah, I might have overreacted I suppose, shooting him, but it wasn't his spoon! I stole ammo, fine, but what was with the spoon?

    "...When did I get a spoon, anyway?" ~Gopher

  30. - Top - End - #1110
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    2901: I am not allowed to have 3+ 18 level abilities on my first level character, even if I did roll them!
    2902: I may not wield a large greataxe that causes 3d6 damage and can possibly crit for 72 total damage at level 1.
    2903: I may not demand that my character be a time lord and have a Tardis.
    2904: I may not demand that said character also secretly be a pony.
    2905: I may not use quotations from the Princess Bride, Monty Python, Star Wars, or any other media incessantly.
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