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  1. - Top - End - #91
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    DwarfFighterGuy

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    Quote Originally Posted by MoriHikari View Post
    212. while playing a rouge, I will no longer try to steal people's pants during battle

    213. in addition, no matter how sneaky I am, If I do attempt to steal the pants right off the bad guy, he will notice me doing so...
    251: I cannot make sneak attacks with siege weapons.

    252: If I am not playing a rogue, I cannot convince the new guy who is that he in fact can make a sneak attack with that ballista.

    253: I am not allowed to play any Divine-flavored classes ever again.
    Last edited by Choco; 2010-02-19 at 04:22 PM.
    Been there, fought that, died horribly.

    Something fun and flavorful to get your DM throwing books at you: Katana Chucker



  2. - Top - End - #92
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    NecromancerGuy

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    254. They are not taking the hobbits to isengard

    255. The elf will not win the drinking contest.

    256. The elf wizard will not be involved in a drinking contest because alcohol and magic don't mix.

    257. Any loss of property incurred by disobeying 256 will not be paid for by dominating other party members into working it off.
    "To play a fighter is to play the game.
    To play a wizard is to understand the rules.
    To understand the rules, and play a fighter, is to understand the game."
    -Lycar
    My Homebrew

  3. - Top - End - #93
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    Ranger Mattos's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    Quote Originally Posted by Jarrick View Post
    222. There is no such thing as a were-cow.
    WHAT!!!1!!!!one!!1!

    258. I cannot strap achemist's fire to a chicken and let it wander into the enemy commander's tent.

    259. I cannot throw cows at my enemies, not even if I am a half-dragon orc with 40 strength.

    260. I am not allowed to kill my enemies by getting a way to fly and then falling on them.
    Last edited by Ranger Mattos; 2010-02-20 at 12:59 PM.
    Avatar by me. My PM box is always open, for avatars, or just talking.

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    Neutral Good Elf Druid/Cleric (1st/1st Level)
    Futhark rune by Icewalker.

    Quote Originally Posted by Dragonprime View Post
    Wouldn't a bulb only be sharp if someone broke it? Oh...wait...that's actually very fitting for this situation. Well played Ranger Mattos. Your metaphor-crafting is masterful indeed.

  4. - Top - End - #94
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Sahaar's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    161--I cannot do a dance in place of a Bluff check

    162--I cannot buy items in the middle of a dungeon crawl

    163--I cannot sneak attack a ninja

    164--I cannot watch TV in the middle of a dungeon crawl

    165--I cannot spot a ninja in less than low-light

    166--I cannot poke a guard, then proceed to stab him in the face.

    167--I cannot be listening to heavy metal while making a move silently check.
    Last edited by Sahaar; 2010-02-19 at 08:05 PM.
    78% of DM's started their first campaign in a tavern. If you're one of the 22% that didn't, copy and paste this into your signature.

    Where did you start yours?
    I started mine with my party investigating a disturbance at a ruined temple of the gods.

  5. - Top - End - #95
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    MoriHikari's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    umm...aren't we in the two hundreds

    268. I will not win a battle, as a druid, by wild shaping into a bear and sitting on the bad guy until he says uncle.

    269. I will not bet the princess of a country in a wager...even if she's a member of my party.

    270. I will not drink my self into a stupor to forget losing the bet I wagerd the princess in.
    We are Here. We are One. We are the Playground.

  6. - Top - End - #96
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    waterpenguin43's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    271: I will not sell my fellow party members souls to Levistus.
    272: I cannot make "Move Loudly" checks.
    Beautiful avatar by Mr_Saturn
    Quote Originally Posted by Maximum Zersk View Post
    ...I think that counts as your own Crowning Moment of Awesome, WP.
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    Lovely avatar of an NPC in Camp Half-Blood of mine by Crimson Angel:
    Thanks to Green Bean for my Spheal avatar.

    Also thanks to VT for awarding me with a VT monster competition award.


    Four internets and a cookie!

  7. - Top - End - #97
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    Moff Chumley's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    273: Keytar is not a playable weapon.
    274: Likewise, The Power of Rock is not an actual spell.
    Avatar by Kris on a Stick

  8. - Top - End - #98
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    XtheYeti's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    275: If when thinking about what I'm about to do, I vomit more than once. The action is not allowed.

    276: If my character actions cause other players to vomit, my character is now Chaotic evil. And then smote to non-existence by the DM.

    277: If I cause the entire group to vomit all at once, I get beat into unconsciousness with multiple PHBs

  9. - Top - End - #99
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Gem Flower's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    278. I am not allowed to let the others in my party eat each other
    278. I am not permitted to allow the others in my party to sit down in front of a raging monster and eat moldy bread
    279. I am not allowed to mention Bob the Undead Barbarian
    Thank you Tiffanie Lirle for the totally awesome avatar!

    Quote Originally Posted by Mee View Post
    So? This is the town. We don't listen to the laws of reality.
    We rewrote it for our own convenience.
    In memory of Gary Gygax, 1938-2008

  10. - Top - End - #100
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    Ranger Mattos's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    280. I am not allowed to construct cunning plans if my character is a barbarien, even if he has 18 Intelligence.
    Avatar by me. My PM box is always open, for avatars, or just talking.

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    Neutral Good Elf Druid/Cleric (1st/1st Level)
    Futhark rune by Icewalker.

    Quote Originally Posted by Dragonprime View Post
    Wouldn't a bulb only be sharp if someone broke it? Oh...wait...that's actually very fitting for this situation. Well played Ranger Mattos. Your metaphor-crafting is masterful indeed.

  11. - Top - End - #101
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Cryssandra's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    281. I am not allowed to bribe any unfriendly NPC with the bag of doritos I have sitting next to my Character Sheet...

    Dolls by the Incredibly Talented Recaiden!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Coplantor
    Life is like a dungeon master, if it smiles at you, you just know that something terrible is about to happen.


    Amazing Avatar by Felyndiira!

  12. - Top - End - #102
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    Jesse Drake's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    282 I am not allowed to lock my fellow rogue in a chest as punishment for carelessly setting off the trap that was in it.
    Last edited by Jesse Drake; 2010-03-01 at 08:33 AM.
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  13. - Top - End - #103
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    NecromancerGuy

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    283 When a party member is dying on -9, I will not 'drown him back to 0'.
    284 I will not immediately slaughter the town guards if they charge me 2 silver pieces for a legal road toll.
    285 I will not complain that the chances of hitting an enemy 10ft away with a longbow is exactly the same as hitting him 100ft away.
    286 When in parley, I will actually negotiate with the leader of the enemy army instead of killing him as soon as he steps foward.
    287 As a DM, I will refrain from attacking the PC's with fiendish Shocker Lizards riding on Shambling Mounds.
    Last edited by Mordeus_Dire; 2010-03-01 at 10:13 PM.
    EVIL. A growth industry "We're ALWAYS Hiring"

    "You have a duty, Belkar. A duty to serve the Greater You.
    Saving a life, though regrettable, is a small price to pay for a whole lifetime of unfettered killing."
    - Belkar's Conscience

  14. - Top - End - #104
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Cryssandra's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    288. I am not allowed to insist on casting 0th level Wizard spells as a barbarian, even though I am technically a 0th level Wizard....

    Dolls by the Incredibly Talented Recaiden!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Coplantor
    Life is like a dungeon master, if it smiles at you, you just know that something terrible is about to happen.


    Amazing Avatar by Felyndiira!

  15. - Top - End - #105
    Halfling in the Playground
     
    HalflingRogueGuy

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    289: i am not allowed to make sneak attacks with my severed arm, especially on the monster the monster that bit it off in the first thing.
    sometimes you just want to play something completely overpowered and kill things, other times you want to play a bard with a point-buy 18...

  16. - Top - End - #106
    Halfling in the Playground
     
    DwarfFighterGuy

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    290: I am not allowed to throw the unconious cleric at the vampire and make the arguement that the vamp should take damage because the cleric is a "holy item."
    Owen Brainstomper

    What do you mean its my turn to feed the Cold Ones?

  17. - Top - End - #107
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    Ishcumbeebeeda's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    Quote Originally Posted by Brainstomper View Post
    290: I am not allowed to throw the unconious cleric at the vampire and make the arguement that the vamp should take damage because the cleric is a "holy item."
    I think that if anybody did this in any of the groups I've been in they'd get bonus RP XP. There was a president for other party members being improvised weapons after all. Which leads me to:

    291: I am no longer allowed to list "Kitsune Bard" in the weapons field of my character sheets.

    292: "FLYING KITSUNE BARD!" is not an appropriate battle cry for a Warlock, even if I can fly and am strong enough to lift/carry/throw the Kitsune Bard.

    293: A person who shall remain nameless is no longer allowed to play a Kitsune Bard, or anything that my character could possibly pick up.
    Last edited by Ishcumbeebeeda; 2010-03-03 at 04:29 AM.
    I will be out of town visiting my family for Easter for the next few days (Friday the 18th through Wednesday the 23rd) and will have little to no internet access. I apologize to anyone whom this may inconvenience.

  18. - Top - End - #108
    Orc in the Playground
     
    PallElendro's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    294. I cannot play an Archangel/Eladrin Paladin.
    295. I can't play a Paladin/Rogue just for the Sneak Attacks.
    296. I am not allowed to have the Cake be a lie.
    297. I can't make an Athletics check to hit harder to a foe, with a +30 bonus to that Athletics.
    298. I cannot teabag my dead foes.
    299. I cannot imitate Nelson when an ally is bloodied. HA-HA!
    300. I can't go into a city ready for war and shout "THIS! IS! SPARTA!"
    301: I can't have a Spartan birthed for war, over the other 300.
    Last edited by PallElendro; 2010-03-03 at 09:56 AM.

  19. - Top - End - #109
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    Geno9999's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    Quote Originally Posted by Pally Elendro View Post
    300. I can't go into a city ready for war and shout "THIS! IS! SPARTA!"
    302: I can no longer kick people into their deaths while shouting "THIS! IS! SPARTAAAAA!!!
    you know that I'm more than just a doll do you?-Geno
    Add me on Steam!
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    by Thecrimsonmage and By Shades of Gray by Akrim.elf

    and current made by me.

  20. - Top - End - #110
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    Ranger Mattos's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    303. I cannot use the air as an improvised weapon.
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    Neutral Good Elf Druid/Cleric (1st/1st Level)
    Futhark rune by Icewalker.

    Quote Originally Posted by Dragonprime View Post
    Wouldn't a bulb only be sharp if someone broke it? Oh...wait...that's actually very fitting for this situation. Well played Ranger Mattos. Your metaphor-crafting is masterful indeed.

  21. - Top - End - #111
    Halfling in the Playground
     
    HalflingRogueGuy

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    304: i can no longer play as a litch named eddie. \m/
    sometimes you just want to play something completely overpowered and kill things, other times you want to play a bard with a point-buy 18...

  22. - Top - End - #112
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    Zexion's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    305. I may not be a doppelganger named Frida who wears a pink leotard and does gymnastics.
    Avatar by CrimsonAngel.

  23. - Top - End - #113
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    DwarfFighterGuy

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    306: Any character based on Bon Clay is instantly vetoed.
    Been there, fought that, died horribly.

    Something fun and flavorful to get your DM throwing books at you: Katana Chucker



  24. - Top - End - #114
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    Zexion's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    307. When taking a full-round action to run at high speeds, I may not argue that it should grant a bonus to AC.
    Avatar by CrimsonAngel.

  25. - Top - End - #115
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    DwarfClericGuy

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    308. I am not allowed to play Arthur Dent
    309. especially in a fantasy setting
    310. I am no longer allowed to use zombies to freak out the cops in Scion.
    311. Nor am I allowed to initiate a pissing contest with Titanspawn
    312. I am no longer allowed to build a Halfling ballista to break siege. especially when I don't have the Halfling's permission.
    reminding myself of things:

    Linus

  26. - Top - End - #116
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    Geno9999's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    313: I cannot use one of my teammates as a improvised weapon.
    314: I cannot say "The Cake is a lie!... But Pie isn't."
    315: In a sci-fi setting, I cannot make a blue-skinned who runs around in his underwear and is named Freakazoid
    316: I cannot make Freakazoid in a time period before computers.
    317: I cannot ask the guys in the middle of a battle if they want to go for a snowcone.
    318: I cannot make a villain named Candle Jack
    319: I will never sa
    you know that I'm more than just a doll do you?-Geno
    Add me on Steam!
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    by Thecrimsonmage and By Shades of Gray by Akrim.elf

    and current made by me.

  27. - Top - End - #117
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    Zexion's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    320. I may not start a romantic relationship with the BBEG.
    321. If 320 is broken, I may not attempt a sexual encounter.
    322. Especially if the BBEG is a nonhumanoid.
    323. I may not make references to SWAIM during an encounter.
    Last edited by Zexion; 2010-03-05 at 09:27 PM.
    Avatar by CrimsonAngel.

  28. - Top - End - #118
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    drengnikrafe's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    324. I am no longer allowed to "accidentally" forget a piece of the GM's errata and apply them to things that involve several modifiers.

    325. I am no longer allowed to "accidentally" forget a piece of the GM's errata at all.

    326. The answer to negotiations is no longer able to be "Stick it in the bag of holding, and wait for it to surrender".

    327. No matter how broken my wizard is, his power levels will never be over 9000.

  29. - Top - End - #119
    Orc in the Playground
     
    PallElendro's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    328: I can't be a Paladin of Freedom/bard/sorcerer/rogue.
    329: I can't integrate RuneScape into the campaign.
    330: I can't play Master Chief in the games.
    331: I can't submit my ideas. Trust me, you shouldn't want to know
    332: My DM won't let me use my +56 Diplomacy.
    333: I can't divide 999 by 3 for this "2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG" thing.
    334: The crossbow can't be loaded with bullets.
    335: I can't do an Acrobatics check to avoid an attack skillfully.
    336: I can't have my character end up doing everything. Even if the other players agree.
    337: I can't houserule Smite Evil to my character.
    338: Detect Evil is something I should never use in a 3.5 game. (Which is rare for me to play)
    339: Will Defense is not "will defend"
    340: Fortitude is not a crunched word of "Fortress of Solitude".
    341: I can't use Kryptonite for a weapon.
    342: I can't brag about getting a Bonus Feat at 1st level should I play a Human.
    343: 343 Guilty Spark can't be used as a boss.
    344: I can't substitute a Roleplaying Game with a Rocket-Propelled Grenade.
    Last edited by PallElendro; 2010-07-14 at 11:09 AM. Reason: Spelling errors I just saw now.

  30. - Top - End - #120
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    CelesTial's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    345: I am not allowed to call shots to turn arrows into bashing damage by firing another arrow at them to flip them around
    346: Before fighting an abyssal, I am not allowed to set my ipod to My Chemical Romance.
    347: I am not allowed to call shots and stun to turn people into eunuchs
    348: I am not allowed to quote Gurren Lagann when delivering a dramatic speech
    349: I am then not allowed to make an artefact battle drill and a war strider
    350: If I create another war strider, I am not allowed to use moonsilver to combine the two.

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